"Would you like to hear a story?"
Gabriel looked around. He had been in a hot tub with five nymphs. One of them had been feeding him chocolate covered strawberries. Now, he stood in a cozy office with a roaring fire in the hearth, classical music playing on a record player, 'Supernatural' books strewn about the floor.
"You summoned me from what most would consider paradise to ask me if I want to hear a story?" Gabriel asked, giving Metatron a taking-no-shit look.
"Oh, it's a good story. You'll like it. Come on, have a seat," Metatron said, gesturing to the open seat in front of his desk.
Gabriel said, "I'm fine over here."
"Here, I'll just give you a little taste. Once upon a time, an archangel fell in love with a human. What a wonderful story so far, right?" Metatron said with an impish grin.
"That's cute," Gabriel said, "What do you want?"
"No, no. I didn't finish the story," Metatron said, "The human was cursed, born to be the Devil's vessel, and the poor human fell down into the cage while the archangel watched."
Gabriel snapped, "I know what happened. I was there."
"But that's not the end of the tale, Gabriel," Metatron said quickly, "The archangel fled, never to be seen or heard from again, but the angel, Castiel...he got crafty. His best friend was in a hole in the ground, his love had gone off to live with another. So, the Little Angel That Could raised the human from the cage."
Gabriel's breath caught. This had to be a lie. Gabriel himself couldn't have saved Sam. There was no way that Castiel could swing that. "That's impossible," he said.
"Oh, of course. A small time garrison angel could never rescue a soul from Lucifer's cage," Metatron said, "But he could easily create a body and memories from the earth."
"Are you telling me Sam's walking around with no soul?" Gabriel asked. His mind was already starting to race.
"You really don't want to just listen to the story, do you?"
"You have my attention," Gabriel said, sitting in front of Metatron's desk.
"Good. Now, the human had no soul, wreaking havoc as the soulless tend to do. But his brother had friends in high places. Death himself rescued the human's soul."
Gabriel shot back to his feet. "My God...Sam must be nearly dead from all that time in the cage. With what his soul's been through-"
Metatron said, "Sit down. This was years ago. Let me finish."
Gabriel sat back down slowly. Why was Metatron telling him all of this?
Metatron continued, "The human, now whole, needed a wall in his mind, keep the Hell from spilling out, but that angel, Castiel, was playing God. He tore the wall down. The poor human lost his mind. But then, the angel Castiel...he took the insanity and fixed the human. After a trip to purgatory, the angel, too, was sane."
"What does this have to do with Sam now?" Gabriel asked.
Metatron said, "I'm getting there. All the best stories are long, Gabriel. Anyway, the human found a prophet, thought he could perform the trials to close the gates of Hell."
"But he would die!"
"That he learned. He was not, shall I say, overly concerned about dying. But his brother, his brother wouldn't let him die. He tricked his brother into letting an angel inside. It was a fallen angel named Gadreel. You may remember him. He let the snake into the garden."
Gabriel was on his feet again. "Gadreel is in Sam?!" he roared.
"Sit, sit. He was in Sam. They forced him out. Here's where the story gets interesting," Metatron said, "The scribe of Heaven...me...saw some potential in Castiel. Angels had backed him before, and I needed a false idol. How else could I truly be the new God without their knowledge that I alone can be trusted? That's where you come in, Gabriel. I knew Castiel would not willingly lead angels against me, I knew he'd need to be taught. And you were always so good at teaching lessons. It's up to you to decide where the story goes from here."
Gabriel asked, "You want me to get Castiel to fight you?"
"Yes."
"What if he wins?"
"He won't."
"What if I say no?"
"You won't."
"I wouldn't be so sure," Gabriel said. He moved to snap his fingers when Metatron held up a hand.
The scribe said, "I wouldn't be so hasty. See, there's always a moral to the story. This one is pretty simple. Gadreel used your human as a vessel. He left grace inside him. I control Gadreel. I wrote the angel tablet. If you don't help me get Castiel to play his role, I will use that grace to destroy Sam Winchester."
