"Why do I have to go?" I asked poking my head from the bathroom. It didn't seem all that fair for mom to force me into training, today was a rare day off. I had made plans, plans that wouldn't make me dead tired.
"You've been slacking," Mom said pointing a finger at me. I flinched and glared at my sister, who had been working on her mission report. She looked finished now as she straightened out all the papers.
Shikako snickered and the lifted the book up and held it out.
I quickly snatched it from and and huffed out, "I haven't been slacking, I train everyday."
Mom's eyebrow arched high, and perhaps she was a little surprised. Shikako got up from her seat, her hand sliding the report off the table's surface. I scrunched up my face, this was her meddling fault, she let out a light laugh before slipping out the door.
"Go finish your chores, then we'll just see how much you've been training."
I groaned and I knew better than to argue. I shuffled off to my room and set the book on my desk. I couldn't help but feel that I'd much rather play shogi than train with mom. She was a spartan trainer, absolutely brutal. I knew that I was going to feel broken before the end of the day. Someone was going to have to drag my useless body back.
Then there was the matter of tomorrow, I was still going to have to get up. Mom was going to drag me out of bed then to go through exercises. Then if I was really lucky, or unlucky, dad was going to want to go over some small exercises.
I let out a heavy sigh.
"Mom," I whined as she decided I needed to be drilled in throwing kunai and expression became quite pointed and gestured to the post on the other side of the field.
"What have you been training on?" She demanded her hands going on her hips. It was a stance that Shikako took every now and then, a disapproving stance. "It certainly isn't your throwing."
"My taijutsu…" I mumbled in a low voice and released the shuriken in my hand, it hit right under mom's mark. I frowned, I thought I had put more behind it than that.
"Just your taijutsu?"
"I'm good at it," I said lifting my chin, I was one of the best in my class. I was fairly proud of the fact considering that I had Hanabi Hyuuga in my class. Still what did it mean in the long run? Nara's were ranged fighters.
"I swear child," Mom sighed shaking her head, "Well you better start hitting the mark before your brother and sister get here-or we'll be training early tomorrow."
It was a relief when Shika and Kako finally joined us. Shikako looked so smug and Shikamaru looked rather dreadful. Mom closely reviewed my throwing one last time before she started on them. I felt Shikamaru's dread when I knew tomorrow morning wasn't going to be very pleasant.
"Alright Masa, its your turn to show me your shadow possession," Mom called after timing both Shika's and Kako's time on the clan jutsu.
Instantly I felt my face burned, I forgot my tired limbs for the moment. Mom had to know, there was no way she didn't, dad would've told her…
"I can't do it yet," I admitted, avoiding the gazes of my siblings.
"This is training, try," Mom's voice was firm, she was in complete training mode and would accept nothing less.
I let out a resigned sigh. I dragged myself up to my feet. I went over the hand seals -too slow mom remarked- and started concentrating on extending my shadow. It pooled as I fed it chakra. Then ever so slowly, I struggled with it greatly, it started forward. It went out one meter, but before it could reach Yoshino it snapped back.
She motioned for me to do it again.
"You can do it Masa," Kako encouraged, at least that had been her intentions. I felt so embarrassed.
The third attempt frustration got the better of me and I stormed off.
No one called after me, I was fuming and they knew better. It didn't mean mom wouldn't have a stern conversation with me later. I felt tears of my anger burn at my eyes as I fled.
I didn't go home.
The deer brought me comfort, but I knew better than to go to them in such a mood. I would only startle them. I ended up trudging my way to one of the academy training grounds.
I wanted to hit something.
The training posts were unsatisfying targets.
Eventually I sat down, my back to the post I had been kicking and punching, and tried to clear my thoughts. The first things we were taught, the first steps to learning the clan jutsu were meditation exercises. Sort through your emotions, center your chakra, and focus your breathing.
My spirit was a twisted mess.
The first few years of my life had been mostly normal. Then I had turned three, or maybe four, when I remembered it all. Another life I shouldn't be able to remember. The nightmares as I slowly remembered had worried my family. At least my personality hadn't changed drastically. Maybe I became a little more reserved, a little more moody, but was that such an abnormal thing for a Nara child?
My breathing was unsteady, my emotions bubbled out all over.
How do they do it?
"Why aren't you home?" Old man Kasuga grumbled as I slipped my shoes off.
Instead of giving him an answer I made my way to the kitchen. I set the kettle on the stove top and paused before turning the heat on. Maybe I should cook him dinner instead? Then again if my family found out I could could then mom wouldn't let me get away with the simple help she had me do.
Still I had liked cooking, it had always been a welcome distraction.
