A/N: I'm done! I'm done! I am soooooo done with this chapter! I love yaoi. I do. I just don't like writing it. I feel like I lack so much in the department of smut so it's such a pain in the butt to write. I'm trying to think of careful words to place where, but all of the blood is just rushing out of my nose and I can't freaking think straight. e-e So I am soooooo happy to be done with this chapter. Can we get back to regular updates? PLEEEEEEAAAAASE?
Anyway, as to why this took so long (12,673 words later~), I had a massive test at the end of last month. I'm happy to say that I passed though, and I am now a licensed cosmetologist. ^^ Last step is just waiting for the paper to arrive in the mail! I explained this all on meh tumblr, but I just wanted to say it here in case you don't follow me or you didn't read the new chapter of Lost Cause. XD With that being said, please enjoy this chapter!
Please enjoy it. I've been working on it for a solid week now. (Is it wrong I was listening to a song called "Ring My Bell" why I was writing this whole thing? *cough cough*)
-Misty
The Change You Wish to See
(Original summary, but screw the stupid character limits) Levi's never put much care into things. He doesn't put much care into things at all. Nothing ever peaks his interest. Well, that's until he meets Eren Jaeger. Levi isn't sure what it is that's so interesting about him, and it irritates him to feel these feelings he's never felt before. Regardless, he goes to talk to the boy. When he doesn't receive an answer, he just thinks that the boy is rude; however, he understands why when Eren doesn't answer him. Eren is deaf.
Rated M for sexual content, adult language, some violence, mild character death
Main pairing: Riren with some side pairs
Anime: Shingeki No Kyojin (Attack on Titan)
Chapter Nineteen: Touch Me
"... You what...?" Levi asked incredulously. Eren looked at his hand for a moment before looking away, eyes staring with abandonment at the older man.
"I want to-"
"I understood you, Eren!" Levi quickly interrupted. "I just don't know... I mean I can't... Never mind."
"Wait," Eren stopped him when Levi tried to scurry away. "Please... Don't go."
"It's not like I can get far in this weather or with this leg..." Levi uttered, hoping Eren had the decency not to read his lips.
"Do you... Not want to do it with me?" The brunette asked hesitantly, his heart pounding in his chest and his breathing forced. Was he afraid for a negative answer or relieved? He couldn't tell anymore.
"No... No, that's not it." Levi signed with a slight startle. Did he really want to do it that much with Eren?
Honestly, the idea hadn't popped into his mind enough to take it seriously, and when he and Eren talked about it earlier, it made more sense. Yes, they were in a relationship. Relationships meant doing things most couples did. They kissed, held hands, and did far more than that.
So wasn't that what they were supposed to do? At least once if ever?
"You do...?" Eren asked hopefully, feeling the blood rushing in his body. Was he excited or scared? Was he anxious or elated? He just couldn't figure it out anymore.
"... I guess? I don't know, Eren. I've never really thought about it." He told him. "It makes sense, but..."
"But...?" Eren questioned out loud. "It's not because it's me, right?"
"Of course not!" Levi chastised. "If anyone I'd rather it'd be you!"
He probably shouldn't have been offended by the idea of what Eren spoke of, but he wasn't the type of person to sleep around. He wasn't the type of person to handle relationships all that well (He figured it a miracle that Eren had been with him this long), so all of this was new. People made it sound like a crime to wait, but it wasn't like he had interest in sex or being with anyone else.
Well, until this brat came along that is.
"Look, Eren... This isn't easy for me to explain. It's not like I've done any of this shit before."
"And I have?" Eren asked incredulously. "I'm still a virgin!"
"You don't act like it when you're this blunt!"
Why was this becoming an argument? There was nothing here to argue about. They either did it or didn't, so why was it turning into a serious thing?
"I'm not trying to be blunt! I figured I love you enough to embarrass myself that much in front of you!"
"... What did you say?" Levi asked, realization suddenly kicking in.
"What...?"
"What you said just now? You said you love me...?"
"No I..." Eren began, but stopped. Yeah, he had said that, hadn't he? He'd said it within the heat of the moment, and realizing that it had come out of him made his cheeks flare red. "I-I didn't mean to... At first I... I-I wasn't thinking...!"
"Shut up, Eren..." Levi scoffed before grabbing the nape of Eren's neck and pulling him forward. Eren fell against him, the air knocking out of him and feeling the same thing happen to the older man when his head fell against his chest. Eren looked up, slightly startled, but Levi had already hidden his face within Eren's brown hair and had his arms wrapped around him in a firm embrace.
"Levy...?" Eren asked, feeling the man's heart beat under his ear. Fingers tightened around him, and on a whim, Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's waist and held tight. He tried looking up again, but in this position, it was no use. "Levy... Kiss me..." He whispered, or at least figured it was that quiet.
At first there was no response. Levi didn't move for a kiss or even to push him away. His face stayed hidden and his arms stayed secure around his body. For a moment Eren wondered if he didn't say something right or if he wasn't loud enough. He couldn't judge the tone in his voice, but he figured this close Levi would have still heard him.
"Levy...?" Eren shifted within his grasp, and finally Levi lifted his head to look at him. Eren wasn't sure what it was he was expecting to see, whether it was some form of emotion or inner turmoil, but Levi looked like he normally looked: Cold, bitter, and a little pissed off. However, the look in his eyes was different than it normally was with those expressions, and before Eren had the chance to figure out what it meant, Levi leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn't on the lips like he had hoped for. Instead it was on his forehead, but it was something at least.
"I'm an idiot," Levi's fingers signed, his lips forming the words against the brunette's skin. Eren lifted his head, lips brushing against his in the process.
"Me too..." He openly agreed. Levi smiled a coy smile and leaned back into the couch, bringing Eren with him to lay flush against his chest. He hoped Eren couldn't feel the fluttering within his chest, but knowing him, he probably already did. He probably noticed it when the first fluctuations began.
"Is this something you really want to do, Eren?" The older man asked him while his eyes looked everywhere but at the golden stare so intent on him.
"Mhm..." Eren hummed.
"Why...? And why with me?"
"Because it's you. Because I trust you..." He answered without giving it much thought, but doing that meant that he had thought of his plenty of times before.
"Oh really...?" Levi couldn't help but question. Eren shifted within his arms to sit up, pushing himself onto his hands and knees.
"Levy..." He said with a mixture of a pout and a whine. The little scowl forming on his face shouldn't have been as cute as it was right now. Usually Levi found it rather annoying, but maybe it was the pain in his leg and the newly acquired drug that was making this situation seem like less of a situation. He couldn't seem to fully take this into consideration like Eren was and take it like it was really happening.
"Even if we did decide to do it, Eren, I don't have the things we would need for it." Levi tried to explain to him.
"Like what...?"
"Like..." When did he ever have the time to learn the sign for a fucking condom? Now it was Levi's turn to scowl. "The things we would need!"
Eren seemed to figure out what he was meaning to say all on his own. His lips parted on a silent sound of understanding before he squirmed out of Levi's grasp and off of the couch. To his backpack he went, and Levi wasn't sure what to think when he produced said 'item' they needed to make this happen.
When Eren had once said that he had most of his life in that backpack, he wasn't kidding.
"You meant this, right?" Eren asked him and held it out for the older man to take. Levi was tossed between taking it and storming out of the room.
