As she slowly opened her eyes, bright light flooded her vision.
So, is this how it is on the other side? she thought for a moment, before her eyes adjusted and she clearly discerned a shape of a lamp. She slowly looked down to her hand and commanded the fingers on the right hand to move. They responded immediately. She repeated the process with the left hand and both her feet, with success. Next, she tried to lift her right arm up, but she felt numbness overtake her almost instantly. Stopping for a while, she looked around to asses the surroundings.
It was, without a doubt, a hospital. She didn't not know where, but it didn't matter for now. She was surprised to see she had a whole room to herself. Opposite her, there was an armchair, and her heart swelled up when she saw Howard sleeping in it, his jacket draped over him like a makeshift blanket. Peggy tried to speak, but her voice was weak, even quieter than a whisper.
"Howard."
Somehow, he heard it, as he shot up from the armchair, looking at her. His expression turned into a smile as he crouched down near the bed.
"Hello, Peggy." he said. "How are you feeling?"
"Numb." she responded, gulping loudly. "Is there water in here?"
"Yes, one moment." Howard quickly grabbed a glass from the table next to the bed and raised it to Peggy's lips. She sipped the drink for a moment before nodding. Howard took the glass away from her.
"What happened?" she spoke again, this time a bit more loudly.
"You got shot. Two bullets to the shoulder, missed the bone, fortunately." he responded, his voice neutral. "You nearly bled out, needed a transfusion. Later, they got you here."
She stayed silent, processing what had just been said. Memories started flooding her mind. The sharp pain, the losing fight to stay conscious. Suddenly, she felt her heart ache as emotions overwhelmed her. She asked, on the verge of tears.
"Steve?"
Howard lowered his head and took a deep breath.
"We don't know."
"What?" she asked, her voice quivering.
"When we were escaping, we were to busy with you to pay attention. After we left you at the medical tent, the terrain where we left the tank was back on our side. We got there and..." he paused, taking another deep breath.
"The tank was there, burned out. But nothing more than that. He... vanished. We found no body, dog tags, any personal things. And we searched very thoroughly."
At this point, Peggy felt her heart break in two. She let out a sob as tears spilled from her eyes. Howard quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it, offering some degree of comfort. She continued to cry for a while, before she stopped, sniffling loudly.
"If there is no body..." she spoke, her voice still thick with emotion.
"...then he still might be alive, yes." Howard filled in. "Peggy, you have to believe. Maybe he is hiding somewhere, maybe he's with another unit."
Peggy didn't have a response for this. She closed her eyes and breathed in as she prayed silently.
Please be alive, please, come back to me, my love.
She was released from hospital a month later, complete with an honorable discharge and a Purple Heart to her name. She didn't want this, but Thompson was unrelenting and Dooley didn't even try to overrule him. This was a battle she couldn't win. As for the last week of her treatment she got transferred back to London, she left the rest of the boys the address to contact her in case Steve came back. It was her old studio apartment, the first proper home after she moved out from the rest of the family. As the days, weeks and then months passed by, hope diminished and sorrow started to sow it's seeds. She found herself not wanting to even get up from the bed anymore – something she would not even think about earlier. Everywhere she looked, she thought she saw him, only for it to be an illusion. Every disappointment like this felt like a knife piercing her heart, tearing it into a million pieces that could never be glued back. Her dreams were always of her trying to save him, only to watch him die. She always woke up abruptly, sweat covering her body and tears welled up in her eyes. She felt emptiness envelop her and suddenly thoughts of whether a life without Steve was even possible started to flood her mind. One night she regained momentary clarity in a drunken haze to find herself sitting cross-legged on the floor, the barrel of a Webley revolver her father used to own in her mouth, her fingers ready to squeeze the trigger. Her eyes widened as she threw the gun as far away as possible, before she collapsed onto the floor, tears spilling freely, whispering his name and pleading him to come back. She woke up the next morning, surprisingly sober and with a clear mind. She then thought what Steve would think of her now – weak, consumed by grief and sorrow. She then promised herself never to falter anymore, because Steve for sure wouldn't.
When she heard the news of the surrender, Peggy didn't even try to celebrate. For her, the war was lost when she lost Steve, so there was nothing to be proud for or happy of. Seeing other people cheer would made her heart pain even more than usual. She didn't even get out of her bed the entire day, her attention consumed by grief and the feeling of hopelessness. She felt she was sinking again, never to resurface. The next day, however, she got up early and set about her usual routine. She didn't know why, but for the first time since Steve disappeared, she felt hopeful about the future. The whiplash was unexpected, but pleasant, in a way. She still felt the lack of him, but it didn't pain her as much as it used to. At first , she chastised herself for that, but then thought about what his opinion would be. And if one thing was certain, he wouldn't want to see Peggy sad and defeated.
New York City, November 1945
As she turned the lock in her door, Peggy's thoughts were already focusing on how she would spend the evening. She imagined a warm cup of tea (perfect to counteract the downpour enveloping the city) on her coffee table, and herself tucked under the blanket on her sofa, reading a book. Since her move to New York two moths ago, she slowly started to warm herself up to the city. After Howard found out how miserable she was in London, he made it his mission to make her at least content with her life again. At first, she rejected his offers, not certain whether his proposals would benefit her. However, soon, she warmed up to them and decided to move on. Outside from a cozy position in his family business and an apartment in Brooklyn, she appreciated how he treated her with respect, unlike many of her co-workers. The new possibilities the move made possible filled her with excitement for what was to come.
