Go Baby Grow

Chapter 61 – Misunderstandings

Wednesday, June 24

Oh shit, Ryder thought when he woke up snuggled tightly around Julie. Way to send mixed f#$#ing messages, Ryder. He slowly slid his arm out from under her grasp. In response, Julie made a sleepy noise and snuggled deeper into the blankets. Retrieving his arm from her side of the bed, Ryder shook his head and yelled at himself, Step the f #% away, Ryder. You don't deserve her. She's not your type – she's so far above your type that you don't even deserve to be her friend some days.

He fell onto his back and stared at the ceiling, wondering how he had ended up with his arm around his friend. Tell me I didn't come on to her while I was asleep… that would be so flippin' me. Stupid. If I could beat the crap out of myself, I would. When Julie mumbled with distress as she slept, Ryder glanced over at her with concern and curiosity. She's probably imagining the nightmare of being with me, he berated himself. She began to hyperventilate and gathered her brow toward the bridge of her nose and downward toward her chin. Her eyelids flickered rapidly and her head shook once or twice from side to side. What the hell? I really hope she's not dreaming about me. She's stressed.

With an audible gasp, Julie flinched and woke up with her arms wrapped around the front of her body protectively. "Woah…wow," she mumbled under her breath, momentarily unaware that she was not alone. She took a few deep breaths and could sense Ryder's presence. Glancing over, he lay facing her with a concerned expression.

"Please tell me you weren't dreaming about me, because you were flipping out big time," Ryder begged softly.

Rubbing her face with one hand, she shook her head, "No… family crap. You're safe."

"Why the hell was a dream about your family freaking you out? Was it one of those weird dreams where someone is purple and another person has a horse head and the sun is shining but it's dark orange instead of yellow?" Ryder inquired with curiosity.

"Is that what you dream about, Hunt? Your dreams are whack," Julie chuckled.

Backing up as quickly as possible, Ryder attempted to explain, "No… I've, you know, I've heard of stuff like that… like, on TV and bad movies."

"Uh huh," Julie grinned and nodded. She rubbed her face with both hands and exhaled loudly. "I have some really crazy family stuff unfolding right now. I think my brain was trying to process it," she shared.

"The wedding?" Ryder questioned.

"The wedding is nothing compared to the rest of it," Julie commented.

"Yeah… you're bummed about Sam not coming to the wedding, aren't you?" Ryder tried to empathize.

Julie turned on to her side so she was facing Ryder. After adjusting her pillows, she looked deeply into Ryder's eyes and frowned. "This is supposed to be a happy get-a-way before we leave for Annapolis. I don't want a dark cloud of gloom to rain out the fun," she commented. "My family's f #%ed up… that's the summary, but you already know that."

"This goes beyond normal, everyday wacky family stuff, though, doesn't it?" Ryder pressed. "But you know what? I don't care – I want to hear what's up. You're not going to ruin my beach getaway by telling me what's going on, JJ."

"It's such a mess…" she sighed. After a pause, she began speaking and did not stop for at least five full minutes. Ryder listened intently as Julie described Claire's unexpected pregnancy that forced her parents' marriage, her grandfathers and the power they abused, and Adam's longstanding love for Tessa that was compounded by shame about his sham of a marriage to Claire. She disclosed all the details and concluded with, "and as if all of that isn't enough, Dad told me that he and Tessa have a daughter. She's a year older than us and, of course, attends the Academy. Holy f# $."

"Woah…" Ryder finally commented. "JJ… no wonder you're having stressed out dreams. Your emotions must be all over the map."

"Pretty much. When they aren't conflicting or too intense, I'm numb and in shock," she responded. "I need to hide from the world."

"Or zone out and stare at the ocean while sipping a Ryder-made cocktail," he grinned.

From the hallway, James bellowed, "Hunt, put your pants on and get your ass out here. I'm running to bakery and you're my sidekick."

Ryder hollered back as he walked toward the door, "Put my pants on?! I wasn't the one moaning and groaning all night, Pal."

With a wry chuckle, James protested, "Those moans might've been my fault but Jana was the one expressing her delight."

"You're full of shit," Ryder laughed as he popped his head into the room, winked at Julie, and closed the door. Although she couldn't make out their back and forth smack, Julie laughed as she listened to the voices challenge one another on their way out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"What?" Olivia answered her phone assuming one of her siblings was calling her. She was in the process of leaving when her phone rang.

"Pardon me?" Owen's low, slow voice responded seriously.

"Hi Daddy," Olivia responded with forced cheer as if nothing was amiss.

"Olivia… where are you and what's going on?" Owen inquired sternly.

Olivia forced a soft, flirty chuckle and explained, "There's no milk, no cereal, and no oatmeal. I thought I'd run to the store so we had breakfast options. Everyone else was still asleep – I didn't want to wake you up."

