A/N: Ugh. Exam tomorrow. LOL. I also have a kitten. On my lap. Sleeping. Her name is Forple. This one has been...in the works for a while, and it didn't come out quite right, but it needed to be uploaded so we could move on.
That was the fourth slushie this week.
Blaine was over it.
Kurt rinsed his eyes with care and affection – they were hunched over the sinks in the school bathroom, and Kurt was chatting good-naturedly. He was used to this – he had gotten slushies almost every day and he was fine with it now – but Blaine wasn't. Blaine had been beaten up for being gay, so he went to Dalton and for three years, nothing was ever said against him.
But now the slushies were coming thick and fast, and the memories of his Sadie Hawkins dance kept coming back. He couldn't handle it anymore.
"Kurt…" Blaine's hand rested on Kurt's, which were administering to his curls, which were springing free. "I don't think I can do this anymore…"
Kurt chuckled. "What are you talking about? The syrup will come out eventually."
Blaine shook his head. "I mean…this…"
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
"I don't know how to wash syrup out of my hair."
Kurt laughed. "I'll be here to do it for you."
Blaine sat up properly, glancing at his hands. "You won't always be."
Kurt went silent, running his fingers through Blaine's hair gently. "Blaine…"
Blaine closed his eyes.
"I know…it's fine." He said, only just managing to disguise the shakiness of his voice. "We'll be fine."
^.^
They weren't going to be fine.
At least, Blaine wasn't.
He stood in front of his locker, shell-shocked as the word in red spat at him, glaring at him, hurling all the hate and loathing it had for him.
Faggot.
His eyes filled with tears, and a shocked Kurt was suddenly behind him, pulling him away and into the bathrooms.
"It doesn't mean anything, Blaine." Kurt soothed, though his own eyes were wide and disbelieving. "It's just a word, okay?"
It wasn't just a word. It was something larger than a word. It was hate. Pure hate, for who Blaine was.
He couldn't believe it. Didn't understand it. At Dalton, everyone had been so accepting, they didn't care about who was straight, or gay, or bi. Everyone was who they were. Here... It was different. If you were different from what these kids considered 'normal', it was practically open season. And somehow, Kurt was...used to it, could cope with getting bullied every day.
Blaine... Blaine wasn't.
"Blaine, Blaine please don't cry."
Blaine didn't even realise he was crying until Kurt was wiping away his tears with gentle fingers. "I promise everything will be fine…and then we'll leave high school and everything will get even better, okay?"
Blaine shook his head, struggling to speak through his tears.
"But... you're leaving." he choked out, and Kurt pulled him into his arms, holding him tightly as Blaine clung to him.
A guy walked into the bathroom then, hissing "Faggots" at them as he passed. Kurt glared at him, pulling Blaine into an empty stall and locking it as Blaine fought to get away. He was crying even harder, and Kurt tried his hardest to kiss the tears away.
"Kurt, please…just stop."
^.^
After that, things started to change.
Blaine stopped touching Kurt in public. He didn't offer an explanation – he just stopped pulling Kurt into hugs, and stopped kissing him on the cheek when they met up in the mornings.
At home, he was completely normal – loving him to bits. But in public, he shut off. It was like they weren't even going out any more.
Kurt was confused.
But every time he brought it up, Blaine would distract him - changing topics in public or pulling him into a kiss in private.
It took Kurt more than a week to get him to talk.
"Blaine, we have to talk." Kurt insisted, neatly dodging Blaine's lips as he tried to kiss him into submission.
Kurt caught himself staring longingly at them a second later and had to shake his head to get back on track.
Blaine actually looked worried, and Kurt sighed, running a hand down his face gently.
"What's going on?" he asked softly, and Blaine looked away.
"What do you mean?"
Kurt sighed. "I mean, why don't you kiss me at school?"
Blaine raised an eyebrow, but he blushed. "I…school isn't a place to kiss. It's for learning."
"Blaine, we snuck out of class once to make out in a closet. A closet." Kurt frowned. "You're more opposed to school than I am…"
Blaine stood up and stepped away, glaring out the window.
"Yeah, well I've changed my mind."
^.^
Blaine became less involved with Kurt at school – stopped touching him completely, even choosing to walk on the other side of the group when they were together. It would've been okay, but it started reflecting at home, too.
Kurt didn't notice it at first.
It was subtle, but one day Blaine didn't want to kiss. Didn't want to hold hands, didn't want to cuddle while watching a movie.
Blaine was slowly withdrawing himself, and it scared Kurt.
He couldn't understand why – didn't understand what was wrong.
Finally, he had to confront Blaine. It was the only way. He paused the movie, trying to keep his voice steady.
Blaine was curled up to the opposite end of the couch, giving him a quizzical look.
"Do you want to break up with me?"
Blaine looked up, eyes wide. "What? No!" his eyebrows furrowed. "Why would you even think that?"
Kurt sighed, his legs curling up under him.
"You just seem so…disinterested in me…and I can't seem to find out what I've done wrong…so…"
Blaine's face softened. "Kurt…it's not that…"
"Then what's wrong?""
Blaine shook his head, crawling over and kissing him gently. "Nothing. I love you."
Kurt wasn't convinced, but he wasn't going to push it. He cuddled into Blaine and accepted it.
^.^
It didn't last long.
By the end of the week, Blaine wouldn't touch him. He didn't really touch anyone anymore. He had retracted into himself, slinking along corridors and keeping away from social interaction. Kurt got more and more worried every single day.
Blaine still came over, but they just watched movies.
Kurt couldn't understand.
^.^
He started looking more and more tired, more detached from his life. He seemed to be living in a haze nowadays, keeping to himself and barely joining in.
The other members of Glee were getting concerned, and all turned to Kurt for ideas on what was wrong with him.
