No recognizable characters or plot points belong to me. This is strictly for my amusement (and maybe yours as well), I gain nothing from this. That is all.
Storyline: The Notebook
TEXT: What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Edward has been studying for mid-terms all week. He's also been working. I haven't seen my best friend in days. Well. I have but more like the side of his face smashed into books. All study, all the time. He hasn't even been burning with me. So, pretty much, things are a travesty. I'm definitely not overreacting. I snort to myself as I pack a bowl for one, because apparently that's my M.O. as of late. Also not me overreacting.
I should be studying too but…I'm not because I procrastinate like a motherfucker. Not Edward, he stays on it. Usually he doesn't hesitate to remind me how I'll regret my procrastination later but he hasn't. Because he's that balls deep in studying. He hasn't even tried to get into my pants and I don't really know what to make of it. It shouldn't be an issue but it's become the norm and as such I don't know how to deal without it.
Edward also isn't coming over tonight, or rather, he's not going out with the group tonight. Usually he likes to at least come watch me get ready. He claims he likes watching my neurosis in full swing while I pick apart my body and wardrobe. I'm pretty sure he likes it because he usually gets an eyeful of T&A during my mid-getting-ready melt down. He's such a peach like that.
You're missing my melt down – B
YOU'RE interrupting my studies. – E
I miss you – B
You've seen me all week – E
Yeah but not really. I miss you, Eddie. – B
Gross. – E
Edward plsssss – B
Grosser – E
Is that even a word? Aren't you like a learned scholar or something? You're going to fail. – B
Rude. – E
You're rude. – B
Your face is rude. – E
And I'm tired. – E
Edwaaaaaard! – B
Whining? And you're how old? – E
At least come over. I'll suck your dick if you do? – B
I'm going to bed – E
WHAT?! You're turning down fellatio?! – B
What kind of person says fellatio as proposition – E
Me. Clearly. – B
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention – B
Me. Clearly. – E
Fuck. Fine. I'll find someone else to fellate. Have fun. Sleeping (lame). – B
Ok. Have fun. Blowing some suh dude. Bye. – E
See you tomorrow, yeah? – B
Of course. Can't wait to hear about your newly acquired mouth herpes – E
Rub one out tonight thinking about it – B
That's hot. Now go away. I'm sleeping – E
Goodnight shithead. – B
Love you too. – E
I pull the dank cloud of bud into my lungs and hold it. I'm mostly joking about being so grumpy that he isn't joining us tonight and yet…I'm a little grumpy. I can't quite put my finger on why it bothers me that he isn't going out, which bothers me even more. We go out all the time, together and separately. So why am I so shitty faced about it this time? I shake off that line of thought quick, fast, and in a hurry. I exhale, watching the thick fog fill my bedroom.
I really should start studying for mid-terms. I should stay in and study. Maybe I should just go harass Edward and study with him.
I cringe at even the thought of studying. Gross and grosser. I push the thoughts of productivity aside along with my grumpy pants attitude about Edward. My mid-getting-ready melt down isn't going to have itself. I sigh, looking at the five outfits I have spread out on my bed and enjoy my newly acquired hazy high. Momentarily I wish Edward were here to tell me how pretty I am and weigh in on what I should wear.
I'm a strong independent woman, don't need no man.
I'm lying to myself. Ten minutes later I'm calling my second bestest of friends, Alice. She answers on the second ring. Edward probably warned her I'd be calling.
"Edward get tired of being friend zoned for all eternity?" That's how she greets me. The bitch.
"Fuck off! Come upstairs. Help me choose what to wear."
"He warned me you'd do this."
She sighs like I'm inconveniencing her but she lives for this shit. At least half the time she's here with Edward and I anyways helping me with wardrobe choices. At least when she isn't fucking her boyfriend six ways to Sunday. I hear Alice grabbing her keys and shutting the door. It is a godsend that we live in the same apartment building.
"I'm worthless without you, Al."
"I'm content with my sloppy seconds, Bell. No need to slob on my knob."
"The door is open. I love you." And with that I hang up and turn back to my bed.
I hear Alice enter and close the door behind her. I'm struck and thrown off kilter briefly before Hurricane Alice hits by my last coherent thought…
I really do miss Edward.
I don't even have a moment to ponder the thought before I'm swept away into the night.