Likely story, Owen grumbled internally as he scoured the kitchen and discovered that Olivia's story about milk, cereal, and oatmeal was accurate. "Where are you? I'll come meet you," Owen pressed.

"I'm less than a mile away, Dad. I'll be home in just a minute," Olivia reasoned.

"You're not a licensed driver, Olivia," Owen growled.

Olivia retorted, "But I know how to drive. I'm sitting in the SUV right now and was just about to start it when you called."

"Dammit, Olivia…" Owen expressed as he pressed his lips together.

"I'll see you in a sec," Olivia informed him before ending the call. She rolled her eyes, buckled her seatbelt, started the engine, and glanced carefully behind the rig before setting out for home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Are you ready, Shorty?" Nolan asked eagerly as he walked into the Master bathroom. He glanced in the mirror and fixed a few wayward hairs.

"Almost," Lissa giggled. "I've never seen someone so eager to eat brunch."

Wrapping his arms around his wife from behind and resting his chin on the top of her head, Nolan clarified, "I'm eager to spend time alone with my wife. The food is a bonus." He honed in on her eyes as they looked at each other in the mirror and grinned. Turning his head to the side, he leaned down and kissed her cheek before making his way to her ear and whispering how much he loved her.

Lissa grasped the brush on the counter, but found herself literally swept away in Nolan's arms. He picked her up and set her down just outside the bathroom doorway, pointing out, "You are already incredibly, phenomenally gorgeous. Let's go. It's a come-as-you-are brunch."

"Ha ha…" Lissa quipped as she grabbed her gargantuan purse and headed out of the room.

Since Becca was in Molly's room with all three girls, the couple snuck out the front door without a prolonged and tearful goodbye.

In Lissa's minivan, Nolan pulled out of the driveway and announced with a sly grin, "After brunch, I want to make a stop."

"Ok," Lissa shrugged. "Any place particular?"

"I decided to buy a new car and it's ready to pick up," he informed her happily.

Pulling her chin back, Lissa glanced over and commented with surprise, "Oh really?"

"The Jeep's kind of… juvenile… for a corporate executive, Babe. I figure a Tesla paints a better image," he reasoned, absolutely unaware that Lissa's surprise was related to not being part of the decision.

"That's a nice car, Nolan. I'll bet we could buy the duplex where I grew up for about the same price," she contended.

With a scoff, Nolan huffed kindly, "A significant down payment on it, maybe." He reached over and slid his forefinger under her chin, rubbing her skin back and forth. "You know that you never need to worry about money, Blondie, right?"

"Exactly how much money do we actually have, Nolan?" Lissa inquired.

Nolan glanced out of the corner of his eye at her, not providing a verbal response.

"Did you pay cash for the car?" Lissa wondered.

"Of course I did," he scoffed with disbelief. "And we have enough money and investments to last a lifetime."

"Even after all these years, I'm still uncomfortable with that mindset. I grew up eating Top Ramen and depending upon free school lunches," Lissa reminded him.

He pulled the car into a parking spot at the restaurant and turned off the engine. Before moving from his seat, Nolan glanced at his wife and assured her, "And you will never, ever need to worry about our family struggling like that." He unbuckled, walked around the van, and opened her door, urging with a smile, "Let's go eat."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

When Olivia returned and walked through the door between the garage and the house, she encountered two staring, firm, angry parents.

Pretending as if all was well, she held up a grocery bag and a gallon of milk, announcing cheerfully, "Breakfast!"

"Put the milk in the fridge, Olivia," Amelia ordered flatly. The teenaged redhead did as she was told, then walked to the cabinet where bowls were stored.

With folded arms, Owen and Amelia turned toward her. "That can wait," Owen insisted. "Let's go," he asserted as he pointed his head toward his office.

Appearing thoroughly confused, Olivia trotted behind her father with Amelia three steps behind her. She sat down in the Chair of Doom, as she and Ryder liked to call one of the side chairs, and moved her eyes from parent to parent.

Owen tightly pressed his lips together and loudly inhaled. He was about to blow. He began haltingly, "What…" He closed his eyes, then lowered one shoulder as his head leaned toward his daughter and his volume increased, "were you thinking?!"

"Umm… I was thinking we were out of a few things and that I could help out," Olivia responded with widened eyes, acting shocked by Owen's mood.

"Olivia," Amelia snapped. "You do not have a license; you are not even old enough for a license."

"Yeah… but I made it there and back just fine," Olivia pointed out. "The store isn't that far away, you guys."

"You didn't leave a note, we had no idea what was happening," Owen began to detail.

Olivia opened her mouth as she listened and quickly responded, "I was gone for about twenty minutes."

"Driving our car away from this house without permission is unacceptable, Olivia. You knew we wouldn't support your decision. I'm not convinced by your feigned shock," Amelia stressed.

