AN: Glad to see happy readers! Please keep in mind that the timeline is a bit wibbly-wobbly due to the AUish nature of the fic. It's entirely due to my laziness to rewatch the episodes eighteen times to write the scene perfectly, and IMO I find that a bit exhausting as a reader. I hope that you all understand and enjoy my little play on things. Those of you who have reviewed, you're incredible human beings - you make my day! Thank you also to those following and have favorited - I'm honored! Please, enjoy! - RJL

CHAPTER NINE

Feeling like a million years
Rolling up have passed me by
I used to be green and careless
Now I'm seldom taken by surprise

Hey there, mama, you see me now?
Well, look how your boy's grown up
I used to be afraid of falling, now I couldn't give a fuck
But this is no funeral horn
What this is, is a return to form

Return to Form – Ciaran Lavery

BEFORE

She carried the storage container into the bathroom, swiping a hand to push in her toiletries off the counter. The items clattered against one another and were soon covered with a small towel she pulled off the bar on the wall. Clicking the light off behind her, she moved into the living room and started gathering more of her belongings. She didn't bother with most of her possessions, knowing that little would fit in the small personal footlocker she was allowed in the barracks.

Both of her uniforms were neatly packed into another crate along with her spare pair of boots. She took few civilian outfits but hesitated over a blue dress tucked into the back of her closet. Gently rubbing the fabric together between her fingers, she stared at it for a moment before pulling it off its hanger and folded it carefully. Tucking it underneath her uniforms, she looked around the room, wondering what else to take with her.

As she looked at the half-empty containers, she realized how little she owned and how even less she cared enough to take. Most of the pictures from the wall had been moved to Med Bay where they sat with her mother's bed side table. There were only two photos left on the wall, a class photo from her third year and a picture of her father's parents. She didn't see the point in having an old picture of herself and didn't want to take the other from her father.

Wishing that she had something to bring with her to make the barracks feel more like home, she knelt down beside her bunk and reached out an arm. Feeling around, her fingers brushed what she was looking for and she pulled out an old ammunitions box. Dusting it off, she smiled at the exterior paint job - bright yellow and green sunflowers, and pushed open the lid.

For her thirteenth birthday, Bellamy and Nora had spent a month putting together an extensive art supply for Octavia. They had bartered for all sorts of different mediums, from pencils and charcoal to watercolors and even a few oils. Bellamy had even managed to find an old briefcase that they refashioned as a carrier for all her supplies.

As repayment for her amazing gift, Octavia had created them all works of art. Bellamy received an oil painting of a knight in shining armor, poised to slay a fire-breathing dragon. Aurora's painting was of an elvish princess, elegant and beautiful in an elaborate gown as she overlooked a great battle being fought beneath her tower's window. For Nora's piece, Octavia had chosen to use charcoal and watercolors, painting her as a warrior princess with dark face paint and a large sword in hand.

Bellamy had complained that she looked more fearsome in her painting than he did in his, but she hadn't listened as she gushed over the amazing painting that Octavia had presented her. She didn't see herself as a fearless warrior but was humbled that her friend thought so highly of her, secretly wishing she could be more like the warrior portrayed. Afraid she would ruin the painting or worse that her parents would discover the identity of the artist, Nora had hidden away the painting beneath her bed for safe keeping.

Keeping secrets was no longer an issue and Nora unrolled the painting with a sad look. Tracing a finger over the harsh lines of charcoal, she remembered how excited Octavia had been to present her gifts, nervous to see her family's reactions. They had all been thoroughly impressed and each treasured their personal painting.

A knock at the door brought Nora to the present and she frowned, rolling the painting back up as she stood up. Stepping around the storage containers, she unlocked the door and was confused to see Diana Sydney on the other side.

"Good morning, Nora," Diana said as she showed her perfect teeth with a smile. "Sorry to bother you this early but you know how it is, work never stops. Is your father home, by chance?"

"I'm sorry but no," Nora said, opening up the door to let the older woman in and out of the busy corridor. She motioned her in and pushed aside one of the storage crates with her foot. "He left early this morning, I think he went to see Mom before he reported in," she guessed.

