Happy birthday to me! In celebration, I have a present for you. Enjoy. :3

Thank you Final Hikari, for help with editing and dialogue!

Chapter Four: Trust

Try as he might, Richard could not get the meeting with Asbel out of his mind. He could hardly fault himself for that, considering his feelings, but it was still very frustrating. He wanted to see Asbel again, and perhaps…give his old friend a real chance. He had shut down the idea of rekindling their friendship without even entertaining it, but now that he had the chance to turn it over, it was all he could think about.

It also brought to mind things he had wanted for years, but never allowed himself.

After several days of dwelling on the issue, Richard realised that this was not something that would simply go away if left on its own. He could not stop wondering if maybe…they could be friends again. However, while Asbel had claimed no malicious intent towards him, how could Richard really believe that? How could he trust him?

Trust. What a loaded word. People always expected the privilege of trust, but refused to take the time, or expend the effort, to truly earn it. Besides that, if you did not trust a person already, how could you let that person close enough to earn your trust in the first place? It was a paradox, and one he had no inclination to work towards remedying. People, he had learned, were not worthy of his trust. It was an attitude that had brought him this far, and thus he saw no reason to change his stance on the matter.

…except, Asbel. As children, he recalled, he had trusted the other boy. His family's lifestyle had made him wary, even as a child, but Asbel's straightforward nature and honest demeanour had won him over despite that. Those were traits that still seemed to be present in the man that had once been the boy. It was hard not to simply fall back into old habits. Hard not to, but impossible to do. It was like his life was one enormous paradox that was spreading him too thin. He knew, however, that he would not be at peace until this matter was laid to rest.

Mind made up, he knew what he had to do. Most Wednesdays saw Asbel seeking lunch at a local café, down the street from the precinct. The place did not see too much business, and Asbel usually took lunch there alone, according to his sources. It would not hurt to simply talk.

…and worst case scenario, he might learn something.

Asbel enjoyed taking lunch at the Ymir Café on Wednesdays. Another restaurant down the block had Wednesday specials, and the filtered a lot of the traffic away from here, leaving it quiet; a good place to think. The atmosphere was pleasant, with the walls painted a deep brown, leafy trees running up them and across the dusty blue ceiling. The tables were spaced well apart, giving the illusion of privacy, and all of the furniture had been expertly carved to add to the woodsy feel of the building.

Currently, he was drinking his coffee and pouring over old notes. The most recent killing had the paparazzi in an uproar, and it was all the top brass could do to keep the media from exploding over the matter and plastering confidential case details across half the city. The latest development in the case changed the signature, and so the team was currently reviewing the details. Was it the same person? They needed to ascertain that fact before they proceeded. If this case was unrelated to theirs, then they needed to pass it off to another team to tackle. Hubert was convinced it was related to their case, however, and Pascal had thrown around theories of stressors and other psychological terms that Asbel did not understand. Whatever the case, it was still a murder and therefore needed to be solved.

The door's bell rang, but Asbel did not so much as glance up. There was something in the report that was tickling the back of his mind, but he could not quite put his finger on it. It was bothering him, however, and given the importance of the situation, he was determined to figure out what it was.

"Ready to get something to eat yet, Asbel?"

His head jerked up, a confused look. Then he chuckled. "Raine, sorry. I was distracted."

The young woman waved him off. "It's fine. Just get something soon, or else I'll have to kick you out."

Raine was a terse woman, but nice enough once you got to know her. She was working here, at her family's café, to pay her way through graduate school. She was also brilliant, and an excellent source of advice.

He raised his coffee. That counted. "I'm missing something." He could not tell her the details, of course, but luckily he did not have to.

"Why do you think that?"

"It's my gut. It's telling me there's more to this."

Raine paused, clearly thinking. "I know you follow your gut a lot, Asbel, and that's served you well before, but maybe Hubert's right this time. You are close to the case—are you absolutely certain you're missing something, or do you just want there to be something missing?"

He frowned at her hidden implications. Was he blocking something out? Perhaps something that might implicate Richard more? He did not know. He did, however, acknowledge that Raine might have a point.

"I'll bring you something."

"Thanks, Raine," he said with a weak smile. Looking back down at his notes, he sighed and slammed the portfolio shut. He needed to clear his head.

"Asbel."

He had to be going crazy. Looking up again, he gaped openly at the man before him. Richard, for it was he, merely sighed.

"May I sit?"

"I don't know, can you?" he blurted out stupidly. Years of correcting Sophie's grammar acted before his brain, and he found himself blushing. "I mean…yeah, go ahead. Sorry. Sophie."

Richard's face was expressionless as he settled into the seat across from Asbel. They stared at each other for a long moment before Asbel found his voice again. "Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?"

"I do not know, can you?"

The words were spoken in such a monotone that it took Asbel a moment to realise that Richard was…joking with him? There was no smile on his face, no mirth, but that had definitely been a joke.

…he thought.

"Uh, I mean…you want anything?"

"Earl Grey tea would be nice."

Asbel nodded, standing. "Anything to eat? They make good brownies. Or—oh, I know! The scones are good. Blueberry? You like blueberry, right?"

Something that might have been amusement flickered across Richard's face. It was gone as quickly as it came, however, leaving Asbel wondering if he had only imagined it. "That will suffice, thank you."

