Go Baby Grow
Chapter 62 – Hurting Hearts
Thursday, June 25
"Sleeping Beauty? Let's go to town," James hollered as he opened Ryder's bedroom door without knocking.
"No doughnuts this morning. I can't eat crap like that every day," Ryder announced as he stretched and sat up.
James gazed over his shoulder, then whispered, "No luck last night either, huh?"
"Is that all you think about?" Ryder laughed. "Never mind… that's all any of us think about."
"Exactly…so?" James scoffed.
"That's not our thing," Ryder responded as he shook his head.
James stepped inside the room and closed the door, "What?! That's always been your deal, Hunt. I don't get your hang up with that chick."
"I'm not hung up on her," Ryder sneered as he threw on a t-shirt and pair of sweats.
"If you're not after her, why are you always around her? It's not natural," James declared as he folded his arms and leaned against the wall.
Ryder huffed, "How many times, James? I've told you… she and I are friends. Really close friends."
"Why?" James asked, as if the idea of befriending a girl was among the most unusual realities he could imagine.
"Dude…" Ryder mumbled as he closed his eyes and shook his head. "Did you want to run to town or not?"
Before James could answer, Jana knocked on the door, "James?"
"Yup, in here," James responded. "Come in – Ryder's as decent as he ever gets."
Jana laughed and opened the door, "Keys? Julie and I are going to run to town."
Ryder reached over to the nightstand and threw the Jeep keys to Jana, "You know how to drive a stick, right?"
"A what?" Jana replied with confusion.
"No, she doesn't. She barely knows how to drive," James teased.
"I can drive," Julie called out.
Ryder shrugged in response and caught Jana's eye. "Works for me," he agreed.
"I thought we were going?" James disputed.
"We need to stop at another store, too," Jana stated. She turned and accompanied Julie to the Jeep.
James huffed, "You're seriously ok with her driving your brother's car?"
With a shrug, Ryder responded, "She knows what she's doing."
"But you don't," James suggested, glancing out of his friend through the corner of his eye. Unbeknownst to the guys, Julie slipped back inside to grab her purse.
"Huh? Because I let her drive Nolan's Jeep?" Ryder inquired as he ran his fingers through his bedhead.
"Because you're missing the opportunity of a lifetime to be with that intelligent, beautiful, funny girl who actually understands you like nobody else in the world, you idiot," James spouted. With his peripheral vision, he happened to see Julie heading back out the front door. He momentarily held his gaze as she grinned awkwardly and hurried to the Jeep.
Ryder flopped onto the bed, landing on his back while his feet remained on the floor. "I'd f #% it up," Ryder confessed with self-doubt.
"Get over yourself, Hunt. You're already screwing this one up by staying at arm's length," James advised as he walked out to the back deck.
Meanwhile, Julie pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store and turned off the engine. During the short five-minute drive, her voice shook anytime Jana attempted to make conversation. Before Jana hopped out, she leaned forward and turned her head toward Julie. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Julie mumbled as she fixed her eyes on the roof of the Jeep. "I'll wait here while you run in."
"You're embarrassed to buy tampons?" Jana teased.
With a slight laugh, Julie looked at her friend and replied, "No."
"What'd he do?" Jana asked with an insistent tone.
"Jana…" Julie groaned as she raised her hand to shoulder level.
"Fine, fine, fine," Jana responded as she jumped out of the Jeep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
In Seattle, Amelia was with Anna and Lucas at the pediatrician. As the two doctors discussed and celebrated Anna's behavior change, the pediatrician praised Amelia's motherly intuition about possible allergies. The two discussed the possibility of consulting a dietician, since eggs were prevalent in so many foods.
Sitting side-by-side attempting to be the one to hold Amelia's phone, Lucas and Anna tried not to argue aloud. Anna's hand yanked the phone in one direction, while Lucas nudged with a foot or elbow and attempted to move the phone the opposite way.
With a quiet roar, Anna whined, "It's my turn."
"Give it to me," Lucas insisted.
Amelia snapped her fingers while maintaining her focus on the conversation with the pediatrician. As her pregnancy progressed and the day of Ryder's departure approached, Amelia's patience level had fallen dramatically. Olivia's drama and Ria's upcoming surgery only added more layers of stress at the Lake House.
