A/N: So this is like, half crack-fic, half actual fic...

G

"I'm not exactly lactating right now!"

Kurt and Blaine shot horrified looks at each other.

"Oh my god." Kurt hissed over the head of his five year old daughter.

Blaine had wide eyes. "Did you know that was in there?"

"I…" Kurt swallowed hard. "I knew I just…forgot!"

"We can't let our daughter watch this! She's five!"

"Shh Daddies."

Kurt and Blaine stared wide-eyed at her – wondering if she had understood, and if she didn't, what she thought it meant.

"Can we just...let her watch this?" Blaine asked in horror.

Kurt was shaking his head in disbelief.

"I can't... This is ... This is a children's movie!"

"I know!"

"That's it. We're going to have to start checking these movies before we let her watch them..." Kurt whispered.

"Daddy!" She glared at him. "I'm watching."

Blaine bit his lip. "The rest of it…should be okay." He whispered and Kurt nodded, worriedly waiting for a question from their daughter – what lactating was, what the sloth meant…

He shuddered with all the things that could go wrong with watching Disney – how much was implied. His mind went to all the movies – the things he remembered that he would overlook as a teenager – even now.

"We're going to have to check the rest of them." Kurt told Blaine in a whisper. "Make sure that they don't have anything that she shouldn't be watching in them."

"Disney marathon?" Blaine suggested, his eyes lighting up.

"I was thinking maybe just Googling them..." Kurt suggested, biting his lip.

Blaine looked disappointed, but nodded sadly.

^.^

"Aladdin is out." Kurt mumbled. "The Lion King too…and The Little Mermaid…."

Blaine groaned. "Ugh, those were my favourites…"

"Shrek and Cars…aren't Disney but...they've got the same problem..."

Blaine thumped his head on the table.

"A Bug's Life…Toy Story one and two and three…The Incredibles…"

Blaine sighed. "Look…maybe…maybe it'll be okay. I mean…we grew up on these movies, and we're fine…"

"Depends on what you call 'fine'. Maybe we have all of this... psychological trauma from watching these movies as children. We were sex-crazed when we were teenagers. What if we're inflicting the same trauma on our daughter! Do you really want to be responsible for that?" Kurt asked, starting to get slightly panicky.

"Maybe I do." Blaine shrugged. "Being sex-crazed wasn't a bad thing - we handled it well, I believe." He grinned, shaking his head. "But I don't remember anything about these movies being remotely scarring... Just that I loved them, and watched them over, and over and over again. So why don't we just let her decide?"

"But you know what she'll pick!" Kurt hissed, his eyes narrowed.

"And how is that such a bad thing? They are kids movies Kurt."

"But…" Kurt muttered, before sighing. "Fine…but if…if she starts asking questions before she has a Sex Ed class or hits puberty, you're the one who's going to answer them."

"Fine."

Blaine grinned happily.

Nobody could take Disney away from him.

A/N: Nice, FFN. Now, when I import a file, you take away any and all formatting I had on that document. Real nice.