Chapter 3: How come your arms are not around me?
"and I don't understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall"
There is something about him.
Maybe it's the sadness in his eyes that he hides so well.
But sometimes, when he is not careful, it slips out and his eyes whispers of pain and sorrow.
Or maybe it's the way he manages to change the atmosphere in a room just by entering it.
Or maybe it's the way he hides himself away from the world.
Hiding all those parts that might make him seem vulnerable.
She doesn't know.
But there's something there.
She has found herself wondering about him in ways she never did before.
Maybe it started when he came to her in the bar.
Maybe it has always been there.
She doesn't know.
The truth is she is scared to find out.
She does not admit this, of course.
So she chalks it up to professional curiosity.
Nothing else.
He is her boss after all.
And you're allowed to wonder about your boss.
She had never meant to touch him that night.
She knew that she crossed some kind of line.
But it felt right.
When she saw him again she was scared that he would say something.
But he didn't.
He acted like nothing had happened.
And nothing had.
She keeps reminding herself of that.
She had been upset.
He had comfort her.
He had been there for her.
But still when he had touched her she had felt something.
Maybe it was silly.
She had never been that kind of person that read too much into situations.
She was a detective after all.
But still she couldn't ignore that feeling, deep inside of her, when he touched her that night.
The feel of his hand against hers.
The sense of peace it brought her.
Later when they were standing so close, she wanted to be closer to him.
She had wanted to touch him.
To feel that peace once again.
So she had slipped her hand into his.
But as she touched him again, something else ignited inside of her.
A fire.
It shot through her like a wave and she almost recoiled in that moment.
But she just stood there holding his hand and let the fire engulf her.
Now, a week later, the feeling of his hand in hers is still branded upon her skin.
The sensation is powerful.
Nothing she has ever experienced before.
So she does what she does best: she ignores it.
She denies it.
He comes and goes.
They talk about cases.
But she finds herself searching his eyes for something, anything to make herself believe that what she felt when they touched was real.
But she finds nothing.
She feels silly then.
Ashamed, even.
So she analyses the situation and comes up with a reasonable conclusion: it was a moment of weakness.
Nothing else.
And it would not happen again.
But as she goes on a date with a handsome lawyer one week later she finds herself searching for that fire she had felt when she touched Gibbs.
As this man, this perfect man, kisses her that night, she feels nothing.
The need to calm her screaming head and heart wins the battle that night so she takes this man to her bed and as he enters her she prays for his touch to ignite something inside of her.
But she finds nothing.
As she wakes alone the morning after she feels ashamed.
Her sheets is stained with a strange mans scent.
She strips the bed and washes her body to remove his scent from her.
When she enters the elevator that morning at work Gibbs is standing there.
She finds her heart beating faster as he says:
"Good morning."
She smiles at him and says:
"Good morning."
The doors of the elevator closes.
They stand there as the elevator begin its climb upwards.
She finds herself wanting to bridge the gap between them.
She wants to touch him.
The need is strong in her.
It scares her.
His blue eyes meet hers and he says:
"I'm glad you're feeling better."
"I am. Thank you."
They stand there, looking into each other's eyes.
Each of them searching for something they fear naming.
The sound of the elevator reaching its destination breaks their connection.
He smiles a small smile as he walks out of the elevator.
In that moment she knows the truth.
It screams in her ears so loud.
The truth that she is slowly but surely losing a big part of herself to this enigma of a man.
She should be scared.
The best would be to ignore it.
But she doesn't.
And she knows as she follows him out of the elevator that she is falling and falling hard.
End 3/?