A/N: Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a update to this story! *Crawls under bed to die*

-Misty

Song of the day: Run Real Run

By: May'n

The Change You Wish to See

(Original summary, but screw the stupid character limits) Levi's never put much care into things. He doesn't put much care into things at all. Nothing ever peaks his interest. Well, that's until he meets Eren Jaeger. Levi isn't sure what it is that's so interesting about him, and it irritates him to feel these feelings he's never felt before. Regardless, he goes to talk to the boy. When he doesn't receive an answer, he just thinks that the boy is rude; however, he understands why when Eren doesn't answer him. Eren is deaf.

Rated M for sexual content, adult language, some violence, mild character death
Main pairing: Riren with some side pairs
Anime: Shingeki No Kyojin (Attack on Titan)

Chapter Fourteen: So Much for over With

"He won't talk to me..."

Eren's head hung low, pressed into the table for his cheek to be mushed against. Levi looked back at the teen from his sink, eyes narrowing at the sullen brunette as his hands continued drying off a cup. There was no point in responding, because Eren wouldn't hear him, but the words sat on his tongue, waiting to be said.

Golden eyes looked at him in his direction, just to make sure Levi had heard him, before looking away again. He took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh before reaching for his book bag to grab at his notebook. He hadn't expected they'd be here long, so he hadn't bothered pulling it out in the first place, but decided now was as good a time as any to do it. If they were going to stay like Eren wanted, then he'd need it.

The weather was getting bad again. Another foot of snow fell, roads looked terrible, and Levi was adamant about closing early and sending Eren home for the evening. Eren, however, like the little devil that he was, said they should go to Levi's apartment and rest for a while. How the brat convinced Levi of anything other than sending Eren home he didn't know, but he did know that the two of them had been here for an hour, and Mikasa and Armin, whether they were at school or not, hadn't suspected a thing.

"Is that so..." Levi muttered, more for himself then Eren. He went back to his task at finishing his dishes, just to get them out of the way so he didn't cringe.

"Levy...?" Eren called out. Levi looked back once more to see the teen motioning towards him, begging for the man to come his way. Levi clicked his tongue and set his cup down before going over to him. Looks like he wasn't going to get any work done any time soon.

"Yes, brat...?" He asked. Eren had long since learned how to read that by lips.

"Do I seem weak to you?" Eren asked in his notebook.

"Weak...?" Levi muttered, more to himself than meant for Eren. "No, you don't. Why would you ask that?"

"Sometimes I wonder if it's me. I always wonder if I let off some helpless aura and people feel that I instantly need their help."

"No, Eren. People assume the wrong things for the wrong reasons. It's just human nature, and you shouldn't take it to heart." Levi leaned back in his chair, noticing the dim look in those golden eyes of Eren's. "I know my words don't help, and it's something only you learn on your own, but hearing it is different than thinking you know it."

"I know that…" Levi could just hear the whining tone in Eren's handwriting. "Why do people do that?"

"Instinct? Hell if I know. Why do people stick giant loops in their ears to make them bigger?"

"That looks stupid though…" Eren answered.

"Well then maybe it's stupidity. Humans by nature are very stupid creatures."

"I can't imagine you doing something stupid…"

"You obviously don't know me. I did a lot of stupid stuff as a kid, Eren." To that, Eren seemed intrigued enough to lean forward in his seat.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Please tell me you aren't getting off on the idea of my life being crazy." The older man pleaded with a frown.

"Of course not! It's just the idea of someone like you doing something so…" Eren's writing trailed off as he tried thinking of proper words to use.

"Someone like me?" Levi asked.

"You're so calm, quiet, and collected. I can't imagine you with a beer in one hand and a woman around your hips."

"That is not the kind of shit I'm talking about, brat. I'm talking about stealing shit, or beating up someone who ever even looked the wrong way at my sister." The moment the words were written down on the paper, Levi's hand twisted to throw the eraser down. He wanted to erase them, but Eren was fast when it came to reading, and his fingers were already writing out a response before he could do it.

