No recognizable characters or plot points belong to me. This is strictly for my amusement (and maybe yours as well), I gain nothing from this. That is all.

Also, be aware...new story line/one-shot.

Text: Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.

Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis. - B

And I mean it when I text Alice this. The dude is fucking sex on legs and I want at it. He's well over six feet, broad shouldered with a trim waist, and sex-god bronze hair. Shut up and fuck me now.

Rarely, if ever, am I a withering flower and as such I walk straight up to him. He's with some friends, standing against the bar, but I don't care. I stand before the object of my lust and lean in.

"I like your face." I have to stand on my tippy toes to speak into his ear. I'm invading more of his space than I'd planned but it's loud in here and I'm determined.

He's taken aback but only momentarily. He leans down speaking into my ear in turn, "I've been looking at yours for the last twenty minutes…in a completely non-stalkerish way. I was just trying to find my 'in', you beat me to it."

He adds the last bit as an afterthought and his voice is dripping honey in my ear. I really wouldn't care if it was stalkerish.

"Is your dick as pretty as your face?"

His mouth forms the most beautiful "O" shape, a shape I'd like my mouth to make around his dick.

To his credit, dude takes my words in stride, "Well…I haven't heard any complaints."

"I imagine you wouldn't, looking like you do." I say, pulling my hair over one of my shoulders.

"Thanks?" He looks dubious.

"Definitely a compliment." And I mean it, because, dude is beautiful.

He smiles, tugging on a strand of my hair. "Okay then, thanks."

"I really want to see your dick."

He laughs and it's lovely, "Geez, wanna buy me a drink first?"

I watch as he runs his hands through his artfully tousled sex hair, "I didn't say I wanted to fuck you, though I feel it goes without saying that pretty much every girl in here wants to. I just want to look at it."

He smirks, "Let me buy you a drink then."

"Is it that good?" I return the smirk in kind.

His cheeks tinge just the slightest pink, "What're you drinking?"

"Tequila," I answer instantaneously.

He looks expectant, "…and?"

"Tequila."

"Jesus." He sits down on the stool in front of him with a huff.

"Is your dick a religious experience?" I sit as well, combing my fingers through my hair.

He smiles indulgently but it's pretty clear my joke has about run its course. Damn.

"I'm sorry, I'm Bella and I'm being rude."

Dude leans in, closer than is necessary and I like it. He takes my outstretched hand in his and I swear I feel a tingle. I hope every part of him gives me tingles.

"I'm Edward."

"Nice to meet you, Edward. Can I see your dick now? I'm kidding!"

His smile is so genuine and beautiful that it's almost hard to look at. And in that moment I know I'll be looking at his dick later tonight. And I know I will have absolutely zero problem with that.