"Are you moving?" Diana questioned, closing the door behind her as she took in the apartment's disarray. A number of crates littered the floor, the small closet was open with clothes spilling out, and both the bunks were stripped of their sheets. The kitchen didn't look much better, with plates stacked up to the edge of the sink and creeping onto the counter. She had seen the Bishop's quarters in better conditions.

"I report to the barracks at 1100," Nora replied, continuing to move through the apartment, tossing possessions into one of the open crates without much thought. Remembering her face wash in the shower stall, she went into the bathroom to grab it, giving Diana a questioning look as she reentered the room. "Didn't Dad tell you?"

"Must have slipped his mind," Diana said quietly, moving to help Nora fold up her worn blanket. She took it out of the younger woman's arms, patting it down in one of the crates to protect the more breakable objects. "Is this because of what happened with Bellamy's mother?"

Nora paused in her packing but didn't immediately reply. It had been a week since Aurora's execution and the Ark was still buzzing from the excitement. She hadn't spoken to her father much in the way besides polite pleasantries and had yet to visit her mother, still too angry and ashamed to face either of them. When Bryne mentioned an opening in the barracks she had jumped at the chance, more than happy to have her own space for the first time in her life, and quickly started packing.

Shrugging her shoulders, Nora put the lid on a full crate, clicking it securely shut and faced a thoughtful Diana.

"I just think it's a good time to get some space," she said, bending down to pick up another crate to stack on the other. She put the lid on it as well and looked around the room, realizing that her packing was nearly complete.

"Space is good," Diana agreed slowly, tilting her head thoughtfully. "But don't distance yourself too much from the people who care about you. I'm sure your parents-"

"Dad's been pretty clear on how he feels," Nora cut in, tone turning bitter for a moment before she looked at Diana apologetically. Letting out a sigh, she drummed her fingers on the crate's lid. She didn't mean to take out her anger on Diana, she knew that woman meant well.

"This is for the best," she said in determination, nodding her head slightly. "The housing department has wanted us to move since Mom got admitted, anyway. Dad and I don't need all this space."

Her father would also soon be moving, to a smaller apartment in another residential quarter of Alpha. With him being the sole occupant of their current apartment, he was breaking the residential code concerning excessive space. The Jackson's would be moving in at the end of the week, occupying their space and making it their own. Cole had yet to start packing though there would little left in the apartment once Nora left, his wife's possessions already missing.

"If that's how you really feel, then I won't try to change your mind," Diana said with a small smile, patting one of the crates as she looked around the apartment. "Lot of memories in here, though. I can't believe how grown up you are."

"The Ark makes everyone grow up," Nora said, moving to the door to pull on her boots. She shrugged off the look Diana gave her and put on her jacket, latching the shoulder clasps. Looking down at her wrist, she cursed at the time her comm band read.

"I should really be going," she said, using a small hand cart to pick up her storage containers. She wheeled them to the door and heard Diana move to follow her out. Stopping to let her out, she took a moment to look back at the small apartment.

It was the only home that she had ever known, besides the feeling of refuge she had found with the Blakes. She had been three when her family had moved from Argo to Alpha station and she didn't remember their home there. All she had ever known were the gray walls of apartment A-78, the bed was the same that she had slept in for almost two decades. All her childhood memories took place there, her family had been the happiest within its walls.

But all that was over, moments left in the past. Her mother no longer slept in her own bed, her father almost never finding his way home in the evenings to sleep in his suddenly oversized bed. Nora, sharing her time between the Blake's and her home, only spent half her nights in her own. Even that had changed, since she could no longer spend time at the Blake's. Moving into the barracks had been the only solution she could see that wouldn't leave her with an overwhelming sense of loneliness.

"This is for the best," she repeated, more to herself than to Diana who stood beside her. With a final look, she closed the door to her former home, hearing it click shut behind her. Turning to Diana, she held out a hand to her. "Thanks for the advice, Di. You always know when I need it."