Asbel hurried to the counter, placing the order and waiting. Raine sent him a look as she set down his sandwich, but he stubbornly shook his head. Now was not the time. What was Richard doing here? After their last meeting, to just appear here? It was absurd! There had to be more to thi—

Or did there? He was thinking like his brother, now, looking for motive in everything. Maybe Richard just wanted to say 'hi'. Could that not just as easily be it? They were old friends, and maybe Richard had rethought his stance and decided they could be friends again. Asbel had to admit that he hoped that was it. If he could get close to Richard again, maybe they could put this behind them and get to the bottom of whoever was framing Richard!

Their food was handed to him, and Asbel took the tray, carrying it over and setting it down on the table. He tried not to see the way Richard sniffed the food, eyeing it thoroughly before taking a bite. He would also try not to be offended.

"Like it?" he asked, suddenly entirely uncertain what to even say.

"It is adequate."

Apparently, compliments were hard to come by from Richard these days. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Asbel found he could no longer stand it.

"Richard…"

"Why am I here?"

"Yeah, about that…"

The blond sighed, setting down his mug. "Allow me to explain. I have…given some thought to your proposition." His 'proposition'? He had asked to be friends, not for a business deal! "And I may have been hasty in my refusal."

Oh. Really? He had actually been right? The surprise must have shown on his face, because Richard shook his head.

"If the offer is retracted, I und—"

"No!" he cut in hastily, waving his hands. "No, it's not—I'm just—this is—!" He took a deep breath, visibly collecting himself. "This is just a surprise. A good surprise, but still…a surprise. I'm glad, though. I've missed you. I mean, I know were only hung out for the one summer, but I sorta hoped we might be able to meet up again after. I just didn't know how to get hold of you, and my dad didn't really want me…" He trailed off, breathing slightly heavily from the tirade. What was he, twelve?

"It is fine, Asbel. I had much the same thoughts and difficulties," Really? "else I would have contacted you long ago."

That was interesting to know. "Why didn't you? After…you know."

Richard sighed. "There is much you do not understand, Asbel, and I had no desire to drag you into any of it."

"What's changed?" he asked, suddenly even more curious. Why this? Why now? Hubert's warnings wormed their way into his mind, and he stubbornly tamped them down.

"…we spoke, and you confirmed that you also wished to speak more. So, I have come to do just that." Richard frowned. "I am aware this will likely not work out, however…"

"Stop. Stop it, Richard. You want to be friends again. I do too. What's so hard about that?"

"Asbel, your naïvety is almost endearing."

His brow furrowed, and he stared over at the other man. "Richard?"

"I do not mean that to be an insult. I simply…wish I could view the world as innocently as you."

"Oh. But Richard, why do you think this is so hard? It's what we both want, isn't it?"

"I am…not certain of that. Regardless, it is not as though we can pick up where we left off."

Asbel understood what Richard was saying, what he meant, but he wanted to deny it. Richard was right, though. There was a lot for them to overcome before they even considered the idea of being…friends. For one, their respective jobs; the city was not likely to look kindly upon any sort of contact between the two of them that was not of the arresting variety. Secondly, there was years of growth and separation to overcome. As much as Asbel wanted to see his old friend back…that had been a boy. This was a man grown.

"What…can we do, then?"

"I am not suggesting we do anything." Richard sighed, a hand coming up to rub his forehead. "Asbel, I fear you may be reading too much into this. I came here to talk…because I wished for us not to be on bad terms. I am not looking for a companion to see the latest movie with, or to go out for a night of drinks and pool. I simply felt you deserved more than I gave you the other day."

"I…understand, Richard. I just…" Those words hurt. Maybe he had been reading too much into things, getting himself worked up for nothing, but still, he had hoped for more than that. "I'm glad, though. I'm glad you came to tell me that, at least. I thought…I thought I'd done something to make you hate me. I went and joined the force after my wife was murdered, Cheria, because I wanted to stop that from happening to someone else's wife. I just…I didn't think it would push us apart like this. I get it, though. Promise me that you know my being an officer has nothing to do with you, though. Please."

Silence fell for a long moment, and Asbel began to fear that Richard was going to brush him off. Then, "I…I understand, Asbel. I do apologise for saying those things. I was…hesitant to reach out again."

Asbel stared down at his plate, the remnants of his sandwich sitting silent and cold, as he searched for words. There had been more truth, more honesty, in those few words than he suspected he had heard from Richard in years.

"I understand, Richard. I wasn't mad, just…"

"I hurt you. I am truly sorry for that."

Asbel fidgeted with his mug. "You should come meet Sophie sometime," he blurted out before he could rethink the offer. "My…my daughter. Sophie is my daughter."

Richard looked away, and Asbel was certain he was going to be rejected. It had been a stupid offer, anyway. They both knew they could never really…be friends again. Right? They had jobs that just did not mesh.

"Asbel, I am sorry, but…"

"I…you're right. I'm sorry. Forget I said anything."

Richard nodded. "I am glad we had this talk, but I should be going," he said, standing.

Reluctantly, Asbel stood too, holding out one hand. "It was good seeing you."

Richard offered a small smile as he took the hand, shaking firmly. "You also, Asbel. Take care of yourself."

"You too."

This time when the door bell chimed, Asbel found himself unable to tear his gaze away.

Richard kicked the door to his office closed, and all but fell against the wall. His head was pounding, and he clenched one fist, pressing it to his forehead as he willed the waves of pain to pass. Outside, he heard a knock, Malik calling to him, but the sound seemed as though someone else was hearing it. His mind just could not seem to process it enough to form a response.

He stumbled forward, falling into his desk chair. He fell forward, head hitting the desk, and knew no more.