Gabriel dropped his archangel blade into his hand and took a step towards Metatron.
"I wouldn't do that," Metatron warned.
"Good thing I'm not you, then," Gabriel said. He sunk his blade deep into Metatron's chest.
Metatron smirked and met Gabriel's gaze. He said, "I already told you, I'm the new God. Now, do we have a deal or not?"
Gabriel glared at Metatron. He wasn't about to lose Sam after so recently realizing the kid was alive. Of course, that was assuming Metatron wasn't lying. Gabriel couldn't risk it. "What do you need me to do?" he asked.
Metatron grinned widely, and Gabriel resisted the urge to punch his teeth in.
Metatron gestured behind Gabriel. Gabriel turned to see Castiel, unconscious and tied to a chair. Shit.
"I'm going to give you a script," Metatron said, "I'll let you put your own spin on it, but if you deviate too much, Sam will be in for a world of hurt. Got it?"
Gabriel nodded.
Castiel was in his motel room when Gabriel arrived. His entrance had to be perfect. Flawless. Metatron was watching, so Gabriel needed to make this authentic.
The TV in Cas' room turned on. Cas tried turning it off, but it didn't work. Like the turn of a knob would ever thwart Gabriel's theatrics. Please.
"Sometimes, you need a break from the hustle and bustle of city life. #AmIRite?" the woman in the Casa Erotica 14 video said, "Sometimes, you need #CasaErotica. Casa Erotica."
"That's inappropriate," Castiel said. Gabriel really needed to help his baby bro loosen up at some point.
A knock came at the woman's door. She got off the bed in ankle-breaking heels and walked seductively to the door. She opened the door to reveal Gabriel in his full porn-star mustachioed glory.
"Hello," Gabriel said, "Remember me, bucko?"
"Gabriel," Cas muttered, shocked.
Gabriel removed his porn-stache and said, "I'm gonna take that as a yes." He tossed the mustache, snapped his fingers, and the TV went dark.
Gabriel appeared behind Castiel. Seeing Cas again made him feel this small sort of affection for the guy. He missed Cas. And Dean. And Sam. Especially Sam. Everything about his old life, really. He needed to find a way to tip off Cas about Metatron. Metatron was clearly not up to anything good. Gabriel needed to protect Sam, but he also needed to protect his brother.
Castiel slowly turned around.
Gabriel said, "I need your help, brother."
When Cas recovered from his shock, he said, "I thought you were dead."
"Please. You can't take the trick out of the Trickster," Gabriel said.
Cas said, "So, I assume you faked your own death."
"And I assume you weren't let into MENSA while I was gone," Gabriel said. He fought a smile at his quip. He needed to let Cas know something was amiss. He wished he'd been closer to Cas as brothers. Maybe they'd have codewords like the Winchesters. It would be so easy to sneak 'Funkytown' into conversation instead of hope Cas could catch some really, very subtle hints that hopefully Metatron wouldn't notice.
"Where have you been?" Castiel asked.
"Oh, you know," Gabriel said, "Hither a side of Yon. I was hiding, Captain Side Eyes. In the safest place in the universe. Heaven. But then you and the other two stooges had to go a ruin Christmas, now, didn't ya?"
"Sorry," Cas said.
"Oh, cry me a river," Gabriel said. He turned away from Cas to conceal his reaction. Holy shit. Sam really was alive. Cas would've asked who the other stooge was, he would've said something. Sam was alive. Holy fucking shit.
He composed his face after a second and turned back to his brother. "Look, I dropped, I hid. I finally watched 'Downton Abbey.' But then, your BFF, Metatron, sent his minions out looking for me. Apparently, he thinks since I'm an archangel that I have extra juice."
"And that you're a threat," Cas said.
