A/N: Guys, I am so damn sorry for the huge delay! What happened was that 1) I made two trips (now I'm back home) and 2) I've been internetless for quite a while (it's back on now and hopefully it will stay this way!). Anyways, here's chapter 9. I hope you're still with me here and I hope you like this one!
PS.: There's a bit of case content on this chapter.
Chapter 9
A few quick and short phone calls later, and Newlands accounts were frozen - not that there had been any activity on them since a couple of days previous to the trial. Casey once again found herself confronted with the perspective of having free time alone in her office, but this time it didn't feel comforting or soothing to be shielded from the world or from work, it felt plainly despairing. Sure, now that their only suspect had fled and missed trial things would go much easier - that is, if he was found before committing another crime, in this state or in another (but Casey prefered to pretend this possibility didn't exist) - but she was still struck with a feeling of vagueness, of hollow, as if some important piece of the puzzle was missing, although she wasn't able to pinpoint what it could be.
She lightly massaged her right temple while leaning on her work desk and wondering if what troubled her was the thought of those little girls and their stolen childhoods, something no judge, no trial or justice could ever give back to them. That was the problem of dealing with living victims, she reflected, even though it was her job to preach justice and encourage them to face their attacker (for she had read enough on the matter, desperately and vainly wishing textbook facts resembled reality if only in a bit), it would never be sufficient, it still required them to relive their traumatic experiences over and over again - first with the detectives, then at the hospital, followed by Casey herself, then a judge, jury, defence attorney, random people who went to Court, sometimes the media, and, worst of all, their attacker. And there was still the chance of two simple words crushing their hopes: "not guilty". This was solely the part she would have contact with, she thought with a deep sigh as her eyes began watering, they would still have to live their entire lives with the knowledge that their bodies had been violated, that another human being was able to walk to them and steal their dignity in one brutal, coward act. "Why the hell am I thinking about all this now?".
Choosing rationality over emotion, she decided those thoughts weren't worth occupying her mind with, at least not on the present moment. Benson, Stabler and the other detectives were doing everything in their power to find Newlands and despite not knowing them for a long time she trusted their abilities and their passion, and she knew they would find the guy, sooner or later. After ruminating on that idea for a few instants, as if to convince herself it was indeed plausible, she allowed her body to do the talking, and with sleek motions grabbed her coat and bag, walking outside of the office.
Not long later Casey Novak found herself on her usual chinese restaurant, and although familiar with the food, she felt like a complete outsider to the whole environment. That's the issue with the 21st century, she reflected while slowly stirring a cup of spicy flavoured tea she had accepted more out of politeness than out of desire for drinking tea, we order so much delivery food we no longer know where it came from, we no longer enjoy such mundane pleasures like casually being offered an exotic looking cup of tea from a very friendly looking chinese old lady. The warmness that emanated from the tea was strangely soothing and the mix of different scents that invaded her nostrils seemed to provide her entire body with a relaxing, almost therapeutic experience. Her stomach growled once again, this time louder and more desperately, making her promptly turn her head down to her wristwatch, which indicated that her fasting had already extended for over 8 hours. Luckily, her lunch arrived right before she started feeling sick and after replying a soft "Thank you", she began to savour the meal before her, carefully clutching onto her chopsticks, making sure not to embarrass herself in a place where so many chinese people were eating their lunches.
She needed no time to breathe, and rapidly devoured the whole plate of chow mein, pausing after it to open the fortune cookie that was given alongside the dish. "New experiences with new people will change your life, but you must value them". Before she could process the fortune she had just read her cellphone started ringing loudly, and with an agile flip she answered the call.
"Novak".
"A.D.A. Novak, this is Captain Cragen. We need a search warrant for the apartment of a Peter Nestler", his voice sounded agitated, and she realized this was the first time she heard the Captain sounding anything but completely composed and unaffected.
"Peter Nestler? Who is he?", she asked, jumping off her seat and throwing out some dollar bills on top of the table, right besides a packet of honey - the mere vision of it causing her a slight feeling of nausea.
"He's the real honey rapist. Newlands is dead and another girl has been kidnapped, a honey stirrer found at the playground where she was snatched", he explained.
"But you're sure Newlands didn't take her before dying? Who killed him? And how did you find this guy Nestler?", Cragen could hear the accelerated heeled footsteps as the woman pantingly inquired him.
