A/N: GUYS. GUYS. GUYSSSSS. THIS IS IT. *indiscernible dying whale noises* AAAAAHHHHHHH. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS DAY HAS COME.
So, two years ago this month, I wrote and posted Breath of Life, this story's launching point, and if I had known I'd spend very nearly two years writing an 800k+ sequel (entirely on my phone btw), I probably would have panicked and given up lol. But instead I started this story which was originally meant to be about 30 chapters long and end with Summer's recovery from her leg being crushed and Bucky proposing to her. Midnightwings96 and I initially planned the story up to that point, and then slowly we started adding more and more until one day the idea for a trial happened and then suddenly the fic was monster sized and included like 484849494 different characters, and there was simply no escaping it at that point lol. It just grew and grew and kept going and GOING and now it's over. And I just... I CAN'T BELIEVE ITTTT. I have so much love and gratitude to each and everyone of you readers for staying with this story for so long, both the longtime readers who have been here since the start and new ones who read all five million chapters to get caught up (lol). You are all THE BEST AND I LOVE YOU and can't possibly thank you enough. The same goes for midnightwings96, who is not only the Bucky to my Steve (or maybe the Steve to my Bucky? Idk, could go either way lol) but also the brains behind so much of this story. She helped me countless time I got stuck and couldn't get through certain chapters, came up with pretty much all the best ideas, and is 474838484% of the reason why I am currently word-vomiting all over this epilogue and finally at the end of this lovely fanfic journey. Except, of course, it's not REALLY over ;) but anyway, yeah, she's nothing short of a goddess and I love her. As you guys can tell. Lol :D
Two quick notes before I shut up: this isn't the typical epilogue one might expect. It's a reflection of the whole story, which has been dark and difficult and quite angsty at times as well as fluffy and happy and (I hope) sexy, so keep that in mind as you start reading. And consider that a bit of a warning lol (look at me, all cryptic and mysterious woooooooo lol)
SECOND: So I promised you all a surprise when the epilogue was posted, and I shall now dramatically reveal said surprise lol. Immediately after posting this, I am going to post the first chapter of my next Bucky/Summer fic that is going to be my primary story. It's called Till Death Do Us Part, and holy crap guys, I am EXCITED. It's going to be a full-length AU, probably around 30 chapters (hopefully I stick to that estimate this time lol), and I've never been more excited for a story than I am about this. So hop on over to my profile and take a looksie after you read this epilogue, because it should be up and ready for reading by then :D
Again, my huge and eternal thanks to each and every one of you. I love you all, and please leave a review and let me know what you think :) *massive Thor-sized hugs*
Fall's Church, Virginia, one year later
There used to be a time that Bucky dreaded waking up in the morning, almost as much as he dreaded going to sleep at night. Nightmares and visions of the life that he had once been forced to live would flash through his head until he awoke gasping, his skin crawling with memories that he couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried, his hands twitching like the blood he'd spilled over the last century was still running over them like a broken faucet.
Those days had been almost unbearably difficult, enough to make any man ready to simply give up and fade into nothingness. But those days were, thank the very heavens above, over now.
Now Bucky was happy when he opened his eyes in the morning, whether it was due to the alarm on his phone blaring him awake or the smell of food wafting in from the kitchen, or as was the case on this particular day, two little girls jumping on him until he finally woke up and paid them the attention that they were demanding.
"Daddy!" three-year old Adelaide squeaked, pulling on his hair as one-year old Rebecca jumped on his back and smacked him furiously with her tiny little open palms. Bucky, lying on his stomach with his shoulder-length hair covering most of his face, smiled to himself and pretended to still be asleep for the time being. It was what he always did when they teamed up on him like this, and he had a feeling it was why they kept doing it.
"Daddy! Wake up!" Adelaide kept yelling at him, resorting to trying to pull on his arm to get his attention. But being made entirely of metal, she couldn't quite make the limb budge, and when Rebecca noticed this she clamored over to help her big sister. Together they tried to yank on his arm, but they were no more successful than Tony Stark attempting to lift Mjolnir.
Cracking his eye open, this was when Bucky decided to finally attack. His arm shot out and wrapped around both of his girls in a flash, and he pulled them to his chest just as they let out happy squeals of sheet surprise.
"I got you both," he laughed, rolling on his side and squeezing them close as they giggled and squirmed in his unyielding grasp. "I win!"
The sound of the loud, happy giggles flowing noisily from the bedroom got the attention of Summer, who quickly made her way from the kitchen to the bedroom doorway only to sigh and say with exasperation, "Addie, I told you to let him sleep! It's his day off!"
"It's okay," Bucky assured her, looking towards the doorway and smiling at what he saw. He'd seen Summer pull off everything from elegant evening gowns to form-fitting business wear and everything in between, but there was always a soft spot in his heart for her with her hair up in a messy bun and comfortably oversized clothes on her frame, and not an inch of makeup in sight.
"Sorry," she smiled, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorway. "Guess I just can't keep them away from you, even with the promise of pancakes."
"It's alright," he grinned down at the two little girls still in his arms. "Not a bad way to wake up."
Adelaide smiled back and squirmed her way out of his arms, pushing back her long dark brown hair from her face and sitting next to him. Rebecca, meanwhile, stayed right where she was and snuggled cozily with her daddy, her wild, bright red curls tickling his chin, and Bucky ran his fingers through it absently as he asked, "Where's David?"
"You can't hear?"
Pausing, Bucky stopped and listened for a moment and quickly identified the pleasant sounds of a piano being played not too far away. He smiled a little. "Oh. Should have figured."
"Yep, it's his morning routine," Summer replied before quietly clapping her hands twice. "Okay, kiddos. Out of bed. Addie, go take your sister back to the kitchen. I'll be there in a minute."
Adelaide huffed but complied anyway, dragging her baby sister out of the bed and leading her out of the room by her hand. At only three, Adelaide was incredibly sharp and at the peak of development for her age, and she loved helping to take care of Rebecca. It was adorable to watch, but it also made Addie even more of a handful, because she didn't seem to realize how tiny she actually was herself.
