When he entered their chambers after the day's meetings were complete, he found her in the same position as he'd left her. She had her back on the bed, but the lower half of her body was upright, propped up against the headboard.
She explained before he had a chance to ask. "I haven't been like this all day. I just keep going back to it to help things along."
"Little one, you're going to hurt yourself. If my seed was going to take, it would have done so already. And I won't even entertain the idea of giving it another go in your current state."
"I'm fine." But despite the assurance, she righted herself and sat up properly.
She knew very well that she was being irrational, but the lack of a pregnancy was really starting to panic her. Despite all their amorous encounters, it was going on eight months with no heir in sight. But he knew this as well as she did and it didn't bear discussing again.
"Fine? Really? Have you even taken a meal today?"
"I wouldn't have even if I'd have been upright. I was ill half the day."
That got his attention and he sat down beside her, feeling her forehead. "What was wrong, Erna?"
"My stomach was upset. It wasn't horrible, please don't panic."
He ran his hand down and cupped the side of her face. "You take too much of this upon yourself."
"What if we don't conceive? All our plans would be for naught." The panic in her eyes surprised him. He really had thought nothing of the time. It might take years before she got pregnant. Before the wedding there was so much worry of getting pregnant too soon and now the opposite was the trouble.
"If that happens, and I'm not convinced it has, then we'll think of something."
"You would have to divorce me in favor of someone more fertile." She stuck her chin out defiantly, sure this would be the wisest course were it to come to that.
"Erna, don't talk rubbish." His tone was harsh, but he wanted to snap her out of this line of thought. "When I say we would think of something, I'm not sure you remember what we're capable of when we combine our intellects and add my magic. Trust me, it will work out."
She just nodded, unshed tears shining in her eyes. He'd made his point and now it was time to move on. The less time she spent dwelling on this the better.
"Come on." He tugged her to her feet and found her unsteady at first. With great effort he kept the scowl off of his face. She hadn't taken care of herself today in hopes of conceiving. "Get settled in a nice hot bath and I'll see to getting you some supper. I'm hoping you're up to eating at least something."
"I'm starved now, actually. I feel like I could probably out eat Volstagg."
"Then you shall have a feast."
Her arms stole around his waist and she buried her face in his chest. "Thank you," he heard her murmur.
"You're very welcome, although I've done nothing special." He wrapped his own arms around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Please take care of yourself, little one. I only have one of you."
As she bathed, he brought her some fruit and cheese to tide her over until the meal arrived. She devoured it all, hoping he hadn't been joking about the feast. She'd skipped two meals and she was positively ravenous.
When she joined him in their small dining room, he'd already dismissed all the servants. She felt fine to stay in her robe and not bother putting anything else on. That and they'd be able to speak freely in a way they didn't allow themselves in front of even their household staff.
She tucked into the food with a gusto that made him smile. Loki filled her in on the day's appointments and she asked her usual round of insightful questions. Seeing that no lasting damage appeared to be done, he allowed himself to relax for the first time since seeing her upside down.
Although he'd been reluctant out of principle, she coaxed him into making slow, sweet love to her that night. He hadn't wanted to tax her, but he also got the distinct feeling that anything rougher just wasn't appropriate.
Afterward, as they lay tangled together, catching their breath, something occurred to him. "Little one?"
"Hmmm?"
"Today wasn't the first time you've been sick of late, was it?"
"No, it's happened a few other times recently. I probably need to lay off the ale," she chuckled, sill in a post-coital haze.
He sat up and drew her up with him, ignoring her sounds of protest. "Yes Erna, I rather think you will have to give up the ale." He gave her a meaningful look and watched her squint at him in confusion. Placing a hand lightly on her stomach, he added, "for a time."
The fuzziness in her brain finally receded enough to follow his train of thought. "Oh!" A hand flew to her mouth when she made the connection.
It was several minutes before she felt able to speak again. "I'm a prize idiot."
"Only you would be so distracted by getting pregnant that you didn't notice you already were."
"Shut up," she grumbled, but still tucked her head on his shoulder.
"We'll go see the healers tomorrow. My calendar isn't full of anything that can't be reshuffled."
"You want to come with?" Most of the ladies in waiting were fond of telling her not to get her hopes up about the king's involvement in her eventual pregnancy. She should have known Loki would ignore social convention.
"Of course. It's our child. And I want to speak to the chief healer. I want her to know that this coupling isn't as it appears on the surface."
"Halflings exist in many realms. I'm sure it won't be a problem."
"I wouldn't think so, but I want full disclosure with your physician. I'm not taking any chances with either of you."
"That's probably wise."
They settled back down into their usual sleeping positions. Loki's hand finally came to rest upon her stomach and she let it happen without comment. Pointing out the sentimentality of the gesture might have led him to remove it and she found it comforting.
When her mind finally stopped racing, she fell off into a sound sleep, content that her greatest fear hadn't come to pass. In the coming days and weeks, however, her priorities were bound to shift and new fears would emerge. But that was a thought for later.
-XXX-
Eir, the chief healer, didn't seem to like Erna. She tried to console herself with the fact that Eir didn't seem to like anybody. At least Loki had forewarned her about the prickly woman, but it still seemed odd that someone of her disposition chose a profession where she had to interact with scores of people.
