Chapter 8 - The Queen of hearts.
"Freljord, The land of eternal winter, a land ruled by strongest, a land so rough It's denizens sometimes eat rocks for breakfast...without milk, even thought Freljord holds incredibly strong traits it hasn't been recognized as a city-state, it is roughly a small town living on the outskirts of the mountains, the reason is because there is a civil war, according to the log book, there is a struggle for the power involving three powerful women:
Ashe, The frost archer, wise and mature, ruler of the Avarosan, she seeks for peace across the land, with a gentle heart but a strong hand, she leads her people to the future, watching over the well-being of her beloved tribe.
Sejuani, The Winter's wrath, ruthless and impatient, leader of The Winter's claw, she seeks for dominance, the strong over the weak, like animals, her hatred for Ashe knows no bounds, only war will sate her hunger.
Lissandra, The ice witch, Queen of the Frost Guard, for her, the ice it's the only truth, betrayed by her sisters in the past, Lissandra seeks nothing but revenge against the whole world and nothing will stop her."
- And then we have The Braum, The heart of Freljord, king of the goats, strong and handsome, he watches over the Freljord, saving Octodad from the perverted fox, his goal is to have one-hundred friends.
- That's nice, Braum, but that isn't part of the book...Also, it's Vel'Koz, not Octodad.
- Ha, ha ha, I know, my friend, I was just messing around with you.
I'm happy.
Not every human is scared of me, I've found this wonderful man called Braum, he is kind, a bit rough but his heart knows no bounds...and there is the lecherous fox, I don't really hate her but she scares me, I mean, not every day you learn there are creatures that eat voidborns, but, on closer look, I can tell she is a good natured creature, a bit crazy, but a good girl.
- Look, Vel'Koz, we are close - Braum said.
In front of us there was a huge wall made of ice, above it, I could see a great castle, it was as tall as the mountains around it, such magnificent sight.
- here we are - I heard Braum say - The kingdom of Avarosa, here in the city of Rakelstake you will find someone willing to lead you to Ionia...and for our little friend here - he said tossing and catching the rug - I guess you can take her with you unless you drop her here.
- That's a good idea, or maybe I can send her home, wherever that is.
- That's very good, very kind, well - Braum handed me the rug - It's on you now, buddy, good luck.
- You won't stay with me?
- I'm afraid so, there are things I must do, but don't worry, if you got problems you come to me first - he turned around and left - I'll see you someday, Vel'Koz.
I chuckled, indeed, we will meet again and I will tell you every wonderful thing I found, as I looked him disappear I continued reading.
"There are many legends and myths of Freljord, like the legend of the watchers or the hidden creature in the true ice, but the greatest tale belongs to the Heart of Freljord, Braum, a huge man with the biggest heart in the world, always ready to help, the last to leave, a beacon of hope among the ancient citizens of Freljord during the dreadful war times, the legend says Braum will appear in front of those lost in the Blizzard, those worthy of his kindness, this is a legend since there are no records of him appearing so..."
I looked at the sky again.
The legends were true...and I was worthy, coming to Freljord was the right choice.
- Uhm...fuaaa-I heard behind me - ...Oh, Octodad, hey cutie pie - Ahri said seductively - come on, let me out, I won't bite you, I will just suck you...
- Please, remain calm - I interrupted - Don't make me regret my choice.
-Tee hee - she giggled - Cross my heart...Why am I tied in this rug?
- There was a Blizzard, you could have died...also you are scary, so you stay there until I can ensure my safety.
- boo - she groaned - come one, I just wanted to taste you, you look delicious, come one, let me taste those tentacles with my...
I ignored her and got closer to the wall, on the wall there was a door with some sort of control post beside it, maybe I could talk to the humans.
- hey - Ahri groaned - don't leave me here.
I sighed and grabbed her, I inspected the control post but there were no humans.
- What's wrong? - Ahri asked - tell them to let us in.
- There's no one here.
- well, there must be a lever somewhere, if you pull it the door will open.
- how do you know that?
- I've been here before...but, they kind of...kicked me out - Ahri said gingerly.
- ...Why?
- Ehm...It's a long story, I'll tell you but first let's enter the city and get comfy.
- No, first we enter the city and then we get you some clothes.
- Cheapskate.
I found the lever quite easily, the doors opened cracking and in front of me lied Rakelstake...It was quite disappointing, it looked just like a rural area, there weren't any magnificent devices like in Piltover, in fact, the city was quite dull, sturdy houses made of rock, lamps lit with oil, horses and some farm animals running around, the most surprising thing was that there were no humans to be seen, as if I just entered a ghost town.
- hey, what's wrong? - Ahri asked.
I mean "We" entered a ghost town.
- There's no one here.
- That's impossible, yesterday this town was full of juicy...and tasty vict...I mean, people.
-You were going to say victims, right?