He was being serious about this, wasn't he? Of course he was. The condom was the proof he needed to show it.
"Where did you even get that?" Levi groaned and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, trying to process what it was he was seeing.
"Well... When Armin found out that we were still dating-"
"Fucking hell..." Levi bent over so that his elbows were on his knees and so his face could hide in his palms. He couldn't even figure that one out without cringing.
Armin truly was a dangerous person. Funny enough he reminded Levi of Erwin, who always seemed to know everything at every time and date. There was no getting past him, and it seemed like Armin was the same way.
"What...?" Eren asked. "Not this...?"
"Eren..." Levi sighed, but his mind wandered. He looked up into golden eyes, so wide to compensate for the darkness continuously creeping around them. The brunette reached a hand out and touched his knees again, hoping to prompt a proper response from him, but he didn't get one.
Instead, Levi pushed himself up onto his aching legs and picked up Eren's hand, pulling him up with him. Eren let himself be pulled out of the room and to the office which, thanks to the storage heater, was toasty and warm. It was darker though, and with the only light being the lamp on the desk, Eren worried what would happen if the older man turned it off.
He was already missing once sense. He didn't know what would happen if he lost the other too.
"Could you help me with this?" Levi asked him as he began removing the cushions from the couch. Eren nodded his head quietly, mentally questioning Levi's actions before tugging the stray cushions aside. Levi grabbed at the futon stuffed away and pulled, but a sudden jolt of pain within his leg reminded him that he couldn't do much.
Eren was beside him quickly enough, picking up the slack and pulling the bed out. The last of it came easily, revealing the thin sheet that was supposed to be a blanket, crushed pillows, and lumpy mattress. He supposed it was better than nothing, but he could see Levi quietly cursing under his breath as he sat down on the edge.
The older man looked up at him from within the dim lighting, making Eren's breath catch in his throat. The man had a dark gaze on him, a gaze not very common and something Eren hadn't personally seen before. It was deep, like he was staring right through him, and was he? Levi tended to know what he was thinking even before Eren knew of it.
"Eren..." Levi said softly and reached for Eren's hand. The brunette took it gladly, feeling the tug on it until it pulled him close enough for his knees to rest beside Levi's thighs.
"Hm...?" Eren hummed.
"Are you really sure about this...?" Levi asked him, his free hand signing away while the other one ran up his arm.
"If it's you, then yes..." Eren knelt down until he could touch his forehead into Levi's. It was embarrassing to be this close, to stare into his eyes like that, but he felt compelled to do it. Just like he felt compelled to lean forward, close the distance, and kiss him.
This kiss was far different than the previous ones they had shared. It was tender, but the uncertainty and hesitancy was right behind it from both parties. There was a heat between them that wasn't from the mini heater, burning from within them and making Eren's cheeks flush. He wasn't sure if it was the poor lighting in the room or not, but maybe that was a light blush on Levi's cheeks too? Even just a little?
"I don't know how much I can do, Eren. At least not with my leg like this right now..." Levi admitted regretfully against his lips, but his fingers had signed the words unconsciously.
"It's okay. I think... I think I can do it..." Eren tried to reassure him, but the way he looked when he signed them spoke something else.
"How...?"
"Just... Let me handle it." Eren leaned forward again and kissed him, quickly cutting off any questions that sat on the older man's tongue. His arms wrapped around his shoulders, fingers curling in the longer pieces of his hair for a better grip. His fingers tangled within the soft locks, rolling a few strands of hair between his appendages and then letting it go.
He figured this way he could distract himself at least.
While he did that, Levi's hands settled on his waist. He could feel the heat of his skin through his shirt (Eren hadn't bothered to put his sweater back on), tempting him in all of the right ways.
He had permission, didn't he? Eren and him were about to do it, to have sex, so that meant touching was okay now. At least some of it had to be okay.
Cautiously, while Eren preoccupied himself with kissing the day lights out of him, Levi's hands trailed down further. His fingers snuck to the hem of his shirt and slipped under it, at first finding the warm skin underneath, and then hearing a small sound leave Eren's throat. It wasn't one of discomfort or pain, but the way he suddenly curled back like he had done something wrong said something different.
"What's wrong...?" Levi asked him, slightly tittering from the long kiss.
"It's... Embarrassing..." Eren said softly while his forehead fell against Levi's shoulder. Levi urged him to look up so they could continue their conversation without interruption.
"Want to stop?" He questioned.
"No...!" Eren blurted out, and Levi silently wondered if Eren's cheeks could get any redder. "I mean... No... Don't stop... It's embarrassing, but in a good way... I think..."
Levi chuckled and pressed his lips into the tan column of his neck. He felt a pulse beneath his lips, a pulse beating rapidly and thumping in time with his own heart. It was a strange sensation, but it was appreciated to the fullest. Levi proved it by sucking lightly at that spot, making sure not to leave a mark.
God forbid if Mikasa saw it.
"Hm... Levy..." Eren breathed and tilted his head back. That breathy mewl seemed to kick instincts into gear for the older man, forcing his body into overdrive and pushing boundaries they hadn't yet crossed.
His hands began moving under his shirt again, first at his stomach, and then slowly up higher to make goose bumps rise on warm flesh. The hands in his hair pulled lightly as Levi scratched his nails lightly against the skin on his chest, just until he felt pert buds of skin harder than usual.
Eren recoiled again, but Levi was quickly understanding that he wasn't running away. He just wasn't used to this type of touch, and that was perfectly fine.
Neither was he.
"Lay down..." Levi whispered, the lack of blood in his brain momentarily making him forget that Eren wouldn't be able to hear that. However, Levi's body was guiding him already by the time it clicked and made sense in his head. He was already pulling Eren further onto the bed, helping him to the middle of it before urging him down on his back. The pressure on his leg increased to great altitudes when he put his weight on it, but Levi figured that, if he kept his weight on his good knee, he'd be okay for the time being.
"Levy..." Eren sighed again, his head tilting to the side as he nibbled on the back of his index finger. Levi released a heavy breath he hadn't realized he had been holding before moving to undo the buttons of the brunette's shirt one by one. Each one came apart with a quiet pop, but it sounded absurdly loud in the quiet room, minus the sounds of the mini heater and their panting. Once the shirt was undone, Levi simply pushed the hems to the side.
Levi had only once seen Eren without a shirt on, but that was from an older picture of him at the public pool with Mikasa and Armin (When they found the time to visit, he'd never know). However, the way the brunette's body looked right now was nothing compared to a silly picture.
They say a picture can speak a thousand words. Well obviously a thousand words wasn't enough.
For a kid who rarely left home, he was very well toned. He had abs that would challenge Levi's, but the older man would ultimately win in the end. His skin was soft, unmarred, and clean. Society hadn't worn him down yet, and the man was silently very grateful for that. No one should touch a boy as beautiful as this. No one should touch his brat.
The way Eren's skin glowed in the dim light was truly something. His tan skin, the skin people went to salons to give themselves skin cancer for, wasn't covered in sweat, so it didn't shine in a disgusting way, but instead, it had a strange glow that Levi momentarily thought was his eyesight going bad. That wasn't possible, was it?
"Fuck..." Levi quietly cursed to himself. There was so much he wanted to say right now, and yet nothing was coming out. There was so much he wanted to say, and yet nothing seemed right to describe what was going on with him at the moment.
