Chapter 12: Girl Matters:
Sally Acorn was walking through the streets of City Escape, muttering horrible things under her breath. Her head was down, and her fists were clenched against her sides. She passed by Casino Night Zone where her apartment was, but she did not enter it. Instead, she walked outside the city limits and into the woods. She came across a grassy clearing, and sat on the lone tree stump right in the center. After a few minutes of thinking about how to get back at Amy, her brown ears pricked up. A tall mountain was right by her, which she didn't take notice of upon arriving here. She could see a dark gray object coming down the mountain at high speed. The object was still sliding fast as it reached the flat ground, sending mud flying into the air. Just like how any other squirrel would have reacted, Sally quickly left the stump and climbed up a nearby tree, hiding among the foliage. She peeked through the leaves and saw a familiar adversary climb out of the Egg Mobile. She could see that the pod was full of water, (from the frozen robots that had thawed out upon reaching a warmer area).
Sopping wet and still shivering slightly, Dr. Eggman knelt down and kissed the grassy ground, relieved to not be on a cold mountain any longer. He was also breathing hard, since he was almost unable to do so at such a high altitude. Orbot and Cubot got out of the pod too.
"Iteez a good zing you built us so ve're immune to vater, no?" Said Cubot, who's voice chip was now giving him a French accent.
"Ugh, I'd complain about your voice chip, but there's a much more serious matter at hand: Getting back at Sonic and his new girlfriend for humiliating me on the god damn TV!" Eggman growled, clenching his fist.
Sally, despite how she had also been against Eggman before the Freedom Fighters broke up, knew that if she didn't join him now, she would not have any backup if she ever tried to attack Amy again.
"Eh? Perhaps I can be of some assistance!" She said, stepping back into the clearing.
"Well, if it isn't Sally Acorn. It's been a long time. I see you've changed your look, too." Eggman said, as the eyes of the pint-sized robots behind him were replaced with hearts after moving up along Sally's figure.
"Same to you, but enough of this reconciliation shit. I also happen to be seeking revenge on them. Really. I can help you with it." Sally said, before eyeing the robots who were staring at her, "...And what are you two staring at!?"
"You see, madamousel: You have a nice rack. Je t'aime." Cubot replied, kissing her on the hand.
"Aw, why tha- Wait! Is that an insult?" Sally asked, a fist balled up.
"Why do not be silly, monami! It was um, uh..." Cubot uttered, both his and Orbot's eyes not leaving Sally's unimpressed face.
In one swift blow, both robots were roundhouse kicked into the very tree that Sally had been hiding in.
"Well it seems that something's changed after all: Your minions are even stupider than before." Sally remarked.
Eggman took no notice of the brief argument as he held his bandaged head which throbbed in pain, before quickly grabbing his stomach, (which had shrunk down since he had been without food for a while) as it began to rumble.
"Well, due to your actions during our previous encounters, I'm not sure I can trust you to help me out here. But regardless, I need something to eat in order to think straight." Eggman suggested, "Maybe we can discuss it over some triple bacon-cheeseburgers and loaded fries."
"That works!" Sally nodded, and the two headed back to the city.
"...Oh, and maybe some extra-large cookie-dough shakes too." Eggman added, before looking back to see if Orbot and Cubot were following them, only to see them lying on the ground.
"Get up, you idiots!" He barked, prompting them to immediately get up and follow after them.
I am Blaze the Cat! The former princess of the Sol Dimension!
Between now and the last time you heard from me, things have been
a bit...questionable, for lack of a better word. No, it's nothing major, like
developing a seafood allergy, choking on a massive hairball, or missing
my life back in the Sol Dimension (the latter DEFINITELY won't be happening
any time soon!), but...oh, where do I begin? I guess I'll just let the next scene speak
for itself!
At the house, Blaze was sitting alone in the living room on the couch, deep in thought. The room was in the middle of the house, and had a door on each end, connecting the hallways. Amy was passing through, relieved that her nose had finally stopped bleeding, and noticed Blaze. She sat next to her on the couch, unhappy to see her friend not in a good mood.
"Hi Blaze, what's wrong?" Amy asked.
Blaze paused for a moment, her golden eyes staring downward.
"Oh nothing, it's just…Silver." She started.
"What about him?" Amy continued.
"Well, I don't know. I just think he's not feeling me anymore. I mean, we sleep together, but, well…" Blaze said, still looking down.
As if on cue, Rouge entered the room.
"Well, you could do what I do." She suggested.
"And what's that?" Blaze asked. "Just wear something sexy and advance on him. C'mon, follow me." Rouge responded.
Blaze reluctantly followed her into her and Shadow's room, with Amy tagging along, seeing if Rouge's idea was legit. The three girls went to the dresser. Rouge pulled her black spaghetti-strap nightgown with pink hearts all over it out of the drawer. Blaze got a skeptical look on her face.
"Just put it on before bed, and when Silver comes out of the bathroom, you make sure he sees you in it, and then you make a move. I know, I know, it's a very cliché method, but I can 90% guarantee that it'll work!" Rouge said, "...But I'll need it back after tonight."
"Uh, I'll try it on." Blaze replied.
She stepped out of the bathroom moments later, wearing the nightgown Rouge was letting her borrow.
"OK, I clearly don't have the tits for this." She said, blushing.
"I knew it wouldn't work!" Amy muttered.
"Nonsense!" Rouge countered, "We could just get it in your size at the mall."
Blaze blushed as she changed back into her normal attire. The three girls then drove to the Station Square Mall.
I am Dr. Eggman! The greatest scientist in all the world!
I honestly didn't think I'd make it out of THAT setback! But here I am!
Now back to full health (for the most part) and with a new ally, I'm
finally prepared to enact my revenge on that overgrown hedgehog!
