More drabbles! Though clearly the last drabble wasn't one of my better ones from what I can tell.

Okay so this one was one that I came across from one of those 'AU lists' on tumblr that you see every now and then. And for some reason it just seemed to fit so nicely with this ship, so I hope you enjoy the hijinks!

The summary just wouldn't fit, so I just put the AU title instead.

Better Catch

Comedy

Summary: Regina Mills has always felt extremely satisfied with one-night stands, thank you very much. But after her friend Marian decides that it's high time Regina at least try dating, Regina agrees to be paired up on a blind date, if only to prove that she didn't do long-term commitments. Enter Emma Swan, their server for the evening, who just so happens to have been one of Regina's countless past one-night stands.

Prompted by: Me! - This Awkward Blind Date Just Got More Awkward Because I Had A One-Night-Stand With The Waiter AU

Warnings/Notes: None at all, just good ole comedy of two people denying their chemistry and a twinge of jealousy. And Emma making dirty jokes to rile Regina up, as well as being a part time ass.

"Honestly Regina, you can't tell me that your needs are only physical," Marian huffed, levelling her friend with a small glare.

Regina dryly parroted, "My needs are only physical."

Marian wasn't convinced, and made a point of sticking out her tongue for the sass. "You're telling me that you're fine with just having sex, and not experiencing the comfort of being wanted?"

"Of course I'm wanted. Every single woman I've bedded has wanted me," she haughtily responded, with the confidence that came of knowing that she was gorgeous.

"You know what I mean," Marian groaned, lowering her face onto her right hand in exasperation. It had been an argument they've had countless times. Trying to convince Regina Mills, the veritable ice queen, to open herself up to love was proving harder than getting Roland to eat his veggies. And that was saying something, because Marian literally had had to use the dirtiest tricks in her playbook to get Roland to eat the 'bad nasty food', as he had coined it.

As it was, that didn't stop Marian from trying once more. They were sitting in Marian's living room, enjoying a lazy Sunday together while Marian's wife, Rapunzel, took Roland for a day in the park to take advantage of the sunny day.

"Perhaps I've given up on trying to attain such a thing," Regina dismissively noted.

"Ah ha!" Marian exclaimed triumphantly, smacking her palm on her lap with such a force that the cup of coffee she was holding in her other hand nearly sloshed over. "So your problem isn't that you don't want to be loved, it's that you've been broken-hearted so many times that you're afraid of opening up to someone new."

Regina chose not to answer, instead taking a long sip of her own mug of coffee. She was too proud to admit that she was afraid of something.

But Marian wasn't having it. "Oh no way missy, you are not going to avoid the question. And you know what? I'm going to prove to you that you can have happiness."

"You are?" Regina didn't like the mischievous glint her friend had in her eyes.

Marian looked smug at Regina's reluctant reaction. "Yep, I am going to make you go on a blind date with someone of my choosing, who I think you'll like, and I just want you to try to enjoy it, please?"

"Fine, but if this goes terrible, you owe me," she warned, pointing at her threateningly.

"Alright, but only if you don't sabotage this, I want you to genuinely attempt to make this work."

Emma needed tonight to be over.

Her feet were aching, her muscles were sore, and her standard uniform dress shirt was stained in at least 5 different places, one of them with enough garlic sauce to stink up anyone she approached.

"You've got one more table, Swan," David told her as he waltzed in, arms laden with plates that he was helping Ashley to clear. "Smoking hot ladies on a date."

Great. All she needed were googly eyes while she had to explain the day's specials. With a resolution that only came from the pure determination of knowing that soon she'd be able to clock out for the night, she exited the kitchen and headed back out to where she saw the two women she was meant to be serving.

As she got closer, her stomach somersaulted. She recognized the woman on the right. In fact, she remembered exactly where she knew her from.

"Good evening ladies, and welcome to Storybrooke Restaurant. My name is Emma, and I'll be taking your orders," Emma greeted, smile plastered on her face and cheery demeanour at full strength. She glanced at the familiar face for a sign of recognition.

