Go Baby Grow

Chapter 63 – What's Next?

Thursday, June 25

For over two hours, Tessa held Julie as Julie cried and sniffled. They shared brief conversation off and on, but mostly co-existed in silence. Seeking to comfort her step-daughter, Tessa ran her hand over Julie's hair and back repeatedly. Tessa had no idea about the reason or reasons for Julie's tears and did not feel the need to know. Her job, as far as Tessa was concerned, was to provide tender comfort and a loving presence. Her heart ached as Julie's solid, steady exterior cracked and let its angst emerge.

Downstairs, Adam alternated between various coping mechanisms. He breathed deeply and slowly, then attempted to focus on unrelated tasks. Next, he smoked on the back porch, then paced in the dining room as he listened to the ongoing sobs. Nothing alleviated the pain he felt that came from hearing Julie express deep suffering. Although he knew Tessa was upstairs handling the situation, he was uneasy about the sounds of misery and dolor. He wondered if Julie's distress was related to the wedding or to Hannah, then he pondered the possibility that Julie's tears fell for reasons unrelated to the family.

Intentionally aware of his tone, Adam called up the stairs using a gentle voice, "Tessa? 1530."

"I'll be right back," Tessa promised as she briefly intensified a hug with a squeeze. She blew down the stairs and whispered, "I know. Poor kid is really hurting."

"Do you know why?" Adam wondered aloud.

Tessa shook her head, "No. I haven't asked. She'll share when she's ready."

With concern, Adam nodded and ran his hands through his hair.

"Have you checked to see if Hannah's plane is on time?" Tessa inquired.

"I told her to sign my cell up for text alerts," he mentioned as he fretted about Julie and resumed pacing with his hands behind his neck.

"Like I said: have you checked to see if Hannah's plane is on time?" Tessa repeated with a knowing tone, fairly certain Hannah had neglected to fulfill Adam's request.

"Right," Adam acknowledged as he shook his head. He pulled his smartphone from his pocket, typed in the airline information into his browser, and reported, "Her connection was cancelled. Why the hell didn't she call with an update?"

"Because she's Hannah," Tessa smiled with resignation as she placed a hand on each of Adam's shoulders and kissed him.

"I should tell her she's walking here…" Adam grumbled as he walked to the kitchen. "Without a map."

"She'd be thrilled by the challenge and adventure," Tessa laughed.

Adam returned with two glasses of water. He set one down and handed the other to Tessa, who drank a third of the glass at once. "Damn kid," he expressed as he blew air toward his brow.

With a shrug, Tessa pointed out without an ounce of concern about Hannah, "It's on her. Let her deal with it. If she needs a ride, she'll call." She looked up the stairs and pointed out, "I told Julie I'd be right back."

"Here. I'm sure she's dehydrated," Adam opined as he handed Tessa the second glass.

Tessa paused and smiled lovingly, "You're precious."

"Whatever," Adam dismissed with a grumble.

When she reached the bedroom door, Tessa saw that Julie had changed into black slacks and was standing in her bra as she selected a shirt.

"Here's some water, Sweetheart," Tessa announced, not phased by Julie's appearance.

"Thanks," Julie hurriedly threw on a button down shirt and held it closed. She grasped the water and drank most of it.

With a chuckle, Tessa pointed out, "Do what you need to do to feel comfortable, Julie, but I have breasts. There's no need to cover yourself up on my account."

Julie's mouth morphed into a half-smile, "I guess you're right. I'm accustomed to living with Dad."

With a twinkle in her eye, Tessa pointed out, "Pretty soon, your dad will be smothered by a houseful of estrogen."

With a laugh, Julie turned and hung up the shirt she'd hurriedly placed on her body. She held up another selection and inquired, "This one?"

"I like that color on you," Tessa nodded when she saw the burgundy shirt.

Julie slipped her arms into the shirt and buttoned it. "Thanks," she responded to Tessa's comment. "I guess Dad's mad because we're running late," Julie added with a hint of anxiety.

"Hannah's connection was cancelled. If Adam's mad about anything, it's the fact that Hannah didn't call him with the new flight details," Tessa chuckled.

Julie's eyes widened and she confessed, "I don't even want to imagine his wrath if I did something like that."

