Chapter 52: Reconciliation:
I'm Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog!
(Yawn) Well, THAT was fun. I was made
fun of by my own friends, thrown out of my
own house, and forced to sleep in my own
backyard for days. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY
BE WORSE?! Ugh, well I've had it with this
new lifestyle! I'm headed back inside, and I
won't let those ungrateful assholes get in my
way AGAIN!
Back at the mansion, days had passed. It was afternoon, as Sonic climbed down out of the large tree in the backyard, somewhat drowsy, and having finally lost the last of his body-fat.
"You! Down!" He snapped at a random Chao that had been sitting on his head during his nap.
The Chao flew away and continued to frolic around the garden with its fellow brethren, before spontaneously jumping onto another Chao, pinning it to the ground as it repeatedly jerked its lower body in a rhythmic fashion.
"Oh! God!" Sonic said, looking away, "Oh right...mating season. Why did I seriously come out here at a time like this?"
After asking himself that question, Sonic sighed. He knew it was the bullying from his friends that had caused him to flee into the yard.
"All right, I can do this. I will go back into that house! I will stand up to my friends! I will find a way to treat or cure my ED! And I won't let them drive me out of the house again, damn it!" He said to himself, "...mostly because I can't go another day without something to eat."
After a deep breath, Sonic opened the back door, which was unlockable from either outside or in. He walked down the hallway, half-expecting to see one of his housemates pass by and question where he had been, or even try to make fun of him again. Thankfully, he didn't come across anyone on his way to the kitchen.
Giving a sigh of relief, he made a beeline for the refrigerator and jerked the door open.
"Hmm, so what do we have? Prunes? Oh, wait, off limits! Anchovy pizza? Guessing Blaze ordered that. Uh, what's this?" He said as he rummaged around in the fridge, before picking up a fancy to-go box with red sketches of some Asian architecture on the sides.
"Ooh, Thai noodles with chicken, beef, pork, shrimp, tofu, egg, thai chilies, and peanut sauce? Hell yes!" Sonic exclaimed, immediately popping the container into the microwave and setting the timer for 60 seconds, "This sounds like it could be pretty good! Besides, even I can't eat chili dogs all the time!"
Just 5 seconds into the countdown, however, Sonic (who had been jittering the whole time) nonchalantly stopped the heating process, leaned over to the side to reach the silverware drawer, and grabbed his lunch.
"Bah, who cares? I'll eat it cold! I'm dying of starvation right now!" He said, walking out of the room, "Hey! Someone accidentally dropped a crab rangoon in the carton! Keepers!"
I'm Amy Rose! I'm cute and I'm full of energy!
...Well okay, maybe the latter isn't entirely true right now!
I really shouldn't be surprised that something like this
happened as a result of Sonic's injury! I mean, it always does
with the overweight! And now the probability of him ever
getting his drive back is even lower, seeing as how he's
nowhere to be found! I've searched everywhere! Including the
front and back yard! Ah well, this calls for desperate measures!
Meanwhile, Amy was busying herself on the house-phone, hurriedly pacing around the hallway opposite to the one Sonic was in.
"Hello, Mobius Food Delivery? Yes, I would like 50 pounds of cheddar brats delivered to 315 Aqua Shield Lane, please." She said.
"Now just why in da' hell would someone want this much food delivered to they house?!" The lady on the other phone asked, her voice sounding like a stereotypical black woman.
"Oh, just to pleasure myself! ...Uh, with the joy of cooking for the massive...tailgating party, um, this weekend! Yeah! That's all!" Amy replied.
"I see. Well, ya' does realize that you could just go buy enough fuh yo' guests at da' supermarket instead o' calling us." The lady replied, "And we only distribute food to restaurants anyways."
"Well, the supermarket most likely doesn't have enough cheddar brats for what I've got planned. Besides, those ones are pre-cooked and sitting in water! I want them nice, fresh and raw, so I can cook them myself to be as authentic as possible, and...enjoy munching on them bit by bit, and...sucking out the rich, delectable filling, and...slipping them nice and hot right between the buns..." Amy replied, smiling as she stared off into space.