By the look that she got, the woman also remembered precisely who Emma was. The other woman in the date, a mousy brunette in a yellow sundress, was politely smiling at Emma, completely oblivious to the history that her date and server shared. Not that said history was long. It was one night maybe about two weeks ago, as well as the next disastrous morning. But Emma could've sworn she was told, in no uncertain terms, that the other woman didn't do dating. And this looked very much like a date.

"So are you ladies ready to order or would you like to peruse our menu a little bit more to decide on what finger-licking goodness you'll have?" Emma continued, with a smirk that left absolutely no doubt to the well-informed of her double-entendre.

Regina was going to kill her server. As if being on a date with what seemed was a literal Disney princess named Belle wasn't enough - she was certain Marian had a whole club of them; first Marian's own wife Rapunzel, now Regina's date had a princess' name? It was ridiculous - on top of that she was being faced with a past fling as her server? All of this without mentioning that being teased by said fling was grating at her nerves.

"We'll need another minute," Belle responded, entirely innocent to what was really going on.

"Alright, just let me know when you're ready, you want to be sure you've got the best meal when you're eating out, huh?" Emma quipped before leaving them.

Belle smiled before picking up her menu and flipping through it. "The waitress seems nice."

Regina gave a noncommittal hum. She didn't exactly think so, but then again, she wasn't going to tell her date - since she was at least attempting to not outright screw everything up to get out of here, as promised - that their waitress was clearly on a mission to sneak in as many innuendos as she could.

They were silent after that, perusing their individual menus. If this is what dating had turned into, Regina was so glad to be out of it. She liked to sidle up to someone, make her intentions clear, then get going to a private place where she could have her way with her woman of the night. And the next day, she'd leave before her fling awoke. The one exception had of course been Emma.

"Good morning," Emma drawled, sipping from her mug of coffee, leaning against the kitchen counter top, looking at Regina with a smirk.

Regina gave an undignified yelp, surprised that she was awake. She had thought that the lump of blankets beside her had meant that the woman had still been sleeping. Clearly she had been mistaken. As if being faced with her wasn't enough, the woman was clad only in her boy-shorts, giving Regina quite a view.

In a voice that didn't sound remorseful at all, Emma said, "Sorry for startling you."

"You didn't," was Regina's curt answer. She nailed her eyes to Emma's face, determined to not let her eyes wander over the expanse of skin on show.

Deciding that it wouldn't be worth it to pursue this argument, Emma let it slide. "So, I don't believe I got your name..."

"I didn't give it," Regina countered. "I'm not in the business of trading names with one-night stands."

With her free hand, Emma clutched at her heart mockingly, bringing Regina's eyes once more to her bare chest. "Oh you wound me, lady. Here I thought the sex last night would at least upgrade me to a 'casual regular'?"

Regina did have to admit - at least to herself - that the blonde had been spectacular last night. But she didn't do regulars. "Not a chance. It was a one-time thing, and I had been hoping to leave before you woke up in order to not disturb you, nor have this conversation."

Emma raised an eyebrow, looking bemused. "Right; so what was your plan? Leave my front door unlocked behind you? Must make you quite a hit with the ladies, it's not surprising you only do one night, I can't imagine people would want you coming back after you left them exposed like that."

She hadn't really thought about it like that, but then again, Regina wasn't exactly enjoying being told off by the half naked blonde who was having too much fun with this, so she was certainly not going to give her the satisfaction of admitting that she had a point. "What I do or don't do is none of your business. But if you must know, I'm not in the market for dating, so I prefer to only hook up one night, and that's it. Besides, I never see any of my past trysts again."

"Lucky you, I wouldn't mind having that happen to me. I'm stuck in the 'small world' version where my awkward dates always somehow show up again."

"How unbearably dull for you," Regina commented, before she finished dressing herself and made her way to the door.

Emma called out, "What, no coffee?"

She got no response, save for a door slamming closed.

"So, what happened to not dating?" Emma asked, returning to Regina's table. Belle had gone to the bathroom, leaving poor Regina in prime position to be pounced by Emma.

Regina took a careful sip of her wine before responding, "Are all servers in this restaurant this rude and intrusive?"