"Yeah, but I got hurt in the fall, too. Used most of my juice to get back into porn. That came out wrong. So did that," Gabriel said, "Uh, the point is, I've been on the run. But then, a few weeks ago, somebody started playing my song."
"The angel siren."
"No. The Horn of Gabriel. One of Dad's little party favors that I never got around to messing with. Metatron dug it up and started blowing, so I came out of hiding." Gabriel had actually used the Horn once during the war against the Darkness. It was a detail that he hoped Cas would know, but apparently he didn't.
"Why?" Cas asked.
Gabriel said, "There's safety in numbers, but Metatron was using it to trap angels, not unite them." As if that would bother him. After Lucifer got put back in the box, Gabriel had been doing a seriously good job of ignoring Heaven and all the shenanigans they'd been getting up to. It wasn't his problem anymore.
"It wasn't Metatron," Castiel said, "It was his second in command, Gadreel."
"Gadreel? That old chestnut? Wow," Gabriel said.
"What do you want from me?" Cas asked.
"Your help, Columbo," Gabriel said, getting up off of the motel couch, "I'm getting the band back together. We're going on the Kill Metatron Tour, and you're looking at the new front man."
They were in Cas' car, driving Dad knows where, and Castiel had completely let his guard down. Even though it warmed Gabriel's heart to know that Castiel had the capacity to trust him again, now was really not the time. Cas had to know that something was up.
Cas got Dean's voicemail. "Dean, it's me. I'm-" he started.
Gabriel said, "Ho, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hands-free much?" He snatched the phone away from Cas. "Both on the wheel, I'm precious cargo," he said. He spoke into the phone knowing full well the call would go nowhere. "Hey, what's up, shorties? Remember me, the guy who died for your sins? No, not the cat with the beard and sandals-the hot one. Hey, thank you so much for the flowers and condolences, really meant a lot to the fam. Any old how, your boy toy and I are rolling our way towards your top secret domicile. Ooh! Call to discuss."
Gabriel hung up the phone and handed it back to Castiel. "Those kooky kids," he said.
"So, you've been back for months," Cas said, "What have you seen out there?"
"After it was raining winged men, hallelujah?" Gabriel said, looking out the window, "Well, you know-total nigh-biblical chaos, Crowley and Aba-douche duking it out. Good times. And then there's our peeps, scattered like confetti."
"There has been a lot of confusion," Cas said.
"You think?" Gabriel asked, looking back at Cas, "Most angels aren't like us, Castiel. They can't handle this whole free-will thing. They're sheep, drones. But us? We're different. We're rebels, one without a cause, one with."
"I'm just a soldier," Castiel said.
"Bitch, please," Gabriel said, "You've been God more often than Dad has."
Cas chuckled and said, "Yeah, look how that worked out."
"Well, go ahead. Be a soldier all you want. I'm gonna need as many as I can find," Gabriel said.
"Why are you doing this, Gabriel?" Cas asked.
"I always run. From Dad, from the family. I don't want to run anymore. I want to do what I was meant to do. Lead," Gabriel said. Now, if that didn't set off alarm bells for Cas, he didn't know what would. Gabriel? Leading Heaven? Even if he were serious, that sounded like a horrific idea.
"Well, we need a leader," Cas said, "And I'm glad it's gonna be you."
Gabriel wanted to bang his head into something. Instead, he clapped a hand on Cas' shoulder and looked out the window. How on earth could Cas not realize that this was a plan that Gabriel would never follow? How little did his brother know him?
"A little low on gas, aren't we?" Gabriel said. Cas should've questioned how Gabriel knew that while looking out the window. Cas should've questioned why Gabriel wanted to lead now instead of the millions of years before.
Instead, Cas muttered a quiet, "Oh, you're right," and pulled up to the nearest Gas-n-Sip.
They walked inside the gas station. "Ooh, smell that cancer," Gabriel said, "Delicious." Even the Winchesters knew how much he loved sweets and candy. Even Dean would know that he would never call it 'cancer.'
But Cas was just not getting it. Shit. Something had to give this away.
