AN: Thankyouthankyouthankyou to everyone that has taken the time to review, favorite, and alert – you're all amazing and you make my day. I'm happy so see that people are enjoying Nora and her story, and I'm pretty relieved that most of you seem to find Bellamy&Co in-character. We're getting closer to the end of Part 1 (S01), so get ready for a bumpy ride! Without further ado, Chapter7, hope you all enjoy it! – RJL

CHAPTER SEVEN

Are you lost?
Running circles around, always trying to fight the feeling
Oh, but just falling down
Is it the end of faraway sounds
I've been howling, howling, never reaching distant ground

Did you give up when they shot you down?
Always trying to fight the feeling, but just falling,
Is it the end or maybe the start,
Of something you never thought could happen in a million stars

Safe Dream – Tep No

BEFORE

She felt like she was going to be sick all over the Blake's floor as she paced back and forth, glancing apprehensively towards the door every few steps. Nora's mind raced as she tried to calm her nerves, but she hadn't been able to relax for nearly twenty four hours. She played with her hands as she paced, occasionally biting her nails or twisting her grandmother's ring as she tried to keep herself busy. Bellamy had left over an hour ago and she didn't understand what was taking him so long.

Neither of the Blake women were handling the wait any better than her. Aurora rearranged their small stock of rations in the cupboards while Octavia read a book but hadn't turned a page in over ten minutes. Just as Nora was sure they would all explode from impatience, they all looked to the door as three sharp knocks sounded and Bellamy let himself into the apartment.

No one spoke as all three women stared at him, each holding their breath. Nora saw the disappointed look in his eye and felt her heart drop. So, that was it then. Her shoulders fell as she looked to the ground, trying not to cry in front of everyone.

"Well, what happened?" Octavia nearly yelled, clamping a hand over her mouth to quiet herself, looking to the door in fear for a moment.

Bellamy let out a sigh and nervously looked at each of them, noting how tense they all were. Nora closed her eyes and braced herself for the terrible news, waiting for him to tell her what she already knew. She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up so soon, she should have known better. Hope for success but prepare for failure. She would have been less disappointed.

"We both passed."

Her eyes shot open in shock to see him beaming at her, laughing loudly at her expression. Aurora let out a cry of relief and smiled at him proudly, pulling him into a tight hug. Nora let out a weak laugh and pointed a finger at him as Octavia happily spun her around in a hug. She felt light headed and giddy with excitement, the dread of waiting to get the results of their Academy entry exams suddenly gone.

"You're terrible!" Nora exclaimed, returning the tight hug of his sister.

She couldn't believe that she had actually done it. The test had been a grueling six hours followed the next day by a full physical performance exam. They had studied for almost a month in preparation along with two hours of combat training every day. Out of the thirty candidates that would apply for the Academy, they would choose ten for a life in the Guard. Out of thirty candidates they had chosen her.

"You should have seen your face," he said with a wide smile. He patted her on the shoulder and fell into one of the dining chairs with a small sigh. He laughed again and held out a hand to her, congratulating her. "Welcome to the Guard, Cadet Bishop."

"Congratulations, Cadet Blake," Nora replied, clapping her hand into his with a smile. She couldn't believe it and doubted she would until she saw the results herself, but was bursting with pride. Their hard work had paid off and finally they would be able to start making some kind of difference.

"I can't believe you guys are both gonna be in the Guard," Octavia said, taking a seat at the table as Aurora started putting together something in the kitchen. She pulled her legs up onto the chair, resting her chin on her knees with a thoughtful look. "I mean, you guys aren't exactly stand-up citizens."

"Hey!" Nora said, looking slightly offended.

"Says the illegal," Bellamy reminded with a small smile, but couldn't help but finding himself agree. "But maybe that's something we'll be able to change."

"I think you both will make great additions to the Guard and that they're lucky to have you," Aurora cut in as she set down a bowl of mashed soy beans and plate of tofu on the table. Taking a seat, she send a pointed look in her daughter's direction. "Maybe we should remember how hard both of you worked to get such an amazing opportunity."

As she passed out plates and Bellamy stood up to get everyone a glass, Nora stood up and excused herself. "I should probably go tell my parents the news," she said, grabbing her bag off the floor and pulled on her boots. She stole Octavia's spoon and took a bite of her food, ruffling the girl's hair at her protest with a smile. Heading towards the door, she stopped as Bellamy stepped in front of her.