He couldn't care so much for it though, not when there was a partially naked brunette in front of him whose eyes were pleading for friction, for a touch, for anything to keep the burning arousal going.
Eren sat up on his elbows for a moment, but the moment was long enough to let the sleeves of his shirt slide down his arms. Levi helped him out of it, making sure to be slow and precise. He didn't want to scare Eren away.
It came off easily enough, albeit getting tangled around Eren's wrist at one point. This left his upper half exposed to the older man, but the exposure of his body didn't mean anything compared to what he was thinking.
This was so much more than just a naked body.
"Levy..." Eren said and lifted his arms. Levi moved into his range and let those arms wrap around his shoulders, to pull him down, and to press himself close.
The man wasn't sure what to expect from this, but feeling a hardness within the teen's pants pressing into his thigh suddenly had his stomach doing flips. His head went reeling at the idea that this was really happening, and why was it only taking important precedent in his mind now? They were getting pretty into this. Now was not the best of times for his brain to kick in here.
Levi shook away the prolonging thoughts and kissed Eren. He kissed him like they wouldn't be able to share a kiss again, pushing his lips into his, moving them, feeling the enthusiastic participation edging within the other's gentle touch. He didn't even know when he began tasting Eren as their tongues glided together, and he definitely wasn't sure who started it. Eren seemed like the type who would when he was eager, but right now Levi didn't feel like he had much control over his body.
There was a hum, maybe even a moan of approval before hands started grabbing at the back of Levi's sweater. Levi tried his best to kiss him for as long as he could, but when it was bunched up under his armpits he knew there was just no point. He parted quick enough to rid himself of that and then the shirt, feeling a sudden cold chill crawling up his back. When he tossed the articles of clothing away and looked back down, he saw Eren's eyes on him.
His big eyes were dilated heavily as he gazed upon Levi's body for the first time. Yeah, he'd seen his legs, and yes, his belt was still undone and his pants zipper was still down, but this? Oh this was something very different.
Levi was so muscular, so toned; he looked like he could bench press a truck. His shirts must have been too baggy on him, because Eren never would have guessed that Levi had an eight pack of all things beneath his clothing, followed with heavily muscular arms (He made a mental reminder not to ever get into a fist fight with the man). He had some scarring, the most prominent being a scar over his left pectoral. Others were tiny scratches that had never healed right.
Besides that, he looked so beautiful that Eren thought he was looking at some statue made from the Greeks or Romans.
"Wow..." He wasn't even aware that he breathed out a sigh of arousal as he reached up to touch his chiseled abs. Levi wondered if Eren was at all dizzy; the blood in his head must have been drowning him out by now.
"It's not much," Levi uttered. Eren looked up when he saw his stomach move, but he didn't catch what it was that had been said. He didn't even catch the last of the words from his lips, and Levi didn't bother signing for him.
Looking at this now, this was quite the sight to behold. Eren Jaeger, his boyfriend (That didn't sound like the proper word for them) of half a year, half naked and flushed in front of him. His legs were spread wide and open on either side of him, calves pressing into his thighs, even into that one bad spot, but fuck it. If it meant Eren stayed like this, then Levi would risk a damn broken hip.
"You aren't half bad looking either." The older man signed to him. Eren smiled awkwardly before reaching up for another embrace. He wasn't disappointed.
Bodies pressed close, skin against skin, arms wrapped around one another, heads reeling, and muscles aching for something, anything really. This was escalating fast with no signs of descending, but who wanted to get down from this? Neither of them that was for sure.
Levi's hands wandered. At first they sat high on his chest, rubbing and kneading the pert buds on his chest between his thumb and index finger. Then it was lower to the edge of his pants that hung loose on his hips, enough to show his protruding hip bones. The further his hands went down, the further his mouth moved. From lips to neck, and then neck to chest, the older man realized that he had no control over this. His body had taken over all rational thought.
This wasn't stopping until the end.
He soon found his mouth at the hem of his pants, along with his fingers that skimmed the waist band with interest. Placing a kiss to his right hip, Levi looked up for something, approval or a sign to say stop. Eren's golden eyes, wide and practically black by the darkened room, spoke many things. His expression told many more, but nothing screamed at him to halt all of his actions and back pedal. He waited, just to be sure, but that only seemed to fuel the blush burning Eren's cheeks.
His legs shifted, forcing his hips to move. More than likely it was his silent (and he hoped sly) way of saying to get things moving again, but Levi didn't need to be told twice. He just wanted to be sure.
The older man sat up on his heels and pulled lightly, the sudden tug revealing the triangular shaping of muscle between his hips. His heart skipped a beat, and then the next one thudded against his ribs so hard that it hurt.
Just another hard tug and Eren would be naked. Completely and totally exposed. One more tug and he'd see things he wouldn't be able to un-see.
What was this hesitation though? Eren looked like he was about to explode with embarrassment, and yet he was letting Levi do all of this to him. He trusted him that much, and if that was the case, the least he could do was stop being such a baby.
What was the worst that could happen?
Levi stored the last of his internal questions away in a mental box marked 'for later' before pulling in one smooth glide. He didn't look at first, not there anyway. He looked at the way his pants and underwear slowly slid down his legs, as if he were opening a present. His skin was smooth despite the light dusting of hair over them, and just like his chest he didn't have anything to mar his perfect, tan skin. He couldn't help but place kisses to his kneecaps when they were revealed and continued until he could pull his pants all the way off.
Eren kept his legs together. This was where his resolution was starting to falter, even if he wanted this. It was embarrassing after all. When was the last time someone had seen him exposed and naked like the day he was born? Sadly enough, probably Mikasa walking in on him while he was in the bathtub. That was something entirely different though.
This was this. Soon enough, Levi would be doing a lot more than just looking at it. He'd be touching, he'd be-
Eren whined at the mental images. Even if porn was overacted, stuff like that still happened. Would Levi even be willing to put his mouth down there? It seemed absurd at the most, ridiculous at best.
"Are you okay?" Levi asked him quietly, his free hand moving up his outer thigh just for the feel of it.
"M-Mhm..." Eren hummed and nodded his head. He couldn't bring himself to part his legs just yet, sudden fears that were the dumbest of things to fear rising up within him.
What if, God forbid, Levi looked at him and laughed? What if he thought he was too tiny, or something even more ridiculous? Levi wasn't that type of person, but Levi hadn't seen him naked just yet. Things could change very fast depending on the situation.
"Levy... Y-You too..." Eren leaned up again on his elbow and reached for the hem of the man's pants. He tugged the already loose belt and zipper and pulled down, but in his position, it went nowhere.
"Okay, just relax." Levi said with a huff. He moved over to the edge of the bed to give himself something better to work with before lifting his hips and pulling his pants down. He questioned his underwear, but it was a quick question that was denied faster than it had popped up into his head.
If Eren was willing to be naked for him, to expose himself all at once, then he sure as hell would too.
His pants came off quick enough, though he made sure to pace himself. No use in being hasty. The light behind him suddenly turned off, plummeting the room into semi-darkness. The light from the hallway was just enough to illuminate the room from the cracked open door, but like this, there was less to judge based on his line of sight.
