Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or any of its characters. I do, however, own my own characters and plots.

Chapter 32

I felt as if I lost everything again. Everything.

When Farida hit the ground, and Seth enlightened me with that dark conclusion... that she was gone... I couldn't control the amount of emotion that washed over me. I hadn't felt this kind of loss and despair since the purge of Oasium. The emotion itself called those memories out, out through my fragmented mind and heart, and I was lost. For a few moments, I wasn't in Sector E anymore. Everyone around me were monsters. I was a child again.

I was a fool. An idiot. I was homeless, but I never realized that home was where Farida was. She was the living memory of an Oasium untouched by Cyclonians... She didn't see any of its destruction. As many times as I've already said it, she looked just like our mother, keeping her alive within herself. If I had ever given Farida a chance, I would have realized this sooner. I wouldn't have had to go through so many years, hopelessly yearning for the day I would find true happiness. But instead I chose to be selfish. I chose to wallow in my own misfortune and assume that Farida was content with her own life. In the end, it turned out that we both needed each other.

Corvid... the rage that took hold of me then... I chose not to control any of it. I was already disoriented in the grip of my own turmoil. However, don't misunderstand me... I was not driven insane to the point where I didn't remember anything or knew what I was doing. I was fully aware of what I had done to him. Beating him to an inch of his life felt so right to me that... that I couldn't stop. His life was forfeit. His life was mine to take, in exchange for the life that he stole away from Farida. In her stead, I wanted vengeance so deeply that I lost who I was. That filthy human...

Humans. They were all the same to me at that moment. Atmosian or Cyclonian... it didn't matter. I was sick of them. I didn't like them when I was a child, I didn't like them when I was growing up, and right then, after living ten years of coming to love them... for a few moments, I absolutely loathed them. They had always been the ones who caused me the most grief. When Seth tried to stop me from killing Corvid, I couldn't help but see him in Cyclonian garb. I knew he was only trying to stop me from doing something I would regret —I'm grateful now that he tried to intervene—, but in the state I was in, all I could feel was outrage and betrayal. There was no one I could trust. And yet, the one who brought me back to my senses was Luchas, the true Cyclonian in our company...

Farida is alive, he said. The anger subsided, the hatred drained away... but the sadness remained. I couldn't pull myself back together. After what happened, I just couldn't see things clearly anymore.

...My nights in reserve were very peaceful. Or at least that's how I felt about it, since I don't remember thinking at all during that period. That could be called peaceful, couldn't it? No thoughts to trouble the mind, to stir up the heart. There was nothing... no sights, no smells, no noises, no pain. The only thing I remember is this absence of feeling, and it brought me back decades before. Yes, Luchas was right. I went through reserve quite often in the Oasium Project, and they filled my memories with black holes that I was thankful for.

The nights when I was out of reserve, however... horrible. My sleep was never peaceful. If there was a higher power, they had decided to punish me and throw me into the melting pot of my reminiscence. I never slept in the medical facility because of this... Nightmares of the Oasium Project would always haunt me when I was in a place like this, my nostrils filled with the scent of antiseptics. I would wake up within the dream and find Cyclonian doctors closing in on me and restraining my arms, advancing with syringes in their hands. I would see Oasium burning in my mind's eye as the Cure destroyed my insides...

And yet, that wasn't the worst of my nightmares, no. The worst part was seeing something change within me. I had turned into a beast. I saw myself killing everyone and everything around me, becoming an indestructible soldier the Dead Queen always wanted me to be. Seth, Derik, Brett, Tatu, Luchas... I cried out whenever my hands ended their lives... then Adam appeared. He was alive, but the fear that embodied his face... he and the children looked at me, a stranger. A monster.

Today, the day I had finally woken up, I found myself in a hospital bed, hooked up to many machines. White walls enclosed me, and for a few minutes my heart rose to an incredible pace, causing the machines to start racing with me. Seth barged in when he heard the ruckus, and then he just stood at the door, looking at me. I didn't know what emotion he was feeling... I found it very hard to read him. After some time, he ventured to my bedside and pulled up a stool to sit down. My breathing slowed down, feeling slightly comforted by his presence.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me softly. I tried sitting up, but I hissed inwardly at my aching body. My torso was surrounded tightly with bandages, and they extended to my left shoulder. My right hand had gone past being bandaged and was compacted into a cast instead. I couldn't move my fingers, and maybe that was a good thing...

