Hi guys! Random in the middle of moving update time!
So my new apartment has a LOT of work that has to be done on it but I'm getting it done! When I'm finished maybe I'll post a picture of the awesome paint job for ya'll to see!

So the winning chapter by like 20 votes:
Dave: Be a Crafty Bird!

Dave lets out a quiet coo as he peeks around the corner, muffled voices filling the silence around him as a grin spreads across his face. "Shit man. We're doing this."

Pounce leans down, tail twitching behind her as she watches Dave sidle in an over-dramatic movie spy fashion across the giant wrap around porch of the house he brought her to. Dave waves for her to stay put and she lays down across the giant lawn, careful not to squish any of the flowers decorating the area.

The orange head disappears through the wall and peeks around before popping back out. "Okay Pounce, you know what to do." Pounce nods and Dave goes through the wall inside the house. The inside of the house is cluttered with random things, some piles going up to the high ceilings. Each room had a different variety of random things giving it all a bit of order. One room had action figures and comic books. One was filled with all things squid. Dave continues to faze through rooms, one had a giant sculpture of a worm-like creature curled up in it causing him to stop and raise a soft brow before continuing on.

He floats past a room that is filled to the point that you can't even see the walls with different guns and towards the front door. The Muffled voice getting louder as he draws closer. "Please." A female voice he knows is Roxy calls out. "I know you're in there. I seen you peek through the damn window! I have to talk to you!"

Dave stops in the hall in front of the door. Looking down at the curled up ball of a form that is Jake English, back pressed against the front door, head stuck between his knees. His head shakes back and forth muttering over and over. "Please go away, please go away. Please go away. Please... please just go away. Leave me alone. Please go away."

"Dude." Jake jumps jerking his head up and pointing an old gun up at Dave, his hands shaking and eyes wide behind his glasses. "Calm down Jake. We just want to talk."

"Dave?" Jake slowly stands up, arm falling to his side as he rubs his eye with his free hand and blinks up at the floating form in front of him.

"Come on! I'm not leaving this porch until you answer this door Mr. English!" Roxy calls through the door. Dave grins and goes through the door, his rear end staying inside and his front out.

"It's okay Roxy. I got this." Roxy shakes her head and puts her hand on Dave's forehead, shoving him back through the door.

"Dave you went through my door... literally. Are you... a ghost? Am I being haunted? Oh god are you haunting me for ignoring Dirk?" Jake starts pacing the hallway hand running through his hair, gun still in his other hand as he rambles on talking to himself.

Dave sighs and unlocks the door letting Roxy in as he watches Jake start to hit his head on the frame to one of the many doors. Muttering to himself of his stupidity over an over again.

"Maybe you should tell him you're not dead?" Roxy flinches slightly every time Jake's head connects with the solid wood of the doorway.

"But I'm enjoying the show." Roxy punches Dave in the arm causing him to squalk. "Fine Fine I'm going! Jake... Jake... JAKE STOP BASHING WHAT LITTLE BRAINS YOU HAVE LEFT AND LOOK AT ME!"

Jake turns blinking at the floating orange figure. Feathers ruffle and poof up in agitation. He slowly smooths his feathers down before turning his shaded gaze up to glare at Jake. "I am not Dead Jake. I'm a Strider, we don't die that easy. But we do stupid things sometimes. We tend to be pompous ass holes and chase people away. But Jake. We don't want to chase you away." Clawed fingers scratch at feathers at the nape of his neck as he sighs. "Jake I know we can be selfish and seem uncaring but dude. Dirk loves you. Hell you made him the god of love. You can't get much more love than that... And now he NEEDS you!"

Jake chews on his lower lip. "I tried to call him."

"What?"

"I tried to call Dirk. The day you came to visit. The day... you went into a coma. I tried to call him, he didn't answer. Then they found you bleeding to death in John's house and... I thought he didn't want to talk to me anymore."

Dave turns to look at Roxy. "Dude, how long have you been trying to get AR back?"

Roxy blinks and taps her cheek in thought. "Well, I'm actually from across the country. So I had to go the airport, Take a flight. They didn't have any directly here so I had to have layovers. TWICE. It cost a fortune I might add... The airports had some great bars though. This one had 20 different kinds of Rum alone! And he mixed the best long island iced-"

"Roxy! The point!" Dave's feathers ruffle up as he scowls down at the girl in pink.

"Oh right. Lets see... It's been about a month since Dirk and Hal were kidnapped."

A loud thump causes Dave and Roxy to jump turning to stare at Jake. "Kidnapped?" His gun lay forgotten on the floor beside him as green eyes widen. "Who could kidnap Dirk? He'd just slice anyone who tried in half. He... he was kidnapped?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Roxy sighs dramatically rolling her bright pink eyes. "A bunch of trolls popped into his house... Literally, and kidnapped him. And for some stupid reason Hal insists that I bring you in the rescue mission to save him."

"Hal thinks if you go in to the other world, gold guns blazing and rescue him and Dirk that you two will remember whatever it is you got between you and be happy again." Roxy supplies, tapping her pink shades. Light reflecting off of them to show the red text filling the other side.

"Who's Hal?"

Dave shakes his head. "Hal is Dirk's Auto Responder. He apparently named himself and got a girlfriend."

"An awesome girlfriend." Roxy supplies with a grin.

"An... awesome girlfriend. Which is good because she's the only way we're able to keep in touch with Dirk and AR." Dave floats over picking up the old gun off the floor. "So... are you coming with us to save him? Cuz if you are might I suggest you use the guns he gave you and not this shoddy old thing. It looks like it could explode in your face at any moment."

"Yes... Right. Of course, just give me a moment to get them and I'll meet you outside."

Dave and Roxy nod, stepping back outside into the sunlight. Pounce watches them with bright wide eyes. "Hey Dave. Should I bring anything other than my... there is a giant cat in my yard."

"Yeah... Weird stuff happens when you date a Strider. You should know that by now."

Done! Thanks for putting up with me through this slow hiatus my loves! You are all awesome! Just a reminder I have no idea how to portray the awesomeness that is Jake English, so I have just GIVEN UP on trying. So Sorry he's not... proper Jake. I'm a failure!

The next chapter?
Strider group: Go to the other world

Karkat: watch all the gods gather