Gabriel swung the doors open to the ballroom where he felt Sam and the unfortunately large amassing of pagan gods. This was really bad. He'd known from the moment Kali let him feel her energy that she wanted him to be there. And that. That was very, very bad. "Can't we all just get along?" he asked in a playful, sing-song voice.

A wave of shock and hatred from Sam nearly knocked Gabriel on his ass. How many ways of apologizing did a guy have to try?

Sam said, "Gab-"

Gabriel moved his hand quickly, removing Sam and Dean's voices. Like hell he was going to let the boys ruin his standing with the other gods. He might not have been able to hide it from Sam the way he'd wanted to, but he still had a reputation to uphold. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly and said, "Sam. Dean. Always wrong place, worst time with you muttonheads, huh?"

"Loki," Baldur said evenly.

Baldur. Hmm. Gabriel hadn't seen that one coming. And standing next to Kali. Yeah, that just didn't seem right. Gabriel understood Baldur's hostility, though. The last time Gabriel and Baldur had been in the same room, Gabriel had tricked the arrogant prick into catching the one thing that would kill him. In fact, last Gabriel had checked, Baldur was dead. Apparently, Gabriel wasn't the only one in town with a few tricks up his sleeve.

"Baldur," Gabriel said with false cheer, "Good seeing you, too. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail."

"Why are you here?" Baldur hissed.

"To talk about the elephant in the room," Gabriel said. He pointed to Ganesha, "Not you." He turned back to Baldur and said, "The apocalypse. We can't stop it, gang. But first things first."

Gabriel turned around to face the Winchesters. He needed to get them as far away from the gods as he possibly could. But he could feel what Kali had done. The blood spell that was holding them here was a poignant one. Shit. A hotel room upstairs would have to do. "The adults need to have a little conversation. Check you later," he said.

Gabriel snapped his fingers, and the brothers were gone.

"What did you do with them?" Baldur snapped.

Gabriel waved a hand and said, "Relax. They're upstairs. I just wanted to have this little chat without revealing the big punchline."

Kali glared at Gabriel and asked, "What punchline?"

"The fact of the matter is, folks, Lucifer is stronger than all of us combined. Michael, too. And if we're talking about stopping this thing with violence..." Gabriel said, looking at Kali, "Then, it's all of our funerals."

Odin scoffed. "If you think some angels are stronger than us Norse gods, then you have no business being my son," he said.

"Oh, don't go pulling out the family bullshit now. You always liked Thor better anyway," Gabriel said, "The angels are stronger than us. I don't think it, I know it. I just figured you all might like the truth before everyone goes and gets themselves killed."

Odin glared at Gabriel, but Gabriel paid no mind. Odin might have been the one to take him in after he fled from Heaven, but now he was just another father that Gabriel had managed to disappoint. He was kind of used to it.

"Why don't we take a break?" Ganesha said, "We can think this over and reconvene after some snacks."

Baldur sighed and said, "Very well."

Gabriel snapped his fingers and showed up on Sam and Dean's couch to discuss how to get them out of this mess. After a lot of talking and horribly stupid ideas, Sam and Dean went to break out a bunch of humans from the kitchen while Gabriel worked some magic with an old flame.

Kali was in a state of undress when Gabriel arrived. He turned out the lights and lit some candles as he appeared with a red rose in hand.

"Bonjour, mon amour," Gabriel said as Kali turned around to look at him.

"Leave," Kali said evenly.

Gabriel kept his flirty smirk in place. "You always did play hard to get," he said. He hoped it would make her think of when he had first wooed her, back when he'd defaced several temples of Hindu gods in Kali's name. That hadn't gone over very well, but it had gotten Kali's attention one way or another.

"I've moved on," Kali said.

"I noticed," Gabriel said, "Baldur? Really?"

Kali turned away from him, looking back at her mirror. "Baldur's uncomplicated," she said.

Gabriel didn't know what was so complicated about fits of wrath and angry, rough sex, but he had to admit, the end of their relationship had gotten pretty dramatic. Kali wasn't given the nickname "the Destroyer" for nothing.

Gabriel went ahead with his plan anyway. He conjured up some champagne and glasses, pouring them each a glass.

"I never took you for the type," Kali said, watching Gabriel pour.

"Romantic?" Gabriel asked. He thought about his trip with Sam to Vermont. Yeah, he hadn't pegged himself for a romantic either, but the evidence was against him.

Kali corrected him. "Pathetic," she said.