Seth reprimanded me. "Not so fast... tell me how you feel."

My eyes travelled around the room in silence. I tried collecting my thoughts, but they weren't that easy to catch.

"...I feel a lot of things, Seth," I replied. "I can't tell them apart."

"That usually happens after going through something like that."

"How long was I out? And am I still in the facility?"

Seth pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. They were always sliding down because he always looked at people over them. I liked it when he looked people in the eye without glasses, since it seemed like he was genuinely taking them seriously. When he pushed them up, it was usually because of fatigue or uncertainty. He definitely looked tired right now, as if he was working overtime. As for uncertain, well... yes, he did look uncertain, thinking deeply.

"Right now, we're in Sector Zero. You've been unconscious for five days."

Sector Zero was the basement level where Farida used to reside. As I've said before —or have I? I don't remember— this was the main floor of the medical facility around ten years go, when no other Sectors were built yet. When they were, this floor adopted this neutral title and remained unused for some time. I don't know why, since a few more patients could've been fit in here, but I suppose they reserved it for anyone with delicate mentality issues. After all, the room Farida was confined in was down the hall.

Farida.

"Is my sister here as well?" I asked. Seth nodded. "Is she awake?"

He nodded again. I started sitting up again, and Seth leaned forward to intercept this time.

"Nakoto, please. You just woke up after nearly getting yourself killed. Farida's not going anywhere."

"I have to see her. You think I'm going to wait for something else to take her from me?" I shook my head aggressively, seizing the sheets in my left hand. Everything ached, and my body protested against getting out of bed, but my heart ached even more at the thought of staying. "It's important that I see her now. Let me go—"

"I don't want you to push yourself!"

I winced from the harsh tone in Seth's voice. I looked at him and noticed that his eyes were somewhat glassy. He was trying his best to come out as stern, but his voice came out very shaken.

"Don't you understand?" he demanded. "We almost lost you! You almost died! The Chancellor and I have been worried sick about you! Why can't you focus on yourself for once?"

"I have done enough of that already, and look what's happened!" I retorted. My sternum hurt as I collected breath. "Sending her away did nothing. It did nothing but make things worse. I chose to believe that Farida was anything but family, and I turned my back on her. What do you think that is, other than selfishness and... and cowardice? I could... if I could only..." I grasped my head with my left hand and cast my eyes down. "You don't understand how much I hate myself right now! You don't understand how much this all hurts..."

If only I could go back into reserve! I wouldn't feel any of this, and I wouldn't have to deal with anything at all... that was the cowardly thing to hope for. I was a fully-grown Raptor, not a kid. And yet, no matter how old you get, things just got to you and starting choking you... Choking...

Seth reached out to me and spoke in a more gentle tone.

"I am trying to understand, Nakoto. But you're the only one who can explain it to me. We are trying to help you. We are not trying to hurt you. Not you, not Farida, not anybody."

I didn't look up at him, or say anything in response. He leaned his head down, trying to peer back up into my eyes.

"Talk to me," he pressed. "Then we'll go see Farida. I promise."

"What is there to talk about, other than the fact I'm a total mess?" I croaked. Seth smiled ruefully.

"...you look terrible," he told me truthfully. "Weren't you able to get any rest?"

I brought up my knees and wrapped my good arm around them, while my cast just circled them pathetically. My face hovered behind the two peaks of my legs.

"Everything's that's happened... it won't leave me alone."

"Everything..." Seth leaned back. "That happened five nights ago, or two decades ago?"

"Both. I was doing so well in burying the past, but I wasn't at all prepared to counter the collapse, and it all just hit me... so hard. So hard that I lost all concept of my reality and followed another. And now, forced to sleep here..." I gestured to the room. "My mind decides to remind me of the place that resembles this one, and it brings back all the fear and despair with it. I can't take it."

"And the recent events? Do they haunt you?"