"Newlands was found dead in his apartment, a hole on the back of his head. Dr. Warner found a tube inside his arm, with blood in it. It was Nestler's blood", Cragen slowly tried to make himself clear.
"A tube with blood inside his arm", she repeated incredulously, "Wait up", he now heard the sound of a car engine being turned on and then soft traffic flowing, "So Newlands did kill Brianna, and the blood was to beat the paternity test", she affirmed, continuing after the captain assented with a muttered sound, "And Nestler's DNA is the one who matched Molly Stratton's rape kit", she paused before concluding with a darker tone, "And now he's kidnapped a girl. Possibly already raped her".
"We don't know that", he quickly remarked.
"Yeah, we don't", she hopelessly said. "Where are Benson and Stabler now?".
"Gathering with a SWAT team, on their way to Nestler's apartment", the captain answered, before making a point to reaffirm the reason why he had called her, "And that's why we need the warrant".
"10 minutes", Casey simply replied, "I'll personally hand it to the detectives".
The call was turned off before Cragen could assure her the warrant delivery wasn't necessary.
"He's definitely our guy. Sick freak", Elliot declared, voice filled with disgust as his eyes scanned through the perfectly lined bottles of honey on the kitchen's shelf.
"Any sign of Courtney Jones?", Casey eagerly asked.
Noticing her presence, he sighed harshly before talking. "What are you doing here?", he annoyingly questioned.
"Search warrant", she answered in an ironic questioning tone. Although feeling slightly hurt by his choice of words, she just hoped he wouldn't insist on the topic of her presence there, she definitely wasn't in the mood for explaining herself - not to mention this was hardly the appropriate time - especially not to Elliot Stabler.
"No, really, you here to supervise us?", he snarked, impatiently turning his attention to something else, in a childlike manner of ignoring her.
"I'm not here to make sure you can do it", she sighed softly, "I'm here to see if I can". Her tone was lower, and at the end of the sentence it lowered even more, resembling a whisper, sounding as if she had just confessed something - which she had. There, she had admitted the truth. Fortunately, Elliot didn't seem to focus on her words, so her confession remained private, as if the words had never seen the light of day.
"Kiddie porn. Closet's full -", Olivia interrupted herself when she noticed her partner motioning his thumb towards Casey, alerting Olivia about the A.D.A.'s presence. Her face was twisted in an irritated surprised expression, almost as if in disbelief that Casey was standing before her.
"That doesn't tell us where he is", she remarked.
Elliot uncomfortably scratched his nose and scrunched his face in displeasure, already anticipating Olivia's anger at the unexpected intruder. Irritatedly putting down the stash of child pornography down by a table, she walked towards the spot where Elliot and Casey stood.
"What is she doing here?", she asked her partner, as if Casey wasn't standing less than five feet away from her. Both detectives stared at her, expecting a better explanation for her intrusion but actually just wanting her to find her way outside the door she had crossed on her way in.
Unable to utter any words, she rapidly deviated her emerald eyes from the detectives' piercing gaze, focusing her stare on a pack of equipments that laid on the floor, inside a small closet.
"He's a fisherman", she affirmed with a frown, "Plugs, poppers, reels loaded with 50-pound test", she kneeled down closer to the tools and began analyzing it with her long fingers, "It's rust. He fishes salt water", Casey concluded, abruptly turning her head towards Elliot and Olivia.
"He's got a boat", Olivia confirmed from across the room where she stood holding a framed picture, "Honey Do. 'Peter Nestler on his boat, the Honey Do, caught a 40-pound striper'".
"Where?", Elliot asked as Casey now stood by his side, her attentive eyes concentrated on Olivia.
"City Island. Looks like he's got a slip there".
They managed to arrive at City Island on half the time it usually took to complete the full distance from where they had began the ride. With the police siren blasting out, Casey's heartbeat followed the pace and her mind reeled with expectation, stomach slightly upturned in a nausea similar to sea sickness. She desperately watched Olivia's face through the side view mirror, hoping that the detective's face would mirror her own terror, but instead all she saw was pursed lips and a heavy frown, brown eyes squinted with a look that resembled both disgust and determination, with only a faint hint of fear. Casey wondered if that fear was merely a projection of her own or if indeed detective Olivia Benson felt fear in those situations - there must have been so many like this during her daily work - if she felt fear now, like Casey did.