"So you were… A rebel of sorts?" Levi was glad Eren wasn't going to breach that subject, but Levi had already snapped at him once for doing it.

"Let's go with that. My point though is that I was pretty messed up. Most people are in ways. It's what makes us stupid."

"Do you think I do stupid things?" Eren asked, but the question, despite the subject, seemed so out of the blue.

"That depends on what you and I think is stupid. People think stupid can be a multitude of different things." Levi scratched the pencil along the paper for a moment. "Let's bring up Arlert for a moment. While you may think what he's doing towards you is confusing, and you don't quite understand it, I think he's just being an idiot."

"Hey…" The brunette instantly remarked.

"Well it's true. Obviously this is a situation he doesn't understand, and like most people, instead of facing it head on, he's trying to avoid it. He's smart though, so I know he knows that this won't solve anything. He'll get over it sooner or later."

Eren huffed with annoyance and leaned down on his hand, but Levi wasn't sure as to what he did it for. Was he annoyed by Levi's remark? Was he annoyed that Levi knew that was true, or did he not believe him?

"Okay, let me use another example." Eren's eyes followed Levi's hand as it wrote down the words in neat writing. "Armin is very smart, and obviously he's diverse in using sign language. He uses your notebook though, and I couldn't decide if that was because he felt his skills were inadequate or-"

Before Levi could finished writing, Eren's head snapped up like something was wrong. Levi stopped to question it, but Eren stole the pencil from his hand and scribbled over his handwriting.

"Hey, brat, what are you doing?" Levi asked, though Eren's eyes were on the paper and not him. There was no way Eren could catch that.

"I make Armin do that." Eren suddenly wrote down beside the scribbles he had created. He didn't offer the pencil back to the older man, however, so all Levi could do was tilt his head and hope for an explanation. "Armin's sign language is fine, perfect even. He's never had problems with it. It's me that has problems with it."

"Why?" Levi asked out loud.

"Whenever someone signs to me, it's just another reminder that I'm weak, so I have him write in my notebook. Somehow…" Eren's handwriting trailed off, and once again Levi forced his hand to move so he could continue. "Somehow reading something someone wrote is less painful than reading it from their hands."

For a moment, Levi's eyes lingered on the writing. Sure, he read the words, but it took a while for their meaning to take full effect within his head. It took a while for him to understand just what Eren was implying, and when he did, somehow, it was both funny and utterly depressing.

How could he have been so blind to it? How could he have been so stupid to see the real reasons that Eren used a notebook? It wasn't for Levi, Armin, or even the world. It was for himself and his own benefits.

Honestly, who was the one with a disability here?

"Levy…?" Eren asked, his brows furrowing in confusion and worry. He held out his pencil, but Levi shook his head and held out his hand. He wasn't going to need it for now. "Levy…?" Eren prompted again.

"I've…" Levi said out loud, but his finger fumbled to create the words he desperately wanted to say. Eren's golden eyes widened. "I've been learning sign language… So I can talk to you…" Levi felt weak, among other things, for the frequent pauses, but he wasn't as adept at it as Hanji was. It wasn't as easy when he was actually trying to hold a conversation.

"I thought… You used that, because of me…" He said and motioned to the notebook under Eren's arm. His eyes followed, but there was a subtle shake in Eren's shoulders that Levi couldn't pin point. "I guess I was wrong…?"

"Very…" Eren mumbled, but a small smile took place on his lips. That smile gave way to a grin, followed by a laugh, and after a moment, Eren was caught between laughing at the situation or crying about it.

This was not the same man he met a few months ago, was it? It most certainly didn't seem like it. He didn't think the man from before was so willing to do such a drastic thing for someone like him.

"I'm glad you find this funny." Levi wrote after quickly stealing his pencil back.

"No, no," Eren uttered and waved his hands. His cheeks hurt from the smile on his lips, but he couldn't help himself. When was the last time someone was willing to go this far for him? Besides Armin and Mikasa, he couldn't really remember.

