"It's necrophilia, Kurt!"

"I beg to differ." Kurt protested, glaring at his boyfriend. "Yes, Edward is dead, but he's still technically alive, as a vampire."

Blaine stared at him incredulously. "You can't be serious. Kurt, you're smarter than this! Vampires are dead!"

"But Edward didn't ever die! Carlisle injected the venom as he was dying – there was no actual death!"

Blaine threw up his hands. "Ugh, I don't even care…I just hate the fact that they had sex!"

"More Twilight complaints?" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"He can't get a boner!" Blaine exclaimed awkwardly loudly.

Thankfully they were only in Kurt's room, but Burt and Carole were downstairs, and Kurt wasn't quite sure how much they could hear.

"It's fantasy, Blaine."

"That's no excuse!" Blaine retorted. "Just because its fantasy doesn't mean it can be unrealistic!"

"Oh yeah?" Kurt countered. "What's unrealistic in terms of fantasy then?"

"Writers are supposed to immerse us into their world – to believe that this place might actually exist!" Blaine grinned enthusiastically. It was quite obvious he'd had this argument before. "There's no realism in Twilight – especially where Edward and Bella are concerned!"

"How so?" Kurt snapped.

"Edward suddenly infatuated with Bella? Bella taking a while to catch on? Then them becoming soul-mates and being in love forever…" Blaine trailed off.

Kurt paused, his lips curving into a smile as he went over what Blaine just said, and realised he basically retold their own story. "You don't think it can happen in real life?"

"No, I don't. It's complete-oh." Blaine paused.

"Yeah." Kurt grinned triumphantly.

Blaine shook his head, trying to get back on track. "What I mean, is that just because Edward resembles Adonis, and Bella's blood smells really good, doesn't mean that they should be together forever!"

Kurt scowled. "Any other complaints?"

Blaine grumbled for a bit, before frowning. "It's also sexist."

"Oh, right." Kurt finally snapped. "Like Disney is any more realistic than Twilight – because animals can totally speak, and they can lead adventures and humans are all stupid and without absent parents or being a princess, you can't amount to anything!"

Blaine stared at Kurt, his mouth parted in shock, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry." Kurt said immediately, very quietly. "I…I went too far…"

Blaine nodded feebly, and Kurt pulled him into his arms, rubbing his back softly.

"Sorry." He apologised again, and Blaine sighed, shaking his head.

"No, I'm sorry…I'm just…very passionate about hating Twilight."

Kurt nodded and gave him a small kiss, and they were silent for a few minutes.

"Kurt…you need to make me a promise."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"No matter what happens – even if I turn into a vampire – you're not to have sex with me."

"What?" Kurt practically shrieked.

"I just…I don't like necrophilia…"

A/N: I don't want to get in a Twilight related battle, but still. See you in 7 hours.