Gabriel dropped his smile a little. He'd have to try another approach. "You're the one who called me here," he said. After they split, Kali made sure he'd never be able to find her without her consent. The fact that she'd left herself be known to him was as much an invitation to this shindig as any.

"Because I thought you might take this seriously," Kali said.

Gabriel swallowed his sip of champagne. "I'm taking this seriously," he said, "Ship's sinking. Time to get off. I mean, screw this marble. Let's go check out Pandora."

Kali had always talked about leaving with him after she'd brought about the destruction of the world. Sure, she'd probably be bitter about not being the one to end it, but the idea would hopefully loosen her up a little.

"It doesn't have to be like that," Kali said.

Gabriel had to come up with some way to convince Kali to call this thing off. He hadn't been lying when he told Sam and Dean that he was sentimental. Kali was a cool goddess, and Gabriel really didn't want to see her get hurt by his asshole brother. More than that, Gabriel really didn't want to see his asshole brother show up, kill Kali, and take over Sam's body all in one go, and that was exactly where all of this was heading.

Gabriel stepped closer to Kali and said, "Afraid it does."

"If we fight-" she started.

"You die."

"And what makes you such an expert?"

"I've tousled with those winged ass-monkeys once or twice," Gabriel said evenly.

Kali backed away slightly, but Gabriel caught her hands in his. "Kali," he said, "No more tricks. I'm begging you, don't do this."

"I have to," Kali murmured.

Gabriel could see the resolve in her face. Fine. Plan B. "Can't blame me for trying," he said, backing down.

Kali smiled at him fondly.

"Still love me?" Gabriel asked.

"No," Kali said, her smile still in place.

Gabriel locked eyes with her the way he used to before they'd go off and wreak havoc.

Kali pulled Gabriel into a deep kiss, her hands getting in his hair before the archangel could think twice. Perfect.

He could feel Sam's anxious energy in the kitchen below. They were under attack. He had to move fast.

Gabriel deepened the kiss roughly, moving a hand to slowly reach the vials of blood behind his ex.

Sam was being choked. Shit. Gabriel needed to get the blood and go.

Gabriel's hand touched the vials, and Kali scratched Gabriel's neck with all the ferocity of a feline.

"Ow," Gabriel said, jerking back, looking at Kali.

Kali's smile was gone. "You must take me for a fool, Gabriel," she said.

Shit.

"You are bound to me, now and forever," Kali said evenly, holding up her fingers dripping with the archangel's blood.

Fuck.

Kali brought Gabriel down into the ballroom with her while the other gods slowly milled in. They were screwed. They were so, so screwed.

It wasn't long before Sam and Dean were shoved back into the room. Guess nobody's plans had been successful.

"How long have you known?" Gabriel asked Kali.

Kali looked down at him with disdain. "Long enough," she said.

Sam was shoved into a seat next to Gabriel, and Dean was shoved down next to Sam.

"How's the rescue going?" Dean asked.

Gabriel gave Dean an unamused grin.

"Well, surprise, surprise," Kali said, "The Trickster has tricked us."

"Kali, don't," Gabriel said.

"You're mine now," Kali said, sitting on the edge of Gabriel's chair, pressing herself close to him, "And you have something I want."

Gabriel was warmed slightly by the tinge of jealousy he could feel coming off of Sam. Maybe he had a shot to redeem himself after all, assuming they all survived this.

Kali dragged her hand along Gabriel's neck and down his chest, slowly exploring around his side and into his jacket.

Baldur looked away uncomfortably.

Kali pulled out Gabriel's blade. "An archangel's blade," she said, "From the archangel Gabriel."

All of the gods were silent.

Gabriel said, "Okay, okay. So I got wings. Like kotex. But that doesn't make me any less right about Lucifer."

"He's lying. He's a spy," Kali said.

"I'm not a spy, I'm a runaway," Gabriel said, "I'm trying to save you. I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends."

Kali stopped him. "Your story, not ours," she said, "Westerners. I swear, the sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on Earth? You pillage and you butcher in your god's name. But you're not the only religion. And he's not the only god. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us, and we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me."

Kali ran her hand along Gabriel's cheek. "I'm sorry," she said.

Kali stabbed Gabriel's blade into his chest. Gabriel had known something like this might happen. He created the illusion of his grace pouring out of him as he created a copy in his exact spot and disappeared to the parking lot.

When he'd created that fake blade, he'd tipped it with a little bit of angel metal, just enough to cause a little actual damage so he would have any delayed reaction time.