Levi looked back to the bed, but he found that Eren had climbed under the thin sheet that was supposed to be their blanket. Now probably wasn't the best time to be self-conscious, but Levi could allow him this much to stay comfortable.
"We can stop if you want..." Levi signed as he pulled the sheet back to climb under.
"No..." Eren mumbled. Levi scooted closer, feeling his bad leg brush against Eren's hip as Eren rolled onto his side. He was opening up, but the older man could still sense the hesitancy. "It's okay, just..."
"Hm...?" Levi questioned when Eren's fingers stopped, placing a ginger kiss to his forehead.
"Touch me..." Eren's fingers shook with his admission, a heavy breath leaving him in an exasperated sigh. Levi chuckled under his breath; those two motions didn't match well with each other, but this was Eren he was looking at.
"Alright..." He quietly agreed and pulled Eren against him.
Eren gasped before his lips were overtaken in a kiss. He barely had a chance to respond before he felt a hand on his chest, rubbing at the bones of his ribs and then down further. It felt like the air grew thinner between them as that hand roamed around his hip, Levi's other hand urging him to lie back down against the mattress. He felt like he couldn't go against him, even if he wanted to; his body was moving on its own accord.
When had his hands fallen to Levi's hips as well? Was his body just repeating Levi's steps in order to form a sense of security, or was it following that thing called "instinct" that only applied to moments like this? He honestly couldn't tell anymore, but it wasn't like he cared.
That warm hand was getting closer to him. Each time Levi rubbed at his hip, it moved further and further into territory no one else besides him had touched. It was definitely a strange sensation that he had nothing to compare to. His hands never felt like this on his body, like they were wanting and caring. They felt nothing like Levi's gentle touches.
After a few more rough kisses, each beginning to consist more and more or tongues and teeth than lips, Levi's hand finally brushed against his heated erection.
Oh, this was definitely not the same sensation as his own hand.
Just a simple brush of skin had Eren's head reeling, falling back into the lumpy mattress and breaking the kiss between them. It wasn't like anything he'd felt before, and was it supposed to be that sensitive? He remembered his first years of puberty and how badly everything felt against him, but this wasn't that at all.
Levi looked at him worriedly, but when Eren made no objections, his fingers trailed over the hot flesh lightly.
"Levy..." Eren breathed while his nails dug into the skin of his hip bones. He couldn't bring himself to touch the man just yet.
Levi sat back again, letting the blanket slide to his lower back as he held his erection fully within his hand. He stroked the hardness within his hand a couple of times, testing the waters, but Eren's reactions were breathtaking. The way his back arched lightly, the way his hands fell from his hips to grip the sheet below him, the beautiful moan that flutter from deep within his throat.
"Fuck..." Levi cursed under his breath once more. He didn't think he'd feel this light headed so early on, but he'd blame that on Eren later. Right now, he had to focus on this.
Levi hadn't touched anyone else like this before. Relationships just weren't his thing, but he didn't think it'd be like this. He swore that Eren was doing it intentionally; he had to be. Otherwise he was just that tempting.
With each stroke to his erection, his grip tightened. Levi's other hand ran up the inside of his thigh, bringing goose bumps to his warm skin before moving it up his chest. Eren arched within the touch as those finger danced across his skin, hiding his face away in his arm, but he didn't know why. Doing that wouldn't hide him; Levi had already seen this personal side of him, so there was no going back.
"Eren..." Levi whispered as leaned forward. He brushed his lips against the teen's cheek to catch his attention, and when he had it, he made sure to keep it. The kiss he shared with him was much softer than the others, probably because Eren couldn't keep up with it now. His whole body felt numb and weak at the same time.
How was he doing this to him?
"L-Levy…" Eren panted against his lips, hands grabbing at his shoulders and pulling him closer. Levi leaned forward, pushing his lower half into the teen beneath him that earned him a beautiful moan, but he had forgotten about his leg. The sudden pressure it put on it caused it to ache, a feeling that had Levi visibly cringing in pain. He thought he could handle it, but damn, hadn't the medicine kicked in yet?
Eren noticed his pained expression all too quickly. He let him go and sat back, his eyes showing the worry he felt, but all Levi felt was guilt. Eren shouldn't have been worrying about him at a time like now.
"I'm sorry…" Eren said, slightly out of breath.
"I'm fine…" He mumbled, fingers barely able to form what it was he needed to say.
"Levy…" Eren lifted his arms and pulled again. He knew Levi would be smarter about his leg this time, so worrying about it wasn't necessary. "Lay down…" He whispered.
"Why…?" Levi asked, but he knew it was pointless. He did as told, falling to rest his back on the mattress so that Eren could hover over him. It didn't take long for him to understand why Eren had him lie like this; that he wanted to keep Levi off of his bad leg, but this wasn't going to get them very far. "Eren…"
It didn't take long to realize why else Eren had him lie down.
Even in the dark and from under the blankets Levi could see Eren's hands moving. He could feel them on his chest sliding down, very ginger and shaking as he thought over if he really wanted to do this or not. That was a dumb idea though; of course he wanted to do it. He just had to grow the courage to do it, and fast.
Eren's hands fell softly against his inner thighs, slowly working up. His hand was careful of Levi's injury, but at least this way he could work himself up to what he was aiming for.
Levi wasn't stupid. He knew where this was going, where those hands were going. He couldn't say he wasn't anticipating it, because that would be a lie. He was, but he wasn't going to rush the poor kid.
"Eren-" He began, but within the darkness he felt those fingers creep along his hardened flesh. They jerked back suddenly, like he hadn't been expecting to make contact with it just yet, but after a few short moments, they returned.
Levi breathed in a deep breath, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Eren's golden eyes were so honest and truthful. He could see it even through the dark, and it was so hard to take it to heart and know that this meant more than what they thought when Eren's hand began to stroke him.
Levi leaned back into the pillow barely edged under his head, eyes half lidded and looking up at the ceiling. His focus fell onto the sensation he was feeling, the heat rising up in his stomach and the tingly feeling in his toes. He hadn't felt this sensation in such a long time; he had almost forgotten what it was like. Was it always like this? This heat? This warmth? Was it always so drastically different, or was it because he had nothing but the company of his hand in previous years?
"Shit…" Levi cursed and sat up. Eren's eyes lifted to look at him, questioning the sudden jerk. Levi waved him off, assuring him he was fine before pushing himself forward to grab at Eren's waist. If Eren was going to do that, the least he could do was preoccupy himself with something other than fantasies while everything he could ever want was right there in front of him.
"Levy…" Eren began, but Levi situated themselves so that Eren's lower end was by his face and so it was the same for Eren on his side. "L-Levy…!" He practically squeaked, but it was suddenly filled in by a moan as Levi's lip kissed the inside of his thigh.
Levi was really going to do it? He was going to put his mouth down there? Eren knew he was very new to sex; that wasn't a hard thing to guess or admit, but the idea of it still blew his mind.
Eren whined and lowered his head against the man's thigh, eyes cast off to the side to look anywhere but down. It was embarrassing enough to touch it, but to be so close was a whole different story. He waited for the inevitable feeling, whatever that would be, and soon enough, he felt something different that wasn't a hand touching him.
Eren whined again as lips skimmed over the prominent vein at the bottom before licking his way up to the head. It wasn't a pleasant taste if Levi were being honest, but that was a given for what he was doing. His lips closed over the head and sucked, and Levi felt a rush of warmth spread over him when he heard the beautiful moan leave Eren's throat.
