I own nothing, fair use, blah blah blah, Capcom employees, if you have time to read this, you have time to go on a message board for five minutes and listen to your fans about opinions and shit. I don't know. I've already run out of jokes for these and its only the third chapter, i mean EPISODE.

Also, Sonic's not coming back. Ever. He's boring and unimportant. Yeah.

Episode 3: Robotnik Opens A Teleporter Network

Listening Music: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog- Robotnik's Theme

watch?v=aO_z2nO3ByM

"COCONUTS!"

Coconuts turned around slowly, mentally preparing for the task of having to deal with his overbearing boss. This was quite a common occurrence.

"Yes, Your Maliciousness?" Robots don't normally have facial expressions, but Coconuts had an expression of exasperation on his face just for this moment.

"WHERE EXACTLY IS DREAM LAND?!"

Coconuts was dumbfounded. He had never ventured outside Robotnik's lab, for he was not equipped with combat functions because of that one time with the exploding bananas. That was not a good day.

"THE SCOUTER SAYS MY NEXT POTENTIAL OPPONENT IS THERE, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS!"

"Well, Dream Land isn't on any of our maps, and our maps don't go outside Robotropolis, so-
"WHAT?! WHOSE STUUUPID IDEEEA WAS THIS?! OF ALL THE THINGS THAT COULD GO WRONG-"

"It was your idea, Your Jackassness." In Coconuts' many years as Robotnik's flunky, he had gotten used to Robotnik forgetting every other thing he did. Including getting dressed. It had been hard to erase that from his mainframe.

"HOOOOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I, THE GRRRREAT DOCTOR IVO RRRROBOTNIK, WOULD BE RRRESPONSIBLE FOR SUCH AN IGNORANT-"

"You have a call from: Doctor Albert Wily!"

Music: Kevin Macleod- Evil Plan

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The large television in the center of the room lit up, showing Dr. Wily's grinning mug on it.
"Hello, Ivo! I heard you beat that meddlesome blue pest of yours!"

"INDEED!" Robotnik pumped his fist. "I AM AT LAST RID OF THAT MEDDLESOME SCUM!"

"Glad to hear it! What's your plan now? You've got the whole world ready for the taking!"

"I'M ON A MISSION TO BEAT UP THE MOST POWERFUL OPPONENTS IN THE WORLD SO I CAN GAIN GLOBAL POWER!"

"Well, that's quite an undertaking! ...you're sure Sonic's absolutely out of commission so that he can't steal it away in the nick of time, right?" Wily laughed heartily.

"OH, YES! I HAVE HIM LOCKED AWAY IN MY HYPER-PRISON CELL! HE'LL NEVER GET OUT IN A MILLION YEARS!"

Dr. Wily yawned. "You still owe me one billion rings from the last time you said that, you know. The interest rates are astronomical here, you know."

"ENOUGH BLATHERING ABOUT PAST BETS UNPAID! I NEED THE COORDINATES FOR A PLACE CALLED DREAM LAND!" Robotnik looked at the scouter, and it showed a blue penguin-looking thing in the panel. "I HAVE TO GO DISPATCH THIS THING CALLED 'KING DEDEDE!"

Wily raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Really? Dream Land? I've been there. I conquered it once, but it was so boring that I gave it back."
Robotnik put on an expression that said "I don't believe you in the slightest", only with not as many words. "Didn't your fortress get eaten by some pink thing-"
"We. Do. Not. Talk. About. That." Wily looked extremely pissed off despite his calm tone, and Robotnik decided it was a good idea not to press the issue. Soon enough, some numbers came up on the screen.

"All right, Ivo, here are the coordinates for Dream Land. If you're looking for Dedede, he's probably in his giant castle. Can't miss it. He's probably compensating for something, now that I think about it."
"HAHAHAHA! HE WILL COWER BEFORE THE SIZE AND GIRTH OF MY MIGHTY PINGAS AND-"
"Your Dickishness, the teleporter's ready." Coconuts was standing near the terminal, his finger on the button.

"YAAAHHOOOOO! I'M OFF TO OBTAIN ULTIMATE POOOOWWWAAAA-" Coconuts hit the button, sending Robotnik to Dream Land and cutting him off. The room was silent for a few minutes before Wily spoke up.

"...so, does Ivo always brag about his-"

Coconuts rolled his eyes. "All the time."

Will Robotnik take down King Dedede?

Will Wily ever take a direct role in the plot of this story?

Will Robotnik ever whip out his PINGAS and beat people over the head with it?

Find out on the next exciting episode of Robotnik's Grand Domination, "Robotnik Discovers His Cuteness Allergy!"