Ignoring her outstretched hand, Diana smiled at her and pulled her into a tight hug. Surprised, Nora stood frozen before returning the hug and gave her a small smile as they pulled apart. With a small pat on her arm, the blond moved around her and started to move down the corridor, hooking her arm through Nora's.

"I'll walk you to Go-Sci," Diana said as Nora fumbled to pull her hand cart behind her, almost tipping it before getting a proper hold. She fell into step with the older woman after a few paces.

"Didn't you need to talk to my dad?" Nora questioned, waving an apology as her cart ran over someone's foot in the busy corridor.

"Oh, don't you worry about that, sweetheart," Diana said with a bright smile, waving a careless hand in the air. She set it down to pat Nora on the arm reassuringly. "It's just work stuff."

AFTER

Nora and Major Bryne spent most of the morning searching the Ark for Councilor Sydney, but by early afternoon they were running out of leads. It seemed that the Ark had finally been broken in two as a result of the explosion and Nora was surprised by the number of people who were support of those responsible. Whether or not Diana was truly responsible had yet to be determined but her supporters still weren't talking. As soon as their uniforms were spotted, countless groups of people had turned back down corridors to avoid them, running when they attempted to speak with them.

By the afternoon they had only a few scattered reports of Sydney's whereabouts and even less to support her involvement in the bombing. Feeling defeated and at a standstill in their investigation, Bryne ordered them back to CC to check in with Kane and rest of the guard. As they made their way through the corridor, trying to ignore the people intentionally avoiding their gaze, Nora wondered who was truly in control of the Ark.

She knew that there was unrest among the Guilds, the political factions that helped decide what was brought before the Council and the ones that controlled the Unions from the individual stations. The Guilds provided station representatives that brought issues to the council or lobbied for station individuals, helping to make every voice heard.

In recent months, since Jake Griffin had been abruptly arrested for treason and executed, unrest had been felt in nearly every station. Jake had been a loud voice in support of the working class and his mysterious arrest left many with questions. The reason behind his execution had never made clear and many of the stations had seen it as deception from the council. Add that to the council's decision to send the 100 to the surface and it was a fine recipe for disaster.

The people no longer trusted their government, couldn't trust what the council told them when so many things didn't make sense. Nora couldn't blame them for their distrust, she felt the same towards her father and the rest of the council. She knew that they were doing what they thought was best for the Ark and the inhabitants, but she didn't agree with their methods. The people deserved to know what was going on, to have a voice in deciding how to proceed, and the council believed that the less the public knew, the better.

It was the blind leading the blind.

"Any leads?" Kane asked them when they reported in at CC.

The Command Center was filled to capacity as people searched for any answer to the morning's bombing. The front monitors were showing the diagnostics of the Ark, an unsettling amount of critical figures and red warnings flashing on screen. It seemed that power was fluctuating all over the Ark, sending some stations near critical low temperatures. Techs hurried around, yelling stat readouts as Sinclair tried to make sense of what all the data meant.

"None, sir," Bryne informed regretfully. She turned to face the monitors, frowning as she took in the information. "Anything on your end, sir?"

"Very little," Kane admitted, coming to stand at ease with his hands clasped behind his back. "It seems that the lock-down isn't one-sided. Information is costly, at the very least."

"So what do we know?"

"Sir!"

Kane turned as one of the officers on deck called for him, raising an eye brow as Diana Sydney came walking into CC. She looked concerned and held a data-pad in hand, holding it out for him to take. He kept his eyes on her as he took it, nodding two guards to flank both her sides. Diana gave him a hurt look and motioned him to look at the data-pad he held.

"My people identified the bomber," she explained, taking a step away from the two guards, moving closer to Kane. Her face was sad as she pointed to his picture in the file. "Cuyler Ridley, he lost his wife in The Culling."

Nora caught a glimpse of his face and felt sorry for him, knowing the anger that he felt. He was only one of many who had lost someone to The Culling, watched as they filled peacefully into Section-17 to take their final breaths. Three hundred and twenty souls had been taken, leaving behind countless loved ones and friends to mourn the empty spaces all around them. He wasn't the only one who had lost someone, but he was the only one that had taken something back.

