Erna tried desperately to find a comfortable position. Although it was relatively early in the pregnancy, she already felt bulky and awkward every time she tried to settle into a seated position. Eventually, she gave up and climbed into bed, arranging the numerous pillows so that her back was supported.

"I wish I could ask you about these kinds of things, you know." She spoke to the empty room in a familiar tone. "The healers are wonderful, but it's so impersonal with them. And I'd love some insight into him. I know-"

"Who are you talking to?" Loki strode into the room, a look of confusion on his face as he began to remove his court clothes.

"I don't want a quarrel, Loki," she said softly. She was far too tired to engage in a war of words at this hour.

"Quarrel?"

"You've been in talks with the Vanir all day and late into the evening and that usually leaves you a bit cross."

The crease of concentration between his eyes softened and he approached her bedside with an expression of contrition. "If I've ever taken it out on you, I apologize." He took her hand and pressed a chaste kiss to it with a bow and a flourish that made her giggle. "That's more like it. You won't tell me who you were speaking to?"

"I don't know if it will make you angry or not."

"I will do my best to keep any bad feelings in check."

"I speak to your mother sometimes."

"My mother?"

"After hearing so much about her from you and Thor and Jane and the servants, I feel almost like I knew her. And now is a time I wish I had a mother to talk to, so I talk to her."

He nudged her over and took a seat on the edge of the bed, still holding her hand in his. "I wish I could talk to her too. You never knew yours."

"No. Apparently motherhood wasn't for her. I have no memories of her, so I kind of borrowed yours. Just to have a mother to talk to. If I've upset you, I'm sorry."

"You haven't upset me, Erna. Sometimes you worry far too much about me and not enough about yourself. If you speak to her again, call her Mother. She would like that." He peered at her searchingly, expression unreadable. "She would have liked you too. I'm sure of it."

"That's probably the best compliment you've ever paid me." That left him uncharacteristically at a loss for words. He stood and resumed removing his ceremonial garb. "Do you need any help?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "No, little one. You stay comfortable where you are."

"Loki?" Emboldened by his reaction to her chats with Frigga, she decided to ask a question that had been nagging at her.

"Hmm?"

"Would you be more comfortable if... I mean would it be easier for you if you didn't have to maintain your illusion all the time?"

He froze in place, cloak only half unfastened. "We've discussed this before. I don't want to frighten you, Erna."

"Why would that frighten me? I've seen frost giants before. I understand why you keep up the glamor at court, lest you remind the Asgardians they're ruled by a son of Jotunheim, but there's no need to expend extra energy with me." She took a steadying breath and sat up straighter. "I am your wife. There's no need to pretend on my account."

"You've never seen it." The sad tone made her heart ache a bit.

"No, I haven't. It won't bother me, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'd rather not see the look of revulsion on your face."

"You won't. I'm not some shallow, vapid girl. I am your wife," she repeated. "You should be able to be yourself around me of all people."

"You say that without having actually seen how repulsive I truly am."

"Would you think your child repulsive if she takes after you?"

"Of course not!" He paused, taking in her words. "She?"

"I have a feeling it's a girl. I don't know why, I just do. And there's a good chance she'll look like her father and I want you to make peace with that." He stared at her in shock, as if she'd just divulged a painful secret. "You're not a monster, Loki," she whispered softly.

"You don't know everything."

"And neither do you!" She looked down at her hands and took a deep breath. "I never told you about my snow elf."

She let the statement hang in the air between them before continuing. The old familiar ache intensified at the thought of telling him, but it was time he knew. "I was very young, very naive, and very in love. She was an alchemist's apprentice and I wanted nothing more in the world than to marry her. She had this dusky blue skin, so different than my own, but so very beautiful. I thought she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen."

"What happened?"

"My father found out."

"And he forbade you from seeing her again?"

"No, it was so much worse than that." She steeled herself for the next part. Even after years it still pained her to think about it, let alone speak about. "He bought her off. He offered her a minor title and a parcel of land far in the north and she took it without even saying goodbye. Nothing has ever hurt me that much."

"I'm so sorry, Erna."

"I didn't tell you this for your pity. I just want you to know that I'm not put off by... otherness." He didn't reply, so she continued in a lighter tone. "I won't pressure you, but I just wanted to make you the offer and give you a reason to trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that I... I can't show that to you. I don't even like to acknowledge that side of me."

He didn't speak again until he'd slipped into bed beside her. "I don't think she'll look anything like a frost giant. We conceived when I was in this form."

"Would it be that horrible if she did?"

"Not horrible, but I'd have to cloak her in an illusion. It wouldn't be safe for her otherwise."

"I'm sorry you're not able to show the people your true self. They're stupid if they didn't see that you're the same person, whatever your skin may look like."

He tucked her in beside him and placed a hand on her stomach. "It's a harsh lesson and one I hope she doesn't have to learn so young. But I dohope she's as kind and wise as her mother." He extinguished the bedside lamp and they were left in the weak light of the dying fire.

"But hopefully without her mother's tempestuous nature?"

"I'd be more than happy with a little carbon copy of you, temper and all."

She felt his lips brush across the back of her neck and it sent a hot jolt of desire down her spine. When he fell back into position without further contact, she sighed inwardly. He hadn't ventured beyond kissing her since they'd confirmed the pregnancy and it was starting to frustrate her. She knew the pregnant form wasn't to every man's liking, but she'd secretly hoped Loki wouldn't be one of them. And then when he demonstrated his ability to turn off his desire for her like the twist of a tap, it hurt more than she'd expected.

"Are you upset our first is a girl?" This was another fear, but one she didn't stop herself from voicing.

"It matters not to me. I'm more marveling at the fact that you're so sure it's female."

"Call it mother's intuit-" her words were stopped by a fierce yawn.

"Rest now, little elf. If our child is anything like you, she'll be firebrand and we won't get a decent night's sleep once she comes."