She quickly disposed of her wet clothes and stockings before changing into one of her nightgowns. She didn't plan to go anywhere for the night and the weather reinforced this idea. Soon, she found herself under a warm blanket, reading a book while her tea stood right where it was supposed to be. As the minutes passed, she noticed how her attention towards the book diminished, as she thought about how domestic and calm her life now was. It wasn't long before she thought how it would be if Steve was here. At the mention of his name, she could feel her emotions rise to the surface as she bit her lip and fought back the tears. She calmed herself down by breathing heavily for a few moments, before she marveled at the silence blanketing her apartment again.
That was, until someone knocked at the door.
At first, Peggy thought it was a mistake or she heard something wrong. But then the knocking sounded again, definitely coming from the other side of her door. Sighing quietly, she walked to the door, unlatching the chain, moving back the bolt and turning the key. She pressed the handle and opened the door slightly.
"Hello, who is..." she said, before she looked at the mystery person. But when she did look, she felt her throat constrict as she gasped.
Standing in front of her was a man she thought was dead long ago. In a completely soaked jacket and pants, with a bouquet of crimson roses in his hand.
"Steve?" she asked, her voice thick with emotion as she felt her cheeks dampen. She suddenly felt her legs wobble a bit, but it subsided quickly.
"Hi, Peggy." he said, his voice thick, sniffling. "Sorry I'm late."
She swung the door open and launched herself at him, pulling him into a kiss. It was rough and heated, and soon she swallowed his moan. She tasted the tears on her tongue as she broke off, panting.
"You're alive, you're back, my love." she said. "God, Steve, it's real."
"Yes, Peggy, yes." he replied, tears spilling from his eyes as well, as he ran a hand through her hair. "I'm here. To stay."
She quickly pushed him inside her apartment as she locked the door. Then, she pulled him into another kiss. It was slower than the previous one, full of love and affection. Steve kissed her back, trying to convey the same emotions to her as their hands roamed around their bodies, the bouquet left on the floor.
"I've missed you so much." Peggy said after they broke the kiss, her voice still thick with emotion. "I thought you'd never come back."
"I've missed you too." he replied, as his hands moved towards waist. "I thought we would never get that dance."
"I can teach you." she retorted. "We have all the time in he world now. But..."
"But what?" he asked, his tone tinged with fear.
"Now, I want to do this." she said as she kissed him again and her hands moved to pull the soaked jacket off of him. She quickly moved her hands to his shirt, popping his buttons quickly, not breaking the kiss. Steve moaned into her mouth again before he broke off, resting his head on her forehead.
"Peggy, what are you doing?" he asked, breathless.
"Oh, Steve." she responded, as she lowered her head and whispered in his ear. "I want to make love to you. Show you how much I love you."
She looked back into his eyes and thought she saw a fire ignite behind his irises. Then, he grabbed her flaming cheeks and kissed her. His hands moved to the belt of the robe and started to untie it, before he stopped. Peggy moved her head back, confused.
"Steve, what is it?" she asked.
"I've..." he started, before pausing for a second. "...never done this before."
He watched her face as he prepared for her response. Then, she saw her lips curve into a smile.
"Oh, darling.", she said, her tone full of love. "Let me guide you."
She fused their lips again as she popped the last few buttons and pushed his shirt from his shoulders, leaving him bare-chested. He responded immediately, untying the belt, causing the nightgown to fall of her. As they moved to the bed, lips fused and hands touching as much skin as possible, they both couldn't believe how lucky they have gotten.
As Peggy opened her eyes, the first sight immediately made her heart melt. It was Steve, asleep, but still holding her in an embrace. Her mind drifted back to the events of the night – how she delivered on her promise, how happy and eager he was to show his love to her and how good they felt together. She ran her hand through his hair as she smiled. Soon, he woke up too, and the look on his face as he made eye contact said more than a thousand words.
"Hi, Peggy." he said, his voice sleepy.
"Hello, darling." she responded, before pecking him on the forehead. "How do you feel?"
"Very good." he responded before hie kissed her lips chastely. "It wasn't a dream."
"Certainly not." she responded as she kissed him back.
They laid like this for a moment, reveling in the love they shared, before Peggy spoke again.
"You never told me how you survived." her voice quivered. "How you got here. How you found me."
"Howard." he said. "When they shipped me back, I went straight to him. He hugged me so hard when we met I thought he would crush me. After that, he gave me your address."
She didn't respond, still looking at him.
"After you got shot..." he bagen, before he swallowed and continued. "... I covered you as much as I could. I ran out of ammo, so I gave myself up. I thought they would kill me there, but they didn't. They took me away, sent to a camp somewhere in Germany. They didn't let us send letters, so I couldn't tell you I was alive. They moved us around a lot in the last month, a few times we almost got hit by our own bombers. After the surrender, the British took over the camp and processed me. I got back to the States just 4 days ago."
When he finished, he saw a tear flow out of Peggy's eye. He quickly swiped it away. She spoke, her voice happy regardless of the tears.
"I still can't believe it. I grieved you, and yet you are here."
"Miracles do happen." Steve responded, smiling.
"Indeed." she responded, as she pulled him into a slow kiss, full of promise and love.
She couldn't still believe it. She had gotten a second chance with a man she loved nearly as much as her life, who loved her as much in return.
That was a chance she was not going to waste.