Once the kids had cleared the room, Bucky weakly held up his right hand and whined, "Help me up?"
Summer grinned and crossed her arms again. "Seriously?"
He nodded and pouted a little. "I'm tired. I'm an old man, remember?"
She rolled her eyes and headed his way anyway, pointing out, "This is the most obvious trick in the entire world. You should be ashamed."
"It's not a trick," he lied, smiling as he continued to reach for her. "I'm 104."
"You're actually like... 35. Maybe."
She then slipped her hand into his, and just like she had known he would, he immediately yanked her down and pulled her into the bed with him. She landed on his chest with a giggle and he rolled them both over on their sides, grinning with her and then kissing her laughter away as he held her close.
"You're getting predictable in your old age," she teased him, running her fingers through his gloriously long if not slightly tangled hair.
"Yeah? Well you're just getting sexier in yours," he said, subtly sliding his right hand up the front of her shirt until she gasped in mock offense and smacked it away.
"Did you just call me old?!" she demanded, glaring at him with wide, outraged eyes. "I'm 33! I could still have like... ten more babies if I wanted to!"
"Ten, huh?" he chuckled, eyebrows shooting up his forehead. "I don't think this house is big enough for ten more kids."
"I was just making a point," she smiled. "So take it back."
"Take what back?"
"That I'm old!"
"You know I don't think you're old, baby," he purred, that hand of his sliding up her shirt again, this time along her side. "You're 70 years younger than me. It's like that stupid vampire movie you made me watch with the girl that can't ever close her mouth."
"Twilight," Summer reminded him, "and I didn't make you watch it, Tony did. And you're the one who then insisted on watching all five movies."
"Well, if I was gonna waste my time with the first one, I at least wanted to see how it ended," he shrugged innocently.
"Yeah, yeah. Just admit it. You think Robert Pattinson's hot."
"... Who?"
"Edward," she rolled her eyes.
"Oh. No. Honestly... I didn't think any of them were hot," he shrugged.
"You never think anyone's hot. It's annoying and adorable at the same time, because I don't want you to want anyone else but at the same time, your lack of opinions drives me nuts."
"I have opinions," he argued. "The girl from Star Trek."
"Uhura?" Summer guessed.
He furrowed his brows. "No. Rey, I think."
"Oh! You mean Star Wars, you dork," she giggled.
"Whatever," he grumbled. "Star something. But yeah, that girl. She's pretty. Kinda looks like you, too."
"... You think I look like her?" Summer asked with disbelief. "I wish."
"You're better than her," he assured her. "And your body is..." he trailed off and grinned as his eyes dropped down her body and slowly made their way back up to her face, making a show of it. "Much different. But your eyes are similar. And your smile."
She grinned and blushed a little. "Well... thanks. You know, you kinda look like someone, too."
"Who?" Bucky asked, amused.
"Remember the space movie where the guy got stuck on Mars?"
Bucky stared at her for a moment. "... That guy looks nothing like me."
"Not Matt Damon!" she giggled. "One of the other guys. The one who had the baby with the girl in the end."
Bucky tried to remember the person she was referring to and finally just shrugged and said, "I don't remember. I'll just have to take your word for it."
"Gosh, you are an old man," she teased, leaning in and giving him a short but sweet little kiss. He chuckled and then pulled her back when she tried to pull away, kissing her more deeply and over and over until she broke the kiss with a breathless, "Stop. The girls are being disturbingly quiet and we gotta get up. Lots to do today."
"That's right," he smiled. "Becca's birthday's today."
"Yep. And you're getting me behind schedule," she said, patting his chest and attempting to get up. When he simply pulled her back down, she playfully smacked him again and giggled, "Oh my gosh, stop! I have balloons to blow up!"
He raised an eyebrow. "I can think of at least ten dirty things I could say to that."
"Well, don't," she laughed. "Come on. Get up and help me decorate."
"Fine," he gave in, letting her go. But because she was a little tease, she rolled on top of him on her way off the bed, and when a light little push of her hips against his revealed a condition he'd been suffering with since he'd first pulled her into the bed, she giggled and he groaned.
"Looks like you're gonna need a cold shower first," she grinned, giving him one more kiss.
He scoffed. "Why would I do that when I could take a hot one instead and get myself off thinking about what I'm gonna do to you later, once everyone's asleep?"
Her blush was instant, and he loved how easily he could still make her blush after all the time they'd spent together.
"Well, um... okay. Just don't take too long," she said, rolling off of him and the bed, getting to her feet. "Lots to do!"
"Yeah, yeah," he smiled, watching her shoot him another grin as she sauntered away. He watched her until she disappeared from his view, at which point he let out a small, breathy chuckle and shook his head.
Yeah, life was pretty fucking great, he had to admit.
The rest of the day was a cheerful, busy blur, full of balloons and last-minute gift wrapping and Summer putting the finishing touches on the cake that she baked, because apparently store-bought cakes just wouldn't cut it. Rebecca was blissfully unaware of all the fuss, lost to all of it and really only caring about all the balloons. She and Adelaide had a balloon war while David helped Bucky tape up all the decorations, the happy birthday banner and lots of little dangling stars and hearts of many colors. Rebecca seemed to be partial to the colors green and purple, so most of the decor was split between those two particular colors, since Summer wouldn't have it any other way.
Steve and Natasha was coming later for the birthday party, Wanda and Tony too, and possibly a few of the others if circumstances allowed. Once everything was ready a full three hours early, Summer suggested they pass the time by taking the kids to the park and letting them run around to their heart's content until it was party time.
So, with his left arm disguised and his hair thrown up in a mildly careless bun, Bucky left their still-new house with the whole family in tow and headed to the park. They had moved in a few months earlier, when construction had been completed, and he loved living there as much as Summer did. It was tucked so far away from the rest of the world and was so quiet - in the nice way rather than the eerie way - and the fact that they were once again living where he had first found Summer just felt right.