My people.

Nora watched as Diana continued to inform Kane and Bryne of her information, face conveying concern and an urgency to deal with the terrorist. Kane didn't sense anything amiss, or at least wasn't letting Diana see that he was on to her, and Bryne was already planning what to do with the intel. She didn't look guilty, didn't look like she was planning to betray them. But something in the way that she had said 'My people' made Nora question her trust in Diana Sydney.

Her parents were dead, her friends were on a different planet. Everything she owned was in a small footlocker shoved underneath her bunk in the barracks. She owned only two outfits beside the one she wore. Six days ago someone had shot her with the intent of killing her. All around her were the people she had grown up seeing every day, greeting them with a smile as she passed them in the corridors. People she had known all her life and as she looked around, she didn't know who to trust.

Nora was more alone than she had ever been in her life and she wondered if she was anyone's 'people'.

"Asshole," Clarke muttered to herself, catching herself from falling as a drunk camper stumbled into her and wandered away laughing.

Brushing off her pants, she continued on her march through the camp, searching the crowd for Bellamy. It was well into the evening and the Unity Day festivities were in full celebration, drunken campers spread out through the drop site. She had been in the middle of her own celebration when Finn had found her, once more wrangling her into a situation she would have rather avoided.

Trust him to ruin something else, she thought to herself, instantly regretting her anger towards Finn. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about the way he infuriated her by simply existing. She didn't understand why she cared so much, it wasn't rational. It had been one night, one terrible, wonderful, lapse in judgement and nothing else. He had a girlfriend. He had lied to her. He thought he'd never see her again.

"What's that look for, Princess?"

Clarke stopped suddenly, surprised to find him standing in front of her in the path, giving her an amused smirk. She frowned at him and moved closer, pulling him off the main path and into a group of tents. Most of the campers had been drinking since early afternoon and were too inebriated to eavesdrop on their conversation but she was still cautious before giving him a serious look.

"Finn set up a meeting with the Grounders," she explained quickly, nodding when he gave her a shocked look. "I know, I don't know what he was thinking."

"You aren't seriously going to go, are you?" Bellamy asked, shifting his weight as he started thinking the potential threat.

It would easy to ambush a small group, especially if the meeting was in unknown terrain. He wondered who was sponsoring the meeting, who had access to both groups to barter peace between them. His sister quickly came to mind, her involvement in the grounder's escape was definitely suspicious. He hadn't seen her in camp since the early morning and he wondered if she remembered it was her birthday, and then had kicked himself. Of course she knew, it was the same day as Unity Day every year. He had left a gift in her tent, but he doubted she had been back to find it.

"I think we need to give this truce a chance," Clarke argued, a determined look starting to set in her face. She met his gaze and nodded, making him shake his head with a small scoff. "But that doesn't mean that I trust them. I want you to follow us, as back-up."

"Now that's some smarter thinking, Princess," he said, nodding his head in agreement, clapping his hands together. He already started thinking of who to bring with them, Jasper instantly coming to mind. He had proven himself useful in the search for Octavia and Bellamy had a respect for him facing the grounders after his near-death experience at their hands. He would be a fine gunner to bring along.

"I'm going to go meet Finn at the front gate," Clarke continued, shoving her hands in her jacket pocket as a cold wind swept through the camp. "Wait ten minutes and then follow us, got it?"

"Roger, roger," Bellamy confirmed, looking over the tents in search for Jasper. He saw his goggles flashing against the firelight a few tents away.

"And Bellamy? Bring guns," Clarke ordered, giving him a final nod before disappearing into the camp.

"Whatever you say, Princess," Bellamy said with a smirk, kicking up a burst of dirt with his boot before heading towards Jasper's tent. They would need ammunition before leaving, along with a couple of ration packs just in case. He had taken a few drinks of the Unity Juice and felt a headache brewing in the back of his head. Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts aside as he thought of the long night ahead.

Everyone's accelerating
At a speed and I can't keep up
All of these things they're selling
I've no idea or need for a single one