Chapter 7: What are you willing to lose
"there's nothing I'd like
better than to fall
but I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose
I have nothing to give
We have so much to lose..."
He brought fire to her once again.
His lips invaded her, tempting her to open up to him.
So she did.
His tongue found its way inside and brought with it a wave of emotions.
She burned.
She melted.
She leaned closer, not able to get close enough.
She had never experienced anything like this.
A fire that shot through her like a wave.
She should move away from him.
Stop this.
He would be the end of her.
She knew that.
Still she reached for more.
She wanted the fire to consume her.
He broke away first.
His eyes were dark as they met hers.
He just stood there looking at her.
"Kate?"
Matthew was standing in the doorway.
She turned towards him.
She felt so ashamed as she stood there.
So weak.
His eyes were dark as their met hers.
She saw pain there.
It flickered like a light.
She felt sick.
He didn't deserve this.
Her voice was barely a whisper as she said:
"Matthew."
"Are you ready to go?"
He just stood there, in the doorway, looking at her with those eyes.
He loved her.
He had been there for her.
He was the man who had shared her bed.
Who she had let into her life.
He was perfect for her.
Her lips bore the taste of another.
And her heart screamed for another.
She looked back at Gibbs.
He hadn't moved.
He just stood there.
With those blue eyes piercing into her.
She wanted him to say something.
Anything.
Make her stay.
But he remained there.
Silent.
She wanted to beg him then.
To reassure her that the thing between them was real.
That she could trust her heart.
But she wasn't the kind of person who would beg.
So she stood there between two very different men.
Wishing for a sign for the right path to take.
But things are never easy.
The truth was that she was scared.
Fear seeped into her heart and into her veins as she looked at Gibbs.
Fear that if she took that path towards him it would eventually consume her.
He had the power to really hurt her.
She knew that.
She felt it.
She would drown in this man.
And lose everything.
It scared her more than anything else.
So it was fear that made her take that step towards Matthew.
One single step, marking her decision.
She saw something happened then, in the eyes of the man she had just kissed.
It was just a spark.
Then it was gone.
But she had caught it.
Pain.
For a single second, his eyes whispered the truth.
She almost faltered.
She almost turned back.
But she couldn't.
The risk was too much for her to take.
She wasn't brave.
Not like that.
So she moved towards Matthew and said:
"Let's go home."
Then she walked away.
Leaving the man who possessed such a big part of her heart behind.