Gabriel stumbled over to the Impala, holding a hand to the blood seeping through his shirt. He healed quickly. He'd never let Kali have an actually lethal weapon.

Gabriel could feel how upset Sam was. Sam was looking at Gabriel's dead copy. There was so much hurt and sadness in that boy. Gabriel sighed. What he wouldn't give to see Sam smile again. He laid down in the backseat of the Impala and waited. He still had to deal with the blood spell on himself and the brothers. He'd come up with something.

But in a matter of minutes, Sam's grief turned into shock and bewilderment. Gabriel took a closer listen.

Dean was saying, "Now, on any other given day, I'd be doing my damnedest to, uh, kill you, you filthy murdering chimps, but, uh, hey, desperate times. So, even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you ice the devil. And then, we can all get back to ganking each other like normal. You want Lucifer? Well, dude's not in the yellow pages. But me and Sam, we can get him here."

"How?" Kali asked.

"First, you let those main courses go, then we talk," Dean said, "We can either take on the Devil together, or you lame-ass bitches can eat me. Literally."

Well, that certainly explained Sam's shock. Within minutes, a bunch of people came streaming out of the front doors.

"Go, go! Go! Get out of here," Dean called after the running people.

Gabriel scooted over to the window and said in a hushed voice, "Psst! Dean! D-Don't look at me! Act natural. Get in."

Dean crossed in front of the Impala and got in the driver's seat. He turned around to face Gabriel and said, "Man, there is nothing natural about this at all. I thought you were dead."

"You think I'd give Kali my real sword? That thing can kill me," Gabriel said.

"Then, what do they have in there?" Dean asked.

Gabriel grinned and said, "A fake. Made it out of a can of diet orange slice. So, uh, go snag our blood, would ya?"

"What?" Dean asked.

"I heard you in there," Gabriel said, "Kali likes you. You can get close. Lift the plasma, then we vamoose."

Dean said, "No. Hand over the real blade. Better yet, why don't you sack up and help us take down Lucifer?"

"You can't be serious," Gabriel said.

"Deadly."

"Since when are you butt-buddies with a bunch of monsters? That's all they are to you, aren't they?"

"Alright, you know what? Sam was right. It's nuts, but it's the best idea I've heard, so unless you have a better one..."

Gabriel stopped himself from saying anything else. No way was Dean going to take the Rings of the Horsemen idea over killing Lucifer here and now. Even if it was a suicide mission.

"Well, good luck with that," Gabriel said, rapping his hands on the front seat, "Me? I'm blowing Jonestown. Those lemmings want to jump off a cliff, that's their business."

"I see right through you, you know that?" Dean said, "The smart-ass shell, the whole 'I could give a crap' thing. Believe me, it takes one to know one."

"That so?" Gabriel said sarcastically.

"Yes," Dean said, "And maybe those freaks in there aren't your blood, but they are your family."

"They just stabbed me in the freakin' heart," Gabriel said.

"Maybe, but you still give a crap about them, don't you?" Dean pressed.

Gabriel looked at Dean. Why was that idiot always right? Of course he didn't want Kali to get hurt. Baldur was an asshat, but he'd felt bad when he'd killed him the last time. Odin was the only father that Gabriel could actually see from time to time. But there was something bigger stopping him. Bigger than all the gods. Big enough that all Gabriel wanted to do was get Sam the hell out of there.

Gabriel said, "Dean-"

"Now, they're gonna die in there without you," Dean said, cutting him off.

"I can't kill my brother," Gabriel said, shaken at the honesty in his words. Even if he wanted to, Lucifer was too strong. He'd fight Lucifer for Sam in a heartbeat, but it wasn't something he wanted, and it most certainly wasn't a fight he would win. And even if he could, it was Lucifer. They'd grown up together, they'd helped create earth together. They'd had races and wrestling matches and watched their Father putting up the stars late at night. He'd do anything to protect Sam just a little bit longer, but hiding Sam and keeping him away from the Devil was easy. Killing his big brother wasn't in Gabriel's power.

"Can't or won't?" Dean asked.

Gabriel didn't answer. Dean only saw the monster Lucifer had become. He wouldn't understand.

Dean shook his head. "That's what I thought," he said, clearly disappointed.

Dean left the Impala before Gabriel could say another word.

Gabriel heard Dean tell Kali that he was still alive and sighed. He had to get his blood away from her somehow.

Then, he felt it. Gabriel felt it like a cold shiver running through his core. Lucifer was here.