A car drove up full of angry Metatron-lovers.
"Uh, remember the minions of Metatron I told you about?" Gabriel asked, looking towards the door.
Cas was so bad at figuring out this game, he wasn't even listening anymore. Gabriel grabbed Cas' jaw and physically turned his head to look at the angels that were about to try to kill them. Cas saw that they were in danger, and Gabriel locked the gas station door.
"We'll never keep these guys out of here," Gabriel said.
"I know," Castiel said, "So, we fight."
Gabriel said, "No. I fight." He pulled out his angel blade. He'd made this one out of a Pepsi Max can. He turned to Cas and said, "I lied before. I never watched 'Downton Abbey.' I just wanted to fit in. Oh, and I do have some archangel juice left. I can hold these boneheads off long enough."
"Long enough for what?" Cas asked.
Gabriel said, "For you to get out of here."
"No," Cas said, rushing towards Gabriel, "I'm not leaving you."
"Yes, you are," Gabriel said, "Those guys will cut you to ribbons, but I can stall them long enough for you to amscray. And you can take my place."
"What are you talking about?" Cas asked.
"The angels needs a leader, and it's gotta be somebody like us, somebody different."
"No."
"I know you don't want this burden, Castiel," Gabriel said, "Neither do I."
Cas asked, "What if I fail again?"
Gabriel grabbed Cas' shoulder, pulling him closer. "You won't," he said, "You can't."
Castiel hugged Gabriel. Gabriel's heart broke a little. Cas had to notice. He had to feel that something was wrong.
"Thank you," Cas said.
Gabriel said, "Shut up."
Cas turned to leave out the back and stopped. Gabriel faced the oncoming angels but noticed Cas stall.
"Haven't got all day, hotpants," Gabriel said.
"Was any of this real?" Castiel asked.
Gabriel asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"
The angels broke through the front door. Gabriel turned and gave Cas a shove. "Cas, go!" he shouted urgently.
Castiel didn't move.
"So, what?" Gabriel asked, "We both die here?"
"No," Castiel said, "You're already dead."
Cas slid his angel blade into Gabriel's stomach. Since this was Gabriel's illusion, he let the blade slide right in. So, Cas had noticed. Gabriel was a little proud.
"Well," Gabriel said, snapping his fingers and removing the attacking angels, "What gave it all away?"
"My coat was torn earlier today," Cas said.
Gabriel said a half-hearted, "Ah, crap. I really hate continuity errors."
"So, none of this is real, and I'm guessing that I'm no longer in the motel," Cas said.
"Here's the thing," Gabriel said, "None of it was real, but all of it was true."
Cas asked, "Who's truth? Yours or Metatron's?"
"Just hear him out, would you?" Gabriel said, reading directly from the script for once, "He's trying to help you."
"Really?" Cas asked, "How?"
Metatron hadn't prepared an answer to that. Gabriel was glad. He didn't want to dick his brother around anymore. "Sorry," he said with a sheepish grin, "Didn't read the whole script, just, uh, skimmed for my parts."
Gabriel knew it was time to leave, but he stopped for a second and said, "Well, it's good to see you, Old Bean." He raised his hand to snap his fingers.
"Wait," Cas said, "Are you dead?"
Gabriel gave him a look, a look that only the true Trickster could pull off, and bounced his eyebrows. He snapped his fingers.
Gabriel stood in front of Metatron's desk and said, "It's not my fault he figured it out."
Metatron said, "I know, I know. I didn't notice the jacket either."
"I played my part. No fucking with Sam?" Gabriel asked.
"I'm a man of my word," Metatron said.
Gabriel doubted that. He doubted that greatly. "What are you gonna do with Cas?" he asked, looking at his sleeping brother.
"I'm just going to talk to him, get him to see how the story is supposed to go. Don't you worry about it."
Gabriel sighed. He didn't like it, but Metatron was super-charged somehow. He wasn't in a position to do something about it. "Just promise me you won't tell Cas that I'm alive," he said.
