Chapter 6 - 50 fists of pink.
Goddamit, God-fucking-dammit, what the hell is wrong with these idiots? how can they be so stupid? aren't voidborns supposed to be, like, super evil beings or what? Why the hell, are they talking about the frigging stork? Why are they drinking tea? but above everything else, WHY THE HELL AM I FOLLOWING THIS GODDAMN LECHEROUS OCTOPUS? he has sexually assaulted me once...well, I didn't hate it, in fact, it was...quite good...BUT STILL...okay I may have been a little frustrated lately...alright, alright, I've been extremely frustrated, my love life hasn't been that active, in fact, it's almost sad.
First of all, Jayce dumped me, yes, THE DICKHEAD OF TOMORROW dumped me, his reasons? I'm too childish for him...in reality, I think he might be gay, I mean, I know I'm a tomboy but my body it's quite sexy, I'm fit thanks to my work, I might be a bit muscular, but not too much, I mean, my abs can be intimidating but they are sexy...overall, I'm a sexy girl...still, that gay bastard left me.
The worst thing of all, I can't seduce women, I've tried to have a go with Cupcake, I failed completely, she was quite harsh and cold, I mean, we've been partners for such a long time, I thought...I thought that maybe...we had something... I was wrong.
This is just stupid, I can't be straight or even lesbian 'cuz both women and men hate my guts, then what am I supposed to do? well, I've grown desperate, my only choice it's Velkro... I mean, there are several Ionian comics in the evidence room, I won't lie, I've read a few of them, but... I was...lonely, and then this octopus with a deep voice appears out of nowhere creating a havoc, I was curious, at first I just wanted to dispell those silly thoughts, and then he fondled my boobs until I... came.
I know it's sick and I know I might be insane, but...considering what I have in front of me...
- So it's all about the stork - the big-ass Cho'gath said grinning...or so I thought - well that is certainly a relief, Malzahar, thank you for... - the creepy guy didn't realize what Cho'Gath was saying, he was more interested in looking at Cupcake's rack, what a fucking virgin - Anyways, Vel'Koz, what are your plans now?
- I need to look deeper into the stork matter - "Velkro said with his deep and sexy voice...I'm so going to visit the psychiatrist" - I came to Piltover in order to study this matter, also, I'm trying to understand human feelings, so I guess I'll go to the library.
- If I can suggest something - "Cho'Gath said eating a biscuit" - maybe you should go to Ionia - "now that's a bad idea, show the tentacle monster how tentacles work, I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going" - Whilst Piltover library it's quite grand, in Ionia you will find better answers, Ionians are scholars when it comes to subtle matters like human feelings, also - "he said getting serious" - I think you should investigate the other voidborns, see if they have changed just like us.
- hmm - "Velkro hummed, thinking" - but why Ionia?
- Kha'zix is there - "The voidling? In Ionia?" - we've been in contact for a long time, you can start your research there.
- Where are the others?
- Kha'zix it's in Ionia, I believe Rek'Sai is somewhere within the desert of Shurima, I'm not sure about Kog'Mah, the last thing I heard of him was in the Kumungu jungle, but I'm afraid he might have moved to somewhere else - "Great, a bunch of deadly creatures are running free in Valoran, great" - I must warn you, there is a treat for you in this journey.
- Which is?
- You see, void energy can change humans, Malzahar is a proof - "Malzahar bowed and waved at me...weird" - so I'm afraid there is some aggressive human called Kassadin, hunting us down, you must be careful.
- I understand - "wait, some crazy guy hunting my Velkro, maybe this is a bad idea" - I'll be careful, thank you for the warming.
- Anyway, have a safe trip.
- I'm afraid you won't - "Cupcake said, entering the chat" - boats have been stopped due to something called "The Harrowing", in the past, we have lost many lives.
- Worry not, dear lady - "Cho'Gath said...smiling?" - there is a way to reach Ionia.
- Which is?-"I asked".
Cho'Gath made a slight move with his head, Malzahar then brought a letter and gave it to Velkro.
- You see - "he said drinking tea" - I have a few acquaintances who own me several favors, one of them has a boat, he can take you to Ionia, there is a small problem, she is in Freljord, so you will need to travel a little bit, but - "Cho'Gath said looking at me and Cupcake" - I'm sure you will make there just fine, right Enforcer?
- Uh... - "Why me?" - Yeah, don't worry, we will make sure Velkro here reaches the station - "I heard him said "It's Vel'Koz, not Velkro" - don't worry, I will protect him.
- So, you will protect him - "I don't like the way cupcake it's looking at me" - That's pretty weird, I haven't seen you so friendly with a stranger, even more, a void stranger - "Oh, fuck, i know that smile" - so, what happened?
- Really? that's wonderful! - "Please Cho'Gath, shut up" - Please, Enforcer, tell us what happened?
- N...nothing happened - "I'm so dead" - I...I just think he is a nice guy, it's not like we got some skinship...WAIT! THAT'S WRONG!
- So, skinship? - "I hate when cupcake shows her sadistic side" - like maybe...touching...somewhere - "FUCK! PLEASE STOP".
- I touched her in her thorax area - "WHRAAAAAR! VELKROOOO, YOU ARE SO DEAD!" - it was a mistake and I apologized for it.
- Miss Enforcer - "said the creepy guy" - so you have a thing for voidlings, he. he. he - "eww" - if you please come with me I can show how...big my void energy is.