Gabriel flew quickly to Sam and Dean's hotel room. They weren't there, but Gabriel had to do something important before he did something incredibly stupid. He created a Casa Erotica 13 DVD and changed the content to something vital. It was a backup plan, but it would help save the world if necessary.

He sat on the bed. Lucifer had just killed Mercury. Gabriel hadn't even gotten the chance to compliment Mercury on his renovation of this hotel. The illusion work was excellent.

Odin. Gabriel felt Odin's death and almost cried. Gabriel didn't care what Joshua had to say about God being proud of him, Odin had actually been there for Gabriel. He'd found the young archangel and took him to the north without even asking questions.

He needed to do something. But Lucifer was too strong. It was the gods' fault that they were dying. They should've listened to him, but they didn't.

Baron Samedi died. Followed quickly by Ganesha.

This wasn't his fight. He'd known the apocalypse was coming since the beginning of time. He didn't need to go on a suicide mission to prove his Father right.

Baldur's energy vanished from Gabriel's senses. Kali squared off against Lucifer. Sam jumped behind a table for cover. Sam. Sam was scared, completely defenseless.

Gabriel sighed and stood up. He knew the Mystery Spot had been wrong. He knew he should've followed with Sam's plan and never stuck them in TV Land. He knew what side he was on. He was on Sam's side, come Hell or high water. He knew what he had to do. There was no one else he'd rather die for.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked Dean.

"Not really," Gabriel said, making both of the brothers look at him in surprise, "Better late than never, huh?"

Dean nodded. Sam looked at him with wide eyes.

Gabriel slapped the Casa Erotica 13 DVD onto Dean's chest. "Guard this with your life," he said.

Gabriel scurried around the upturned table, and just as Lucifer was about to stomp the life from Kali, blasted his older brother with a wave of power that flung Lucifer into the wall outside the ballroom doors.

Gabriel stood tall, shoulders back, archangel blade in hand, ready to fight the Devil or die trying. "Lucy," he said, "I'm home."

Lucifer charged back into the room, but Gabriel blocked him from getting to Kali.

"Not this time," Gabriel said. He helped Kali up off the ground. "Guys," he said, calling to Sam and Dean, "Get her out of here."

Gabriel stood between Lucifer and what was left of his little family as Sam and Dean walked with Kali out of the ballroom.

"Over a girl," Lucifer said, judgmental as always.

Gabriel glanced up at Sam. Sam had to be okay. He had to be safe and strong and not anywhere near Gabriel's asshole brothers. He wouldn't let Lucifer hurt Sam.

"Gabriel, really?" Lucifer said, "I mean, I knew you were slumming, but I hope you didn't catch anything."

Gabriel said with a soft smile, "Lucifer, you're my brother, and I love you, but you are a great, big bag of dicks."

"What did you just say to me?" Lucifer asked, offended.

"Look at yourself," Gabriel said, "'Boo-hoo. Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys.'"

"Watch your tone," Lucifer said.

"Play the victim all you want, but you and me, we know the truth," Gabriel said, "Dad loved you best. More than Michael, more than me. Then, he brought the new baby home, and you couldn't handle it. So all this is just a great big temper tantrum. Time to grow up."

Gabriel felt Sam leave with Dean and Kali in the Impala. Good.

Lucifer said, "Gabriel, if you're doing this for Michael-"

"Screw him," Gabriel said, "If he were standing here, I'd shiv his ass, too."

"You disloyal-"

"Oh, I'm loyal," Gabriel said quickly, "To them." After what happened after the TV Land incident, Gabriel would loyal to Sam for the rest of his days no matter what.

Lucifer asked, "Who? These so-called gods?"

It wasn't the gods, though he did have a soft spot for a few of them. It was Sam. It was always Sam. Sam was so flawed in the best ways. But it was also Dean. Dean was a self-sacrificing brother with a smile to mask everything else. Gabriel could relate all too well. But it was also Bobby, who gave everything and anything for boys he wasn't even related to. It was John, loving his wife and his boys to the point of preparing Sam and Dean for darkness they had no reason to know. It was Mary, trying her darnedest to live a normal life. It was Jessica Moore, dying for circumstances outside her control. It was comedians and dancers and scientists and writers and musicians and teachers and adults and children all trying so hard to make something of what they found themselves in. It was all of them. Sam was amazing, and Gabriel would never find his equal, but Sam was one of millions of humans who tried so hard in such beautiful ways. For the first time in millennia, Gabriel saw it. Dad had been right all along.