"Alright, enough excuses! What is you, love-starved?" The lady sighed.
"What?! No! I just want to make it look like I can put on a show! ...Um, in the kitchen...as I prepare the bratwursts myself and avoid looking like a lazy bastard!" Amy countered, growing annoyed.
"Mm-hmm. Sure ya' does." The lady replied sarcastically.
"Rrrrggghh! DON'T JUDGE ME, YOU NOSY BITCH!" Amy replied.
"Well dat' was a little rude! Know what? You'se ain't gettin' them damn brats, no matter what yo' excuse is! Mah business only delivers to restaurants, not bratty housewives like you! Now I suggest you get yo' ass off da' phone before I..." The lady countered, only to be cut off as the angered Amy nonchalantly hung up.
"Some people are just too rude!" She groaned, slumping away.
"And so the male hedgehog walks up to the female hedgehog, and pins her down onto the grass. Humping his haunches in a rhythmic fashion, he begins to copulate with her, all the while secreting thick saliva all over her quills in order to protect himself." The narrator said on a nature documentary on the TV, his accent British.
"Ugh, what the fuck is wrong with these guys?! And they're in the middle of someone's yard too?! How uncivilized!" Sonic complained, before noticing Amy walking into the room at the sound of the commotion
"Oh, Sonic! You came back! We all were wondering when you would! And- AUGH! You're filthy!" She said, immediately withdrawing from the hug she was about to give him.
"Huh? I'm not-" Sonic replied, only to suddenly see himself in a hand-mirror that Amy had just pulled out.
During the several days he had spent outside and away from food or hygienics, Sonic had not only lost the last of the extra weight, but his quills had also become frizzier, and blue fur had grown all over his arms.
"Hey, all I need now is a bunch of sports tape and a scarf, and then I'll look like...eww!" Sonic replied.
"Hey! What's the commotion?" A voice said from the hallway. It was Knuckles, walking into the room alongside Tails.
"Well, look who's back in! I thought you were..." Tails commented, patting Sonic on the back, before looking up to see the TV screen, "...watching porn?!"
"No, it's just Animal Planet." Sonic replied, before noticing Amy walking up to turn it off.
"Well enough standing around. I think that tomorrow, we should go to the beach. Life is short, and days like this don't come often." She said, bending over and turning off the TV set (with Knuckles slouching over to look up her skirt, only to be bitch-slapped by Sonic, causing him to be sent spinning before landing on the ground).
"Um, that sounds nice, but why not today?" Tails questioned.
"Well it's almost 3:00, which is when the beach closes. Plus, we're all too busy regardless. Knuckles needs to get off the floor, I need to eat lunch, and Sonic, you need to spruce up a bit, and afterwards I have something important for you to do." Amy replied, grabbing Sonic by his dirty-gloved hands, "Surely being out in the elements has...manned you up a bit."
"Uhm..." Sonic replied, unsure of how to respond.
"You can answer me later, just go clean up now!" Amy continued, hurrying out of the room.
Everyone else did the same, with Sonic being the last one to reach the door.
"SONIC!" Amy yelled from the kitchen.
"Yes?" Sonic replied.
"DID YOU EAT MY LEFTOVER THAI?!" She continued.
"Well what else could I eat? I was in a fog, and there were no chili dogs...for reasons I already know." Sonic replied, walking off and receiving no response.
Meanwhile, out in the front yard by a window, Orbot and Cubot were hiding in the shrubs that surrounded the front porch, both of them hiding inside a large, hand-sewn dog suit, with Orbot peeking out of the mouth and extending his eyes outward like binoculars in order to see into the house.
"So it turns out that they'll be coming right to our hideout tomorrow." Orbot stated, getting back down, "We'd better hurry back so we can finish preparations."
Orbot started to move, only the realize that Cubot wasn't helping move the suit. He looked out and noticed that one of the "legs" on the dog suit was sticking up behind them, and a stream of oil was spraying out.
"Eww, seriously?" He groaned.
"What?! When ya' gotta go, ya' gotta go!" Cubot replied, after emptying his robotic bladder.
The duo then began to make their way back to their hideout on Emerald Coast.