"We still on for later?" He questioned, voice lowering as he ignored the dramatic kissing faces his sister was making behind Nora's back.

"Sure thing, Officer," she replied with a smile, standing on the tips of her toes to land a chaste kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you at 2100."

She moved around him and opened the door, poking her head out to see if the corridor was clear. Seeing that it was, she turned to give the Blake's a quick wave and stuck her tongue out at Octavia before heading towards Alpha Station. She felt light as feather and had to keep herself from nearly skipping home, she was so excited to tell her parents the news. She couldn't believe that she had actually done it. For three months almost every second of her day had been spent studying for their exam and it had finally paid off.

She knew that she couldn't have done it without Bellamy. As they were preparing, he had been the one to keep them motivated. He was at her door every morning at 0500 to run laps around the Ark before forcing her to participate in four hour study sessions every evening. He quizzed her over breakfast, sparred with her to improve their hand-to-hand combat, and had even enlisted Octavia's help in ambushing her one afternoon to test her reflexes. Bellamy's reflexes were worse as he failed to avoid Nora's punch to the face in retaliation.

It didn't take long for her to reach her home and she burst in the door, barely waiting for the key card to register an authorization. She threw her bag into the corner, smile on her face as she hung up her coat and slipped off her boots.

"I got accepted!" She announced loudly, fighting to get off one of her boots and hobbled on one foot, finally kicking the boot off to go flying across the room.

She turned around and found her parents sitting at the dining table, her mother's hand in one of her father's as they both slowly looked up at her. She felt her stomach twist as she saw tear stains on both their faces, her mother's face ashen and pale. Time seemed to slow down as she realized something was terribly wrong.

"Nora, sweetie," her mother said, clearing her throat to strengthen her voice. Cole squeezed his wife's hand, doing his best to keep his face from showing how broken he felt inside. "Why don't you come sit with us, hm?"

"What's going on?" Nora asked, shaking her head and taking a step back, not liking the way that her parents were behaving. She felt a terrible feeling come over her as her dad blinked away a fresh wave of tears. "Did something happen?"

She knew that something had, she just couldn't determine what. Her parents had both been acting strangely over the last few weeks but she had selfishly assumed that it was in relation to her acceptance into the Academy. Her heart stopped as she worried for a moment if they had somehow found out about Octavia. Mind flashing, she tried to think if she had left her data-pad anywhere in the apartment but knew that she hadn't. Maybe they had followed her?

"I have cancer," her mother said quietly, turning her face in an effort to compose herself. Time seemed to slow dramatically. She took in a deep, shuttering breath and tried to put on a braver face. "Spinal cancer, to be more specific."

A tear fell down her mother's face as she tried to give her a reassuring smile but failed miserably. Nora stared at them both in shock, feeling like her world was suddenly falling apart at the seams. She saw her father start to speak but couldn't hear what he was saying as a loud ringing buzzed in her ears. 'Cancer' rattled around her head, bouncing against her skull painfully as she processed what the disease would mean for her mother.

Medical care wasn't like it was before the War, they didn't have unlimited supplies to provide for patients or the manpower to dedicate to someone with a terminal disease. She had watched a cursed few be diagnosed with cancer in the past, and couldn't imagine her mother looking lifeless and gray in her bed as she waited for the disease to take her. There wouldn't be much that Dr. Griffin would be able to do for her besides make her last days comfortable.

Nora took a step back, shaking her head before fumbling a hand behind her, reaching for her bag. Her vision blurred as her mind urged her to get away, to run somewhere safe. She ignored both of her parents calling after her as she fled the apartment, not even bothering to put on shoes before she was running through the corridors.

"I thought we had a date."

She paused at his voice, taking a moment to wipe the sweat off her brow before jabbing at the punching bag hanging from the ceiling above her. It shook from impact and swung away from her, bouncing on the chain and she landed another few hits. Her knuckles were becoming raw from the relentless workout over the last two hours. She had ended up in the Ark's gym, pouring all her emotions into the punches she threw at the bag.

Every impact into the worn exterior of the bag made the pain lessen, a fraction at a time. She couldn't get the image of her mother, her amazing, strong, fantastic mother, laying unresponsive in a med day bed, eyes glassed over and empty as she stared at the ceiling lifelessly. Hitting the bag, desperate to forget the image, she let out a frustrated cry as her form became sloppy and she hit the bag at an angle, sending a jolt of pain into her shoulder. She settled for kicking the bag away and stopped, chest heaving.

