A/N: Hullo:)

How are you all today?

A special shoutout to everyone who's feeling a little down, or who has been having some bad days. I promise you that it will get better, you just have to give it a chance. I know that it seems like it'll never end, and I know that sometimes life seems impossible, but it will be okay. Even if no one else is there for you, I will be there for you. You can always talk to me. I will love you until you find someone worth everything you pour into your life. It might feel like you get nothing back out, but you will be okay. Just know that no matter what it feels like, you are not alone.

Love you all.

Please review! It would mean the world to me.

Harry Potter and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to the lovely JK Rowling.

Music recommendation: Ashes Like Snow by Lily Kershaw

XOXORose

-DdLM-

We grabbed our bags and made our way to the Great Hall for breakfast as a group. We were running a little bit late, so the only people left in the Common Room were a couple of first years trying to catch up on homework that they had left until the last minute. They all looked up as we walked by, some of looking they wanted to be us, some of them looking like they just wanted us. It was a strange feeling. I was used to watching people look at Lily like that, or Tracey, or Marlene. Never me.

The halls were completely empty, and I let out a sigh of relief. Nobody above thirteen would be anywhere near us until we were in the Great Hall.

The Great Hall.

Everyone was in the Great Hall and we would be making a grand entrance.

"Will they even recognize us?" Jay turned to Tracey, uncertain.

"Of course they will! We've got Lily with us, which means James will know who we are, which leads to everyone else knowing since he can't keep his big, fat mouth shut."

Lily narrowed her eyes at the quip about James before giving in. She knew as well as we did it was true. That boy decided the first time he ever saw her that she was the one and refused to give up on the notion. She decide there was no way it was ever going to happen. Severus Snape was caught in the middle. He and Lily had been friends since they were kids, so when Lily wanted nothing to do with James and everything to do with Severus, well… his Hogwarts experience when it comes to the Marauders has been much worse than mine. Last year he said some things that I know he regrets. Lily refuses to listen to any of his apologies. He's been spiraling out of control ever since no matter how hard I try to help him. Those other Slytherin boys have been a bad influence and I really don't like where he's going. You-Know-Who's been recruiting. Lucius Malfoy and his cronies Crabbe and Goyle have already gone over, and Severus used to copy his every move. Lucius was well-liked by those kinds of people and he was everything Severus wanted to be. I heard that Regulus Black was next. It's only a matter of time until poor Severus goes over too.

Speaking of, Severus was one of the first to turn towards us when we walked in. He looked like he might faint or kiss the very ground Lily walked on. Possibly both. The other Slytherins turned too when they saw his face. We're the epitome of Gryffindor pride, but they never seem to care. Their gob-smacked faces caught the attention of the Ravenclaws, then the Hufflepuffs, and finally the Gryffindors. The Marauders were the last to turn. James nearly fainted at the sight of Lily and Peter flushed a heavy shade of pinkish-red. We all turned and laughed at Lily, and James flushed a brighter shade than Peter.

Looks like Phase One is go.

We walked over to the Marauders, seating ourselves around them. Jay was next to Peter, Marlene sat next to Remus, and Tracey acted as a buffer between Lily and James. I drew the short straw and got stuck next to Sirius. I had veritaserum over my lipstick. All I had to do was to get it into his drink or on his fork. When he went to take another sip from his goblet, I stole it right from between his fingertips and pretended to drink. I could feel the veritaserum coming off of my lips and I almost started smiling. Sirius choked on his bacon.

"Here. Have something to drink." I handed him the cup. He coughed even harder but drank some of his pumpkin juice anyway. All I had to do was make sure it worked. A simple question with an undeniable answer.

"Sirius, what is your honest opinion on your current girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? I don't have a - oh, is that what she thinks she is? Well, I only said anything to get her into bed, but now that I have, I'm a bit disappointed. She boasted about the things she's done and now I find out just how little of that was truth. I might keep her around for a little while, but she's honestly not worth it."

Sirius' latest lay glared at him and poured porridge over his head, turning his beloved hair into a sticky, tangled mess.

"Elena! Oh my hair! Wait, Elena! Now I'll never get a replacement. Why would you let me say that?"

While the boys were all distracted, Marlene and Jay slipped a couple drops of veritaserum into Remus and Peter's goblets as well.

"Peter, what are you thinking about? You look thoughtful."

What he said next gave us all pause. Such a small, quiet, simple boy, but such dark thoughts. Suddenly we all realized that he was, in fact, as mature as the rest of us. By the look on his face, it wasn't something he ever wanted us to know.