Levi was silently thanking their luck that they got stuck at the shop. Had they been at his apartment, the neighbors would probably complain about Eren's voice being too loud.
"L-Levy…" Eren's hand grabbed at the base of Levi's erection to rub it as he continued to say his name like a prayer. Had he not felt it from Levi's chest, he wouldn't have realized that Levi had groaned at his own action. It was tempting, even when he couldn't hear his voice, but it was enough to have him pumping at his cock to provide friction.
Levi's lips sunk further onto him, taking him down as far as his mouth and throat could allow before pulling back up. He sucked slow and hard, taking the time to run his tongue over every sensitive spot he could find on him. It seemed like that was everywhere for the teen, even from his inner thighs to the skin on his back. It had goose bumps rising on his skin and his back arching, unintentionally pushing his lower half down. Levi would have reprimanded him for such an insane action; he didn't feel like dying today, but suddenly Eren was copying his movements.
His tongue stuck out feverishly, tracing a vein running from the base to the tip of the older man's cock. He wasn't sure what he was expecting from the taste, but it wasn't the most terrible thing in the world. Knowing he could handle it now, his hand pumped him at an easy pace while his lips covered the head, flushed red from lack of friction, and sucked.
Levi had never felt the need to groan so loud before. He didn't think Eren would do it. He didn't think Eren could do it, but damn was he grateful for it. It had his toes curling into the mattress below them and his hands spreading his cheeks apart. Grey eyes stared at the entrance in front of him, fixated on the idea of what was about to happen.
Would Eren be okay with it? With the idea of him putting it inside that tiny little space? Well, he already knew the answer to that. If Eren had a condom with him, then he had thought of the idea. If he had thought of it thoroughly enough (Levi hoped that was the case), then that meant he kept it because he wanted to do this. If he didn't want to do it, he would have thrown it away, right?
Levi finished sucking on him with one last hard suck, causing the teen to moan against him. It felt like heaven when those vibrations fluttered down his erection, and to reward him, Levi massaged the sack dangling from his organ with one hand while the other kept a firm grip on his butt.
Eren moaned again, another beautiful sound and sensation. If he kept doing that, Levi wasn't sure he could promise he'd make it to the end. He had to keep his composure though, long enough at least to get that far. He couldn't ruin it by coming too early.
Wouldn't that ruin the mood?
Keeping his attention distracted on his hand, Levi bent his neck at an uncomfortable angle to reach his destination. His tongue slipped past his lips to lick at the puckered opening, experimentally getting a taste. He was expecting the worst, and it wasn't anything good, but it wasn't as bad as he thought it was. He thought he'd be puking his guts up by now, but he was surprised that he wasn't.
"L-Levy…?" Eren yipped, lips pulling off of him and hand at a standstill as he tried to look over his shoulder at the man. Levi stayed quiet, ignoring his questioning tone to repeat his action, this time pushing against the entrance and hoping it'd give way. Eren's whole body was racked with shivers, his head once again falling to his inner thigh so he could pant harshly against his slightly sweaty skin. "S-Stop, it's… D-Dirty…" Eren whined.
"Not a damn thing about you is dirty, kid." Levi huffed against his skin before pushing back in. His entrance gave way, his tongue barely pushing in an inch before Eren whined loudly. His head shook against his leg, arm reaching back and hand grasping for something of Levi's. Levi took up the waiting hand, tangling his fingers to hold onto his despite the awkward angle his wrist was bent, but Eren had no complaints about the position. The only thing he couldn't seem to wrap his head around was the fact that Levi had his tongue inside of him.
"W-Wait," Eren panted and tried sitting up. Levi's grip on him was firm, but feeling the tug of his body allowed his release for him. Eren barely managed to sit up, however, before he was back to resting on his hands, body shaking.
"You okay…?" Levi whispered while sitting up to touch his back. Once again it wasn't clicking in his head that Eren wouldn't hear him.
Eren shifted, pushing his body from Levi's to turn around. His face was the loveliest shade of red he had ever seen on him before, and Eren had blushed plenty of times before this. Maybe it was the light in the hallway or the dim glow of his eyes, maybe even the tousled hair and swollen lips, but Levi's breath caught in his throat so fast that he couldn't think straight beyond wanting to kiss him and never let him go.
"L-Levy…" Eren whispered and moved forward. He wrapped his arms around Levi's shoulders and pulled him close, his knees lifting over his hips to sit on either side of his thighs. Like this he thankfully was not disturbing his injury, and yet it left little space between them. Like this Levi could look up into those golden eyes and see his own reflection shining off of his eyes like a mirror.
"You're beautiful…" Levi whispered without even realizing it, the words leaving his lips and leaving an odd sort of feeling within his chest, like something was fluttering against his heart. He had hoped Eren didn't noticed, but like everything else, Eren read his lips easily enough. Eren let out a small sound in his throat before moving forward, hesitantly kissing him. At first Levi couldn't understand why, but when Eren's tongue barely licked his lips, he remembered where his mouth had been previously.
However, the brunette continued to kiss him, their tongues once again dancing and hands roaming over their bodies. That must have been a good thing, if anything.
The kiss didn't last long. After all of the panting Eren had been doing, he was having a hard time keeping himself grounded. The older man even noticed himself that he was a little breathless. That was okay though. It meant that he could look at that face and that he could caress that cheek and let his thumb wander over soft lips that parted easily. Eren willingly took part in licking the pad of his thumb, just letting him enjoy it while he could. Levi carefully pulled it away before replacing it with his fingers, silently questioning him, and he wasn't let down.
Eren's lips took in just one finger at first. His own eyes were questioning, wondering himself about the actions before he took in another. He knew what to do. It was obvious after all, but that didn't make it any easier or any less embarrassing on his part. After the third finger, however, and seeing Levi's eyes glazed over in a sort of fog Eren hadn't seen before, he felt an odd sort of satisfaction bubbling inside his stomach.
Had anyone else seen Levi like this? Had anyone else been able to do this to him, or was it just him? If it had only been him, then Eren could say that he felt honored.
"You still okay with this…?" Levi asked with his free hand, though his lips barely mumbled the words. Eren seemed more focused on his lips than him, eyes drifting up to his eyes as he let go of his fingers.
"Mhm…" He hummed. Levi nodded his head as his hand, now covered with a sufficient amount of the brunette's saliva, traveled over his ribs and past his hips to the entrance he had been teasing not too long ago. Eren sucked in a heavy breath as his fingers began teasing, pushing, but not entering him. He dropped his head down against his shoulder, effectively arching his back in another perfect position as he waited for that feeling.
What would I feel like? He could only wonder, at least until it happened.
Levi's eyes watched carefully for any signs to tell him to stop, anything quiet and hidden away from Eren that would say this was wrong before pushing past the tight ring of muscle. Eren's body shook hard before freezing up, waiting for something, whatever it was. Whether it was pain, pleasure, some odd sensations, he couldn't tell. It was definitely odd, that was for sure. That was where things came out, not went in, wasn't it? And yet here was his boyfriend pushing his finger further in, his second knuckled already nudging the puckered entrance.
Levi waited, not budging and inch and looking at Eren closely. Should he wait longer? Should he pull it out and stop? This was very hard to do, more so than he could have ever imagined.