Bellamy walked around her, catching the beaten bag easily and held it out of reach, giving her a worried look. "Your dad said I would find you down here," he said, releasing the bag to hang lifelessly between them. He took a small step forward, stopping when she looked away, doing her best to bring her breathing back to a normal rhythm. "He told me about your mom," he said quietly, taking another step forward. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," she said with a sharp sniff, rubbing the back of her hand across her forehead, and shrugged. "You're not the Cancer Fairy."

"That's not what I meant," he said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at her. He closed the distance between them, reaching out a hand to rest on the side of her neck, brushing a thumb across her check. Her eyes fluttered shut as she leaned into his touch. "I'm sorry that you have to go through this," he said honestly, using his hold on her to pull her closer, bringing his arms around her to hold her tightly.

He kept his hold steady as she grew limp against him and started to cry. She buried her face in his chest, and he slowly lowered them both to the ground as her legs grew unsteady. He pulled her into his lap, tucking her head under his chin and slowly rocked her side to side, whispering comforting words into her hair. He had done much the same with Octavia when she was younger and suffered from night terrors and dreams that the Guard would take her away in the night.

Slowly he felt her relax in his arms and looked down to see her looking aimlessly towards the wall. Brushing a thumb across her cheek he caught her eyes before pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "We'll get through this, I promise. Everything is going to be alright."

Closing her eyes, she leaned heavily into him and let out a shuddering sigh, shaking her head. "Don't make promises you can't keep," she whispered.

AFTER

Nora was positioned against the back wall of the large room, a space of twenty feet between her and another guard, as they stood post watching the festivities. Unity Day was upon them as the residents of the Ark gathered in the main lobby of Go-Sci, excited to celebrate among their friends and family. October 1st marked the day that the twelve stations joined together to create the Ark, pushed along by fear of destruction after the thirteenth station was blown out of the sky.

She was restricted to light duty until Dr. Griffin said otherwise, and as such was not with the others getting the Exodus drop ship prepared for their launch. She'd argued that she was more than able to help load supplies into the ship, but Abby didn't listen to a word and sent her to CC for orders. She'd found Major Bryne, who had argued her ability to perform any duty in her current medical state, but had eventually sent her off to the main deck to guard the Unity Day festivities.

The morning started with a speech from the Chancellor followed by a presentation and pageant from the younger children of the Ark, telling the story of how the Ark was created. All through the day people would be roaming the corridors, moving through the different stations to partake in the different celebrations. There were skits being performed, traditional dishes made, and in the evening there was a dance for the older students.

Over the years the Unity Ball had provided many memories for Nora. Her first kiss at age thirteen, which had taken place hidden behind one of the support beams, hiding herself and Kyle Wick from the chaperones. Her first drink of spiked punch, provided by a group of Year Twelves, when she was sixteen. Her last dance that she attended as a participant had ended in a fight between two intoxicated students who were dragged to the Skybox to sleep it off.

The Unity Ball the year before had been the night that had ruined everything. It had started like any other Ball, the same mix of songs from the early 2000's playing from overhead speakers, air thick and warm from so many bodies dancing, and groups of kids sneaking off to get intoxicated in the lavatories. It had been her first year being a guard at the Ball and she had been caught in a wave of nostalgia, remembering when she was the one dancing rather than guarding.

Standing in almost the exact same place, she remembered watching as Bellamy fought to save his sister from Shumway and their fellow cadets. She had been frozen in place, watching in horror as Octavia was dragged away and Bellamy was forced to the ground, tremors running through his body from a guard's shock baton. The solar flare alarm's blare drowned out his anguished cry as he was arrested, able to do nothing as his sister was taken from him.

She was ashamed to remember how she had done nothing to stop them from being dragged away, Octavia to the Skybox to await execution and Bellamy to be stripped of his rank and dignity. She hadn't thought to warn Aurora, who would be surprised by the knock on her door that had led to her arrest and immediate execution. Guilt weighed heavily on her as she remembered watching Aurora being marched through the corridors, head held high as she ignored the stares of those who stopped to watch her final walk.

Nora had been forced into performing an inventory of the Ark's ration supplies at the time of Aurora Blake's execution. She had been banned from being a witness to her execution, by both her father and Major Bryne, who felt that distancing herself from the Blake's and their criminal activities would be best for her career.

As she stood post and watched the Chancellor give his customary Unity Day speech, her father standing proudly behind him, she couldn't help but feel bitter towards them both. The bitterness she felt towards them was nothing against her own self-loathing, but she knew that she wasn't the only one with Aurora Blake's blood on her hands.