"I'll have my assistant call you with a referral," the pediatrician promised with a grin. He appreciated Amelia's plight.
Amelia grinned back and barely shook her head, "That'd be great."
With an enthusiastic tone, the pediatrician turned toward the kids and announced, "Well, Lucas, it's your turn, buddy. Can you hop up on the table for me?"
Lucas, in a kid-sized gown, complied but then curled his index finger to motion the doctor close. Whispering, he requested, "Can my sister leave? I want privacy." The doctor nodded at Lucas, turned around to wink at Amelia, and suggested to Anna, "Annabelle, how about if I take you out to sit with my assistant?"
He led her into the hallway and Amelia inquired, "What's that about, Luke?"
"I'm getting older now, Mom. I don't want my sisters in the exam room with me," he explained clearly.
"Do you want me to leave too?" she inquired, holding back from pointing out that he didn't seem to hesitate to run around naked in front of his family at home.
"You're a Mom. That's different," Lucas declared. "But maybe you could look away and not watch."
"Deal, Mr. Man," Amelia grinned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
By the time Jana and Julie returned from the store and the bakery, the guys were hard at work cleaning up the cabin.
"What are you doing?" Jana asked with the hint of a giggle when she walked inside.
James rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Hunt wants to get back to town asap."
"Oh," Jana responded with widened, surprised eyes. "I thought we weren't leaving until noonish." James opened one side of his mouth and peered upward. He couldn't explain the situation with Julie right behind his girlfriend.
"What's going on?" Julie asked as she trailed in behind Jana and sensed tension.
"The guys are cleaning," Jana announced with fake enthusiasm. "At the rate they're going, we'll be able to slide out of her within an hour."
"Great," Julie answered a bit too eagerly. "How can I help?"
Attempting to keep Julie far away from Ryder, who was cleaning the bathroom and bedroom, James suggested with a corny wink, "Sweep the deck? You know, swab the deck, sweep the deck…practice for the Navy."
True to Jana's prediction, all of the bags were stowed in the Jeep and everyone was ready to leave forty-five minutes later. Ryder and Julie had expertly avoided one another as everyone cleaned. As James and Jana locked the cabin, James wrapped his arm around his girlfriend and whispered in her ear, "Can you sit in back with Julie? It'll be better if they aren't up front together."
Unsure of the story behind the situation, Jana nodded and jumped in the back of the Jeep as if that had been the plan all along. Julie grabbed a couple pillows and leaned against the side of the Jeep. For the entire drive home, she pretended to be asleep and did her best to distract herself from obsessing over Ryder's weird boundary-setting the previous night. She couldn't stop blaming herself for his apparent rejection and wondered what she had done to repel him.
When Ryder and Julie pulled up to the Caldwell home at 1:00 p.m., Adam was in the front yard watering flowers and smoking a cigarette. He smiled and waved, happy to see Julie return.
Julie slid out of the passenger seat quickly and grabbed a duffel bag, whispering to Ryder, "I'll be right back for the rest of it."
"I got it, JJ," Ryder offered as Adam approached.
"What can I carry, Hunt?" Adam asked. Ryder shook Adam's hand and greeted him before handing him Julie's other bag. "Did you kids have fun?"
"It was a nice break, Sir," Ryder nodded.
"I've got it, Dad," Julie said as she tried to take the bag from Adam's hand.
Tightening his grip, Adam removed the cigarette from his mouth and asked, "What's up, Itsy Kit?"
"Tired… that's all," Julie lied as she tried to escape Ryder's presence.
Adam pulled Julie to his side and kissed his daughter's cheek. "Missed you, kitten."
"Thanks for the ride," she mumbled as she quickly glanced at Ryder. Before he could respond, Julie was halfway to the front door.
"Party's over, I guess, huh?" Adam ventured, attempting to make sense of the strange interaction.
"I suppose so, Sir," Ryder smirked. "Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, by the way. I hope it won't keep you from stopping by the goodbye party on Saturday."
"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Hunt. You bet we'll be there," Adam promised. "And you'll be by the base tomorrow for lunch? Julie mentioned to you that the base is having a small farewell gathering for her, didn't she?"
"She did. I'll certainly try my best," Ryder assured Adam, unsure if Julie still wanted him to attend.