"You okay…?" Levi asked against his skin, hoping Eren would lift his head. Eren must have known what he said somehow. He must have read it against his skin or just known that it was something Levi would ask, because the slight nod of his head against his shoulder was a definite answer.
Levi took that as a good sign. It wasn't all falling apart just yet, and that was enough for him to keep going.
He pushed his finger in a little further, centimeter by centimeter as he continued to watch Eren for signs of pain. None came, not even when his third knuckle was brushing against his entrance and he could feel the walls closing around his finger. So he continued a slow, steady rhythm of pulling his finger out and pushing it back in. Every now and again he'd crook his finger in a different angle to assure that he was properly being stretched, and that would soon be followed by a low and tantalizing sound.
Eren's hips pushed back on him, body tightening and hands clenching at his shoulders when his finger pushed in farther than before. Whether this was his silent way of saying to continue or just a reaction Levi couldn't be sure, but he knew that this was moving along better than he expecting. To him, that meant he could try pushing a little more.
His middle finger, now slightly dried, nudged at his entrance first, lightly pushing and testing the waters before pushing in. Eren panted harshly for a moment, and it was then that Levi could feel his limits being tested. This was where Eren needed his time, or it was going to hurt regardless of what he did.
The older man lifted his head for a moment, eyes searching the dark room for the condom Eren had not too long ago. He couldn't see it though, but whether it was trapped in a pants pocket or lots in the sheets he wasn't sure.
"Damn it," Levi quietly cursed before his free hand began feeling around for the packaging he hoped to find.
"Levy…?" Eren panted while lifting his head. He had felt Levi sifting around through the sheets, but for what he wasn't sure.
"Do you know where the…" Levi stopped when he remembered that he didn't know the sign he'd half to use to properly ask his question. However, Eren seemed to get it just fine.
"My pocket…" Eren whispered and pointed to his pants thrown haphazardly against the frame of the couch. Levi thanked his lucky stars that he didn't have to pull out, only having to reach back and grab at Eren's pants. He had to fish around for the item for a moment, but it wasn't hard to feel the plastic within the fabric and pull it out.
Now all he hoped was that it was self-lubricated. That was a thing, right? It had to be. If not, this was going to be a lot more painful than it needed to be, and Levi didn't think that hand lotion would suffice.
"Let me…" Eren whispered once more before taking the package from him. Levi quietly thanked him before getting back to the task at hand, which was stretching him. Eren wasn't tensing around him anymore, which was a good sign, but they had a long way to go.
His fingers pulled apart, pushing the limits once more and feeling the tight restrictions of muscle contract around him. Eren faltered with the condom as Levi's fingers slowly eased in and out of him, slowly prepping him with gentle nudges and partings while Levi kissed at his shoulder. He managed to get the wrapper off just fine, though the inside of it was sticky and covered in something (He could only guess what). It made it harder to work with, harder to put on the older man, but at least he got it. He was glad now that he did bother trying to figure out how to put it on. He never understood why there was a certain way to do it, but this was the only condom he had and he'd rather not break it.
Levi felt the slip of the material on him and sighed, both out of bliss and relief. It was indeed self-lubricated, and he made a mental note to thank Armin when this was all over. He was a very smart kid after all.
The euphoria he felt only lasted for a short moment. After a particular curl of his fingers, Eren suddenly moaned rather loudly (Once again he was thankful that there weren't any neighbors). His body arched and his nails scraped into the skin of his back. His hips even rolled back onto his fingers, searching for whatever it was that he had just done and hoping for another touch.
"Levy…" He breathed heavily as he looked up at grey eyes dark and glazed over with a fog of lust. Was Eren even aware of what he was doing to Levi right now? Was he even aware of how much this position affected him so badly?
"Fuck, Eren…" Levi cursed and started thrusting his fingers with more force. Eren's lips parted to groan, the pain and tightness he had felt before suddenly not as intense. The pain was giving way to pleasure as those fingers rubbed at his inner walls in all of the right ways. He was beginning to see stars, but was that a good or a bad thing? As far as he was aware, it wasn't very good to see white spots in front of your vision.
"F-Feels good…" Eren panted, lips grazing against the skin over his pulse. He could feel it beating rapidly from under his lips, and just for a moment he thought he could get an idea of what it would sound like.
Levi swallowed, feeling a thick lump in his throat forming that was constricting his breathing. Take it slow. He had to remind himself of that. If not it would hurt, but Eren looked more fucked out in bliss than he did in pain. Was it okay to push it again, or should he just wait it out?
The first option seemed to take precedent in his mind. Levi brought his hand down to stroke himself for a moment, gathering some of the slippery substance between his fingers before letting go. He used that to coat his last finger in and rub it against his entrance, hoping this would help kill whatever pain he was about to feel, if any. Levi sat back, allowing his hand to hold himself up while his finger began pushing its way through. Eren held his breath once more, eyes staring back at him with a fondness he'd never seen before.
"L-Levy-!" He rasped and pressed his forehead into the older man's. Was this his way of saying stop? Was he trying to tell him something else? He wasn't sure.
"You okay?" Levi couldn't help but ask. He didn't want to hurt him.
"'M okay…" Eren mumbled, lips barely able to form the words. Levi kissed his lips quietly, hoping to provide a distraction while his fingers pushed farther in. He felt everything around him that had to deal with Eren tighten considerably. He made sure he was slow, just like before. With each finger he made sure to rub in all of the right places, and with each gentle thrust, he kept his eyes on Eren, making sure he was okay.
Just like before, he grazed something right, and like the first reaction, his second one was perfect. Whatever it was that he did, it had Eren's eyes rolling back and his body loosening. His muscles relaxed with every push into it and welcomed the intruding appendages with fever.
Soon enough, the brunette shook his head, trying to pull himself away from those fingers. At first Levi had thought he had done something wrong, that he had hurt him or this was too much for him, but Eren didn't respond to those internal worries. Instead he pulled Levi's hand up to his chest and held it there while pushing himself against Levi, rubbing his entrance over his cock just right. His head tilted back as he sighed, body willingly accepting what was about to happen, and honestly, he wasn't sure if he had any cares at this point.
"Eren…?" Levi called to him softly, his hands tightening around Eren's own. Eren look down between them to the erection pressed against him firmly. With the single mindedness of a man about to drown, he reached down between them and grabbed at it carefully, not sure how this would work. He'd seen porn before, so he knew how it worked, but theory didn't beat out actions.
Under his breath, he whispered Levi's name, or rather the nickname he had been given. He whispered it softly like it really was a prayer for him as he lined up the tip of his length to his entrance and pushed.
The hand that had been holding himself up now darted to hold onto Eren's waist, keeping him in place as he sunk down onto him. The heat that engulfed him was nothing like Eren's mouth, but he wasn't sure yet which one he preferred. The tightness was damn near blinding, leaving himself with a lack of breath and feeling like everything he knew in life was a damn lie.
His body trembled with anticipation the further Eren sunk down, but he had lost himself so within the pleasure that he had momentarily forgotten about Eren.
The brunette didn't look like he was about to die from the pain. That much was a given. He did look like he felt something though. What was it? It looked like he was lost between deciding if he was in pain or if he was losing himself to utter bliss. With his eyes scrunched up, his lips parted without making a sound, and that cute little scrunch in his nose, it was really hard to tell.