Olivia radioed for the backup team behind them to form position as they arrived, assuring that there was no possible escape route for Nestler, also informing them that a diver's team should be on stand by in case any worse scenarios were to occur. She took a deep breath and got out of the car even before it had completely stopped moving. She could feel the pounding of her heart banging over her eardrums and a slow burning feeling by the pit of her stomach started to bother her, but all her brain could process was Nestler's face, the victim's face and finding either one of them, saving that little girl.
Elliot sided with Olivia, and Casey strolled behind, trying to accompany them.
"There's his boat". Casey's comment caused the two detectives to abruptly turn towards her, staring at her as if remembering her presence had suddenly brought back the irritation they had forgotten they felt.
"You stay here", Olivia ordered her, pointing a finger to her chest.
Casey watched Elliot and Olivia descend the stairs, still feeling angry and hurt by being so bluntly put aside. There wasn't a place for her there, at least that's what they seemed to believe. She ignored all the feelings of inadequacy, focusing her eyes on that boat, hoping that girl was alive and well, and that the bastard who had stolen so many childhoods would be finally brought to justice.
"Elliot. Halfway down", Olivia said in a whisper.
"Got him", Elliot confirmed, "Yo, Nestler".
Nestler turned back to them, his expression was like that of a deer in the headlights.
"Don't move", Elliot said in vain, for Nestler dropped his cooler and started running.
"Police!", Olivia shouted as she ran towards him.
He managed to push a couple of people away and run a few more steps before Elliot caught up with him and hit him on the back, causing him to fall onto the water.
"I'll take the boat", Olivia told her partner.
Elliot head dunked Nestler before bringing him back to the surface, holding him by the scalp.
"Where is she? The girl", he asked.
Casey observed Olivia's desperation as the detective searched around the boat, unable to find the girl. Elliot wasn't having any luck with Nestler either. Shiny emerald eyes abruptly focused on the cooler the perp had left behind before he ran, her mind rationalizing the idea that had occurred to her: it all made sense, he had just snatched the girl, needed to take her somewhere he could... he needed to take her somewhere he felt safe, and he couldn't risk being seen with her, and after all he was a fisherman, no one would suspect of a fisherman carrying a cooler. Everything went through her head in a fraction of seconds and before she had fully processed what felt completely palpable and logical, her hands were already opening the lid.
"Courtney", Casey exhaled, relieved.
Olivia turned back just in time to watch Casey remove Courtney from inside the box, completely appalled as the A.D.A. wrapped her arms around the girl and carefully lifted her up, watching the little breathless face that laid on her shoulder.
"Elliot!", she shouted to her partner, "Elliot, Casey's got her, she was in the cooler. Come on", she held his shoulder back, urging him to stop drowning Nestler, before running towards where Casey stood.
"Is she okay?", Olivia asked Casey.
"She's alive", was all she managed to elaborate.
Olivia touched Courtney's face, checking the girl's breathing pace before feeling her own panting breath mix up with Casey's. Taking a few step backs she watched Casey's now even paler face, trying to read the woman's expression, the sheer realization dawning that she had been much too hard on her, much too dismissive and much too afraid of getting closer to her, and that by doing so she had build up a barrier in between her and a person that had turned out to be a much more valuable asset to that investigation than she had expected or foreseen. A person that could be much more valuable, given the chance to know better.
Casey felt dizzy, and Olivia's gaze fixated upon her only helped to weaken her legs even more. She desperately wished the detective would just say something, give her directions or instructions, or just say something supportive, she felt completely stranded at sea, carrying a girl who had just been kidnapped by a serial rapist and kept in a cooler for god knows how much time. This wasn't her job, she hadn't signed up for that - in fact, she had done all she could to not sign up for that - and yet this was how events had unfolded. She stood at City Island, holding a victim she had just rescued while Olivia Benson's caring brown eyes now turned a shade lighter, reflecting a touch of honey that suddenly didn't seem so despicable and disgusting. She didn't know what was behind that look, but she could almost swear she felt a hint of appreciation and compassion, with a light touch of guilt. But maybe she was imagining things.
They both silently nodded to each other, in mutual understanding.
"Okay", Olivia whispered.
Casey turned away carrying Courtney, taking long, anxious steps.
Olivia sighed, relieved for the girl's safety and the closure of that rollercoaster of a case, exhaling too the shame she felt at herself for judging Casey Novak so harshly and for acting so rudely towards a person who definitely didn't deserve it.