"I'd hope not, otherwise it'd be kinda bad for business," Emma responded with a thoughtful look. "And I prefer to call it curiosity, since you seem to have the attitude of someone slowly dying while on this date."

"Perhaps this isn't a date," Regina responded, not deigning Emma to be important enough to be looked at.

Emma scoffed. "Right, then I have to inform you, your 'friend' is quite smitten with you, she had the yearning doe eyes and everything."

Regina ground her teeth together, before whipping her head to look up at Emma. "Are you honestly that persistently annoying?"

"I like to consider myself as irresistible," Emma countered with a wink. She knew she was being an ass, but the brunette in front of her just made it so easy, especially after her scathing attitude as she left and her mightier-than-thou attitude right at that moment.

"If that's the case, then I'm sure you will be able to find plenty of other women whom you'll be able to charm the pants out of. Meanwhile, I've got my date, and she's returning now," Regina retorted with a saccharine smile, gesturing to her approaching partner.

Emma flared her nostrils but returned the fake smile in kind. When Belle was seated, Emma asked, "So! Are you ladies ready to order?"

"Actually yes!" Belle responded enthusiastically. Emma took both their orders, and when they were done, she collected the menus.

"I'll be back with your food in a bit ladies, meanwhile, you two can spend the time thoroughly exploring each other," Emma said with a wicked grin before she left.

Regina was ready to tear her waitress a new one, but she tamped down on the urge when she saw that once again, the double entendre had clearly flown over Belle's head.

"So Regina, what do you do?" Belle asked after sipping her drink.

"I'm the CEO of my own publishing company, Mills Publications," Regina responded, grabbing a scone that had been deposited earlier.

Belle's mouth fell open. "Wait, you're that Mills?"

Regina was used to these kinds of reactions. To be honest, the reactions made her extremely exasperated and also led to Regina's lack of interest in dating. Every time it was the same thing. Shock, followed by intrigue and curiosity, finally leading to sweet-talking in order to try and score a favour from the world-renown publishing house. "Yes, indeed."

Much to her surprise, Belle's shock was due to the fact that she worked at a library, and therefore was well-versed on these things. Regina was beginning to find that maybe Marian's pick for her wasn't actually that bad; they began to talk more freely, discussing everything to do with books, sometimes branching onto movies and other topics.

And then their waitress had to return. "Alright, your scrumptious dishes are ready!"

While the food was handed out, Regina was impressed that there had been no innuendos, maybe she had gotten through with the other woman or she had finally given up.

"Enjoy your meals, I can personally guarantee it'll be orgasmic," Emma cheekily said before walking away.

Belle, none the wiser, said, "That's a weird way to compliment the food."

Regina just fumed and stabbed her steak with a ferocity that the poor slab of meat certainly didn't deserve.

At one point, Regina saw that Emma was nearby, and timing her moves precisely, Regina gathered a forkful of mashed potatoes, and made sure to lick her fork clean just as the waitress turned to look at her.

The expression of pure gaping shock was a sufficient victory for Regina. Two could play at this game.

A while later, Belle excused herself to go to the bathroom yet again, and like clockwork, Emma showed up. "Does she have bowel problems?"

Regina glared at her for her lack of tact. "Really, your manners just keep deteriorating every time we talk. Why does it matter to you if my date goes to the bathroom or not?"

"Because she's done it like three times," Emma countered. "Either she's calling someone to whisk her away under the guise of some ridiculous excuse like forgetting the stove was lefton, or you're under surveillance, and her handler's in the bathroom waiting to hear reports every ten minutes."

Although Regina would never admit it, the second option was actually quite funny. Instead of allowing her lips to quiver in amusement, she just stayed impassive, looked up at her waitress and said, "Again, why would it matter to you?"

Emma huffed and between gritted teeth, she said, "I hope you're enjoying your meal then."

Belle returned a minute later, and Regina's curiosity had been piqued with Emma's comment. "Is everything alright? You seem to be heading to the bathroom quite a lot."

"Sorry," Belle apologized with a sheepish smile. "I'm just a bit nervous and my hands get a bit clammy so I have to go and wash them.."