I adjusted my right arm. I wasn't used to having something encasing it so tightly. Trying to stall answering that question, I asked mindlessly: "Is Corvid still...?"

"Alive, yes."

My brain was appalled by the disappointment my heart felt. The resentment ran deeply. Seth continued when I said nothing in return.

"We managed to treat his wounds pretty quickly. However, his arm was difficult to handle... your bite was a serious one. It cut through and shattered his bone."

Behind my lips, my tongue ran delicately over the tips of my teeth. I wasn't accustomed to biting, and I didn't think I was capable of dealing that much damage. In addition... I wasn't accustomed to the pleasure of sinking my teeth into something breathing... I could still remember the feeling of his limb in my jaws. The monster in me found something very seductive in the taste of his blood.

"You were very close in killing him."

"I know."

"What are you thinking?"

I shook my head slowly. I couldn't say it... I couldn't say that I felt no regret in what I did to Corvid. I couldn't say that I wished I actually did kill him. I was too mortified. What was I thinking?

"I don't know, Seth," I sighed. "I just... I just don't know."

The young doctor looked like he didn't believe me. He waited a long time for me to continue with something, to elaborate, but I had nothing to say. And even if I went about and spat it out, what would that do? I was afraid he would think I was crazy or... or dangerous. I was afraid that it was true. Talking about it wouldn't suddenly transform me into what I used to be, before any of this happened. It definitely wouldn't erase what happened either. No, whatever was happening to me... it looked like it was going to stay, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Seth sighed as well, and he patted his knees before he used them to get to his feet. "Here," he offered, coming closer to my bedside. "I'll help you up, and we'll go see Farida."

He disconnected me from the machines and helped me shuffle to the edge of the bed. Standing up seemed very alien to me, so I had to lean on Seth quite a bit. I knew I was a little heavy for him, but he chose not to show any struggle. He lead me through the door out into the hallway, which was very familiar to me. Some dust and dirt over the years still remained, most likely because rushing two Raptors here took much of their attention. There were other doors, but they had to be vacant. I doubted that the doctors would decide to station any other patients with us, not after what I had done. We passed by the doors silently, approaching the deeper end of the hallway. I could see the reinforced door, and my heart beat faster...

...count to think of it, I didn't have a plan. What was I going to say to my sister?

The door slid open and we stepped inside. A computer with accompanying controls were installed at a large desk, which also had room for books, pens and stationary. Sitting at this desk was none other than Luchas, who was consulting the notes on this desk. He turned at the sound of the door opening, and his eyes widened slightly. I looked away from him, instantly drawn to the portal in the wall opening to the room within. Slipping from Seth's arms, I wandered unsteadily over to the one-way mirror and peered inside.

Farida sat in the whitewashed room, which looked very much like it did back from when I first saw her. The only difference was there was a washroom in the left corner, installed sometime during the first years I spent on Atmosia. My sister's back was to the invisible wall, because she probably knew it was there and refused to face it. Because of this, I couldn't see her face. She was looking at a book though. Sort of like a scrapbook, because she occasionally slid some sheets out and examined them more closely. Her movements were very slow, as if she hadn't the mind in what she was doing. No negative energy emanated from her, and I was afraid that I would disturb her in her time of peace.

I lifted my left hand and pressed my fingers to the glass. I swallowed, feeling tempted to back down and forget about confronting her... but I had been doing that for years. It was time for change. I turned my eyes to Luchas and nodded my head awkwardly. My voice didn't carry as strong as I wanted it to.

"Please, open the door for me."

He nodded in response, and turned to the knobs and buttons by the computer. He wasn't going to speak to me about what happened, which I greatly appreciated. However, before he could press any buttons, Farida spoke and her voice projected to us.

"Dr. Luchas?"

Luchas, slightly caught off-guard, responded to the intercom in the wall before him. "Yes?"

She set down the cards of paper. "Beta's here, isn't she?"

"She is."

Farida nodded to herself. She still didn't turn around. I turned to Luchas and gestured to the intercom.

"Could you... deactivate that?" I asked. "This is going to be personal... I would really appreciate the privacy."

Farida nodded again. "So would I."