Some people had tried, but failed to learn his language, and then just gave up all together. It was why he didn't have many friends. The ones that stuck around were the ones who were there from the beginning, Mikasa and Armin included, but in this day and age, it was hard to meet anyone who was willing to do that for him. "Thank you…"

"For what?" Levi asked, his fingers beginning to ache. Despite his practice with Hanji, this was physically more exhausting than what he had predicted.

"For everything…" Eren signed. Levi couldn't help the smile that pulled at the edges of his thin lips, and for a moment, just a moment, he forgot that what they had been talking about was relatively upsetting.

"Mikasa doesn't do that." Levi wrote down and held out the pencil for Eren, but the brunette saved him the trouble by pulling out another one so he wouldn't have to continue sharing it.

"I've asked her to. I fucking beg her to, but she won't do it. I don't really know why. I tried getting her to tell me, but she won't, so I just gave up after a while. I don't even think Armin knows why she won't write. Maybe it's more comforting for her if she doesn't do it, or maybe more convenient."

"And does she deliberately ignore your questions, or does she just give you random answers?"

"Both. Trust me, I've tried. She won't ever tell me I don't know why, I know it's always because of me… It's always me."

Somehow, this was a statement that didn't sit right with Levi.

"Why would you ever think that it's you, Eren?" Levi asked, positively confused by the boys words.

"Because life is unfair. I try to be happy for them, I really do, because when I'm happy, then so are they. When they see that I'm not suffering, it makes things easier for them, and all I want is for Armin and Mikasa to be happy... But life is so unfair and I can't seem to do it..."

"Eren, you can't blame yourself for this, and you can't be there for them when you can't take care of yourself. You have to worry about your mental state before theirs. Once you're really happy, then they'll be okay too."

"It never works. I thought it did at first, but seeing Armin flip out that way... I'm only making things worse."

"Eren," Levi said and grabbed at the teen's arm. "That's not true."

"I know Armin was protecting me too." Eren wrote down, eyes downcast on the paper and despondent. Levi's grey eyes seemed mesmerized by the look on the brats face. The way he stared off as if lost in his thoughts, though he was fully aware of the world around him. The cruel and unfair world around him. His eyes were caught in Eren's gaze as Eren continued to write. When Eren finished, his eyes fell to the paper under his hands, observing the neat handwriting on it.

"I used to protect Armin from bullies, and somewhere along the way, our rolls switched. I know he does it, but I let him. It makes him feel better about himself. Mikasa, on the other hand, does it out of fear of losing me. I know Mikasa is just protective of me, and I love her for that, but I'm nineteen... Why can't people see that I'm no different? Why can't people treat me like a nineteen year old? They treat me like I'm ten just because I can't hear things, and..."

Levi looked up after he noticed the writing trail off. Eren's hand shook, the pencil wobbly in his hand as he continued to write. This time, Levi didn't bother to wait until Eren was done writing. He watched the words as they were written down.

"I forced Mikasa into teaching me how to drive, but she doesn't let me do it even though I know how... She won't let me cook things by myself, and I know I'm not the best, but I'm definitely not the worst at it. I'm nineteen and I can't do things like fill a car with gas or swipe a credit card. I don't even know how to fill out a checkbook... I know she's just trying to protect me, but so is the rest of the world, and I just want to be treated like I'm a human, not an object..."

Eren finally got out what he needed to say, and his eyes were red with tears that were threatening to fall. His pencil was finally set down, and his hands receded to his lap where he waited for Levi's response.

Levi's eyes wandered from the paper to Eren, and then back to the paper. He didn't realize that Eren was so far off from the world, so distant and closed off. Not being able to swipe a card was one thing; hell, even Levi had issues trying to figure out which direction the card went into the slot. Not being able to drive or go places was another.

Eren had no freedom. He was trapped within walls that he wanted to be free of, but they were too tall of obstacles to climb.

He was trapped, and Levi wanted to help free him.

"Sorry, that was really awkward, wasn't it?" Eren suddenly scribbled over his previous words, his cheeks burning a bright red in embarrassment. "Let's talk about something else! So, I know you manage the store, but you don't own it, right? Why is it that I haven't met them yet?"