He loved their new, slightly quieter life in Virginia. He was working again and was officially part of the team again, but his work was even more behind the scenes and clandestine than it had been the first time around. He worked with Steve at the new DC compound, helped train new (and terrified) recruits, led the occasional mission that Steve could only trust him with, and all in all, he was happy with his new job. Steve had him in the database as both Agent James Buchanan Barnes and as an Avenger, but Bucky still didn't consider himself the latter. Avengers were public figures that the world looked up to and kids idolized, and he was sure he'd never be that. He didn't want to be that. He was more than grateful and content with what he had, more than he had ever been before.
Being able to just get up and go to the park with his wife and kids was a luxury that he would never take for granted. So was getting to watch his little girl turn a year old.
With the girls in a double stroller and Summer pushing them down the sidewalk, Bucky walked by her side with David trailing in front of them, engrossed on a game on his phone. He was 12 now and increasingly independent, a fantastic student in both music and history and even math, thanks partially to Bucky's help on the subject. He still rarely spoke, and if he did it was usually to one or both of his sisters, but neither of his parents minded. He'd recently told them that he wanted to be a concert pianist when he grew up, and they had no doubt that he could do it.
Once they got to the park, the girls scrambled out of their stroller and ran off like lightning bolts to the playground. Adelaide whined and pulled on David's sleeve until he gave in and got off his phone to go push her on the swing, and Rebecca made herself at home in the sandbox, her usual preferred place at the park.
The best part of going to the park, Bucky thought, was watching Summer's inner kid come out once she got near the swings. She would get on the same one every time and have a blast swinging as high as she could go, sometimes squealing when he'd get behind her and give her a push that made the whole swing set shake.
It was the same park that she had frequented as a kid with her brother and grandmother, after her parents had died. She had happy memories there, and while it made her miss her grandma even more than it usually did, she loved going there and watching her kids run around just like she had at their age, and David before them. And Bucky just loved seeing her happy.
By the time that the kids had used up all their energy and the deadline for the party was fast approaching, the sun was hanging low in the sky and the already-cool temperatures were getting colder. Rebecca curled up in the double stroller with her little purple coat and fell asleep as soon as the wheels started moving again. Adelaide was next to succumb to the mighty pull of the toddler nap, and as the little family made their way home, Bucky listened to Summer ramble about her job and about four other seemingly unrelated topics.
"I just, I don't know. This telecommuting thing is tough sometimes. I'm so used to being there in the middle of the action, you know? But at the same time, I am able to get almost all my work done from here, and Pepper was amazing to let me keep my job even though we left New York. I just can't micromanage as much as I'd like to."
"Maybe that's a good thing," Bucky shrugged as they walked. "Nobody likes a micromanager."
"Psh, my assistants love me," Summer scoffed with a good natured laugh. "Even when I make them go to ridiculous lengths to make sure everything turns out exactly how I want."
Bucky smiled and then couldn't help but say, "You're amazing, you know that?"
She smiled back and met his gaze. "Oh really?"
"Yeah, really," he smiled back. "How you work and write and cook and keep the house up is just... I don't know how you do it."
Summer's smile grew even warmer and she looked away, shaking her head slightly. "I don't know either, honestly. I just do it all and hope for the best."
He smiled back and wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning in close to press a kiss to her neck and make her giggle. Then, when he raised his head back up, he spotted a mm on the other side of the street looking their way as he walked in the opposite direction as them. The man quickly looked away, and Bucky told himself to stop being paranoid and checking the perimeter every five seconds. But old habits died hard and that was one he'd never quite been able to shake.
One block later, there were two more people who glanced their way before moving on, this time a man and a woman. Bucky told himself once again that nothing was wrong and that he was making himself worry for no reason, but something felt strange in his gut. And he had learned long ago never to ignore his gut.
More than halfway home now, he simply kept walking and kept subtly checking their surroundings, without saying anything and needlessly worrying Summer or David. He was nearly convinced that the coast really was clear and that it had all been in his head when they stepped off a curb to cross the street. But the minute his foot hit the pavement, a black nondescript car suddenly zoomed directly in front of them and hit the brakes, making Bucky freeze with alarm and Summer let out a small scream of very understandable surprise and fear. The car was within an inch of the stroller carrying their two littlest kids.
Then, before either of them had a chance to breathe, more cars came and skidded to a halt, boxing them in on the corner of the curb. Bucky acted quickly, throwing David behind him first and then Summer and the stroller, shielding them and watching as the cars opened and gun-wielding men began to pour from them.
They advanced on the little family quickly, shouting in Russian that only Bucky could understand. Most of the men were masked, yelling at him to put up his hand and get on the ground or else they'd put a bullet in each of the people who were with him. The noise awoke both Adelaide and Rebecca with a start, both of them opening their wide eyes and staring at the situation in complete bewilderment.
Bucky put up his hands, icy cold fear and shock mingling with adrenaline as he immediately began to analyze the situation from a tactical perspective. There were about ten men present, all of them armed to to their teeth, likely Russian intelligence or perhaps hired mercenaries for whoever wanted Bucky dead this time. He could take them out no problem, but the issue was the fact that Summer and their children were directly behind him and hideously vulnerable.
"Summer, you know that thing we practiced?" he asked under his breath.
"Y-yeah," Summer replied shakily, her voice as unstable as her entire body.
"Count to three and do it."
She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath as she counted to three, and then she reached under the back of Bucky's jacket and grabbed the gun that was hidden in a special holster that was built into all of his jackets. She then exhaled and aimed around Bucky, firing the trigger four times and hitting three of her targets before they even had a chance to see where the gunfire was coming from. Then, in a move that they had practiced many times, she tossed the gun up into the air and he caught it by the handle, taking over from there as he started firing and the men started firing back.
"Get out of here, run!" he yelled to both Summer and David, and they immediately scrambled to obey as the fight truly began. More men descended out of nowhere, from across the street and behind a number of houses, all converging on him and trying to subdue him but not kill him. They were there to capture him, which was possibly even more concerning than a simple assassin situation.