Luchas took a moment to answer, looking up to Seth. He was probably torn upon whether this could be allowed or complete supervision had to be mandatory. Seth gazed through the window for a few seconds, then nodded his permission. Luchas reached over to the intercom, and after a flip of a switch, its light faded.

I was hard at work trying to come up with any explanations for Farida, but I knew that they would have to come out on their own, from the heart. I stood before the door and Luchas opened it for me. My body seemed unprepared for it, as if only waking up now and realizing what was happening around it. The door slid aside with a gust of noise, making my nerves jump. My limbs suddenly felt like they were filled with lead, but I mustered all my will to step forward. Like a parent pulling the arm of a reluctant child, I entered the white space.

It had to be now.

Repton sat down in his throne, waiting. Cyclonis permitted him to return to his home once it was clear that Nakoto wasn't going to wake up for a while. She was guaranteed to wake up, so he didn't feel as anxious as before... taking his eyes off of her seemed strange to him though. Returning to Bogaton was still for the best because his Terra needed some governing, as well as a reminder that a fearsome leader ruled over it. When he came back, the Raptors who remained in the fortress —including his brothers— heeded his every will, and the rebellion in the village was seen to. Drellian was brought before him now, bound, as he seated himself in front of his shield collection.

Drellian looked much like many of the other Raptors of the Terra, but he shouldn't be confused so easily. He managed to take down all of the guards Repton sent after him, and in the end the Rogue himself had to get the job done. He proved greater in battle simply because he knew how Drellian ticked... they were very much alike. They had many of the same desires, and this always lead to some rivalry. The tension between the two power-thirsty Raptors was apparent even when they were on the same side. The only difference between the two was Drellian was younger and more physically-fit. Like Repton, he had a sharp intellect that put many others to shame. What was even better was this young Raptor's ambition. That was why Repton had favoured him.

But now he was a nuisance.

The Raptor had two others flanking him from both sides, their spears readied. Repton looked to them and dismissed them. He overlooked their bewildered expressions, and he growled at them to emphasize his order. They didn't wait around for him to repeat himself once more. When they left, and the two Raptors were alone, Repton got to his feet and folded his arms.

"What should I do with you now?" he asked the former subordinate. "Am I really forced to kill you?"

"What's stopping you?" Drellian smiled crookedly, slightly hindered by the swelling of bruises on his face. He still had the nerve to smirk like that. "You're Repton. What's one Raptor to you? We're all disposable to you."

"You're one of the best soldiers I've got. To throw you away would be a very foolish decision, especially with what's going on here now." Repton threw his hand up irritably. "It would be better to have you follow orders, like you used to. Do as I say, and everything's fine."

"What you don't understand is that you're not fit to be giving any orders," Drellian hissed. "Do what you say? Why should I, or anyone for that matter? What have you done for your people?"

"I won't waste time explaining myself."

"Don't run from this! Bogaton is slowly dying off! Cyclonis has promised not to crush us, but what of it? We'll all die from the inside if nothing is done. You're not doing anything, so who better to lead us out of this but someone like me?"

Repton rolled his eyes as he turned his back on Drellian. He decided to entertain the younger Raptor. "And just what would you have us do, if you were ruler?"

"The Atmos is full to the brim with opportunities. Ships always fly just beyond our border. Pick them clean and you have food and wealth to last us until the next raid. It worked in the past, and Murk Raiders still do it. They're fine, aren't they? And these hunting grounds Cyclonis promised... I would make sure they weren't the transparent lies they are now."

Looking up at the shields, Repton realized how much he heard his own thinking in the rebel's words. He rolled his shoulders, feeling as if he was speaking with himself, feeling older. "You should know fully well why we can't do as we please anymore. We have Sky Knights to thank for that."

"So you've grown scared of them?"

Repton bore his teeth and turned around, met with Drellian's taunting smile.

"You're scared! And you go parading around how you're the most fearsome Raptor of us all!" he crowed. Repton started descending the steps toward him. "So now you'll just clutch to the little power you have now, afraid of risking it for a brighter future... you've changed, Repton. You've definitely changed!"

"And when you see things my way, you will too."