Adam nodded as he patted Ryder's back. "I'm damn proud of you kids."
"Thanks, Sir," Ryder responded. Julie, from her bedroom window, peeked out and watched Ryder and her father interacting. When Ryder glanced up as he climbed into the Jeep, she quickly scooted to the side and hoped he didn't spot her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
Adam made his way upstairs with Julie's bag. He reached the closed door to her bedroom and knocked as he announced, "I have your other bag, Itsy."
"Thanks. You can leave it in the hall," Julie sniffled.
"Is everything ok?" Adam checked with hesitation, unsure what he'd do or say if she said she was upset.
"Yes, Sir," she answered.
"We're leaving for the airport at 4. I told Hannah not to arrive during rush hour, but…" Adam was going to conclude his sentence with the words 'you know she never listens.' Before he spoke them, he caught himself and realized that Julie wouldn't know that information.
"I'll be ready by 3:45," Julie assured him.
Adam exhaled slowly, distressed by Julie's mood. He took a drag of his cigarette as he encountered Tessa at the top of the stairs.
"Julie's home?" Tessa smiled as she took the cigarette from Adam's fingers and smashed it against a magazine she held.
"Hey…" Adam protested, his tone somewhere between protest and surprise.
"No smoking inside," Tessa challenged.
Shaking his head, Adam proceeded down the stairs mumbling, "I don't recall agreeing to that."
"You didn't," Tessa laughed. "I'm insisting."
Adam grumbled, which only encouraged her laughter. Then, in his brusque manner, Adam requested, "Talk to JJ, Tess. She seems upset."
After throwing away the cigarette butt and magazine, Tessa proceeded to Julie's bedroom and softly knocked, "Julie?"
"Yeah?" Julie responded vaguely.
Thinking that Julie's response was an invitation to enter, Tessa opened the door. Julie hurried to gather tissues strewn on her bed and wiped her eyes quickly.
"I'm sorry. I'm interrupting," Tessa apologized.
"No, Ma'am, really," Julie insisted as she blinked rapidly and repeatedly as she wiped her nose.
Tessa sat down on Julie's bed, about two feet away from Julie. She tilted her head toward one shoulder and noted, "I've been a teenage girl and I've raised one. I can tell you're upset."
Shaking her head, Julie denied Tessa's observation, "Really, Ma'am… I'm fine."
Smiling widely, Tessa emphasized, "No. More. 'Ma'am'."
"Right," Julie smirked without making eye contact. "Umm… Did you… did you need something?"
"I wanted to check on you. You only close your door if you're angry or sad," Tessa pointed out.
"Really?" Julie sought to confirm. Tessa nodded, then Julie studied her own hands and explained, "This week has been pretty heavy."
"I know," Tessa affirmed compassionately as she reached out, patted Julie's knee and then rubbed her thigh just above the knee.
Not used to Tessa's touch, Julie flinched then quickly apologized, "I'm sorry. That was rude."
"Stop. Apologizing. Julie," Tessa insisted. "These changes… we need to allow ourselves time to figure them all out. You're allowed to take time to discover a new normal."
"Thanks," Julie sniffled as she wiped fresh tears from her eyes. With her free hand, Julie reached out and grasped Tessa's hand tightly.
"Can I give you a hug?" Tessa requested. Julie nodded and scooted toward Tessa. Once Tessa's motherly arms wrapped around Julie's body, Julie relaxed into the embrace and began to sob. Softly, Tessa whispered, "If you want to talk, I'll listen. If you want to cry, let it flow." Honored to have been invited past Julie's initial resistance, Tessa treasured the moment. Silently, she assured Claire that she would always do her best to mother their beloved, shared daughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
The doctor returned and Lucas shared the conclusion of his conversation with Amelia. Waiting until Amelia studied a magazine, the physician delayed his exam. "How's your summer been?" he asked Lucas.
"Pretty good," Lucas reported as Amelia eavesdropped. "One of my sisters has been a real pill. We fight a lot. And my big brother is moving far away really soon."
"Ryder… he's moving to the Naval Academy, right?" the physician clarified as he intently listened to Lucas' heartbeat.
"Mmm Hmm, he's joining the Navy," Lucas boasted.
"And which sister is bugging you?" the doctor questioned as he tested reflexes.