"To people, Lucifer. People," Gabriel said.

Lucifer asked, "So, you're willing to die for a pile of cockroaches? Why?"

"Because Dad was right," Gabriel said, "They are better than us."

"They are broken, flawed abortions," Lucifer snapped.

"Damn right, they're flawed," Gabriel said, "But a lot of 'em try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearmint Rhino."

Lucifer looked a little lost for a moment, like he couldn't believe what Gabriel was saying. But Gabriel had seen it. He'd seen Dean Winchester crawl out of his own grave. He'd seen Bobby Singer try to save Sam through the power of love alone. He'd seen Sam Winchester look past evil and see goodness. Sam had seen something in Gabriel that he himself had long forgotten. He'd fought through visions he didn't understand, he'd tried so hard to save his brother from Hell even when he knew there was no reason to hope, he tried to do nothing but good even when it led him to doing the exact opposite. And his flaws were what made him perfect. Humans were capable of making mistakes and learning, trying, working harder. They could grow and flourish instead of stagnate like the ancient, ageless warriors hiding away in Heaven.

"I've been riding the pine a long time, but I'm in the game now," Gabriel said, "And I'm not on your side or Michael's. I'm on theirs."

Lucifer stayed silent for a moment before saying quietly, "Brother, don't make me do this."

"No one makes us do anything," Gabriel said.

Gabriel left his copy where he'd been and appeared behind Lucifer.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel," Lucifer said.

Gabriel raised his archangel blade slightly. He didn't want to do this, but he had no other choice. Lucifer had made that perfectly clear.

Lucifer said, "But I know where your heart truly lies."

Gabriel raised his blade a little bit higher, and Lucifer turned around, grabbing the sword in Gabriel's hand and stabbing him in the chest with it.

Gabriel gasped.

"Here," Lucifer said softly.

Gabriel's copy of himself vanished. He couldn't focus enough to stabilize his copy through the pain.

"Amateur hocus-pocus," Lucifer said, "Don't forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother."

Gabriel knew what was about to happen. Using what strength he had left, he left a copy of himself in Lucifer's hands and collapsed on the roof. He made the copy's death look convincing, but he had no idea if Lucifer bought it or not.

Gabriel gasped in pain. His grace leaked out of the hole in his chest slowly. It burned.

Gabriel tried to focus on something. Sam, a beach, anything. He focused his energy on what happened below. He needed to know if Lucifer was about to appear on the roof to finish the job.

Lucifer cried, looking at his baby brother's body lying on the floor between burnt wings. Gabriel didn't know if the tears were for show or if Lucifer really thought he was dead.

Lucifer flew off, leaving the Elysian Fields Hotel far behind him. Gabriel stopped reaching out with his draining grace. His wound wasn't quite lethal, but it was deep and was taking a long time to heal. He let out a cry of pain as his muscle slowly stitched itself back together. At least Sam was safe. Gabriel wanted to go to Sam to try apologizing again now that he'd hopefully proven he was on their side. But he couldn't. He couldn't be sure that his illusion had tricked Lucifer. Lucifer couldn't find Sam, but he could easily find Gabriel. After what Gabriel had said to his brother, he'd pretty much labeled himself a beacon to find the Winchesters. Hopefully, Lucifer really thought Gabriel had died, but Gabriel couldn't be sure. He couldn't take that big of a risk. He couldn't let Lucifer find Sam again.

So, Gabriel laid there on the roof of the hotel, slowly, painfully healing. He faded in and out of consciousness as the pain and weakness became too much. Once his ribs snapped back together with a horrible crack, Gabriel tried sitting up. He had no idea how long he'd been on the roof, but he couldn't see his grace coming out of his chest, so at least that was something.

That's when he sensed Sam driving up to the hotel in the Impala. He was alone. No Dean, no Kali. Sam slammed the driver's door of the Impala shut and ran to the front doors of the hotel.

Sam was praying. "Please, be alive. Please, be alive. Please, please, don't be dead."

Gabriel sighed. Sam wasn't going to understand how risky it would be for Gabriel to be around him. Sam wasn't going to stay away from Gabriel, and it was going to be hard enough for Gabriel to stay away from Sam without Sam thinking he could hear his prayers.

Gabriel left his copy's body exactly where it lay. It would be for the best if Sam thought Gabriel really was dead. He needed to do this trick, this last trick on Sam Winchester.

One last trick to try to save Sam's life.