"Nervous? What for?"

"This! It's been a while since I've dated, and I've never gone out with a woman, so this is kind of daunting."

Regina nodded in understanding. Such a precious woman she had in front of her, Regina was looking forward to corrupting her tonight. "Well you don't have anything to be nervous for, I promise I don't bite. Well...unless you want me to."

That turned out to be the wrong thing to say since Belle rushed off again.

"Clearly your charms are working wonders." Regina closed her eyes and prayed to whatever deity that might be listening to grant her strength to not shank the woman with the steak knife on her table.

"Or perhaps, she just needs to go to the washroom," she bit back.

Emma snorted and leaned against the booth entrance across from Regina. "If it makes you feel better, then yeah sure, she's just going to the bathroom."

"She's nervous, are you really going to fault her for it?"

Holding her hands up in a gesture of surrender, Emma said, "Alright, if that's what you want to believe, I won't argue."

Regina narrowed her eyes, trying to discern why exactly this infuriating woman wouldn't just leave well enough alone. And then it clicked on her. "You're jealous."

The bravado and confident stance faltered ever so slightly as Emma said, with no tact at all, "What?"

Smirking, Regina continued digging the knife in. "Oh yes, you're very jealous that I'm here on a date with Belle, while you were just a one-night stand, isn't that it? You think you deserve better."

"That's not true!" Emma retorted, spluttering.

"Of course not, if that's what you want to believe," Regina added, using Emma's own words. "You totally think you're a better catch than her, don't you?"

Emma didn't even deign that with a response, instead she just made her way to another table, leaving Regina claiming victory yet again.

Thankfully, Emma didn't return for the rest of the meal, and when they wrapped up and asked for the bill, Emma didn't add any innuendos and she thought the rest of the evening would be without witty commentaries.

Or so Regina thought.

Regina had said she would pay the bill, so when Emma handed her the little black booklet with the ticket tucked inside, she nearly flushed red at the message scrawled at the bottom.

'Alright, I concede to being jealous. But come on, you gotta admit I have charm, and wouldn't run off to go to the bathroom every time you said something vaguely sensual - believe me, I was checking.

So, if you want, I get off in 5 mins. And not that kind of off, just free from work.'

Regina pursed her lips and just paid, not looking up at her waitress as she whisked the card away to pay at the station. She debated on how she should tip her, but was fortunately saved from it by Belle who said, "I'll take care of the tip, it's the least I can do since you are paying."

By the time they were ready to leave, Regina was opening her mouth to say that they could continue at her place, when Belle said, "Thank you so much for tonight, it was wonderful, even if I was a nervous wreck. Maybe we can do this again sometime?"

"Uh, certainly," Regina hoarsely replied. Her brain was short-circuiting. That was it?

After Belle left, Regina was still standing slack-jawed in the parking lot, until she heard a melodious chuckle and "You look like a kicked puppy."

Regina whipped around and saw the bane of her existence strutting up to her. Deciding to throw all her inhibitions to the wind, she stalked forward and crashed her lips onto the blonde's.

When she got a very eager response to her bruising kiss, Regina at least knew her night was ending satisfactorily, even if it wasn't how she had originally thought it would go.

About a week later, Emma was on the phone and in a rush. "I'm really sorry David, can't you get someone else to cover the shifts?"

"Sorry Em, everyone's booked or busy," David responded.

"And I'm busy too!" she countered with a huff. "Just because I'm your sister-"

David let out a chuckle. "Okay okay, I may be working you a little bit hard. But you're one of the best people I know to work the restaurant, and it's going to be super chaotic, and I'd rather not have to hire more people."

"I know, I'll try to see if I can talk to my boss. But now I've got to go and see if I can get hired, talk to you later!" Without waiting for a response, Emma ended the call and ran out of her apartment, heading to the bus stop.

Emma was running a hectic life. She worked two jobs to try and pay her bills, food, tuition, materials, and to make ends meet. She was studying arts at the local college, and it wasn't cheap. David had tried to help her, but Emma vehemently denied. She was stubborn and preferred to pay her own way, otherwise she would feel like she owed people, and Emma hated it. But he insisted and eventually settled on a compromise. She would help out at his restaurant, and would get paid what she was due. Of course, the minimum wage such a job offered wasn't enough, so she had another job working retail.