"They all bug me sometimes. Except Ria, she doesn't bug anyone. But Olivia is a big pain," the patient reported.
"Really?" the doctor asked.
"Really," Amelia groaned without looking at the others.
"Bring her by," the pediatrician suggested. "Maybe she's being a fifteen-year-old, maybe something's off kilter. I'd be happy to check."
"Thanks," Amelia offered.
"Mom, how about if you listen to this strong, perfect heartbeat," the pediatrician stated with strange emphasis, hoping Amelia might catch the hint that he had a concern. "Does that work for you, Lucas? Can Mom take a listen?"
"Yeah," Lucas nodded as his lower legs hung down and swung back and forth.
Amelia studied the heartbeat, first in front and then in back. She glanced at the doctor and then listened to the front again. She nodded slightly, having heard a murmur.
"No shots today, pal," the pediatrician announced as he offered a high five. "How about if Mom and I step out and let you get dressed? We'll be back in a minute."
Leading Amelia toward his office, the pediatrician explained, "I'm not too concerned, but I wanted to point it out." The two sat down on a sofa and the doctor continued, "I'd like to refer him to a pediatric cardiologist for analysis and an EKG."
"The timing couldn't be worse," Amelia exhaled. "Ryder's leaving, Ria's having surgery, the baby's growing and kicking my bladder nonstop, and Olivia… she's fifteen and my mother's revenge."
With a soft chuckle, the pediatrician offered, "Remember that Annabelle has had a positive and seismic shift in her behavior, and Lucas checks out in almost every possible way. Really, Amelia, I don't want to worry you. Let's check out the murmur and go from there."
Amelia nodded without expression.
Handing Amelia a pre-printed paper entitled Pediatric Heart Murmurs, the pediatrician wrote down a phone number and suggested, "I highly recommend Dr. Metzger."
She took the paper and responded weakly, "I'll call him."
"It's not urgent – wait until after Ria's surgery. Try to see him within the next month or two," he proposed.
Amelia calculated what her reality would be in four to eight weeks. In early August, she hoped to attend Parents' Weekend at the Academy. She could hope for an appointment after she and Owen returned from Annapolis. Waitinng longer would bump up against the beginning of the kids' school year.
After thanking the doctor and excusing herself, Amelia gathered the kids and announced, "We're finished early. How about if we invite Daddy to ice cream?"
"Yes!" Lucas celebrated as he ran to the elevator and pressed the button.
Minutes later, the trio approached Owen's open office door and slipped their heads inside. "Busy?" Amelia inquired.
With a wide grin, Owen stood, "Never too busy for you!" Lucas followed Amelia into the office and Owen asked, "How was the appointment, Lucas?"
"Excellent," Lucas strutted past his dad and headed toward the toys in Owen's office that had been stowed there since the Littles were toddlers. Anna joined him after hugging her dad.
"Everything checked out, Mia?" Owen mumbled quietly when he studied the expression on Amelia's face.
"Luke is being referred to a peds cardio for a murmur," Amelia shared with a hint of anxiety.
With a casual shrug, Owen responded, "That's not unusual for kids. I'm sure everything will check out."
"Yeah," Amelia nodded with a small shrug. Changing the subject, she forced a grin and mentioned, "We were hoping you could join us for ice cream."
"I'd love that," Owen smiled as he hugged his wife. "Let me check in with the boss," he joked, referring to Patricia. When he returned to the office, Owen clapped his hands and announced the ice cream flavors of the day available in the cafeteria. He scooped Lucas up but Lucas informed him immediately that he did not want to be carried. Instead, Owen held Anna's hand on one side and Amelia's on the other. Lucas walked five to ten steps ahead all the way to the ice cream, pondering aloud which flavor he would select.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`;
Later that afternoon, when Ryder heard the garage door open, he bounded down the stairs. He was desperate to chat with Amelia about what had occurred with Julie. Running through the hall and into the garage, Ryder met her at the car door and offered, "Can I carry anything? How can I help?"
With a sideways grin, Amelia inquired, "Did Dr. Robbins put you up to this? There's nothing to carry in except me."
"I need to talk," Ryder mumbled so Lucas and Annabelle didn't overhear. His anxiety was obvious.
Curiosity filled Amelia as she slowly responded, "We can do that."