"E-Eren…!" Levi gripped at his hips with both hands now, his nails scratching little crescent shaped marks into his skin. Eren busied himself with hiding his face in Levi's shoulder, breath hot and heavy against his neck and his own nails scratching into his back. Levi figured he'd rather have it that way. After all, if Eren was in pain, there was no use in worrying over his own wellbeing. "D-Does it hurt?" He asked him, breathing against his ear.
There was no response, but why he was surprised about that he wasn't sure. He should have expected that.
Levi reached between them and grabbed at Eren's cock, which had gone slightly limp. Obviously this didn't feel all that great, but he hoped that this would make up for it somehow, or at least provide a distraction for him.
"Aha…" The sound Eren made beside his ear had goose bumps crawling up his skin. It sounded so weak, so powerless, so broken down, and yet Eren still made an attempt to keep things going by rolling his hips within the man's lap.
If that wasn't the most sexual thing Levi had ever seen being performed by anyone, he wasn't sure what was. The way his body looked right now, with his cock inside of him and his legs parted on either side of his body. With a light sheen of sweat going down his naked back and with his hair sticking to his face. With his eyes half lidded and cloudy, only looking at him.
This should have been illegal. It really should have.
Levi pulled Eren's face back to his and kissed him. It was heated with arousal burning around them, but it was so gentle at the same time. So needy and perfect in every way.
That's all this was. It was perfect. There was no better word to describe all of this right now, and if there was no such thing as perfection, it was as close to it as it could be.
Levi felt a burning sensation taking over his lower abdomen, a sensation that had him pushing his hips up with the next roll of Eren's hips. His leg didn't appreciate that at all, but fuck his leg. He had suffered through worse pain than this, and he'd go through it again if need be.
Eren gasped, but what soon followed was nothing more than a moan. Levi repeated the action at the same time Eren lifted himself up off of Levi's hips and brought them own down again, creating a spark and a wet slapping sound between their bodies. Besides that, Eren's heavenly moans filled the room quite nicely. Eren couldn't possibly know how loud he was getting without his hearing, and right now Levi wouldn't have had it any other way. He liked how Eren's voice seemed higher than he could usually reach, followed by a raspy breath that sounded like it would make his throat sore by morning. He liked it all, and he didn't need his neighbors getting involved with it.
They set a pace quickly after that. What started as rolls of Eren's hips and a few small thrusts became a brutal pace that consisted of him dropping his hips down onto Levi's when he thrusted up to meet him. The erection within Levi's grasp throbbed, precum leaking from the slit and dripping onto his hand. It made rubbing at his skin that much easier, as did it intensify the pleasure Eren was feeling.
They were getting closer. Each push into that sensitive bundle of nerves, each clench of Eren's muscles had both of them panting and moaning. At this point, whether there were neighbors or not, Levi didn't care if the whole world heard them.
"I-I love you..."
The words slipped, but without Eren's hearing, Levi knew he was safe. However, upon saying the words himself, it felt like reality had taken cold water and splashed him in the face with it. It felt like something was lifted off of his chest, lifted off of his shoulders. He felt lighter, happier, and like he could be fifty meters tall, which he knew was physically impossible. Mentally, he was soaring all the same. He was so far up, and he didn't want to come down.
He'd never felt like this before.
"I love you, I-I love you, E-Eren!" Levi bit into his bottom lip, the heat around him intensifying. The coil in his stomach was twisted and pulled too far, a spring ready to snap at any moment. "Shit!"
The admission caused the pleasure to double. At this rate, he wasn't going to last any longer than two minutes, and he couldn't lie and say he would be upset with that.
The admission of the silent feelings that had been eluding him hit him hard and fast. It was so obvious to him now, and yet he didn't understand why he didn't realize it before. Or maybe he was just trying to deny it, because he was just that stubborn.
Fuck the mental rules he had ever set up all of those years ago. Fuck being alone and hiding in a bookstore where nothing happened. If it meant making the biggest asshole out of himself in the world for Eren, then he'd do it.
He was in love.
"L-Levy- Ah! Levy!" Eren's nails scrapped across Levi's forearms, but at this point, Levi was so lost in pleasure that he hadn't taken notice to the pain. Levi wrapped his arms behind Eren's head, his hands clinging to his thin body for dear life. Eren followed his lead, his arms snaking around the older man's shoulders. In this position, with their sweaty bodies pressed together tightly and Levi's face buried into Eren's neck, there was no way Levi couldn't miss a syllable out of those perfect lips.
Eren's frantic panting, gasping, and moaning were becoming downright screams. Levi leaned back only far enough so he could kiss Eren, his hand cupping each cheek in a rough, needy, but loving hold. His thrusting became erratic, his hold on reality slipping. He didn't care about anything anymore; all he could care about, all he could think about, was Eren, of him on top of him, of his big, golden eyes on him, of those lips saying a morphed version of his name and making him come undone.
And with those thoughts about the beautiful boy, that coil snapped.
He had no choice to break the kiss, but only because of the sudden gasp leaving him. Releasing his hold on the boy's lips provided the screams he tried to muffle, but now he heard the undertone of a rasp as Eren's body arched in the most perfect of ways. He hid his face back into Eren's neck, his arms wrapping around his waist and holding onto him as he rode out that wave of orgasm. Eren's muscles tightened around him more than any other of the times they had, and the painful pressure and blissful heat made him blindsided to the boy's own orgasm.
Eren's body rolled into him a few more times, his cock rubbing against Levi's abs and smearing the warm bodily fluid around as he rode out his pleasure. It only took a few more shallow thrusts before the two stilled completely, bodies becoming lax and falling back onto the bed. The brunette landed on top of Levi with a heavy thud and a grunt from the both of them. His arms fell by his sides, fingers barely clasping at the blanket below them from exhaustion. Levi was much the same way, though his arms were draped over Eren's sweaty back. If it weren't for their position, his arms probably would have fallen beside his head.
The two of them laid there for what felt like ages. It took any last energy Levi had left to pull out and get the condom off. Within the dark, without the light and without anything to distract them, it felt even longer. Breathing went from harsh and heavy to light and quiet, almost as if they had fallen asleep, but that wasn't the case. One would think after a physical exertion like that, they'd be out cold by now, but that didn't seem to be happening. They were more wide awake now than when they started.
He didn't want to move though. Even with Eren laying on him, he was so comfortable like this. He was so comfortable with another person beside (Or in his case, on top) of him, with someone's breath against his neck, with someone's heartbeat directly over his. This was all so soothing. He'd been missing out before, but he was glad it was Eren he got to experience this with.
He loved him after all.
"Levy…" Eren said softly in the dense quiet, his voice raspy and scratchy. That was probably from all of the moaning he had been doing.
"Hm…?" Levi hummed, knowing Eren would feel the response. Eren lifted his head up some, looking up with his big, golden eyes and an adorable look on his face that was hard to resist. He even brushed back Eren's bangs so he could get them out of his face. Eren smiled softly, nuzzling into his hand with a newfound blush on his cheeks.
"What I said before… I didn't mean it…" Eren signed, barely having the strength to lift his hands.
"What did you say before?" Levi asked him, truly not remembering what he could have said or done.