But Kurt couldn't provide it.
Finally, when Blaine came over, Kurt confronted him.
"I may not be able to help you." He said softly. "But I might…so please…let me in."
Blaine barely acknowledged him, blinking once or twice and chewing his lip.
"You've…blanketed yourself, baby." Kurt continued. "You've become someone I can't read anymore and you're guarding yourself, and it's scaring me." He swallowed hard, reaching out to tug on his arm. "Please, Blaine."
Blaine looked over, tears in his eyes, making gentle tracks down his face.
"I don't want to be gay anymore." He whispered, his eyes closing.
Kurt shuffled closer, pulling him into a hug. "What do you mean?"
"I love you…but I don't want to be gay."
Kurt blinked, still confused. He waited for Blaine to continue.
"I hate the looks. I hate the ridicule. I hate it all." He whispered. "The slushies, the insults…I can't do it anymore…"
Kurt swallowed hard. It felt like Blaine had just stabbed him in the gut with a knife, and was slowly turning it.
"So…you…"
"I don't want to break up with you." Blaine said softly. "But…I don't…want…" he groaned. "Once we get to New York…"
"Blaine, I'm not waiting a year to touch you. I want to be able to hold your hand in public." Kurt said quietly.
Blaine bit his lip, pulling back slightly.
"Um..."
"Blaine?" Kurt's eyes narrowed slightly as he waited.
"I'm transferring back to Dalton." Blaine said in a rush.
"...what?" Kurt pulled away from Blaine completely. "When did you decide that?"
"Two weeks ago." Blaine murmured, refusing to meet Kurt's gaze.
"When were you planning on telling me?"
"Before I left...?" Blaine's voice was even quieter now, ashamed. "I can't stay at McKinley, Kurt, I can't. I can't cope with it - the daily slushies, the name calling... I have no idea how you do!"
Kurt held his gaze. "Because I have Glee club... And I have you."
"I can't do it anymore Kurt." Blaine was looking up at him earnestly, pleading.
Kurt closed his eyes, pulling Blaine back into his arms.
"I know..." Kurt swallowed hard, sucking in a deep breath and willing himself not to cry. "I…think we should break up then."
Blaine's eyes went impossibly wide and he shook his head. "Kurt…"
Kurt nodded. "We're breaking up, Blaine. We…maybe a break is the best thing for us…"
Blaine's eyes widened. "Kurt…please…"
"Please what?" Kurt almost snapped. "You can't bear to even kiss me in private, Blaine. What kind of relationship are we going to have?" his face softened, and he leaned forward to kiss Blaine softly.
Blaine flinched away, on instinct, only realising he had afterwards. He let out a sad sigh. "I don't want to be mad at you."
Kurt frowned. "We don't have to break up on bad terms, Blaine. I don't want to break up on bad terms. I…I want to be your friend, Blaine…" he whispered. "Your best friend. The one that hangs out with you in the afternoons, and the one that you call when you're upset."
"Nothing needs to change." Kurt petted at Blaine's hair when he dropped his head onto Kurt's shoulder, his voice soft. "We'll meet up for coffee, talk, have movie days... just no boyfriend stuff. It'll make things easier for you." Kurt kept his voice calm, but his heart was breaking.
Blaine ...needed this, needed a break from them so he could get himself sorted out - go back to normal.
Once he was happy, maybe they could try again.
"This ... this won't be permanent, will it?" Blaine whispered into Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt took a deep breath.
"It depends. If ...if once you sort everything out, you still love me, I'll be waiting. But... Blaine? I don't care how long that takes. I just... I want you happy again, okay?"
Blaine pulled away, studying Kurt's face intently before kissing his cheek and hugging him. Kurt hugged him back tightly.
"Thank you." Blaine whispered into his hair, wiping at his face when he pulled back. "I... I should go."
Kurt nodded, waiting until Blaine had let himself out, and his car had started up before allowing himself to cry.
^.^
Time passed slowly after that. Far too slowly.
People started to find out about Blaine's transfer - inevitably after he suddenly disappeared without a word. They also found out about the break up, and Kurt would find himself crying at random points during the day. God, he missed Blaine being at McKinley. It was like a piece of him was gone.
But he was keeping tabs...
(3:01) To; Jeff Sterling - How is he?
(3:02) From; Jeff Sterling - Better today. More colour...I noticed the tiredness you were mentioning yesterday. It seems to be almost gone today. He's also talking more. He's back in the Warblers, but he's not taking any solos. He just wants to stand in the back and sway. It's...odd.
Kurt smiled slightly. He was getting better – that was the main thing.
(3:04) To; Jeff Sterling - It's a survival thing. From McKinley. He's trying not to draw attention to himself.
(3:05) From; Jeff Sterling - It isn't Blaine. The Blaine I know would have almost immediately become the soloist again - This Blaine's practically refusing to do it.
(3:07) To; Jeff Sterling - Now you know why I wanted you to keep an eye on him.
Kurt kept it up – keeping tabs on Blaine and making sure he was okay during the week. They met up on weekends for coffee at the Lima Bean, and each week Blaine looked better and happier.
Kurt couldn't ask him about their relationship. He couldn't put that pressure on Blaine before he was ready. He didn't even know if Blaine still wanted to be with him.
What if he found someone that wasn't so stressful? What if he needed someone less stressful?
What if-
"I'm really glad we did this." Blaine interrupted his thoughts. "Thank you…so much, for being so patient with me and…"
"Blaine, don't thank me. It's not…I just…I wanted you to be happy."
Blaine just nodded, smiling slightly as he sipped his coffee. After a few minutes of silence, Blaine reached forward and took Kurt's hand.
Kurt smiled.
Everything was going to be fine.