Drellian's smile faltered when Repton's boomerang poised under his jaw, activated. The buzz of the crystal emission filled both of their ears.

"We have many enemies, Drellian," Repton growled, "and not enough allies. We act out of line, and the Sky Knights come after us. Cyclonis could care less about that and let us face things alone. And if we cross her, raid her ships, then it's all over. The Sky Knights will be glad to be rid of us... their so-called compassion would be absent in our war. The most I can do is follow Cyclonis' every whim to stop her from razing our home to the ground... her empire's already done that to Raptors before. She won't hesitate to repeat history."

Drellian's eyes flashed from both surprise and curiosity. Repton closed his mouth and his lips thinned. He didn't intend for Oasium to weasel out as a point in his argument, and explaining what he meant was not something he planned to do.

"My rule has nothing to do with the famine here. I'm sure you've noticed the holes in the Terra? What we're dealing here is a beast..." Repton retreated and put his boomerang away. "I'm sure Khalik has been going on and on about it in the village."

"Teeth from beneath," Drellian murmured thoughtfully. "After the recon, no one's ventured out on the terrain in fear of whatever's out there."

Repton's brow rose. "And I'm the one who's afraid? Once we figure out exactly what it is, we're going to destroy it."

"That won't bring back all the game it's devoured."

"Of course it won't. The beast itself would sustain us for a little while, judging from how big the holes it makes are. If it's not enough, Cyclonia's going to provide us with food that'll last us a lifetime."

"And why would Cyclonia bother with that, if you say Cyclonis could care less?"

Nakoto came to mind, and he turned his back on Drellian once more, to prevent him from seeing his demeanour change. He perched his hands behind his back again. "That part doesn't concern you. But what does involves you helping me kill the monster that's found a nest here with us. From what I've heard, it's been incubating somewhere in the ground and hasn't surfaced since its feast. Digging underground after it will make us very vulnerable, like Khalik and his men... we'll have to lure it out." He turned to Drellian and looked down at him. "Will you serve me again to eliminate this creature?"

Drellian returned the gaze, but his was more bitter. He probably didn't like how Repton worded his proposition, of serving him rather than working together with him. Repton knew that if he gave the Raptor equal power, he would take the first chance he got and try to overthrow him. The Rogue had no trouble fighting and dominating him, but Drellian could catch him in the dark when he wouldn't be expecting it.

Eventually, after a long distrustful stare, Drellian bowed his head.

"I... pledge allegiance," he announced solemnly. "I will obliterate what plagues us, in the name of Bogaton."

"Good."

Repton barked out to the guards who were waiting outside, and they shuffled back in to stand at Drellian's sides. "I'm feeling very merciful today, so I'll overlook your crimes," he stated. "These men will escort you back down to the village. But before you leave..."

Repton unclasped his hands and pointed down at Drellian.

"If you try to take my kingdom from me again, I will tear you apart without question. Is that understood?"

With a gesture of his hand, Repton sent the guards on their way, guiding the bound Raptor with them. Just when the Rogue thought that all was over and done with, he heard Drellian scoff to himself.

"With how things are heading... it won't be much of a kingdom, will it?"

Repton pretended that he wasn't fortunate enough to hear that. He backed up and let himself fall back into his thrown once more, rubbing his brow. Now he could relax...

Not.

"Leugey! Get back here and gimme that thing!"

"This is Repton's!"

"So what? Give it!"

Repton shut his eyes tightly for a few seconds, then opened them murderously. He gnashed his teeth in annoyance and got up from his seat. He knew fully well that he wouldn't be getting any peace, so he went out to pursue the voices. Whatever his brothers were fighting over was his possession, so he had to see exactly what it was and decide if it was delicate enough to be saved.

When he got into the room, his heart jumped up into his throat. Yes, it was definitely delicate, and valuable. They were fighting over the piece of the Eye! It was still wrapped by cloth, but it was only a matter of time before any of them touched it and blew Luchas' cover —and worse, reveal to Cyclonis that Repton had stolen some of her property. How the hell did they find it? Leugey was holding onto the Eye tightly, close to himself, while Spitz and Hoerk suddenly rushed him. The brothers all crashed to the ground with shouts and yelps, and the Eye leaped out of Leugey's grip and skidded across the floor, out of its cloth. The three of them looked after it dumbfounded, then at each other. When they scrambled to their feet to snatch the crystal first, Repton exploded:

"Stay exactly where you are!"