Two men with automatic weapons stopped Summer and the kids from escaping. One grabbed David and the other went for Summer, who screamed as loudly as she could and distracted Bucky, making him turn his head and look just long enough to get hit hard in the back of the head with the barrel of a gun.
He hit the ground in a daze, catching himself on his left hand and then forcing himself to look up towards his family. What he saw - Summer being held by a man nearly twice her size and David struggling against his own captor, both of them with guns to their heads as Addie and Rebecca both screamed and cried from their stroller in terror - it sparked a blistering rage in him that he felt in his very bones.
"Let them go," he growled, getting back up to his feet. "You want me, not them. Let them go and I'll go with you."
The man who appeared to be in charge paused before nodding to the men holding Summer and David, and they let them go. Summer immediately grabbed David with one arm and the stroller with the other, looking on in horror as Bucky was shoved down to his knees on the pavement.
It was happening again, only this time Bucky wasn't being arrested by the U.S. government. He was being taken by a nameless and faceless group of highly trained Russians who obviously had clear orders to bring him in alive, and that meant that God only knew what kind of horrors were in his future.
And his entire family was there just to watch. His two little girls were so, so scared, their faces and cries unbearable, and Summer and David were both white as sheets as they watched Bucky being taken from them yet again. But this was the only thing that he could do to keep them safe.
His eyes locked with Summer's as they dragged him back up to his feet, he felt his heart shatter inside along with all the hope and joy that he'd spent the last year believing was real and could last. It could never last, not being who he was, and he just kept hurting her and the people he loved most. Over and over and over.
Then something happened that Bucky could have never in a million years foresaw or prevented. David, on the verge of hysteria and full of panic and rage, tried to do something to save his dad from being taken away again. He lunged at the man closest to him and tried to grab the gun holstered at his side. He got both hands on the handle of the gun just as Summer screamed at him to stop, but he either didn't hear her or didn't care. He yanked on the gun, and the man yanked back, pulling the gun free and causing a struggle to ensue.
"David, no!" Bucky yelled, hoarse and horrified, but it was too late to stop it. David inadvertently aimed the thing at himself and the much stronger man grazed the trigger with two fingers. A shot rang out and the whole world stood still as David's brown eyes went wide with shock and all the blood drained from his face.
The sound that ripped out of Bucky's throat was utterly inhuman as his son, his precious little adopted son who had been his for seven years, hit the ground with a hole in his chest and bright red blood pouring out of it. He barely heard Summer's own scream, didn't see her face twist into an unbearable mixture of shock and horror and complete brokenness, and he missed the way that Adelaide stopped crying entirely as she stared dumbfounded at her brother's body on the pavement. He missed it all because he then roared with fury and shock and whipped around, breaking the restraints they'd put on his wrists and snapping the necks of the two men who had been holding him.
He was out of control. He killed them all one by one in the most brutal but efficient of ways, literally punching a hole into a few of their chests and smashing the skulls of others. He didn't stop until they were all dead and in lifeless piles all around them, the street now quiet save for the chest-racking, inconsolable sobs of a mother who had just lost her firstborn child.
Bucky moved forward numbly and dropped on his knees in front of Summer, who was cradling David's limp and pale body and letting out the kind of bone-deep and excruciating cries that only a grieving and shocked parent could. Her hands were covered in his blood, her whole life shattered and destroyed right there in the middle of the street, and another life that had possessed endless potential and talent and so much love was gone.
It was his fault. It was his fault. Bucky had done this. It was him. It was always him, he had always put them in danger, and now the unthinkable had finally happened. His little boy was gone. Summer's little boy was gone.
He was gone.
"No," he whimpered, his voice barely recognizable under the weight of his grief. "No... no, no, God please, no..."
No no no no no...
His vision blurred at the edges and he could feel himself falling. He knew he was losing consciousness, knew that it was all too much, wished that he wouldn't wake up and that he could just cease to exist along with David, like he deserved.
No no no no no no.
"Bucky?"
He could hear her voice, but he didn't think it was real because it was steady and she wasn't sobbing. She sounded calm, like herself, and not like she had just watched her firstborn child be murdered before her.
"Bucky, wake up. You're dreaming. Wake up."
His eyes flew open and he shot up with a strangled, horrified, throat-burning cry. His eyes were wide with confusion and panic, darting around the room - his bedroom - and finally landing on Summer, sitting next to him in bed and watching him with nothing but concern etched on her face.
"Calm down," she told him quietly, reaching out to soothe a hand over his arm. "Whatever it was, it was just a dream. It wasn't real."
It wasn't real.
He let out a groan that quickly turned into a sob as he dropped his face down into his hands and cried. It had been so real, so incredibly, horribly real, but it wasn't. It had all been in his head. David was alive. Everyone was safe.
But he still felt that pain in his heart, as vividly as if a knife was being plunged into its center over and over, and he couldn't help but succumb to that emotional overload and let it run its course. Summer, having no idea what in the world he dreamed to have affected him so unprecedentedly badly, reached out and held him in her arms and soothed him until he calmed down.
He could still see David, still see the moment the bullet hit him, could still feel the rage and hatred he'd felt as he ripped the men apart like an animal. He could still see it all as clearly as anything else in front of him, and he knew that he would never forget it.
But he had to let it go. It was a nightmare - worse than all the others he had ever experienced - and thank God that was all it had been.
In reality, he was in his and Summer's newly built house. All of the circumstances of his dream were still true. It was Rebecca's first birthday today, and if was also his day off. In fact, he had slept in until 11 - a personal record for him - and while he had been dreaming of the worst thing imaginable, Summer had been keeping the girls happy and occupied so they wouldn't wake him the way they had in the dream.
"It's okay," she cooed, running her fingers through his sweat-soaked long hair and gently rubbing his back, just like she would for one of their kids. "Everything's fine, I promise."
"Where's David?" he asked, face half buried in his own hands and half in Summer's shoulder. He knew that he was fine, but he just... he just needed to hear the words.
"He's in the music room," Summer replied in slight surprise, "playing piano like he always does in the morning. Can't you hear?"