"Have you eaten yet?" I asked daring to meet his eye, but I watched his jaw. He was frowning at me. "I can cook…"
"You should be home, helping your mom." Kasuga was working towards getting information out of me. He was a very patient man, and he knew that I wouldn't hold back for very long. He gestured with a hand, "Go on and cook if you have no intention of heading off."
I smiled and went to explore to see what he had.
"I'm so tired of never being able to manage anything," I said as I poured Kasuga some hot tea. The food was cooking, I didn't need to hover over it. At least for the moment. "Whenever I try and use the clan jutsu…it feels like I'm about to break my arm."
The old man took a deep breath of the tea. He nodded as he listened and considered his next words carefully. I pursed my lips as I waited.
"You don't want to push too hard," His words were a type of warning, "You just need to work at it slowly. You should work on that temper of yours too, you give up far too easily."
I huffed, but didn't contend it. I knew it all to be true.
"I'm trying," I sipped at the hot tea, it burnt my tongue. "I really am trying-yet I'm not getting anywhere."
"Where are you trying to go?"
"I need to be strong, I need to catch up-Kako and Shika…they were so much better when they were my age."
Kasuga scoffed, "Thats one problem there, you need to stop comparing yourself to them. You're not your brother and your not your sister."
I gave him a look, like it wasn't obvious I wasn't them. Yet how I could I easily not compare myself to them? I needed to be as strong as them, stronger. I needed to help them as they faced one impossible task after the other. I didn't want to see them die because I was too weak.
Kasuga rapped me on the back of the head. It wasn't nearly as hard as a hit from my mom would be, she only hit me on the head when I used 'unfavorable' words. I think it was more to break me out of my brooding.
"I need to be better." I set the cup down, I need to check on the food.
"Work harder for it, don't just give up and stomp off because you can't get it right away."
I grimaced as I stirred the frying veggies.
Was I so predictable?
Dad stopped by to fetch me, just as I was setting the table for Kasuga. Shikaku gave me a curious look. I shrugged and went to go put my shoes on. His conversation with the old man was short, but there probably had been a lot of information exchanged in it. I didn't bother to listen in.
"You cooked dinner for him," Dad stated as his arm pulled me closer to his side.
I grunted as I realized how exhausted I was. Each step was heavy, the day had been unforgiving and long. Physically and mentally.
"I didn't know mom had taught you."
Oh.
Yeah he knew exactly that mom hadn't taught me more than small tasks like cutting veggies.
"I watched," I replied after a yawn.
"So, what did you and Kasuga talk about?" He finally inquired, our home was in sight now.
I hummed in thought, "I need to work on my temper."
Dad laughed and patted my head. "I have some exercises for that."
I wanted to groan, I wanted to run away. I ignored my initial reactions and slowly nodded my head. I might have plenty experiences from a past life, but in this world, in this life, I was a young child.
"Mom's not happy with me," I decided to say before we actually reached the house, "I ran off in the middle of training."
He didn't reply instead we reached the door and he pulled it open. The warmth of our home was more than just temperature, it was filled with love. Even when that love sometimes came out in stern looks and fierce punishments. I hated that there were times when I felt a stranger to it all, I belonged to this.
This was my family. I loved them as they surely loved me.
"Tadaima," I mumbled right after my dad. From the sounds inside, they were starting dinner.
"Okaeri," Three voices called out.
My body complained as I leaned down to take my shoes off. I almost gave up and collapsed there at the entrance. I say almost because I'd still end up being made to drag myself to bed. Instead I became my dad's shadow as he went off to the kitchen.
"Mom taught us new jutsu," Kako announced beaming brightly at dad.
Earth style jutsus were so much harder than the clan jutsu I didn't even try them anymore.
"What did she teach you?" Dad questioned he ruffled Shikamaru's ponytail before taking a seat at the table. I sat down and glanced up at mom as she set down a plate of food in front of me. The smells made my stomach rumble.
I distinctly missed this.
Sitting together as a family and talking. It was happening less and less now that Shika and Kako were both out in the field. More often than not it was just Mom and I. It wasn't exactly lonely but we knew who we were missing.
As tired as I was, I immediately didn't want this moment to end.
AN: Thank you guys so much for the favorites and follows and reviews! I am so surprised! Just-thank you so much! I am having so much fun with this... The problem is I keep on getting ahead of myself, and i have to go back and rewrite stuff.
I have a plot i'm just slowly working towards it. Also i've been thinking about Masa's team when he graduates. Which won't be for a while but still, he's going to be like Shikako a bit team wise. He won't have a Shika-Ino-Cho because Ino and Choji don't have younger siblings...
Also you might notice that Masa really doesn't have any friends. He'll make excuses and tell his family he's going out to meet with friends, but with a little investigating it wouldn't take them long to find out that he really is just off alone somewhere. Which makes him awkward around anyone who isn't family. I dono i just thought i'd share that with you guys.
Anyway thanks so much for reading!