Levi scoffed at his words before standing up and stalking away from the kid. He opened up one of the kitchen drawers, searching around for the little black book he kept, but never in the same spot.

"Levy...?" Eren asked. Levi grumbled to himself and slammed the drawer shut, only to open up another one. His little black book was sitting right on top of a stack of bills, which Levi blatantly ignored in lieu of grabbing the book and shutting the drawer.

"Hold on," Levi signed and said, because it would take him a moment to remember how to sign what he needed to say. That was if he knew how to sign what it was he needed to say. Levi moved quickly to take his seat back beside Eren, setting the book down in front of the kid and watching as he got confused.

"What's this...?" Eren asked. Levi knew his sign language wasn't good enough to talk to the kid, not fully anyway. Besides, he was too upset right now to focus on signing anything.

"God forbid something were to happen to your sister. Where would you be then? You'd be pretty fucking lost." Levi wrote down in the notebook before opening the little, black book. Eren gave him an odd look before looking down into the book. He would definitely say he was more than a little surprised when he saw that the book was a book filled with blank checks.

"Levy..."

"You can't depend on your sister forever, so I'm going to teach you the basics of living on your own." Levi wrote down in the notebook.

"What...?" Eren asked, his eyes widening.

"We'll start with a checkbook first. Learning how to fill one of these out is important, so pay attention." Levi instructed and pulled a blank check out. He set it down against the table, ready to write out a fictitious amount before Eren grabbed at his hand and stopped him. Levi was going to question him, but Eren looked so lost and upset that the words were caught in his throat.

"What are you doing?" He signed.

"You can't..." Levi began, trying to remember how to sign. "Live like this... Eren, you need to know how... To be an adult, and someone needs to teach you. If Mikasa or Armin won't, then I will, because you... Can't live like this anymore."

Levi felt embarrassed for having to pause so much, felt embarrassed for his terrible excuse for sign language, but he needed to get his point across. Reading it in a book wasn't going to express the emotions he needed to convey, only his eyes, and he needed Eren's attention on him.

And on him it was.

Eren looked more upset than he should have been though. His gold eyes were wide and confused, slightly red with emotions. He looked like he was ready to cry, ready to fall apart on him, but why? Levi was only trying to help him.

Why was Eren so upset?

"Pay attention, alright? I may be writing this shit down, but I need you to stay focused on me. This isn't history class anymore. This is important, and you need to learn it." Levi wrote in the notebook. Eren's eyes looked over the words, and when he was done reading, Levi went ahead and moved to a new page. He was going to need room to write down the instructions.

So he began writing. Levi kept quiet, eyes on his words and the pencil writing them and nowhere else. Like this, he wasn't sure if Eren was paying attention or not, but that could be fixed. He looked down at his check book, trying to figure out what steps to take next after he was done writing them. He had to figure out how to even write them out so someone like Eren could understand them, because someone at nineteen wouldn't really understand the point of writing out a check. All they knew was that it involved money and that was it.

"Levy..." Eren mumbled.

"Brat, pay attention." Levi wrote off to the side before going back to his previous words.

"Levy," Eren said again, this time grabbing at Levi's hand and halting his writing. Levi sighed before setting down the pencil to confront Eren, but he was only left speechless when lips were on his own.

Levi's eyes widened, staring at the face attached to his so intimately. Eren's gold eyes were closed, his hand still holding Levi's with a tight grip, and the older man wasn't sure what to do at this point. What would anyone do at this point? Would they kiss back or push him away?

No. Levi realized with some surprise that he didn't want to push Eren away. He wanted the teen to keep kissing him, wanted to keep kissing Eren. The last and only time he got to kiss him was before they broke up, and he realized that he truly missed this. He missed the touch of Eren's lips on his own, missed feeling the touch of Eren's hand against his. He missed this sensation he got in his chest, like his lungs were aching with no reason or explanation for it, and he wasn't sure why. He didn't know what this sensation was or what it meant, but he knew he missed it, and only Eren made him feel this way.