"When I said I… That I…" Eren's blush darkened as he sat up, eyes downcast like he had, or was about to do something wrong. "Levy… I-I love you…"
Oh, so that's what he had meant.
Levi wanted to ignore it, but he simply couldn't. The strange fluttering over his heart was just butterflies, and he knew that. He had simply been putting it off and denying it as something else.
Why deny it though? Hadn't he already decided himself that it was stupid to put this off any longer?
"Oh yeah…?" Levi asked with a slight challenging inflection in his tone. He sat up, forcing Eren up until the two of them were sitting up straight, and Levi's leg ached. All of this was only going to make it worse, and no doubt he'd be paying a visit to the hospital tomorrow, but for now, he would just ignore it like he did before.
"Mhm…" Eren hummed and nodded his head, not sure what to make of the odd expression on the older man's face.
"I love you too," Levi said without any worries, his fingers and arms moving to show his meaning in hopes that his full affection could be showed through it.
Eren's eyes went wide, for a moment startled. It was the dark, right? That was why he read it wrong? No, that wasn't it. Levi wouldn't lie or joke about stuff like that.
So it was the truth.
"Really…?" Eren asked, the smile of his face suddenly splitting his cheeks.
"Read my lips," The man joked, but he leaned in for a kiss before Eren could respond with something as equally sarcastic.
The kiss was so sweet. So tender and pure. There was nothing that could compare to it, besides another one. However, that was the only kissed they shared.
When Levi pulled back to look at him, he was expecting another smile. He was expecting big eyes to be on him lovingly and imploringly like they always were, but they weren't.
Instead, those big eyes were red and crying, tears dripping down Eren's cheeks and landing between their bodies. He looked shocked. He looked upset. He looked everything but happy, and that wasn't what Levi wanted.
"What's wrong?" Levi asked him and touched his cheek. Eren sat back on his butt and rubbed away at his face, trying to rid himself of the embarrassing tears that didn't seem to want to stop, even when he tried willing them away. "Eren…?"
"I hate this…" Eren whispered, his voice shaking with his wavering breaths.
"Hate what? What's wrong, Eren?"
"I want to hear you say you love me, not read it!" Eren croaked, surprising the older man.
Throughout their whole relationship, he'd never once heard Eren speak so clearly. He'd said smaller things, smaller thing he knew he could say without totally messing up, but he had never spoken such a full sentence, let alone say it without any complications. The man didn't know Eren could do it, or at least he didn't know he would try, but it was surprising nonetheless.
"Oh…"
What was he supposed to say to that? There was nothing he could say to reassure Eren, nothing he could do to help him. He knew Eren was always uncomfortable when it came to his lack of hearing, but he never really liked bringing it up himself. This was the first time he had without really being prompted for it, and now he was expecting something. An answer? Something to make him more relaxed?
Levi didn't know what to do about it. This was where his realm of expertise stopped, because he had never been in a situation like this. He didn't know what to say that could make this right. He didn't know what to do that could help him besides sit there and hold his hand.
"I know…" Was all he could mumble.
"I've never heard your voice before, Levi… I can't even guess what it would sound like without it sounding odd in my head… And I just want to hear you say it at least once…"
"I know…"
"Levy…" Eren began, but he stopped short.
The light outside in the hallway suddenly flickered off, allowing any light within the room to disperse and leave them sitting in a dark abyss. Levi looked towards the clock, wherever that was in the room, but even the neon colored light that showed the time was gone.
"The power must have gone out…" Levi mumbled to himself. Was the storm really that bad outside that it could knock out the power? "Hopefully it comes back on soon. It's going to get cold really fast if not."
In the dark, Levi couldn't make heads or tails of what was what. He didn't know where anything could be unless he felt around for it, and right now, all he could feel was Eren's hands still within his own.
And they were shaking.
Levi lifted a hand and felt along the expanse of Eren's torso, feeling every bit of muscle shaking from under his hand. Within the dark, he could still hear the sniffles from him, higher pitched and more frequent than before. His nails were digging into the palm of Levi's hand while his free hand grasped at something, anything to hold onto.
"Are you okay?" Levi asked, but then remembered that there was no point in it.
That's when it made sense.
Eren was afraid of the dark, wasn't he?
There was no point in it, either speaking or signing, because now Eren wouldn't see or hear either of them. In the dark, Eren wouldn't be able to see his hands signing for him, and without his hearing, per the usual, he wouldn't be able to hear them. In the dark, Eren was left at a serious disadvantage. He couldn't see, couldn't hear, and with his two main senses gone, he wouldn't be able to function alone.
"L-Levy…" Eren's voice shook terribly with his body.
"It's okay," Levi said despite the situation and pulled Eren close. Eren squirmed within his embrace, fear taking over every fiber of his being, but Levi was there to protect him. He'd keep him safe from anything, and he knew that. "I've got you, Eren."
He could feel the tears dripping onto his shoulder and sliding down his back. He could hear the broken sobs come from Eren as he tried to calm down, but it wasn't easy. Even with Levi beside him, knowing Levi wouldn't let anything get to him, old fears were not so easy to let go.
The older man let go of his hand, but only to start searching for something. Either his or Eren's phone was nearby, and one of them could be a light source.
"Levy-!"
"Shh…" Levi hushed against his shoulder. "I've got you. It's okay." He wasn't sure what good it would do, but he hoped it would be enough.
It felt like forever before his hand brushed against an article of clothing, though he couldn't be sure whose it was. He felt along the item until the shape of a phone was present under the fabric. He pulled it out and instantly began pushing buttons, hoping for just a bit of light to calm Eren down. The screen lit up, the familiar background photo proving to him it was his own phone that he was holding. Even though it wasn't much, it was enough to light up just the small space between them.
His poor Eren looked like a mess with the tears staining his skin and his red cheeks and eyes. He winced at the sudden brightness, but knowing there was light was something that instantly helped him breathe.
"Thank you…" Eren breathed softly, his breath fanning across Levi's face. Levi offered up a small smile as he pulled on Eren's arm, prompting him to lay down against the bed. Eren's head hit the deflated pillows softly, his eyes never leaving the older man's as he pulled the blanket up to cover them both. He set the phone down beside their heads, making sure to switch the light on his phone to stay on. It'd burn out his battery, but hopefully the power would come back on soon enough.
Levi laid down beside him, pulling up the sheet to cover his shoulders. He settled, knowing with a strange sense of comfort that Eren was still looking at him, still watching him with that fond expression he had before.
Loving.
"I love you, Levy…" Eren whispered softly, fingers moving under the blanket to find his hand and hold it.
"I love you too…"
Eren's eyes closed, and for a moment, just a moment, he pictured what Levi's voice could sound like. It never seemed to be right in his mind. It never matched, but this was all he could do for now.
It hurt though. It hurt knowing he'd never know. It hurt enough to have one last tear slipping down his cheek.
Levi's free hand moved out from under the blankets to wipe it away with the back of his finger. Eren's eyes opened once more, looking at him through the bright light of his phone before the older man scooted closer to kiss him. It wasn't anything truly special. There was no passion or hunger making the kiss needy, but he swore that there was such a deep meaning behind it that it didn't matter.
At least that was all he could think about as sleep took over his tired senses.
A/N: I just wanted to say thank you for the 200 reviews! :D I really appreciate you guys taking the time to review. ^^ Thank you so much!