Metatron's eyebrows shot into his hairline. "Not the promise I thought you'd ask of me," he said, "Aren't you planning on running to the Winchesters' side, helping them sort through all this Heaven and Hell stuff?"
Gabriel sighed. He'd stayed away from Sam for years. At first, it was because he needed to protect him from Lucifer. Then, it was because Gabriel hadn't had a clue that Sam was back. Now, though. Now, it was out of fear. Sam had lived years without him. He'd moved on. He was managing without him. Gabriel's sudden appearance would be startling if not capable of derailing Sam's whole lifestyle. Honestly, the Sam he knew was probably long gone. As was the secretive Trickster that Sam had come to know. Sam was better off without him.
"No," Gabriel said, "No, I've got a hot tub in Haiti with my name on it."
Metatron smiled and said, "So the plot thickens."
Gabriel snapped his fingers and left.
But he didn't go far. He needed to keep an eye on Cas. Whatever Metatron had planned was not good.
So, Gabriel watched. He watched Metatron tell Cas what role he'd like him to play. The joke was on Metatron, though. He had no idea how horrible Cas and the Winchesters were at playing their roles and following a plan. He listened to Metatron's plan to exchange Cas for Gadreel. He watched as Dean and Sam pulled up to the meeting place in the Impala.
It had been years. Gabriel had liked to think that he'd gotten over the loss of Sam. But he was wrong. Sam's hair was longer. And he seemed taller, if that were even possible. But it was still Sam. He knew from the moment he laid eyes on Sam Winchester again that there would be no more staying away. He just had to figure out the right entrance.
Gabriel followed Cas, Sam, and Dean as they drove in the Impala. He watched, waiting for Cas to mention him and what had happened. But he didn't. Not during the whole drive back to Cas' motel room.
Gabriel stopped watching, content to just listen as Sam and Dean drove off. Dean was still listening to classic rock on the radio. Neither of them were singing along, though. It gave Gabriel enough quiet to plan a big entrance. There could be balloons and fireworks and full marching band. Or maybe he could show up in Sam's dreams and give him the best dream of his life before making it happen in reality. Maybe he could show up naked, playing "Heat of the Moment" on the kazoo. That thought was winning out when Gabriel heard Sam's phone ring.
It had been hours. Sam was sitting on the edge of a motel bed as he picked up his phone.
Gabriel flew quickly and landed just outside of the motel room. He made himself invisible with a single thought. He wanted to hear who was on the other line, and getting caught wasn't a part of his plan.
It was Cas.
"Is Dean with you?" Cas asked.
Sam said, "No. He couldn't sleep. He's at a bar."
"This is actually good timing, then," Castiel said, "I need to discuss something with you."
"Something Dean can't hear?" Sam asked.
Cas said, "Sam, I think Gabriel's alive."
Sam nearly dropped his phone. Gabriel grinned.
He was about make a creative entrance involving a harp and a donkey when Sam said, "You'd better be wrong, Cas. Gabriel had better be dead."
Gabriel froze. No harps. No donkeys. Just stunned hurt. Had Sam really just said that? Well, if that was how the guy really felt...
Gabriel left, flew to a beach in New Zealand, and decided that he was much better off if he never thought about Sam Winchester ever again. His Sam was dead.
But the next day, Gabriel felt something he never thought he'd feel again. Sam was praying to him.
Gabriel sat up slowly in the sand, listening intently to the words floating through his mind.
"Gabriel, if you're really alive, get your ass here right now," Sam prayed.
Gabriel had heard was Sam said the day before. He'd just as likely be flying into Sam's arms as he'd be flying into a death trap. He didn't hesitate a second.
Gabriel flew to the bunker as fast as he could. He stood in Sam's room behind the gigantic hunter.
Sam said in prayer, "Gabriel, if you can hear this-"
Gabriel cut him off. "Hey, kiddo."