Just like he had in the dream, Bucky paused and listened. When he heard the sound of the piano playing, he let out a deep breath of relief and nodded. "He's okay."
"... Bucky, what did you dream?" Summer asked in slight horror.
Bucky finally raised his head at that point, wiping his eyes and nose with the back of his right hand and shaking his head. "I"ll never put it in words. Don't ask me to. I can't. I can't -"
"Okay," Summer nodded, briefly putting up her hands in surrender. "Okay. I won't ask you to. I'm sorry. I just..."
He looked up at her, finally meeting her eyes and seeing a flash of her from his dream, of her sitting on the sidewalk, her face almost unrecognizable in her grief and incomprehensible sounds leaving her mouth as she cradled...
He pulled her close and wrapped her in his arms, squeezing his eyes shut as he held her and swore to himself for the thousandth time to never let anything like his dream happen to her or their children in real life. She was his world - his family was his world - and his chief purpose in life was to protect them and keep them safe. He would die trying if he had to.
"I love you," he murmured against her ear, meaning those words with every fiber of his being.
"I love you too," she replied, still a little bewildered but understanding the gist of what had happened. She knew what it was like to have nightmares too terrible to say out loud. She still had them herself, in fact. They had both been through too much in their lives to not carry pieces of their traumatic memories with them and sometimes, while they slept, have them manifest in unspeakably terrible dreams.
It was just the nature of being survivors. The key was still managing to get out bed and face the day each morning, not letting the fear and the anxiety and the horror of it all incapacitate them and keep them from living their lives. It wasn't always easy, and sometimes it was damn near impossible - especially that particular morning, for Bucky - but it wasn't in either of their natures to give in or give up. So they didn't, even when it was harder than it ever should have been.
When they drew away from each other, Summer let out a soft breath and tucked some of his hair behind his ear. "Let's get out of bed, okay? Breakfast is done and I saved you some coffee. We can eat out on the deck if you want some fresh air."
Bucky nodded. "Yeah. Okay." Then he paused and took a deep breath, pushing his hair back on his head with both hands before exhaling and adding quietly, "I'll be there in a minute. Something I gotta do first."
"Okay," she nodded, leaning in and leaving a small, sweet kiss on his lips before carefully making her way out of the bed. Once she was standing, she looked back down at him and asked with a frown, "Are you sure you're okay?"
"No," he laughed hollowly, just a breathless, humorless sound. "But I will be."
Summer understood that on a level so deep that it hurt. She knew that he knew this, so she offered him a small smile and a nod before turning and leaving.
He let out a deep, tired breath and closed his eyes. He hated mornings like these. But the only way to move on and feel better was to get up and get going, and that was exactly what he did, making one very important pit stop along the way.
After getting up and getting dressed and already feeling a little more human thanks to the act of simply moving and getting ready for the day, Bucky quietly made his way to the room that housed his piano and a few other instruments that David had expressed interest in over the last few years. The piano was still David's first love, however, and when Bucky quietly pushed open the already-open door and peeked inside, he felt that sense of peace return to him that he had been waiting for since his nightmare had ended.
David looked up at him when he noticed him standing there, but his fingers didn't pause once. Instead he simply smiled and scooted over on the bench in a wordless, familiar invitation that Bucky accepted without blinking. It was their own little tradition, something they'd been doing for nearly six years now, and while David had long surpassed Bucky in skill and really was on his way to his dream of being a concert pianist, it didn't mean that either of them enjoyed playing together any less.
And when they finished their little impromptu duet, when Bucky gave David a hug that was a tad longer and tighter than usual, David didn't question it.
Bucky was going to hug everyone today a little tighter, he knew that much.
Then, after he finally made his way to the kitchen and sat down to eat breakfast with his family, the rest of the day took a much different direction than the one in his dream. While his dream had been almost unerringly perfect in how the birthday party had come together, real life was much more, well... real.
The birthday cake that Summer baked just after breakfast was inadvertently ruined when she misread the baking time on the recipe and burned it, which was a very rare thing for her to do. She blamed Loki the cat for the mishap, since he had brought a live mouse into the house and caused the Great Panic of the Year while the cake was just starting to burn and give off the telltale burnt scent. Summer had been too busy holding a screaming Adelaide and screeching at Bucky to just kill the vermin, but then David, ever the peacemaker, rescued the mouse and freed it outside rather than letting Loki continue to torture it or Bucky smash it with his fist.
Then, in a panicked rush, Summer started calling around different bakeries in town looking for a birthday cake decorated with green and purple that was already made and available right then. Upon finding exactly one offering such a thing, they all then piled into their SUV and kicked off the Great Birthday Cake Adventure of the Year.
After Summer's GPS on her phone led them to not one but two wrong locations, they finally found the damn bakery only to discover that the purple and green cake was actually a giant Buzz Lightyear-themed cake, complete with his grinning face right on the surface. While David might have enjoyed a Buzz cake, Rebecca had no clue who Buzz Lightyear was, so they were back to square one.
Five calls and two fruitless trips to other bakeries later, Summer finally found a solid purple cake that was girly and pretty enough to fit the bill. Then she bought green tubes of icing and little shiny candies to decorate it further, and then they all jammed back into the car to head home.
Except then the car wouldn't start, because the battery was dead.
An hour later, after roadside assistance had come and given them a jump, they were finally back on the road. By then the kids were starving, so they got drive-thru and then parked so Summer could nurse Rebecca in the car while everyone chowed down. But then Adelaide's cheeseburger ended up lacking actual cheese and Summer's fries looked like they had been cooked some time back when Nixon had been in office, so Bucky was tasked with going in and getting everything fixed. He was typically loathe to go into a place so incredibly public, but he had his handy dandy impenetrable disguise of a baseball hat on hand, so he shoved it down on his head and headed inside.
After complaining - politely, of course - to the person at the front counter, Bucky shoved his hands in his pockets and waited off to the side as the two items were fixed. Nobody paid him any mind save for a little boy who was there in line with his parents and wouldn't stop staring at him.