But, working all the time was draining her, so she decided that she would instead get one better paying job, which would allow her some breathing space, and she could quit the retail job and only help David on weekends. Which was why she was currently heading to Mills Publications, hoping to snag a position as an assistant. Emma hadn't originally thought assistants were paid much, but from what she saw in the job ad, one hour working as an assistant would pay more than what she was paid in an entire day working both jobs, so she rushed to apply, put her right foot forward, and was now heading into the final stages of this arduous process. She had already had one interview with Kathryn, the Hiring Manager, but she hadn't divulged too many details on who she'd be working for.

Imagine her surprise, when she was led to meet her employer, and found none other than the woman who had refused to leave her dreams alone. Her mouth dried up, and she recalled the last time she had seen her.

"Where are you going?" a husky voice filled with sleep asked. Emma froze and swivelled around.

"Just the bathroom."

Satisfied with her answer, Regina just hummed and said, "I thought you were running away before I awoke."

Emma snorted. "That's your area of expertise, not mine."

When Emma exited the bathroom, her heart sunk at seeing it was empty, but she remembered that she was the guest here, so there was no way the gorgeous brunette was going anywhere. And indeed, she found her in the kitchen, preparing breakfast, wearing a silk red robe.

"So, still think that your date would've led to a better night?" Emma asked with a confident smirk.

Regina let out a soft chuckle. "Well it's not like she was offering, so it's not really fair." Emma pouted, so she added, "But if you want to know whether I enjoyed last night, I did. Though I could've done without the asinine innuendos all throughout my date."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, you loved it, you were trying not to smile, but I saw your lips quiver." Regina tried to keep from smiling right then, leading Emma to point at her and exclaim, "See, you're doing it now!"

"Fine fine, you do have some charm despite your inopportune timing."

"Inopportune timing, sure," Emma snorted.

Rather than add another quip, Regina just went to give Emma a deep kiss, one that made her knees weak and her desire to take Regina over the counter top to mount.

Once they broke apart, Emma felt confident enough to ask, "So, does this mean I've been upgraded?"

"We'll see."

They had exchanged numbers and parted ways a little bit after that, and while they had kept in touch via text, hadn't seen each other for an entire week. In fact, they had been planning on a rendezvous that night.

"You're Kathryn's 'sure pick for a fantastically infallible assistant'?" Regina asked, surprise coating her voice.

Emma grinned. "Looks to be."

Quickly schooling her features, Regina beckoned Emma further inside. "Well then, let's get started."

Regina's mind was reeling. Kathryn had gushed about Miss Swan's qualifications, how friendly she was, and that she seemed really eager, essentially: the perfect candidate. So she asked the standard questions, glancing once more at Emma's resume. Indeed she now made the connection with the position at the restaurant noted in the work experience.

The responses Regina got were quite professional, she could see where Kathryn had gotten her conclusion. And then she asked. "And what do you think makes you stand out as a better candidate to be my assistant?"

Emma smirked and cheekily responded, "Well, I know what you like, and just how to make you satisfied, so I definitely think that gives me an edge."

Regina prayed that she wasn't blushing. She gave a small cough to clear her voice and continued with, "Is that so? And what if I told you that I have a strict policy on relationships between employees?"

"Then I'd call blasphemy on it, as well as insist that technically, you're not an employee, so we'd be safe. Unless your policy encourages relationships, to which case, ignore what I said before and count me in," Emma responded.

"Creative answer. I suppose it's worth giving you a chance," Regina responded with a salacious smirk. "Do you think you're up to it?"

Emma sat back on her chair and easily said, "I know it. After all, I need to prove to you I'm the better catch, don't I?"

Voila! That was that.

I'm still not sure if I managed to get it right, I'm not wholly satisfied with it, but I was dawdling so much on how it should go that I decided to just post it. hope it was enjoyable! I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I've got a few more drabbles that have been resting in the back burner waiting to be finished, so those'll be posted soon!