"To our sons and daughters on Earth listening to this message, we will see you soon," Jaha's speech turned to include the remaining members of the 100 and Nora felt the bitterness turn to anger. The solar flare had knocked out the comms to the ground until the early morning, when engineering had been able to reconnect them in time to broadcast the Unity Day festivities. She had been denied a call to the ground because of the timing but told herself it didn't matter.

"The first Exodus ship will launch in under sixty hours, carrying you the reinforcements that you need, so stay strong. Help is on the way," Jaha said, giving the crowd a reassuring smile. People cheered and clapped, excitement in the air as he continued his speech.

Her heart beat faster as she realized that in sixty hours, she would be hurtling towards the Earth, forever leaving behind the Ark and her home. Gone would be the gray steel walls and endless blackness outside the small windows. No more recycled air, soy beans ration packs, or cold five minute showers. Soon she would be surrounded by landscapes she had only seen films, a place so distant and unimaginable it seemed almost like a fairy tale.

She had never thought that she would be so lucky as to be able to return to the ground. Hers was supposed to be a transitional generation, one that helped prepare her grandchild for their long awaited return to Earth. Instead, nearly a hundred years sooner than was expected, she and her fellow inhabitants of the Ark, were the lucky chosen few.

She scanned the crowd as Jaha ended his speech and introduced the children performing in the pageant. Nora didn't listen as the story began, having memorized it as a child when she was chosen as one of the flag holders. Her father had been disappointed that she hadn't been chosen as the lead, but she had felt proud to hold the Canadian flag and be a part of the pageant. Across the room, she saw Dr. Griffin conversing with Diana Sydney and frowned as the councilwoman excused herself and disappeared into the crowd.

Diana and her father and grown up together on Agro, both with a dream to change the Ark for the better and to create a better environment for the working class. Her father had been elected to the council during Diana Sydney's second term as Chancellor and her unyielding support of his candidacy had guaranteed his win. It hadn't been uncommon for Nora to come home from class to find Diana in their living room, pouring over a data-pad with her father, arguing over one council matter or another late into the night.

She had grown to respect the woman over the years, watching as Diana had gracefully accepted her defeat to Jaha and had put her efforts towards bettering stations individually. The safety regulations she had pushed for on Mecha had cut work-related injuries in half alone. Her father's alliance with Sydney had caused a rough relationship with Jaha, as he supported almost every issue she brought to the council and advocated on her behalf.

When Dr. Griffin had been caught in an illegal trades deal and stripped of her position on the council, Jaha had surprised most everyone by giving the open council seat to Sydney. It had given Nora hope when she had heard the news, thinking that maybe if Sydney and Jaha could join forces for the betterment of the Ark, then nothing would stop them from returning to the ground. Nothing else mattered to her except touching down and finding her friends.

Her eyes flicked around the room, coming into contact with her father's as he stared across the crowd at her, a sad look on his face. He had been waiting for her when she had awoken in Med Bay but had left shortly after and she hadn't seen him since. She knew that he was shaken by her attempted murder, but she didn't understand why he was avoiding her. She planned to stop by his quarters after the pageant and find out whether he planned to also be on the Exodus ship.

She knew that Kane would be going to oversee ground security and that nothing would stop Dr. Griffin from dropping to see her daughter, but she was unsure what her father planned to do. Knowing him, he would stay behind to ensure everyone would make it safely off before taking the last drop ship.

She gave him a small smile and a nod across the crowd, which he returned before looking away to watch the pageant begin. She hoped that he would take a spot on the first drop ship, if only so that she didn't continue to be pulled in two – part of her held anchored to the Ark and the comfort of her home and the other part to the ground, a place that held her hopes and dreams for a new beginning. Earth was a place where they would be able to start over, and they all deserved a clean slate.

"When all the stations were formed, they called themselves-"

The wall behind the podium exploded and Nora was thrown to the floor from the blast. Her ears rang as she coughed and looked around her, vision blurry. She heard screams and cries from those wounded nearby as the hole in the wall sparked from exposed wires. The stage was gone, pieces strewn across the room, a few people laying wounded from the shrapnel. Her heart sank as she looked to where her father had been standing moments before, finding the space empty.

And I know and I know I won't fall into the break of dawn
If this is the start of our safe dream, why am I still here?
Why am I still living?
If this is the start of our safe dream then why am I feeling so empty?