Holding her forearms in front of her body with her hands flattened, Olivia protested, "Fine! I won't try to solve an easy problem when I see something that needs to be done around here. No problem. I'll only do what I'm ordered to do, ok? Do I need to ask before I use the bathroom or do I have at least a few rights?"

"Privileges," Owen corrected.

"Not having to ask to use the bathroom is a privilege?" Olivia challenged.

"We're not going to argue about minutiae, Olivia," Amelia stressed.

Olivia stood up, her fair skin reddening. She stated with tension in her voice, "I saw something needed to be done and took care of it. I was trying to show you guys that you could count on me to help out. Instead, you're yelling at me and all furious with me. I can't take this. According to you two, all I do is f #$ up around here."

"Language, Miss!" Owen hollered, at the end of his patience.

Leaving the room without permission, Olivia repeated the word loudly all the way to her bedroom.

"Don't," Amelia advised her husband when he began to follow their daughter. "Owen, don't. Let her go. Let's all go to our corners and catch our breath. We need to be smart about this."

"Smart?" he huffed. "Smart like her mouth?" He shook his head with disgust.

"Smart as in intelligent, Handsome," Amelia narrowed her eyes.

"I know what you meant," he admitted. He folded his arms and stared up at the ceiling. "What are we going to do with her?"

"I don't know," Amelia replied softly. "I really have no idea, but I do know that there's cereal and oatmeal in the kitchen," Amelia smirked and winked. "Whose turn is it to make breakfast?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

The last night at the beach was much like the first night. The foursome played drinking games, laughed together, and ate pizza for dinner. Ryder and Julie decided to take a long walk on the beach when James and Jana sequestered themselves in a bedroom.

At one point, Julie and Ryder were standing on wet sand and watching the moon reflect off the water. She leaned toward his side, and Ryder wrapped his arm around her assuming she was cold. Julie clarified his impression without words, reaching up and tracing his jawline as her lips approached his.

"JJ, no," Ryder stated tenderly.

With a playful grin, Julie lowered her chin and peeked out from the upper portion of her eyes, "What?"

"JJ, let's not do this again tonight," Ryder grimaced. "It only confuses everything."

"Or clarifies it," Julie proposed with a hesitant smile.

Shaking his head, Ryder looked at the sand and mumbled, "We're in for a long summer, JJ. It's going to be hell. We're going to need to encourage one another, not worry about whether we're together or not together."

"Oh," Julie muttered as she put her hands in her pockets and took a step back. "I guess I… thought…" her voice trailed off as she attempted to explain her impression of their relationship status.

"I care enough about you… about us… to not f $# this up, Julie. I don't want to make any decisions about a relationship when we're buzzed and when you have a thousand concerns weighing on you." Ryder paused, then added, "Do you know what I mean? I'm really going to need a friend this summer and you might too. But trying to figure out if or how we're a couple… the timing is not right. Not now."

Julie turned and stared toward the horizon. She could appreciate Ryder's analysis, even though she didn't want to consider any details beyond the present moment. What she really wanted to do was fall on the ground and sob. His distancing further complicated her emotional exhaustion, and she yearned to be alone. Instead, she was at least half a mile from the beach house in the dark on a deserted and windy beach.

"Do you… umm… should we keep walking? Do you want to go back to the house?" Ryder sputtered, attempting to read his friend.

"I want to be alone," Julie spoke lightly. Her words were barely audible.

"I'm not sure hanging out on the beach alone…" Ryder began.

Julie interrupted, "I'll walk ahead of you. Please, Ry… give me some space."

The long walk back to the beach house was silent. When Julie was ten to fifteen steps ahead of Ryder and paused, Ryder stopped walking and tried not to stare. When she sat on a huge piece of driftwood, Ryder sat on the sand. When she walked into the house, he was just stepping on the deck.

Once he was inside, Julie promised, "Give me five minutes. You can have the bed tonight. I'll sleep out here."

"I'll sleep out here, JJ," Ryder offered. "You take the bed."

"I'll be right back," she said, proceeding with her plan.

Ryder exhaled loudly and walked to the fridge for another beer. He wandered to an oversized chair and sat down. When Julie emerged from the bedroom with an armful of blankets, she pointed out softly, "I need that chair."

"Your body will be all out of whack if you try to sleep here," Ryder emphasized. "Really, take the bed."

"You're on my bed. The chair had a fold out bed in it," she said flatly. "Jana mentioned that to me earlier when I told her how you tried to fold yourself onto the couch last night."

With a small chuckle, Ryder stood and removed the seat cushion. He began to pull the bed out, but Julie swept his hand away and said, "I've got it."

"Oh…," Ryder sputtered, his response echoing in the silence. He walked to the bedroom with his head hanging low and left the door ajar. After stripping down to his boxers and brushing his teeth, Ryder slid into the bed and buried his face in a pillow. He berated himself as he cried about a girl.