They obeyed him without question, tripping over themselves. They hadn't realized that he entered the room, and now they spun on their heels and faced him, postures fully erected. Repton stormed toward them, picked up the fallen cloth and then motioned to the fallen Eye angrily.

"What do you think you're doing, going through my things?" he shouted. "Do you have any idea how important that stone is? You could have smashed it!"

"What is it, Repton?" Spitz questioned. "How can it be that important?"

Repton never bothered telling his brothers about his assignment. About why Cyclonia didn't destroy them after their screw-up with the Storm Hawks, or about why he spent time away from the Terra for days on end. He didn't tell them at all about Nakoto, either. He didn't want to start explaining because it didn't concern them as much. Then, he also found it mortifying to confess that his assignment including spying on Nakoto. He was lucky that the voices in the Eye weren't reaching them clearly from where it was in the room.

"It's one of a kind, and we're the only ones other than Cyclonis that owns a piece," he hissed. "If this ever leaves the room, you're all dead. Is that clear?"

The three brothers nodded eagerly, trembling slightly. Repton roared and they took the hint to leave the room immediately. He didn't turn to watch after them or make sure that all of them had left the room. Instead, he made his way over to he Eye on the floor, which was still wobbling slightly from its flight. With the cloth, he knelt down, picked it up, and therefore adjusted which way the image was supposed to sit. It took him a moment to recognize Luchas surroundings, because he hadn't been watching at all since he came back to Bogaton. It seemed to be a new type of room, absent of hospital beds but more technological. This room was slightly dimmer than a normal room too, because the lightsource seemed to be coming in through a window of another room.

Nakoto was there.

So she finally woke. It was nice to see her animated, as opposed to her lying so lifelessly... she was sitting in the white enclosed room, in Farida's presence. They were talking, but no sound from their conversation was coming through. Farida didn't look inclined to talk, completely stone-faced. Nakoto was smiling softly, encouragingly, but she still looked like she was struggling. She was trying to show that things were okay... but there was something different about her. Sure, her body was heavily bandaged, but...

"It's that nice Raptoress..."

Leugey's scent had never left the room, but Repton had thought that it would follow him eventually. That wasn't the case, because Leugey himself never left the room. Instead, he had followed Repton to where the Eye was and looked over his shoulder. Repton turned his head toward him and bore his teeth in vexation.

"Leugey... leave."

"What's she doing in that thing, Boss?" his younger brother asked, disregarding the elder's warning. "Is she stuck in there?"

The childish buffoon believed she was trapped in a crystal. Repton sighed heavily. "No, Leugey. She's someplace else. Now go away."

Leugey seemed too absorbed with the fact he was seeing Nakoto again that he ignored Repton again. After all, ever since the Vulca-Bats, the youngest brother had been looking forward to seeing her again. He got on his hands and knees and looked over into the Eye. Repton leaned away to allow him this, but not because he wanted to. He was about to snap at him again when Leugey's expression changed. His smile faltered, and he looked concerned.

"What's the matter with her, Repton?"

"She got into a fight. She was beaten pretty badly, but as you can see, she's fine."

She's fine. When Repton said those words, he felt strange. Leugey looked like he detected the false nature of those words. Even though Nakoto was smiling, her eyes weren't. Repton gave up trying to chase his brother away, and instead focused on figuring out why Nakoto looked the way she did.

Broken.

End of Chapter

A/N: Updating from the university's library~ I'm so cool 8D lol

Hope you like this one, sorry that I fell kinda short of my promise, but... I've had plenty of distractions. One being a very cute and sweet boy. AHEM.

Review me your thoughts and feelings~ I always enjoy looking through them :) And thank you to those who always give me their feedback. You guys are amazing. Last but not least, I'd like to thank Mystic Shadow Demonfor editting once again :D

Have a nice day!
~Vix