With a hug and giggle, Tessa explained, "I'm fairly certain your dad holds you to such high expectations because your sister is a lost cause. Sorry about that."

Downstairs, Tessa's phone rang and Adam announced, "I'll grab it, Tess." He glanced at the caller ID and said, "It's Hannah."

Motioning her head toward the stairs, Tessa suggested, "Come listen to Mr. Hyde morph into Dr. Jekyll."

"Why do I get Daddy Hyde? No fair," Julie playfully grumbled.

"Hannah," Adam answered eagerly. After a moment of silence, he responded with tired disappointment, "I know. I went to confirm your arrival time and realized you neglected to sign up my phone for alerts."

After another pause, Adam chuckled. "Yes, right," he humored his second child. "You forgot. Of course, you did," he said with resignation.

Another pause arose as Hannah spoke, then Adam responded as if he was speaking to a child half Hannah's age, "What if something had happened on your new flight? We wouldn't have known."

"I know you didn't think of that. My point exactly, Snickerdoodle," Adam emphasized, impatient yet accepting.

"Who is that man?" Julie whispered. "He'd be hoarse by now if that was me." Tessa clicked her tongue and nodded.

"Six thirty, then. We'll be waiting in the area by the TSA station where you'll exit," Adam promised. "Are you dressed appropriately? I'd like to head directly to dinner."

After a pause for Hannah's response, Adam affirmed, "Service Khaki is appropriate, Hannah. No need to change, unless you're ashamed to be in the Navy." A glimpse of the Adam that Julie knew appeared as he spoke the final sentence.

The phone call concluded and Adam hollered up, "Let's leave at 1730, Tess. 58 minutes."

"Aye aye, Captain," she giggled.

"You're hilarious," he teased back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~;

At the Lake House on Thursday night, Ryder poured out his heart to his dad. Owen's heart ached as he listened to Ryder attempt to sort out his relationship with Julie.

"I love her… I mean, don't get all sentimental. I love her like a sister," Ryder explained before clarifying, "Actually, I don't love her like a sister… we've kissed a few times and the thought doesn't repulse me like it would if I mashed with Olivia." Ryder stopped to shudder and to make sure he was not about to be sick.

"In some ways, I kinda liked the kissing, but I always feel like there's a huge, tall, thick wall there. Nothing is going to go past kissing. Except hugs. Hugging is ok," he rambled. "But kissing and hugging, that's it. No skin to skin or, you know…"

Owen fixed his gaze on Ryder, recognizing the struggle of falling in love with a friend. As Ryder's words wandered, Owen found himself wondering about Teddy. Last he'd heard, she was still at Landstuhl in Germany. I wonder if she's still there. That'd be going on, what, maybe 15 years now? God, I miss operating with her. We could read each other without even looking, and certainly without speaking. How did I never see that she was attracted to me? She held back because of Beth... and she effectively hid her feelings. I never saw it until that day in the ER when she screamed at me about it. I was nuts about her. That smile and those beautiful eyes… Her incredible skill and intelligence…

With an internal chuckle, Owen continued to ponder, And then there's Mia. So adorable. So tiny and mighty. A resilient, determined surgeon able to pull off feats that stun the world. I remember when she was planning her major surgery on that bitch of a neonatal surgeon… I forgot her name… how could I forget her – she was notorious. Herman – that's it. Nicole Herman.

"Dad?" Ryder questioned firmly.

"Yeah?" Owen responded as if he'd been listening.

"So? What do you think of that idea?" Ryder questioned. "Should I do that?"

"You have to trust your gut in matters like this, Ryder," Owen smoke screened.

Ryder blew hair toward his forehead, "Weren't you even listening? That's what I was just saying. My gut is completely useless in all this. The only gut feeling I have is that I want some more of that ice cream before it melts."

With a slight chuckle, Owen scooped his spoon into the ice cream container and then handed the container to Ryder. As he fed himself a huge bite, Ryder emphasized, "So?"

"Let's summarize. There are so many options and nuances here," Owen attempted, hoping to catch up on the words he'd missed.