- Waa...No, of course, no - Ahri said gingerly - what I was trying to s...
I felt a jolt in my body.
I threw myself forward, dodging several arrows, as I looked at the origin I saw dozens of soldiers facing me with their weapons ready...This feels rather familiar.
- KILL THE MONSTER!
- GET OUT OF OUR KINGDOM!
- MAN, I SAW THIS ON AN IONIAN COMIC!
Friggin Ionian comics.
- I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going - Ahri said.
I tossed her on the ground, the rug was such a nuisance and the soldiers were charging at me, several of them tried to slice me down, but they were too slow, I tried to avoid harming them.
- please - I pleaded - I mean no harm, I just need to meet this woman called Ashe.
- HE IS AFTER THE QUEEN!
- HE WANTS TO KILL THE QUEEN!
- HE WANTS TO RAPE THE QUEEN!
- HE WANTS TO RAPE THE KING!
...
Well, that sure escalated quickly.
Suddenly an arrow flew towards me, I dodge it barely but the arrow exploded near me sending me flying and freezing my body, I grunted in pain as I felt the ice burning my skin...curious, how can ice burn? I thought only fire could...
-SILENCE! LET ME THROUGH! I WANT TO SEE THIS MONSTER! - I heard a woman yell
As the men moved out of her way I was able to study this woman, white hair, blue eyes, she was wearing a crown and some sort of royalty blue dress, in her hands she held a bow made of ice, her face was stern and her gaze was filled with disgust...it kind of hurt me.
- now, monster - The woman said - I heard you were looking for me.
- ...Are you Ashe?
- Yes - she said aiming her bow against me -I am Ashe, leader of the Avarosa and the Queen of Freljord, now, before I extinguish your disgusting life, do you have one last request?
- Please, don't kill me, I mean no harm, I came to deliver this - I said taking out the letter Cho'Gath gave me - My friend told me you could help me.
- there is no way some random... - she began but then she stopped as she read the letter - ...Oh...ah... - she turned at her soldiers - EVERYONE! STAND BY! HE IS A GUEST! DON'T HURT HIM, AND RELEASE HIM!
The man looked at the queen gobsmacked but they did as she said and freed me, Ashe looked at me with a gentle smile.
- I apologize, mister Octodad, I didn't know you were a friend of Cho'Gath - Ashe said helping me out of the ice prison-please, allow me to help you - she said turning at her men - SOMEONE BRING THAT FORTUNE PIRATE! SHE HAS A JOB TO DO!
- Ehm...Thank you - I said a bit scared - I'm really grateful.
- Anything for Cho'Gath's friend, also I have to apologize somehow, I almost beheaded you - She said giggling - anyways, what is that rug?
- Uhm... I need another favor, can I let her in your care? I don't really want to deal with her any longer.
- of course, but who...
Suddenly the rug exploded in a wave of blue fire, within it Ahri emerged all her naked...er..."Glory", several men shouted in awe, some of them fainted and a few had a nosebleed...just how do you get a nosebleed from seeing a naked woman?
- Yes - I continued-Her name is Ahri...she is kind of dangerous, like, she said something about doing it and eating me...I will be really thankful if you could deal with her.
Ashe looked at me with a menacing grin, it made me shiver in fear.
- I will deal with her...forever.
Ashe the aimed her bow and shot at Ahri, the fox-lady felt the bloodlust and dodged.
- hey, who the fuck di... - she the saw Ashe and started sweating - oh...H...Hey, Ashe...are you, like, still mad at me?
- Why would I?-Ashe said in a really dangerously happy tone - I mean, you just seduced my husband...
- hey, It wasn't my fault, he is weak and I was...
- In front of me...
-I...I...I didn't see you, I mean...I was...
-In the MIDDLE OF MY FUCKING SPEECH IN FRONT OF SEJUANI AND LISSANDRA...
- please, please, I was...
- YOU WERE STARK NAKED! - Ashe roared firing more arrows at Ahri - BEHEAD HER! BEHEAD HER! BEHEAD HER!
- QUEEN OF HEARTS!- a soldier called Ashe - Miss fortune is here
The new woman had red hair and emerald eyes, she was wearing a thick coat and a weird hat, she was clearly pissed.
-Yes, What do you want? Queen of hearts - she asked venomously
- I'LL BEHEAD YOU IF YOU CALL ME THAT AGAIN! - Ashe breathed slowly to calm herself down - Sarah, I need you to help Octodad reach Ionia...and also this SLUT - I heard Ahri yell "Hey!".
- My name is Vel'Koz, not Octodad.
Miss Fortune looked at me with disgust.
- HELL NO! - She answered.
- Well - Ashe said gently - then I guess I could just...you know, BEHEAD YOU!...so, choose now your destiny, Sarah! your boat or my guillotine!
...
...
...
Women are scary.