Bucky glanced at the kid and quickly looked away, doing his best to ignore him. The kid was maybe 7 or 8 and, upon closer inspection, was wearing a Captain America t-shirt.
Great. He might have been spotted after all, even with the brilliant disguise on his head.
As the staff took approximately ten years to make a new cheeseburger, Bucky continued to ignore the kid with great determination. But he cracked when the parents walked by to get their cups filled at the drink station, leaving the kid standing there behind them just long enough for him to reach up and poke Bucky on the arm. On his metal arm.
Bucky looked down and the kid leaned up on the tips of his toes to whisper conspiratorially, "I know who you are."
Bucky stifled a groan and looked away. "I'm nobody, kid."
"You're Bucky," the kid whispered. "You're Captain America's best friend."
Bucky sighed and had opened his mouth fully prepared to tell the kid to scram when he then quickly added, "My mom and dad says you're bad, but they're wrong. It's not your fault you killed a bunch of people. You're a good guy, and your arm is awesome."
Bucky was dumbfounded, staring at the kid with his mouth slightly open, and then suddenly the kid's mother was rushing over and admonishing him not to talk to strangers while glaring at Bucky as if he'd been doing anything but just standing there. But the kid smiled and gave him the thumbs-up as he was dragged away, and Bucky couldn't help but smile back.
After grabbing the food when it was finally ready, he headed back to the car and got in with his smile still stuck on his face. "What's got you smiling like that?" Summer asked, intrigued since typically trips out anywhere resulted in him scowling and counting the minutes until he could get away from the public eye.
"Nothing," he shrugged, presenting her with her new fries. "Here. They upgraded you to a large."
"Ooh!" Summer grinned, taking the fries and devouring them in about two minutes while also instantly forgetting her plans to further interrogate her husband. She was a nursing mother, after all, and french fries were no laughing matter.
After they finally got home a little under an hour later, it suddenly hit Summer how far behind schedule she was, and Bucky beheld the woman in all her panicking glory as she ran around like a chicken with its head cut off getting everything ready for the party on time. Bucky and David helped where they could, both watching in somewhat horrified awe as she tore around and mumbled to herself and somehow ended up actually getting the whole thing ready on time, before the first knock on the door came.
She wasn't the head event planner at Stark Industries for nothing, after all.
More folks came than either Bucky or Summer expected. Steve and Natasha were the first to arrive, as per usual, and Addie and Rebecca both bypassed Steve in favor of clobbering "Aunite Nat" with hugs and kisses. David making a beeline for Steve made him feel a little better, however, although then he was laughing again when he tried to pet Loki and got hissed at in response.
After that, Tony arrived with Pepper and, the very minute he walked through the door, Rebecca's eyes lit up and she squealed with pure joy as she ran into his arms. Tony had finally achieved his goal of being the favorite of one of the kids, and he ate it up like candy (while, of course, gloating to Steve every chance he got).
Sam, Darcy, and Vision were all back in New York holding down the fort, but Wanda accompanied the others and made her first official trip to the new house. It had been a long time - too long - since she had even stepped foot inside of a real house, and David personally led her on a tour of the place and also quarantined her in the music room for awhile so that he could show off how much his piano skills had improved. They still communicated silently all the time, and she was still one of his very favorite people in the whole world. Definitely top five. He had once asked a few years earlier completely seriously if Bucky and Summer could adopt her and make her his actual sister, and when they said they couldn't, he had actually cried for a solid ten minutes.
But she was a part of the family in every way that truly counted. From her connection with David to the way that her and Bucky were bonded in ways that transcended logic thanks to the way they had lived through each other's memories during his Sputnik ordeal, not to mention how close she and Summer had also become over the last few years, she was one of them and that was just the way it was.
For two people who each had so little family to speak of, Summer and Bucky were more grateful than mere words could express for every last person who came to watch their little girl turn one. The ones who couldn't come sent gifts, and Paul, who still had a few years left in his fellowship in New York, got on Skype with Sarah and a handful of their kids to watch the best parts of the party - the opening of presents and the Great Cake Smashing.
But, as was the case with a lot of one-year-olds, Rebecca wasn't especially interested in actually opening the presents, and when Summer put her in her high chair with the cake right in front of her, Rebecca merely stared at it before quickly growing bored and trying to crawl out of the highchair. When Summer took Rebecca's tiny hand and dipped it into the cake, trying to coax some kind of reaction out of her, that only made the poor child burst into tears. Bucky picked her up and rescued her while playfully scolding Summer for being such a mean mother.
As Bucky consoled Rebecca following the let-down of a cake smashing, Summer sighed and then nearly screamed from being startled when there was a sudden very loud and nearly destructive knock on the door. Everyone whom she had been expecting had already arrived, but when she left the kitchen and spotted the bright blonde head smiling on the other side of the front door, she let out an excited squeak and ran to it and threw it open.
"Thor!"
"Am I late?" Thor laughed, catching Summer when she jumped in his arms and gave him an enthusiastic hug.
"No, not really," she replied, letting him go and pulling him inside. "You missed the cake part, but she didn't really want it anyway, so..."
"Ah, cake! Did you make it?" Thor asked excitedly, only to watch Summer's face fall and shake her head.
"No... it's store bought," she admitted with slight shame. "Today's been one disaster after another. I burned the cake I made and then the car wouldn't start and... yeah, but anyway, holy crap! You came!"
Thor grinned and followed her into the dining room, where all the others were. "Of course I did! And I brought a gift for the little one!"
As soon as Thor's booming voice was heard, familiar chaos followed. The kids all freaked out and jumped on him, all the adults greeted him loudly and received hugs that nearly left them paralyzed, and Paul and Sarah - still watching on Skype from a laptop propped up on the table - whistled and catcalled at the Asgardian until he took notice and then roared with laughter.
Nothing was ever quite complete without Thor, and his constant absences made Summer enjoy his visits all the more. But Rebecca didn't know him nearly as well as her siblings, and when she spotted his tall frame and heard his deep, rumbling voice, she turned her face into Bucky's chest and hid from him, even when he tried to present her with a gift.
