Hi everyone!
Thought I forgot about you again didn't you!?
NOOOOPE! I just got hella busy (and a small case of writers block)
BUT I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT YOU AGAIN I PROMISE!
That being said I have super exciting personal news I'll give you guys at the end of the chapter!

Now then, the winner by all but 3 votes!
Drag Dave around as John.

"What a drag." John mutters to himself as he tromps through the empty hallway. Dave flung over his shoulder, almost hitting the hammer strapped to his back with every step. A small peek of color flashes through as his hair moves, hands dangling down, and drops of dark red slowly dripping in a trial behind him. "I was hopeing we'd kick butt and save the world together Dave, like best buds do in video games... that would be awesome..."

John lets out an over dramatic sigh as he turns a corner nearly tripping over an arm with no body in sight. A small shudder escapes him as he steps over it. "Though I have to admit, video games got nothing on the brutality of it all... Hey Dave... You wanna play Mario Party when we get back? I mean... If we get back... We will get back right Dave? I mean we're winning! There is no way we can lose now! I'm not even getting attacked anymore! All that's left is the dumb Queen... right Dave?"

John steps into a more open area careful to move around the crumpled body of a female god, a gaping hole in her chest where her heart should have been. "I bet I'll win in Mario Party. I'm gonna get all the stars and make you do my chores for me for losing so badly. But... lets not play the cake level okay Dave? I know you think its funny but I really don't like cake. Not even the video game kind. Guess its a god thing the cake at the end of portal is a lie huh Dave?"

"The cake is not a lie dude."

"The cake is totally a lie! All those videos are just people being bored and making up that cake scene! No way do you actually get a cake at the end of the game if you get a perfect score! Who would even want that? Cake is so gro... DAVE!?"

A snort of laughter comes from behind John's back as he stops, Dave pushing himself up and craning his neck to look at the back of John's head. "You're not a very good prince charming John. Don't you know you're supposed to carry me princess style off into the sunset. I don't feel like a princess right now John. I want to be a pretty princess too. Give me my happily ever after! Carry me off into the sunset in both of your arms like a delicate lady then kiss me at the top of the hill on your faithful steed! Whisk me away to your castle!"

"Eww Dave." John drops him unceremoniously onto the ground, a subtle oomph of noise coming out of the blonde as he hits the floor. "Why would I want you for my princess? Don't you know I like em older?"

Dave pushes himself up to stand and rubs his ass. "You're so mean to me Egbert. Can't even give a girl her dream come true."

John snorts. "It's no dream come true if I'm married to you."

"Ouch." Dave whines dramatically. "You hurt me man."

John grins as Dave clutches his hands to his chest. "Speaking of hurting. How do you feel? You had us all worried. Even your brother looked scared."

"Bro? Scared! Nah, Bro doesn't get scared. He's cool as a cucumber, no emotions there. All straight faced business." Dave snorts running his hand through his hair, stopping when it collides with a sticky slightly soft protrusion from his head. He tilts his head in confusion, his fingers delicately following the curve coming out of his head.

John shakes his head and looks around, seeing a room he remembered being in he grabs Dave's hand and drags him down the hall towards it. He pushes the door open to the bathroom bringing Dave inside and shoving him in front of the mirror.

Dave stares at his reflection. His skin pale, even for him, and smeared with blood, mostly a dark crimson red shade smeared across his cheeks and neck. His eyes are normal, almost human except the shade. His hair is randomly plastered to his head in spots, held there with quickly drying blood he's determined to be his own, and horns coming up from the top of his head, curving a small way up to stop just above his ears. Small square like shapes pop out randomly along the curve of his horns making them look almost like gears sticking out of his head.

He reaches up pushing a finger into one of them, feeling a slight, almost skin over bone give under his touch. He smirks, his teeth stained red as he stares at his reflection. "Well shit John... I'm a god. Why aren't you bowing down to me Egbert. Worship me dude, I deserve it."

John snorts out a sarcastic laugh, pulling his feet up to sit cross-legged in the air, floating casually behind Dave. "Like I'd worship you. You're so lame Dave. I have better things to do."

Dave pokes at his horn again. "Dude, touch my horn it feels awesome."

"I already know what it feels like Dave. Bro let me touch his." John yawns scratching the back of his head.

"I'm sure he let you touch other things too." Dave turns around with a smirk, slipping into a look of shock. "Egbert, you're not touching anything." He crouches down, waving his arms under John's body in confusion.