Remus' face went paler as he realized what was going on and he quickly pulled James' goblet away from him. James never even noticed, he was so busy staring at Lily, who was busy leaning as far away from him as possible.

"That reminds me. James, if you would kindly stop ogling Lily for merely a second. Quidditch tonight? I got a tip we're facing Slytherin, and then don't have any new players while we lost half our team. The newbies still need some training."

"Hm? Um, no. I mean yes. Yes, there's practice. What about Lily? Is she coming to watch? Never mind, of course she's not. She does her homework while we have practice."

"That… was even creepier than you usually are. I've got to go. Slughorn keeps inviting me to the next Slug Club meeting and I need it to not get back to my parents. They would be so proud. I'll see you all later."

James, that idiot. Didn't deserve to be Captain of the Quidditch team. Can't even train the new players in time. I don't even care if I was Captain, but it shouldn't have been him. As I walked out of the Great Hall I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and I couldn't tell if it was good or bad. I hoped it was good. As soon as I made it out of there I dropped the façade and slumped against the wall. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I've always just floated along with everyone else, never drawing any attention, and if I did it wasn't like this. I was just Lily Evans' friend. I knew Marlene and Tracey and Jay. I was never anywhere near the center of attention. I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Tracey came out and sat next to me, our legs sticking out into the corridor.

"You okay? You did great. Sirius looked like he wanted to melt into a puddle he was so embarrassed after you slipped him that veritaserum, and he had absolutely no idea, which made it even better. Plus, he can't possibly stay mad at you. There's no way."

"What do you mean? Why can't he stay mad at me? He always does."

"I think he likes you, Dia. Just last year if you had gone and sat next to him it would not have gone as well as it just did."

"There is no way. He's just acting weird because I look weird. If I still looked like I did last year he would still treat me like he did last year. Besides, after everything he and the rest of the Marauders pulled all these years, there's no way. Just… No way."

"James pulls stuff on Lily, and we all know how he feels about her." I frowned.

"True… But that doesn't mean anything!" She shook her head and pulled me up.

"You're incorrigible. Come on. We have to get to class. Potions with the Slytherins." I rolled my eyes at her. Jay has a massive crush on a Slytherin boy and Tracey is desperately trying to set them up.

"You mean we have to get to Jonathan and Jay." She giggled.

"Maybe, maybe not…" We both hurried down the hallway. Lily, Jay, and Marlene would walk down later after planting Phase Two in the boys' bags. We walked slowly knowing that we would be the first ones there. We had left the Great Hall before everyone else. The only route down to Potions was completely deserted, so of course Tracey told me all about her plans to get Jay and Jonathan together.

-DdLM-

"Did you guys see what they were wearing? Maybe I should get Lily to give me a makeover."

"Don't you go near my Lily, Wormtail."

"Ah, bugger off, Prongs. We all know she's yours, I was just wondering if she could make me more attractive."

"Y'know, Padfoot and I have offered to help you lose weight."

"You are not transfiguring our friend to be thinner! I cannot even begin to tell you how dangerous that is."

"You're no fun, Moony. Besides, you weren't complaining last year, when we - "

The voices abruptly stopped as the Marauders realized they weren't actually alone.

"How did you get here before us? You were all still sitting at the table when we left and we would have seen you."

They all looked about as uncomfortable as could be. Remus was picking at the hem of his shirt, James was cleaning his glasses way past sparklingly clear, Peter went white, and Sirius couldn't stop tugging at his hair. They were up to something, and I'll bet it was something we could use against them.

"Peter."

He let out a squeak.

"Peter, how did you get here so quickly? You couldn't have possibly gone around us, there's only one way down. And we would have heard you if you had been behind us before." I towered over him at 1.70 meters, but somehow Sirius, James, and Remus were all taller than me. Remus is a giant at 1.87, James at 1.80, and Sirius at 1.75. It's infuriating. However, it was useful to be taller than Peter. He immediately shrunk down even further, trying to shy away from my question. When it comes down to it, I'm not small. My mother compliments me on my rather large chest, but likes to remind me how I could cut back a little bit to shave off some of my arse. Afterall, curves and dress robes don't go well. At least, not the dress robes my mother wants me to wear.

The only reason my figure bothers me is because it is not at all aerodynamic, but it's a small price to pay compared to what becoming aerodynamic would take. In cases like these, a very small price indeed. Especially since it's mostly muscle from being a Beater.

"Kn- know wha- what, exactly?"

"Peter, don't play games with me." I knew he had a serious thing going for Mary McDonald but he had always been a sucker for the girls that Sirius and James constantly had on their arms and I looked exactly like one. Well… sort of exactly like one. Short skirt, tight shirt. Close enough.