"Like right away… or at least really soon," Ryder emphasized as he followed Amelia inside.
"Kids, why don't you run over to Nolan's and let Ria know we're home," Amelia advised, adding, "And don't stay over there. Becca has her hands full today. Come right home." Lucas and Annabelle decided to race to Nolan's house and took off quickly.
Amelia looked at Ryder and informed him, "We have about half an hour until they're back. If you need more time, we can chat after dinner."
Leading his mom to the couch, Ryder began without delay. He recounted the first night, even including the details about the drinking. Explaining the make out session and the boundary he set, he painted the picture with obvious emotion. She listened without comment, maintaining eye contact and complete focus. He sighed heavily and recounted the second night. His eyes reddened, and he paused whenever the pooling tears threatened to fall. After concluding with a description of the awkward goodbye when he drove Julie to the Caldwell's, he stopped and stared at Amelia.
"Wow, Baby Bear," Amelia sputtered with slight hesitation.
"How do I fix this, Mom?" Ryder questioned with desperation.
Amelia pursed her lips and grasped Ryder's hand. "I suppose the answer depends on your goal," she advised.
"Huh?" Ryder inquired, simply wanting everything with Julie to return to the way it was three days prior.
"Is your hope to date her? To clarify that you're best friends? To discuss what happened?" Amelia illustrated. "What you say next depends upon what you're hoping will happen, Ry."
"Yeah," he sighed as he flopped onto the back of the couch and rested his head on top of the cushions while staring upward. He stretched his arms out in front of his body and set them along the back of the couch. "See, that's what I'd figure out with Julie the best friend."
"I know," Amelia empathized. She gazed down at her watch and pointed out, "The Littles will be home soon. Want to continue the conversation after dinner?"
With a slight nod, Ryder whispered, "Yeah." He stood up and held his hand toward Amelia to help her stand. She grasped it, stood, then hugged him. Pulling away quickly with a slight sniffle, Ryder nodded again and walked toward his bedroom. Amelia stood and listened to each step. She wiped away a stray tear when she heard Ryder's door close.
Within minutes, the Littles returned and Amelia caught up on all the latest news about her granddaughters. She checked in with Ria regarding her pain levels. As she assigned each Little a task related to dinner, Amelia mentally took stock of the remaining preparations. Owen strolled in with a paper bag in his hand and approached her from behind.
"Hello, my Beautiful Mia," he cooed as he embraced her. His hand slid down to her baby bump and rubbed it.
In response, Amelia hummed peacefully. She shared, "I'm not sure Ryder's coming down for dinner. Don't press it, ok?"
"Ok," he agreed reluctantly. Holding up the bag in his hand, he announced, "I brought some ice cream home for the other kids."
"Aww… that was thoughtful. You'll be their favorite daddy tonight," Amelia praised him.
Dinnertime dragged on without much laughter or conversation. Amelia thought about Ryder's predicament, Lucas' heart murmur, and all of the other family challenges swirling around. Owen observed each person, wondering about his or her day while simultaneously reliving a tough trauma that occurred earlier in the day. The Littles focused on eating; their volume was a result of the atmosphere. For her part, Olivia grumbled about being required to be present at the table. She reasoned that if Ryder could be excused, she should enjoy the same option. When her parents refused to respond to her protests, she took to speaking under her breath.
As predicted, Ryder remained upstairs until dinner was nearly over. He arrived, red-eyed and quiet, in time for ice cream. His well-timed presence surprised nobody. Although he had not slept, he had stretched out on his bed and buried his head into his pillow. The result was a minor case of bedhead with the hair nearest his forehead straying upward and in multiple directions.
"Hi, Ryder," Owen greeted his son with a gentle smile.
"Can we talk after dinner, Dad?" Ryder questioned with a hoarse voice.
Owen nodded and confirmed, "Absolutely."
Focusing on his plate, Ryder slowly nibbled on his dinner and swallowed a few meager spoonfuls of ice cream. After ensuring everyone was aware of their assigned post-dinner task, Owen stood up with the ice cream container and grabbed two spoons. He patted Ryder's shoulder and gently encouraged, "Let's go in my office."
Ria, deeply worried by Ryder's mood, watched as the shell of her beloved brother plodded along heavily. She questioned, "Mama, why is Ryder so sad?"