No recognizable characters or plot points belong to me. This is strictly for my amusement (and maybe yours as well), I gain nothing from this. That is all.
Also, be aware...new story line/one-shot.
TEXT: "I'm like, not good at living."
Story line/One-shot: Bathtub
Last night was an awful mistake. Not like in the sense of I went out and had unprotected sex and now it hurts when I pee. No, definitely not that. Awful mistake as in I drank too much wine and fell asleep in the bath tub.
And my roommate, Rosalie, found me. She's now certain that I was trying to off myself. I know this because Alice, my best friend, texted and told me so. Apparently I'm on suicide watch and being scolded via text, which makes me wish it were a suicide attempt. That's awful, I shouldn't say things like that. Buuuuut, I could seriously do without my current conversation with Alice…
Wtf were you thinking Bella?! – A
That I like wine and baths? – B
Bella! Be serious! – A
I am. Seriously. I. Fell. Asleep. You know me, Allie. I'd never. – B
Wtf is wrong with you – A
I'm like, not good at living – B
If I weren't across the country, I'd come kill you myself for scaring me like this – A
Chill. Rose is a drama queen. You know this. – B
She called me crying Bella! – A
Yeah, well, she was drunk. – B
Yeah. Well. So were you. – A
Touché. Look, I promise I won't drink and bath anymore – B
This is like the time I found you sleeping in the shower. You were in there for like 4 hours. – A
Then this should come as no surprise. – B
Just be safe pls ok? – A
Deal. Now go get ravaged by your husband and leave me alone Allie – B
I really didn't want to interrupt Alice, especially not on her honeymoon and especially not like this. I feel awful, I really do. She and Jasper have only been gone for two days and already they're getting frantic calls from Rosalie. I mean, couldn't I have at least waited a few more days to cause undue panic? Apparently not. Then again, Rosalie really is a drama queen and she really was drunk. I love my roommate dearly but she really screwed the pooch on this one.
I sigh, standing and walk into the living room.
"Ooooo Rosalie! I'm the ghost of Bella here to haunt yoooooou" I snicker, dropping down next to her.
"You're a bitch, Bella!" She slaps my shoulder playfully.
"And you're a drama queen."
She rolls her eyes, "Well, yeah no shit, honey. But you were passed out in the tub Bella! Your head was barely above the water!"
"Rose! Was there any blood?"
"No."
"Was I breathing?"
"I couldn't tell! I didn't want to get close to your dead, lifeless body." She sighs exasperatedly. Like I should know this.
"Then what gave you the indication that I was anything but sleeping?!" I throw my hands up with a huff.
"I was drunk! Hello!" She jumps off the couch.
This sets me off into a belly laugh, "I know, Rosie. God, you're such a drama queen. Next time, try waking me up, yeah? Maybe throw something at my drunk ass?"
"Ugh! I hate you and Alice both. You bitches say almost the same things verbatim." She nudges my knee with her pretty, well maintained foot.
"Yeah, yeah. So, brunch for your hungover ass?"
"Duh. Go get dressed." She's already walking towards her room.
"Why, when I can go in this?" I throw this comment at her back. It's like an insult to Rose to say it, so I know I'm egging her on but it's too easy.
Her rebuttal doesn't disappoint, "You're going to die alone. Drowned in a bath, drunk off wine, Bella. Start putting in some effort."
I chuckle, stand and walk to my room. I'll put on some clothes but not because of her threats of dying alone but more so because the bitch won't be seen with me otherwise. Such a brat. But I love her anyways.
And, maybe, she might be a little right…a little effort wouldn't hurt.