A scan was able to quickly confirm that Erna was indeed pregnant and quite early on by the looks of it. Once it was confirmed, Loki waved at hand at the assistants and commanded them. "Leave us." They obeyed without a word.
"Eir, I must swear you to secrecy on what I'm about to divulge."
She looked as if she'd smelled something rotten. "I don't gossip about the details of my patients, no matter who they are."
"Be that as it may," Loki responded coolly, "I'd like your word all the same."
"Fine. You have it." Erna almost snorted at the curt reply. She wasn't used to seeing anyone stand up to Loki that way. Well, nobody but her.
"I am not of Asgardian birth. Odin adopted me after the battle of Jotunheim."
"Yes, and you're really a frost giant," she finished, waving her hand impatiently. "I've treated you enough over the years and I'm not an imbecile. I know what you are."
Panic registered on the king's face at this admission. "Does anyone else know?"
"Of course not," she let out a scornful bark of laughter. "Most see what they want to see rather than examining all the facts. Your majesty, I knew by the time you took ill with croup when you were a boy."
"Well that makes this considerably easier then," Erna replied. Loki seemed temporarily without speech, so she began the discussion in earnest. "We wanted you to know, in case it changes how you approach my care."
"Makes no difference to me."
"But will I have anything I need to take into account or will there be any unusual developments?"
"It's hard to say for certain. I've never presided over a coupling between a frost giant and a light elf. Things may be... unpredictable."
"Dangerously unpredictable?"
"I certainly hope not, but it's not likely to be a comfortable pregnancy for you, my queen."
"How so?" Loki's voice returned and Eir switched her attention back to him.
"The queen is small and carrying a giant's baby. I don't see any real reason to worry for her safety, but it likely won't be comfortable towards the end."
"But I can carry to full term?"
"I believe so, but I can't accurately say what full term is. It's different for both the races and could go to either extreme or something in the middle. I can't predict it."
"What is the Jotun gestation time? Light elves are usually around eight months."
"Twelve, your grace."
"Twelve. Right. That would be an adjustment, but if that's the case we'll deal with it."
"I'll need to monitor you closely and know that I will not hesitate to put you on bed rest if I see the need." It came out sounding every bit the threat it was.
"She'll follow your instructions to the letter. We'll see to it."
"And if the child gets too large, you may not be able to give birth traditionally. There's a possibility we'll have to remove it surgically. But it's something that happens occasionally and I wouldn't expect it to be unduly problematic."
"That's... reassuring," she replied. The idea wasn't a pleasant one, but she thought it best not to dwell on it until it became a necessity. It wouldn't do her good to worry about something that might not come to pass.
They received instructions for Erna's care and Eir insisted on conducting exams every week to stay abreast of her progress. By the time they got back to their rooms, Erna felt like the day had stretched on forever, but it was still only mid-morning.
"How do you feel, little one?" He watched her gratefully sink into the plush couch cushions with a searching look.
"Tired. But nothing some lunch and a nap wouldn't set to rights."
"I meant the situation. How do you feel about the situation?"
"Relieved, if I'm quite honest. But there's mostly just happiness. I didn't really realize I wanted this so much until I started thinking about not being able to have it."
"You're not worried after all that Eir told us?"
"Of course I'm worried, but not inordinately so." The strained look on his face led her to elaborate. "But Loki, I'd be worried anyway. I'm a mother now and that's slightly terrifying. It's also a lot of good that's overriding the worst of the doubt, so I figure I'm doing all right."
She pulled him down beside her, worried that he looked completely overwhelmed. "Tell me what's going on in your head, Loki."
"I've put you in danger and I never even anticipated it. I should have consulted the healers before we ever married-"
"So you would have cut me out of your plans, because I'm going to have an uncomfortable pregnancy?" Her tone wasn't as sympathetic as he'd like. Point of fact, she sounded angry.
"No… it's just… you're taking a risk that neither of us even knew about."
"Yes, I am. Both of us will do that from time to time. That's the basic premise of life. You can't know all the variables all the time, Loki." She sighed and looked down at her hands, harshness gone from her words. "I need you to be at least a little happy about this."
"I am!" The speed with which he answered took her aback. "I don't understand it, but it's as you said. There is fear and a host of other unpleasant things, but there's delight mixed in too. I don't know that I've ever felt quite this way."
"So you're all right about all this?"
"Yes, little one. I'm sorry to have given you even the tiniest doubt about that."
"So do you think the whole palace knows already?"
"Probably. We weren't secret about our visit with Eir and although some of the courtiers are inordinately stupid, others will piece together the facts and make their assumptions."
"I'd like to wait until I'm further along before we make any official announcements though."
"Whatever you wish, little one." He put an arm around her and drew her closer. "I wasn't sure how long the appointment would last, so I cleared my schedule for the whole day. Do you mind if I stay with you or would you prefer to be alone now?"
She could tell he was trying hard to be nonchalant with his question, not wanting to sway her either way. It was charming. "It'll be nice to have some time together."
"Excellent! Now which did you want first? Nap or luncheon?"
"Food!"
"I will see to it immediately. I will not have you hungry on my watch."
He rose to attend to his task, but she beckoned him to lean down so she could give him a sweet kiss. "Thank you, husband."