- SHUT UP, YOU FRIGGING VIRGIN!
Shit I can see how cupcake smiles at me with that mischevious smile of hers, goddammit, I bet she is taking revenge for letting Jinx kidnap Velkro, geez, she can be a bitch sometimes.
- Virgin? - "Oh, shit" - What is "virgin"? - "please, Velkro, don't look at me like that".
- Well - "What do I do?"- Virgin is...like when you love someone... - "no, I can't tell him that" - It's a human thing.
- Are you a virgin, Vi?
- What, fuck n...- "wait" - Uhm... why do you ask? do you like them like that?
At that point cupcake burst in laughter, shit, I can feel my face turning red, fucking shit.
- Don't worry about that Mister koz - "Cupcake said after calming down" - I'm sure there is enough time for you to learn those things, anyways, we just wanted to make sure the voidborn wasn't a threat to the city, I guess we overreacted, let us escort you to the train station.
- What is a train?
- You'll see when we get there - "I said getting closer and smiling at his curious gaze".
- Wait - "Velkro said getting closer to Cho'Gath" - Why did you change? do you know how it happens?
- yes - "Cho'Gath said...nodding? I guess" - You see I was just doing my thing, you know, eating humans and stuff - "I forgot he is a monster" - and then I...drank this! - "he said raising his cup of tea" - this godly delicacy, it all came to me.
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...
WHAT THE FUCK?
I don't really know whether voidborns are weird or just stupid idiots, really? tea? just some tea changed a frigging monster into a...gentleman? Then again, Velkro it's really weird, but it's cute, I just love how excited he was when we reached the train station, jumping around, looking at everything like a kid in a sweetshop, it made me laugh, of course, Cupcake went back to HQ, saying something about paperwork, but I saw her smiling at me, frigging bitch, I left Velkro on her own while I explained the situation to the engine driver, not every day you get to transport an evil-looking being, so I made sure Velkro could travel without being annoyed by the other passengers.
...
Why do I even bother? we are way too different, we can't be together and I can tell he doesn't see me like that, I'm just some human helping him, I really doubt he knows I'm his friend...why did I fall in love with a void creature? just, what is wrong with me? I knew I had a thing for nerdy guys (Gaytard of tomorrow, for example) but this is ridiculous.
I see him at the distance, looking everywhere, like a puppy, I smile, I guess I can enjoy these little moments and dream a life with him, a silly but beaut...
- HEY, VEL'KOZ! - "what...what is she doing here?" - Did ya miss me?
- Hello, Jinx- "don't talk to her, she is dangerous, you stupid octopus" - how are you doing?
- Of course fine- "ugh, I hate that smile" - so tell me, did my knowledge helped you with fathands?
- I must say it did, thank you for your contribution.
- Anyways, I'm sorry I bailed on ya but I had to destroy some things, sorry for letting them caught ya but...
-Why are you lying?
...
...
What?
-What do you mean? - "the twerp said smiling" - I'm not lying, I reaaaallly had...
- Why are you lying? - Velkro asked again
Suddenly, Jinx changed, her smile wore off, all her energy disappeared, her insanity was gone, all that was left was a small girl, with a sad grin on her face.
- Geez, Vel'Koz - "Jinx said quietly, so I got a bit closer" - You can't just say that to a girl - "she looked at him" - What do you know?
- I took a sample of your DNA and Vi's - "when did that happen? "- I didn't realize at first since there was too much information to analyze, but upon meeting you here I found there is a 90% of matching traces between both of you - "he can't' mean" - You and Vi are blood-related.
-Well, aren't you a clever boy? - "this is a lie, I'm dreaming, Malzahar drugged me and I'm dreaming, this can't be happening"
- Why are you lying?
Jinx sighed and looked at the sky.
- What do you think of Piltover, Vel'Koz?
- It's a beautiful city, there are so many wonders, I would like to know everything...but - "Velkro said looking at the sky" - when I look up, at the sky, I feel like there is something lurking around me, a strange force hiding beneath this wonders.
- You are right - "Jinx said patting him in his side" - There is something evil in this city, I'm trying to exhibit it, but they are like rats, they always find a way to escape, I'm trying to destroy them before Vi finds out, if she does she will try to stop them by herself, but she is too close to them, if she does something, they will kill her, so that's why - "Jinx looked at Velkro again" - I need your help, this is the favor I was asking for.
- What can I do for you?
- When the time comes... - "her voice started to crack" - I... I want you to be at my side...and help me protect my little sister, you are my only friend, so please, be there for me.
- Your...friend?
- but of course, I helped you and told you my secrets, you are my friend - "Jinx said, regaining her usual self" - so, will you help me?
- I'll be there, for Vi - "My heart skipped a beat"
- AWESOME! NOW, SEE YA LATER, OCTOPUS! - "Jinx said disappearing".
Jinx...my sister? It's impossible, we don't even look alike...but I have amnesia, I can't remember some things about my past...what if she is right?... then, who are these people she is trying to destroy? a force so big they can kill me easily? she said they are close to me...maybe the higher ups? this is seriously fucked up I need to tell cupcake, maybe I can get something else from Velkro
I reach him and before can start talking he grabs my hand.
- I'll be there - "he says" - I'll be there, I promise.
I can't talk, I can just see how he boards the train waves at me, the train disappears in the distance, but I can't move, I'm too shocked to do anything.
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...
I will confess my feelings when he comes back...and I'll marry him.