"Ah, she's a shy one," Thor chuckled, handing the little present to Bucky. "I won't try to force it if she's not comfortable. But I will win her over one of these days."
"Yeah, well, I've already claimed the title of favorite, so don't get any ideas," Tony warned. "By the way, what is that thing?"
Pointing to the toy in Bucky's hand, Thor replied, "It is a rattle! Now, I know that she is possibly too old for such a trinket, but it is no ordinary rattle. On the top, you will see, is a little mirror." Bucky looked at the little circular mirror, and then Thor instructed, "Shake it."
Bucky did, and then his eyes widened in surprise when suddenly Summer was looking back at him, smiling as if in a picture. "Uh..."
"See? It is enchanted to show the person using it the people they love most," Thor explained cheerfully. "It's a common gift for infants in my world because it offers quite a bit of comfort when the child is separated from their parents or anxious. They shake it and see their mother and father, brothers and sisters and so on."
"Holy frick," Summer said, darting just behind Bucky so she could see the mysterious rattle. "So it's a toy with a magic mirror?"
"Yes, essentially," Thor beamed.
Bucky shook it again, and this time he was looking at the smiling faces of all three of his kids. "... It's like the moving pictures in Harry Potter!" Summer gasped softly. "I want one!"
Thor chuckled, "Well, it works for whomever is currently holding it, so you can certainly share with her."
"It's kind of a dangerous idea, if you think about it," Natasha mused. "If you ever thought you were being cheated on, that thing would be a good way of testing your partner."
"Yeah, don't let Steve shake it," Tony nodded to Nat. "Instead of you, it would show Barnes. Covered in whipped cream. Maybe a banana too, God only knows where."
While Bucky and Steve both rolled his eyes, Thor said, "It doesn't show obscene images. Though... there are certain items made for adults that are more... questionable."
Bucky was the first to raise an eyebrow and ask, "What kind of items?"
"Yeah, what kind of stuff are we talking here?" Tony asked.
"Nothing I can speak of in our current company," Thor smiled. "Although one day soon, perhaps you can all find out for yourselves." When everyone merely eyed him in slight confusion, he added with an increasingly enormous smile, "I have news."
"What news?" Summer gasped. She was doing a lot of gasping that day, it seemed.
"I am getting married!"
Summer's jaw dropped, along with the jaw of almost everyone else present. "You are?!" she blurted.
"To who?" Steve asked, looking more confused than he had about anything in a long time.
"Jane Foster?" Tony guessed. "Hot space nerd lady?"
Thor's smile faltered a little at that, and he shook his head gently. "No, we... she and I parted ways some time ago. You all remember Lady Sif, yes?"
David nodded vigorously. He remembered her from one of his birthdays, specifically the one where Thor dressed up as a princess and they all had a massive water gun war. Sif had come for a visit, and he would forever remember her as a tall and terrifying but incredibly kind lady from space.
"Well, she and I have been close friends since we were children, and I'm ashamed to say that I was rather oblivious of her feelings for a very long time. While I had conquest after conquest, being the arrogant Prince that I was, she was always there for me despite my idiocy. My mother always wanted us to be together, and ever since she passed... more and more I have come to realize how right she was."
"Sounds like something from a movie," Natasha grinned. "Congratulations."
One by one, everyone echoed Natasha's sentiment, and Summer went a step further and gave him another excited hug before asking the next question on everyone's minds. "So, when's the big date?"
"Well, let's see, adjusting for how time passes here on Midgard... four months' time," he smiled.
"That soon? Oh wow, you guys must have epic wedding planners in Asgard."
"Of course!" Thor laughed. "Perhaps when you meet a few of them, you can trade tips."
Summer smiled before furrowing her brows in confusion. "Wait, what?"
Thor laughed as if she was a small, confused child and proclaimed, "You are all invited, of course!"
Summer then proceeded to scream with such excitement, she was fairly sure that she hadn't made such a noise since she had seen Justin Timberlake in concert as a teenager. She actually jumped up and down a little bit - Bucky laughing at her enthusiasm while also staring at her chest, because, well, she was jumping up and down - and then she hugged Thor again, kissed him on the cheek, and exclaimed, "Oh my God, this is the best day ever! I can't believe it's finally happening! We're going to Asgard!"
Thor smiled brightly at her joyous, silly outbursts, growing even happier thanks to her happiness. "Yes, I am just as thrilled as you are. Not just because soon I will be wed, but because I will finally get to bring my friends to my world. I can hardly wait."
Summer rocked back and forth on her heels, only vaguely noticing David standing next to her doing the same thing. He was just as excited as she was, if not more, and he almost looked like he was going to pass out from sheer exhilaration.
Bucky simply smiled and watched his wife and son mutually freak out, loving seeing them so happy and excited. He was excited too, being from a time where the idea of space travel was laughed at and the idea of a place like Asgard actually existing was unheard of. Now Bucky, who used to be just a kid from the early 20th century trying to get by and make something of himself until he literally fell into the wrong hands, was gonna get to literally travel across the universe on a rainbow bridge and visit an alien planet.
Damn the future was weird. He had expected flying cars and he got the Bifrost instead.
The rest of the party went by in a happy, joyful blur, everyone brimming with excitement over the prospect of visiting Asgard and watching Thor marry his lady. Tony was excited to find out that weddings in Asgard were basically week-long parties, or revels as Thor called them, and that since Thor was a Prince, the party would be even more insane. Natasha found the prospect of visiting a place where the citizens didn't automatically distrust her and view her as an untrustworthy double agent at best quite refreshing, and Steve already planned on bringing a lot of paper so that he could sketch everything he saw. Wanda was just as excited, though she wished that her brother was still with her so that he could come too. He would have adored it and probably challenged all the finest warriors to races they had no hope of winning, just so he could be a jerk and laugh at them about it.
Summer, meanwhile, was simply vibrating with pleasantly nervous energy all night long. She eventually bade the guests farewell, including Thor who hitched a ride to New York on Tony's jet rather than simply fly there himself, and she gave them all extra tight hugs for coming and sharing her sweet little daughter's first birthday with her. Her cheeks ached from smiling so much, and she could still hardly believe that she was really going to Asgard.