John grins his head moving to put his feet back on the ground. "Isn't it awesome? I ran into that girl with the puffy hair. Fairy or something like that... She like, put her hands on my head like this." John shoves his hand into Dave's face. "And then I felt this like, POP right here." He moves his hand to point at his chest. "Then it was like MAGIC I could just FLY no training needed I was just FLOATING! Its so fun Dave."

Dave rolls his eyes turning to walk out the door. "Lucky you, you get your face molested and can fly. I gotta have my skull ripped open like a damn grapefruit on a juicer and almost lose one of my best friends... That's how you saved her! You fucking swooped her up like a damn bird catching a fish, didn't you Egbuns?"

John groans dramatically at the insult and walks behind Dave, grinning as they head back the way they came. "I had to die for this Dave. I died! I know the story. You're the one that told it to me! Don't you feel bad for me?"

A growl echoes through the halls causing both boys to stop mid step, turning their heads simultaneously to look behind them. They stare into the too-familiar solid black eyes, almost disappearing into the fur of its dog-like head. "Funny I thought I killed both of you." The words seep out of the dripping fangs, tongue moving out to lick the drool from its fangs as it grins widely.

John gulps, going pale as he stares at the creature that has haunted his dreams every night since the death of his parents.

The dog grins, dragging his sword across the floor as he steps closer and closer to the two. "That's okay though. This just means I get to kill you again." Black wings spread out sending a few feathers falling to the floor as he lunges forward sword out and ready."

"Get out of here Egbert." Dave shoves John out of the way, pressing himself against the wall as a wing cracks him hard on the shoulder.

John sits on the floor shaking, staring with wide eyes mostly white as he watches the dog turn and raise it's sword again. "EGBERT GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE."

John shakes his head violently. "No! He killed you Dave! I won't let him do it again. We're doing this." He pushes himself up on shaky legs reaching behind him to grab the handle of his hammer. "Just like in the video games!"

Dave grins and holds his hands up in fists in front of his face, bending his knees in preparation. "Fuck man guess we gotta beat this game and get the cake on the end then." John makes a disgusted face as he swings his hammer out to hold in front of him.

"The cake is a lie Dave, everyone knows that."

The dog lunges forward, both boys darting to opposite sides of the hall, ducking down to avoid the wings. John turns swinging his hammer up with as much force as he could, colliding with a loud crack with an outstretched wing, sending feathers flying into the air as the dog howls out in pain. It jerks around flinging its broken wing behind it and swiping its sword rapidly at John. The dark haired boy squeaks in surprise walking backwards down the hall as fast as he can as the sword swipes closer and closer to his face.

Dave runs and lunges, wrapping his arms around the dog's neck and yanking back causing the sword to swipe just over John's head, a few strands of dark hair falling down from its blade. "STOP THAT YOU DUMB MUTT!"

The dog stops struggling, causing both boys to blink in confusion, tilting their heads. John slowly pulls himself up into standing as Dave carefully pulls his arms back. "I think you broke him Dave." John waves his hand in front of the frozen dog's face, a look of rage spread across it's muzzle as its bent back in an awkward angle, wing dangling limply onto the floor.

Dave moves around to stand next to John. "Face it John, I'm just so cool that just my touch can freeze a man... dog... beast thing... what even is this?"

John shrugs grabbing at the dog's hand and slowly pulling the fingers off of it's sword. "It's gonna be dead soon, that's all that matters."

Dave nods and grabs the handle of the sword from its claws watching for movement as he pulls it to his chest, moving so he can grip it blade down. He pulls the sword up over his head aiming the tip at the dog's chest before jerking it down, splatters of black coating both boys as the dog unfreezes with a Jerk and crumples to the ground, sword slipping out of Dave's fingers as it falls.

John makes a face and wipes at the blood, scowling further as it just smears more blood onto him. "I told you the cake was a lie Dave."

THAT WAS A REALLY LONG CHAPTER LIKE WOW
But man was it fun to write!
okay so EXCITING NEWS TIME!
I'm pregnant guys! It's early on I'm only about 6 weeks in, my first Doctors appointment is late February! I'm so excited for my little unborn grubling.

Okay enough about me.
The next chapter:
Be the pissed off Queen
Command an army as Feferi and Meenah

UNTIL NEXT TIME