EPISODE FOURTEEN: ROBOTNIK HAS A BETTER OFFER
Author's Note: In case you couldn't tell, this is Ursula from The Little Mermaid. The origin of Krabs should be very obvious. Drago is basically the massive mecha dragon boss from Mega Man 2, except cooler.
Also, from here to chapter 16, the pacing might slow down a little. My bad, it gets better after that.
Listening Music: SpongeBob: Battle For Bikini Bottom: Spongebob's Dream
watch?v=mSzjxulx1cE
Robotnik and Splash Woman were riding on Drago towards Ursula's undersea palace, and there was nothing at all going wrong.
This would not last for long, but let's pretend it does.
"GEE, IT SURE IS BORING AROUND HERE!" Robotnik said.
"I just wonder what Ursula's up to!" Splash Woman muttered to herself.
The duo heard a loud screaming off in the distance, that was quickly approaching them at a ridiculous speed!
"WHAT IS THAT?!" Robotnik said before being cut off by a large torpedo whizzing by them!
Splash Woman pressed a button on the back of Drago's neck, and he whirled around several more torpedoes that rocketed past them and exploded, sending ripples throughout the water?
"YAAAAAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"
A loud, annoying crab riding on a massive nuclear warhead was heading directly towards the duo, with a maniacal grin on his face!
"THAT REFERENCE ISN'T FUNNY, KIDS! NOW, ARRRRR YA READY FOR THE THRASHING OF A LIFETIME?!"
Robotnik jumped off Drago's back and onto the ocean floor, the Bubble Helmet functioning in perfect working order! The interloper followed, grinning widely!
"SPLASH WOMAN, GET THAT MISSILE OFF YOUR TAIL FIRST! I CAN HANDLE THIS OVERGROWN CRUSTACEAN!" Robotnik flexed muscularly!
Splash Woman nodded, and steered Drago away, the massive warhead following behind them.
The two adversaries stared each other down, neither one moving an inch.
"I ASSUME YOU'RE WORKING FOR THAT WRETCHED URSULA!" Robotnik yelled.
"YA BET I AM, AND SHE'S OFFERIN' ME A LOT OF MONEY FOR YERRR HEAD!" The intruder responded. He flexed his claws and beckoned for Robotnik to come closer!
"AND BY THE IRON SHELL OF EUGENE KRABS, I'LL HAVE YERR REAR END CUT OFF, AND MOUNTED OVER HER FIREPLACE!"
Listening Music: The Spongebob Squarepants Movie Game: Final Boss Music
watch?v=YB8SGnNoSsE
CASH-COVETING CRUSTACEAN
MR. EUGENE KRABS
"I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT…" Mr Krabs pounded his claws together before charging at Robotnik at a ridiculous speed!
"IIIII'MMMM FEEEEEELING LIKE A TOTAL BARNACLE HEAAAAAD!"
Mr. Krabs lunged at Robotnik with a claw, but Robotnik dodged it, and countered with a punch!
"I'M IN THE MOOD FOR A SUCCULENT SEAFOOD DINNER TODAY!"
But Krabs shrugged it off like it was nothing, and continued his assault, getting closer to pinching Robotnik with every attempt!
Robotnik dodged around behind Mr. Krabs and launched a flurry of jabs and punches at the back of Mr. Krabs' head, but he just turned around, none the worse for wear!
"HAHAHAHA! OLD IRON-SHELL KRABS DOESN'T EVEN BLINK AT YOUR PUNY LITTLE FISTS!" Krabs whirled around and grabbed Robotnik's arm, clenching it, threatening to chop it off! Robotnik aimed the Robotnik Buster at Mr. Krabs' face, and unloaded several shots into it, distracting him long enough to wrench himself of Krabs' grip!
Robotnik rushed farther away, unloading a massive volley of shots onto Mr. Krabs, but he kept coming as if they didn't even faze him! He just absorbed them like they had no effect!
"FOOL!" Mr. Krabs picked up a massive rock from the ocean floor and tossed it at Robotnik!
"I SPENT TEN YEARRRS IN THE BIKINI BOTTOM MILITARY GETTIN' MY SHELL BASHED EVERY DAY! THAT PEA SHOOTER WON'T WORK ON MEEEEE!"
Robotnik quickly charged up a charge shot on the Robotnik Buster, and fired at the massive rock, blowing it to smithereenies!
"PEA SHOOTER?" Robotnik retorted. "HAHAHA! TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE THEN, YOU OVERGROWN SEAFOOD DINNER!"
He pressed a button on the Robotnik Buster, and it suddenly began shifting in size, taking itself apart and putting itself back together into an even bigger model of itself!
"INTRODUCING THE ROBOTNIK BUSTER VERSION ONE! POINT! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"
Robotnik immediately began firing massive bursts of energy at Mr. Krabs, each one the size of a normal charge shot! Mr. Krabs steeled himself for the onslaught, grabbed a nearby sunken ship, quickly shredded it into tossable pieces, and began throwing them all at the energy bursts!
"IT ONLY! FIRES! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGED SSSSHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS!" Robotnik screamed loudly!
More and more energy blasts came at Mr. Krabs as Robotnik darted around him to strafe him from all angles! Mr. Krabs kept tossing debris at the shots to dissipate them, but he couldn't keep them away from all directions, and one smacked him directly in the forehead, knocking him down momentarily!
"RAAAAAAR!" Mr. Krabs stood up after a moment, roaring in anger!
"GET OVER HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A REAAAAAALLLL MAAAAA-"
He was abruptly cut off by Robotnik belting him in the back of the head repeatedly until he fell over!
"HAHAHA!" Robotnik gloated-
"I'M! NOT! DONE! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!"
Mr. Krabs charged at Robotnik, uppercutting him into the high water! He had the wind knocked out of him momentarily, but he quickly came back to his senses to see Krabs rocketing towards him!