After throwing away all the torn wrapping paper and various trash that inevitably followed a birthday party, Summer got the two little ones in the bathtub and got them ready for bed. Bucky put away all of Rebecca's new toys - including a "baby's first bow and arrow" set sent through the mail from Clint, which was purple and decorated by him in Hawkeye stickers, because he was Clint - and even though David was a little too old for it now, he tucked him in bed and read him a story. He hadn't forgotten about his nightmare from that morning, and he did it more to comfort himself than anything else.
It was nearly midnight by the time all the kids were finally asleep. David had his own room to sleep in, and Rebecca had in the last few weeks graduated to a crib in a room that she shared with Adelaide. She still woke up once or twice a night to nurse, but the girls' room was right next to Summer and Bucky's and it wasn't too much of an ordeal to go in and grab her and then put her back to bed once she was happy and snoozing again. Some nights she still slept in their room, snuggled in Summer's arms or lying in the middle between her parents, but for the most part, she was adapting well to sleeping on her own.
And so, with all of the kids knocked out, Summer dragged herself to her own bed where Bucky was already waiting for her. She flopped down on her back and stared at the ceiling wide-eyed as she said, "We're going to Asgard."
Bucky chuckled and reached for her, pulling her close against his chest and kissing her temple. "You're gonna be saying that nonstop for the next four months, aren't you?"
"Well, yeah, because... we're going to fricking Asgard!" she exclaimed with a laugh. Then her smile fell. "Oh God. I don't have anything to wear. What do they wear in Asgard? Like, the normal people? Oh man, I should have asked Thor. I need to go shopping."
Bucky chuckled again and shook his head. "You're gonna be fine. Don't worry about it."
Mind racing a mile a minute, Summer then said, "Think of all the people we'll meet. Oh my gosh. It's gonna be insane." Then she gasped and brought both hands to her face before dramatically whispering, "Loki! We're gonna meet Loki!"
"... I thought he was dead."
"No, he's alive, remember? Thor told us that like, forever ago. And ooh! Holy crap! We'll get to meet his lady, too! Aemilia. The one who made us all the potions! I might never be able to sleep again, I'm that excited."
"Oh my God," Bucky laughed. "Calm down. They're just people."
"No they're not," Summer argued. "They're Asgardians. Hot Asgardians. I mean, I haven't seen her, but since Loki's... just... beautiful, I assume she's crazy hot."
"I still don't get your thing with him," Bucky shrugged. "Seriously. There's nothing that great about him."
"Well, when we see him in person, you're gonna see how wrong you are. And then you'll finally have to admit that he's hot as frick."
"20 bucks says I won't," Bucky replied.
"You're on," Summer said, shaking his hand to seal the deal. "Nobody can honestly look at that man and say he's unattractive. Not even you."
Bucky shook his head. "Nope."
"Yep."
"Not gonna happen."
"It's totally gonna happen." She then gulped and said, "How the heck am I supposed to meet him and actually speak? I can barely talk as it is. I'm probably gonna take one look at him and be like 'Hi, I'm Summer, I named my cat after you and used to have super inappropriate thoughts about you after you tried to literally conquer my planet and yes, I'm a psycho.' I'm doomed."
"You're not a psycho," Bucky replied, though he didn't argue the doomed part. "You were just deprived and lonely, and... you always have a thing for the bad guys when we watch movies, so..."
"Yeah, God help me, I do," she sighed before turning and lifting herself up on an elbow, smiling down at him. "But I married me a good guy, so that's what counts."
Bucky still after all this time didn't always feel like a good guy, but she had a way of making him feel a little better about himself that kept him hanging on her words like a lifeline at times. This time, he just smiled softly and pulled her down for a kiss. It was gentle and sweet and he somehow wasn't expecting her to deepen the kiss after a moment, sliding her leg between both of his and crawling on top of him fully as her tongue snuck its way into his mouth and made him groan.
"Thought you'd be tired after everything that happened today," he murmured when she started trailing losses across his jaw and along his neck, sending little sparks of pleasure up and down his spine.
"I am, but I've also got all this nervous energy that I need to burn," she said, lifting up her head and shooting him a grin. "And I know a pretty good way of doing that."
"Yeah?" he teased before wrapping his left arm around her waist and easily flipping them over, putting her on her back underneath him as she giggled at the change. "Need me to help you blow off some steam, huh?"
"Well," she blushed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You're so good at it, so..."
He smirked and then brought his lips to hers again, kissing her deeply and with a passion that time had yet to put a damper on. He couldn't imagine a time where he would ever not want her like this, and Summer, of course, was eternally smitten with him in every way a woman could be. Whenever things between them would threaten to get a little boring or routine, they would always find a way to spice it back up and make things interesting again, and speaking of that...
"Know what I'm looking forward to about going to Asgard?" Bucky asked, kissing under her ear as his hand slid sensually along her skin up her shirt.
"What?" she giggled.
"Sex in space," he replied, and they both cracked up before the passion between them got the better of them, and then they were lost to the love and comfort and satisfaction that they had only ever found in one another, and one another alone.
Life was good. No, it wasn't perfect, and sometimes it was damn hard, but that was true of any life that was worth living. They had faced insurmountable odds in so many ways, from simply finding each other when they had been born 70 years apart to staying together when the world did its very best to rip them away from each other for good.
So while nightmares still came at night and their pasts continued to haunt them, and the threat of new trouble always loomed on the horizon due to the very nature of who they were, they wouldn't let it stop them from living and finding happiness in each other and the little people they had created. The life and the home that they had made for themselves had been worth every trial and every obstacle they'd faced along the way, and the thought of a life without the other in it simply wouldn't be living at all.
They still had their whole lives ahead of them, and a future that could bring anything, both good and bad. Whatever came, they'd face it together, and they knew that they would make it because chances were that they had already faced much worse before.
The next stop on their journey together was Asgard. They couldn't wait.