"Do I want a girlfriend during Plebe Summer?" he repeated with a mouth full of ice cream. "Any girlfriend? Is a girlfriend really what I should be focusing on?"

"Good question," Owen nodded.

"I feel like I need to answer that apart from deciding about Julie," Ryder declared with uncertainty. "Right?"

Owen stuck out his joined lips and tilted his head to the side. He held Ryder's gaze for a few moments before cutting to the chase, "Ryder… here's how I see it… well, wait. Do you want me to give you advice? Tell you what I would do? You might not agree. Hell, for all I know, it might be crappy advice. Mom always tells me not to advise, but to listen and ask questions."

"Don't listen to her," Ryder smirked. "Tell me. Just because you'd do something stupid doesn't mean I will."

"If it were me and I'd always dreamed of being a single, heavily decorated, accomplished pilot, I'd stay friends. That has been your plan as long as I've known you. Even when you were five, you'd tell Kayla how you were never going to get married," Owen recalled.

"Dad… most kindergarten boys think they are either going to marry their own mom or not get married because girls are yucky," Ryder pointed out in utter seriousness.

"But you've kept the single guy plan all this time," Owen pointed out. "Now… if it were me… if I were in your situation, I'd go for the girl and let the future unfold in its own time and way."

"Why?" Ryder quizzed.

"Why?" Owen echoed. "Because all of my life, I always wanted to be a husband and father."

"I like kids…" Ryder stated truthfully. "But I've always imagined I'd be crazy Uncle Ryder."

"Could you still be crazy Uncle Ryder and be married?" Owen questioned.

"Sure, if the chick I marry wasn't uptight and bitchy about how I acted," Ryder decided.

Owen laughed, "And would you ever marry someone uptight and bitchy?"

"No," Ryder scoffed.

"Exactly," Owen nodded.

"Exactly, what? Are you saying I should marry Julie? Because, Dad, that's a huge leap from kissing," Ryder analyzed.

With a fatherly smile, Owen narrowed his eyes and suggested, "Then take your time."

"Marry her, don't marry her, stay friends, distance yourself. Really, Dad, you're not helping," Ryder declared definitively.

Owen gazed out the window at the water. He walked to the doorway and opened it, inviting in the sounds of the outdoors. Standing at the door with the breeze kissing his face, Owen wondered, "Do you know why you've always said you don't want to marry and have kids? What's behind that declaration?"

As if Owen was asking the most obvious question known in the universe, Ryder replied with clarity beyond his years, "Because I refuse to fly fighter planes if part of me is on the ground."

"Say more," Owen invited.

"If I had a wife and a kid… or kids," Ryder clarified, "I'd be so devoted to them and would love them so much. I couldn't take all the risks that come with piloting and with landing on aircraft carriers if my family was constantly wondering if I was safe and if I'd come back alive."

Owen narrowed his eyes slightly and fixed his gaze on his son. He admitted to himself that Ryder's reasoning was wise and insightful. Yet, Owen believed Ryder would flourish down the road if he had someone to serve as a rudder in his wayward life. Julie was exactly the type of person who could accomplish such a feat.

With loving challenge, Owen pushed, "You can't have both dreams, hmm? They can't co-exist?"

With widened eyes, Ryder threw his head onto the back of the chair and huffed, "Sheesh, Dad… I'm not asking about marriage and the rest of my flippin' life. Let's stay focused on the present."

"Then re-define the dreams: the Academy and Julie… or the Academy and a girlfriend. They can't co-exist?" Owen attempted.

Ryder threw his arms in the air, yet maintained a wide smile, "See? We're back where we started. Now what?"

"Maybe you're not ready to make a decision," Owen shrugged. "Stop pushing the river, Son."

"Huh?" Ryder questioned.

Owen strolled back to the chairs and sat down. He rested his forearms on his knees and leaned toward Ryder, "Let the current do what currents do. No matter how hard you try, you can't stop the river by standing in the current and pushing against it." Noticing Ryder processing the idea, Owen concluded, "When you're ready, you'll be able to identify whether the current represents Julie, F/A-18s, or something entirely different." He patted Ryder's shoulder and stood up, knowing that concluding the conversation after that metaphor was the best choice. Ryder stayed in the office for a couple hours, pondering and wondering.