And this time is going to be different! Instead of outright attacking him,
I've devised a convoluted, multi-phase scheme to gain ultimate power,
and make wiping him off the face of Mobius all the easier!
Dr. Eggman, Orbot, Cubot and Sally were meanwhile up in the newly built Death Egg Mk. III. It was running on solar power, since he could not get his hands on Shadow, and had been built within the time between Eggman's two most recent attacks on Sonic. Eggman was piloting it so it was following the three girls in Amy's personal car from All-Stars Racing. (The Death Egg was now programmed so it could fly, rather than just float in space). Despite being thousands of miles up in the sky, nobody from below could see the giant flying fortress, but the people aboard the Death Egg could clearly see everything on the ground, thanks to the advanced camera system. When the car finally stopped, so did the fortress. Eggman stood up from the chair in front of the control pad and pulled out a small remote. With the press of a button, the view screen was obscured by a photo of the back entrance to the mall.
"Lemme guess, briefing time?" Sally asked, standing up from a chair and speaking as if she'd been working for Eggman for longer than a couple of hours.
Orbot and Cubot stood behind her, trying their hardest to pay attention, but hopelessly distracted at the sight of her rear end. Eggman nodded.
"Okay, so this is where you three will land. I have hidden a special tracking device behind one of the dumpsters," He said, zooming in on the dumpster and then flipping to another picture.
Unfortunately, the picture was not of the tracking device at all, but instead was a photo of Eggman at Seaside Hill, wearing a white t-shirt that was too small for him, (which read "Get A Load Of This!" on the front), a yellow speedo, and an inter-tube that resembled a Motobug. In this photo, Eggman was at least ten years younger, and unlike his present self, he had a full head of natural brown hair, albeit with a receding hairline. Orbot and Cubot burst out laughing, while Sally looked away, disgusted. Blushing, the evil scientist proceeded to flip through photos.
"ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN!" He shouted, having finally flipped to the correct photo. This immediately prompted everyone to get serious again.
"As I was saying, this tracking device is specially programmed to lock on to any of my adversaries. Without the device, you'll be hard-pressed to find them within a mall so large." Eggman continued.
"...And just how did you know they would be at the mall at this exact point in time, and when did you take the time to hide that thing anyway?" Sally asked with a smirk, and not noticing Cubot attempting to gently place his hands on her hips (while Orbot snickered behind him), "Seriously, that's a pretty big plot-hole you're creating there!"
"Er, well, I...uhm...(can't answer that)...well I hid the device during my free time. Good excuse to miss 'drinking hour' I guess." Eggman replied.
"...Aaand why do you drink, exactly?" Sally continued.
"I drink whenever I lose to So-, you know what? Just get to work!" Eggman replied, annoyed.
Cubot's fingers were just millimeters away from Sally's hips, when she suddenly turned around, prompting both him and Orbot to withdraw their hands and look professional.
"Let's go, boys!" She said, punching her left fist into her right hand.
Orbot and Cubot said nothing as the three proceeded to travel towards the ground in one of the escape pods. Unlike most escape pods however, these pods were programmed so they could be controlled during descent, and could be flown back up to the base, ensuring that it never ran out of pods. Additionally, each pod had within it a small remote that could not only send signals up to the fortress, but also call one of the pods down from the fortress, or send any pod that was still on the ground toward the user's location in case the user were to get lost, (provided that such pods were within 10 kilometers of where the user was). On top of all that, Eggman had a remote of his own with the same functions, which he always carried with him. As such, the doctor managed to get back up to the Death Egg despite his Egg Mobile being destroyed.
On the way down, Orbot and Cubot were still laughing after the disgusting but hysterical photograph they had just seen.
"Haha, well it's not the most hilarious thing we've seen him do!" Cubot replied, his voice chip finally back to normal.
"Of course! Remember when we walked in on him during one of his private karaoke sessions!?" Orbot added.
{A cutaway began showing both minions going through the halls of the Death Egg, with Orbot carrying an ice-bucket with a bottle of champagne in it, and Cubot carrying a plate of food obscured by a metal cover. Once they reached Eggman's room, Cubot nonchalantly opened the door without even bothering to knock, and he and Orbot's eyes literally fell out of their electrical sockets at what they saw. Dr. Eggman was doing footloose dancing, a black wig resembling an afro on his head and a wireless karaoke mic in his hand. "Because I'm fat! I'm fat! So really, really fat!" He belted, continuing to dance around as he stripped off his jacket and started to swing it around in circles over his head. As he danced, still not noticing that he had been disturbed, Eggman's now exposed bodysuit started to rip open in many areas, with some of the rips revealing tighty-whities with Sonic Team logos on them.}
The two robots started to laugh even harder at that memory.
"Heh, no wonder you two are such imbeciles! Because your creator is one too!" Sally chuckled to herself.
The escape pod landed behind the mall. After a brief search, Orbot discovered a black case with a padlock on it behind the dumpster, just out of reach from his short, robotic arms.
"Um, help?" He asked.
Sally rolled her eyes, knowing that she was the tallest of the three. Getting onto her hands and knees, she reached behind the dumpster as Orbot and Cubot started to giggle, eyeing her rear sticking out from the crevice. Orbot attempted to touch her hips, though Sally overheard the giggling and foot-jabbed both of them without even looking behind her. After finally grabbing the case and doing a back-bend after being in an uncomfortable position, she handed it to Orbot, who was busy putting a cog back into his head. Inside the case was a handheld gadget that resembled a Sega Game Gear. It was specialized to lock onto any of Eggman's adversaries, and was complete with a built in GPS-style map, which showed up immediately after turning it on. Icons of Amy, Blaze and Rouge appeared on the map.
"Let's go." Sally ordered, briefly eyeing Cubot as he screwed his right eye back in.