"Games? No games. Just… Um…"

"Peter." My tone was warning now. "I'd like to know. Are you going to tell me?" He squeaked and I think it was a no. "Fine. Do you know who will?" He squeaked again and this time I couldn't make out what he said. Tracey came up behind me. We had about five minutes until other people started to come and wait for Professor Slughorn to start class.

"Try Sirius." She had barely whispered it. I couldn't tell if she was more afraid that the boys would hear or that I would.

"What!? No! No way! Merlin's beard, Trace."

"Think about what I said before, Dia. About how –"

"That's exactly what I'm thinking of. You remember what I said?" Three minutes.

"Just try it. We only have so much longer until other people come and if you want to find out, then…."

"No! I am not compromising my morals just to figure out how they got here. There's no way they apparated or anything, I'll bet there's just some secret passageway that we haven't found yet." We tried hard to be quiet, but the boys still heard the last part.

"You know about the secret passageways?"

"Of course I do, I fell into one on my first day. Went exploring that night found all of them. Except, apparently, this one."

"How did you just fall into one? They're hidden."

"I guess I'm smarter than you lot without even trying."

He glared at me, trying to come up with a witty remark, as his little fanclub walked up. Well, I say little. Each girl was dressed various ways of slutty and had a snide remark ready for fire.

"I can't believe you."

"You are so obvious."

"Transparent."

"Slut."

"Coming onto him like that."

"He'd never go for a girl like you."

"Whore."

"You're too ugly for him."

"You utter bint."

"You're so fat. Why on Merlin's hat would he spend time with you?"

I'd never let stuff like that get to me before, but it started to. I had felt so good about myself all day and then they brought me down, bit by bit, by these girls that didn't know me and were judging me solely based on my appearance… Well, it was not my finest hour. Especially since they thought I would stoop so low as to be pursuing Sirius.

-DdLM-

"Dia, why aren't you eating?"

"Not hungry."

"You didn't have much at breakfast."

"I'm just… not." I stood up and left the Great Hall. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and ended up in the bathroom. I splashed water on my face. I felt sick, but didn't have anything to throw up.

I don't know how long I was there before Lily came to find me and take me to DADA.

"Dia, what's wrong? You've been hiding in here for half an hour!" She was worried. It showed in her eyes and the slight tremor in her voice. It wasn't right.

Lily is supposed to be annoyed or laughing. Not worried.

My fault. All my fault. It's always my fault.

"Nothing. Just tired. And pissed, I guess. Sirius' fangirls are really getting on my nerves. Apparently I'm not good enough for him. They've thought I'm in love with him since I first started yelling at him. I don't understand the way they think." Her eyes got wide.

"Whatever they have brought you to, don't do it. It's not worth it, they aren't worth it. You're beautiful, Dia. Don't listen to them."

Out of all the girls, Lily and I were the closest. I could read her every move, even we she couldn't. Unfortunately, she could do the same to me.

"That's not what I meant." I grinned at her. "I'm just really tired of their crap."

She giggled.

"It's time to go to class. We have Care of Magical Creatures." I linked my arm through hers and we walked down to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. I couldn't believe that I had convinced her.

I was in a daze for the rest of the day and was so tired by the end that I ignored the girls' questions and just went to bed.

Well… I tried. It took me an entire ten minutes to find the make-up remover and the little cotton pads to put it on. I finally got it all off, tied my hair back, tugged off all the clothes I could, and fell into bed, not even bothering to pull the curtains closed. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The next morning I woke up at five, took a shower, put on a thin layer of eyeliner, making my eyes even more translucent than usual, and put on some under-eye concealer.

Friday. Oh how I love thee, Friday.

To celebrate Friday, I went with the simplest version of the uniform that I could. I didn't even bother with the button-down shirt, I just pulled on the sweater and the skirt and a pair of comfortable trainers, then pulled my hair back into a loose braid. It was only six-thirty, but I made my way to the Great Hall anyway.

I didn't eat breakfast. Or lunch. I only ate what I needed to at dinner so that my friends wouldn't worry. The only thing I don't have with any of the girls is Ancient Runes so I started acting like I had to study during lunch for it because I couldn't keep up. I kept going for a week. The only time I ate a decent meal was over the weekend and I always threw it up afterwards.

And they never noticed. They never even found out that Ancient Runes is my best subject and I quickly became the best in class by far after studying it all the time. I study other things too, of course, but mostly Ancient Runes.

No one ever noticed.

Why would they notice?