All too soon though, Eren's lips were retreating. Levi had closed his eyes at some point, savoring the touch, but as soon as Eren's lips were gone, his eyes were open to question him. He didn't expect to find the kid wide eyed and crying, tears trailing down his redden cheeks. With breath heavy and strained, Levi opened his mouth to question him, but Eren beat him to it.

"Sorry..." Eren apologized, his head shaking slightly. "S-Sorry, I'm sorry," He apologized profusely before jumping up from his chair and heading for Levi's front door.

"H-Hey, Eren!" Levi called out, but he knew it was no good. The only thing he could do was get up and chase after him, so he did. He was barely able to catch him before Eren was out the door, shoeless and still crying his eyes out. Levi grabbed hold of the door and Eren at the same time, yanking back on Eren's shirt and shutting the door before Eren could worm his way through it.

Eren instantly protested with what could have been defined as a scream. His arms flailed, trying to free himself from Levi's grasp, but for all of his short stature, it was easy to see who had the upper hand, and that was Levi.

"Let me go!" Eren cried out as Levi grabbed at his arms.

"Stop it, Eren!" Levi yelled over him and held his arms against his chest. Eren tried anything and everything in a last ditch attempt to break free, but it didn't work. When he tried dropping to his knees, Levi pushed against him until he was trapped between the wall and the older man's body. When he tried using methods he had learned from self-defense class (all he had been forced to by his sister) Levi knew what he was planning. Even if he got loose, Levi was holding on to him with an even stronger grip than before.

No matter what he did, he couldn't get loose.

"Let me go..." Eren finally relented on his struggling, falling apart in the man's arms to cry against his shoulder.

"Damn it..." Levi cursed before wrapping his arms around the tall brat and holding him close. With Eren's head against his shoulder, with Eren's hands clinging to his chest, Levi couldn't help the sense of calm he felt.

He truly missed this. He missed his touch, his scent, and that stupid grin of his that didn't want to show.

Levi leaned back, pushing Eren off of his shoulder to look at his face. He placed his hands on his cheeks, breaking the path of tears spilling relentlessly from his big eyes. Eren sobbed heavily, his breath ragged and strained. Levi could see Eren trying to keep himself under control, but he just couldn't, not when he was like this. He was too upset to try that now.

"Hey..." Levi said softly. He didn't even know why, knowing Eren wouldn't be able to hear him, but somehow, it was more comforting for him.

Golden eyes, red and swollen from his sudden on slaughter of crying, looked up at him expectantly. For what? Levi wasn't sure himself. There was part of him that knew what though, and he'll call it instinct for now since he didn't know what else to call it.

"L-Levy…" Eren breathed just before the older man captured his lips in a kiss.

This was wrong. This was so wrong. He knew how wrong it was, but it felt good. It felt good to kiss him again, to just stand like this and hold him. It felt good for that familiar sensation of having his lips against Eren's, and oh, the sappy memories it brought back.

This wasn't some romantic comedy. This wasn't some happy ending type of story, so what the hell was going through his mind when his hands traveled down his neck, regardless of the tears along his palms? What was he thinking beyond the simple kiss?

No, it wasn't simple anymore. Not when he turned his head and braced a hand against the wall. Not when Eren's fingers slowly trailed up, further and higher from his waist to his shoulders. Those fingers treaded gingerly, but lightly as they smoothed over the skin of his neck and brushed against his hair, where they then rested. A casual brush of fingertips every now and again, but nothing beyond that as the two separated.

"Levy…" Eren whispered again, his voice shaking. It was only now that Levi noticed how much Eren was shaking, and it wasn't just his voice. His entire body was shaking, but from what, he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if it was from fear or anxiety, or maybe even both. All he knew was that Eren's shaking was for a reason that probably wasn't the same as to why Levi had a slight shiver going up his spine, or why he had goose bumps rising on his skin.

This was going to be a serious problem.

A/N: Did that make up for the lack of updates? x3