Thinking quickly, he fired a large amount of shots at Mr. Krabs, then fired one behind him to propel him back forward!
Mr. Krabs slashed and pinched with his claws repeatedly, shredding all the charged shots to nothing more than energy paste! He opened his mouth to swallow the biggest one, and belched loudly enough to make the entire ocean vibrate!
Robotnik charged downward with his fist extended, the Robotnik Buster 1.5 vibrating quickly as it glowed green!
Mr. Krabs readied his claws as he approached Robotnik with the speed of an orca that had smelled blood!
Their fists collided with such force that a ripple was sent through the water all around them!
"I'LL LOOT YEERRRRRR COOOORRRRRPPPPSSEEE!"
Mr. Krabs swiped with a claw, but Robotnik blocked it and landed a whirling haymaker to Krabs' face!
"SORRY, I DON'T HAVE LIFE INSURANCE!"
Robotnik kicked Krabs in the crotch but that sent a massive pain through his leg due to how hard Krabs' shell was, stunning him for a moment! Krabs saw his chance and punched Robotnik directly in the manboob!
"THAT LINE DOESN'T MAKE ANY SEEEEEENNNNSE!"
Mr. Krabs punched Robotnik again, but Robotnik flipped around and kicked Krabs in the mouth! Krabs and Robotnik punched and kicked each other so fast that their limbs began to blur!
Neither of them were letting up, and they kept getting faster and faster!
Robotnik saw his chance, kicked off of Krabs to get a safe distance and fired the massive amount of charged energy he'd been saving up since five minutes ago!
"HEY KRABS, IT'S TIME YOU MADE LIKE A KRABBY PATTY..."
Mr. Krabs saw the massive beam of blue energy heading towards him, and his eyes widened in fear!
"AND GRILL!"
The massive beam struck Mr. Krabs full force, propelling him downwards at instant terminal velocity towards the ocean floor, where he landed at full force!
Robotnik waited for a few minutes to see if he was going to get up with a second wind, but it looked like Mr. Krabs was down for the count!
Listening Music: Spongebob: Battle For Bikini Bottom- Spongebob's Dream
watch?v=mSzjxulx1cE
Splash Woman came back, riding on Drago, both of them thankfully unharmed!
"Well now, that was quite a scuffle, wasn't it?" Splash Woman smirked.
"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!" Robotnik scoffed. "ALL YOU WERE DOING WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM A MISSILE!"
"Oh, I was so helpless and unable to help, having an incendiary device feet from me!" Splash Woman rolled her eyes sarcastically with a ridiculous tone of voice. "Get on, hotshot. We have work to do." She patted Drago's back, with a slightly flirtatious tone to her voice.
Robotnik hopped on! "HEH, I WONDER HOW MUCH MONEY WE'LL GET FOR TAKING DOWN URSULA AND KEEPING THE OCEAN SAFE-"
Loud footsteps were heard, as an extremely loud voice emanating from a red creature fast approaching rang throughout the water!
"What the hell is-"
"I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT MOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEYYYYYH!"
Mr. Krabs skidded to a halt in front of the trio, salivating visibly despite the fact that he was underwater.
"So, money? Where's the money?"
"UHHH, I MENTIONED THAT THERE MIGHT BE A REWARD FOR TAKING DOWN URSULA-"
"CAN I JOIN YOUR TEAM?!" Mr. Krabs got on the ground and groveled. "PULEEEZE?! I NEED TO GET DENTAL INSURANCE!"
Mr Krabs pulled open his jaw to reveal several rotten teeth. Both Robotnik and Splash Woman recoiled in disgust.
Splash Woman frowned. "Seriously, why would we want to-" Robotnik instantly stepped in front of her. "OF COURSE! WE COULD ALWAYS USE AN EXTRA PAIR OF FISTS- I MEAN CLAWS!" He winked at Splash Woman. She grinned, presumably getting the message.
"Oh, yes! You could share the reward from taking down Ursula!" Splash Woman winked back.
"HARHARHARHARHAR!" Mr. Krabs got on top of Drago (not in a sexual sense god no), behind Robotnik!
"AVAST ME MATEYS! LET US GO AND PLUNDER URSULA'S BOOTY!"
Robotnik and Splash Woman looked at each other uneasily, but Splash Woman turned around and ignored Krabs raving in the back!
"I know we're awfully heavy, but can you please try to get to Ursula's lair anyway? Please, Mr. Drago-Cutie-Pie?"
Drago lifted himself off the ocean floor, roared loudly as massive turbines appeared from his wings, and sped off, with Robotnik and Krabs barely hanging on!
"CAN'T YOU SLOW THIS THING DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNN?!"
Robotnik yelled, his voice echoing around randomly.
Listening Music: watch?v=kEKkrqZVhkA
Kingdom Hearts II- Riku's Theme
"Hmph. He betrayed me, did he?" Ursula turned around, fuming. "I should have known he would have defected at the slightest offer."
Ursula grinned evilly. "BAH! I have other means of stopping these fools." She turned to a large door behind her and called out to an unseen presence.
"HEY, BIG BOY! GET OUT HERE, MOMMY NEEDS YOU TO EAT SOME INTERLOPERS!"
"But fish are friends, not food-"
"THEY'RE HUMANS, IDIOT!"
"Oh. Well, in that case… IIIIIIT'S CHOMPING TIME!"
WILL ROBOTNIK TRIUMPH OVER URSULA'S NEW MYSTERIOUS MINION?
WILL MR. KRABS EVER GET A DENTAL CLEANING?
MOST IMPORTANTLY, WILL ANYONE GET MY CRAPPY ATTEMPT AT FORESHADOWING?!
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK FACES THE JAWS OF DEATH!"