When Lexa woke the next morning, Clarke had moved her chair to the end of the bed and was looking from Lexa to her drawing pad and back; her left hand making broad strokes with a piece of charcoal. When she saw Lexa was awake, she smiled, placed the drawing pad on the chair and walked to sit on the bed next to her. "Sorry, I just had to record the way the morning sun caught your beauty." She looked down as she wiped her charcoal-covered hands on her pants.
Lexa placed her left hand on Clarke's. When Clarke looked at her, she smiled, "I can't wait to see the finished product."
"Well, you're going to have to wait until tomorrow, because both you and the sun have moved positions." She rose and moved the chair back to the wall, sat back down next to Lexa, and placed the back of her hand on Lexa's forehead and frowned. "Your fever has gone down a little, but it hasn't quite broken." She helped Lexa take a sip from the purple vial Abby left them, and opened the tin for Lexa to apply the paste to her wound. But when she turned to hold out the tin, Lexa had already lifted her shirt to reveal the long row of stitches outlined in red, inflamed skin. Lexa didn't say anything, but simply smiled and nodded, encouraging Clarke to apply the paste herself.
Clarke swiped her index and middle finger through the brown paste and rubbed it on Lexa's wound as gently as she could. When she felt Lexa tense beneath her touch, Clarke pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"
"You could never hurt me, Clarke." Lexa clasped Clarke's wrist, led her hand back to the wound and assisted in finishing the application. "It stings at first, but it does help dull the pain." Clarke closed the tin and replaced it on the table. Lexa looked at the sheer curtains over the window. "When is Titus getting here?"
Less than thrilled to be reminded of his impending arrival, Clarke rose and started folding the blankets on her chair, "he should be here just before dinner tonight. Octavia is sneaking him in through the tunnels and a loose wall panel, the way I snuck in a few weeks ago to try and talk sense into Bellamy. Which I failed miserably at."
Lexa struggled, but succeeded in pulling herself up into a seated position. "He'll come around, Clarke. If he's the man you say he is, he'll see that Pike's leadership is damaging your people."
Acting as though she hadn't heard Lexa, Clarke dropped the last blanket on the chair, turned and smiled, "well, I'm starving, do you want me to bring you a bowl of creamed corn?"
Not wanting to press Clarke more, Lexa nodded, "sure, sounds great."
"Great, I'll be back soon." Clarke left the room quickly.
The rest of the day went by like all the others: Clarke teaching Lexa how to play chess. She caught on fast, Clarke knew she would. She was the Commander, after all, battle strategy was what she did best.
As the sun started to fade, the familiar rhythmic knock came from the other side of the door. When Clarke opened it, Octavia stepped aside to reveal Titus, smiling and holding a large sack. "Please, come in," Clarke muttered as Titus all but shoved his way past her.
"Heda, you still look ill," Titus rushed to the bedside. "I have brought the medicine Nyko always used for those who suffered at the hands of the Mountain Men."
"I hope you brought enough for three," Clarke said as she closed the door.
"Yes, yes. Octavia told me about your precautions," Titus retorted. "But I also brought an assortment of food for the Commander to enjoy; I can't imagine you're getting much variety, with the Sky People unable to go out and hunt." He said this last comment looking over his shoulder at Clarke.
"She can't have anything too rich," Clarke shot back. But Lexa was already chewing on the roasted leg of some small mammal.
When they had finished eating, Titus opened a small sack that had been tied under the rope around his waist. He removed three small corked vials containing a milky liquid. "Three doses, as promised." He grinned and handed one to each woman, keeping the third for himself. "Now, this blend is potent and meant to not only heal, but to also help with rest. So I am going to make myself a bed here on the floor." He removed two large blankets from the sack he had brought with him and laid them out on the floor at the foot of the bed. With that, the three of them drank the entire contents of their vials and waited.
It didn't take long before Lexa was sleeping, appearing more peaceful than she had since arriving. Clarke smiled at her, sat down in her chair and covered herself with her blankets. Before she fell asleep, she looked over to where Titus was laying. His breathing was slow and even. Satisfied with the safety and effectiveness of the Grounder medicine, Clarke allowed herself to slip into dreamless sleep.
When Clarke woke the next morning, Titus was rolling up his bedding. She looked to the bed, where Lexa laid with her head in the crook of her left elbow, still sleeping peacefully. Quietly, Clarke walked over and placed the back of her hand on Lexa's forehead once more. "Her fever's broken, Nyko's medicine worked."
"As I assured you it would," said Titus proudly as he stuffed his bedding back into the sack.
"I'll go get her breakfast." Clarke was smiling as she closed the door behind her.
"What have you done?" Lexa was sitting up, looking at the black blood on her hand.
"Good morning..."
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Lexa's voice filled Clarke's small chambers with fury. She grabbed the knife Clarke had stashed under her mattress and ran at Titus, pinning him against the wall on the other side of the room. Lexa held the knife to his throat, just breaking the skin, so blood trickled down his neck.
"Your emotions and feelings for Clarke were making you weak, Lexa. You were making decisions based on your heart, not your head; you have lost the strength to rule the twelve clans."
"There are thirteen clans now!" Lexa hissed as she applied more pressure to the knife.
"That is a decision you made with your heart. Look where it has gotten you."
"I am here because of you!" Lexa hissed. She punched him with the deer antler handle of the knife, knocking him to the floor. This action, however, caused her stitches to break and she began to bleed.
"You would not be here if you had been ruling with the strength you once had." Titus kept his voice even. "Clarke was costing you that strength; I was trying to eliminate your weakness."
"If I have shown any weakness, it is because of you, Titus." Even though the pain was unbearable, Lexa knelt on one knee beside Titus, pointing the knife at him with her right hand while applying pressure to her abdomen with her left. "Your constant insubordination and questioning of my authority in front of the leaders of the Clans is what made me appear weak."
Just then Clarke entered with a platter of food. When she saw the scene before her, and saw Lexa bleeding, the tray crashed to the floor as she rushed to help Lexa. "What the hell happened?"
Lexa pushed Clarke away, leaving a black handprint on her chest. Keeping her knife and eyes pointed at Titus, Lexa pulled her hair over her shoulder to reveal a gash separating the two sides of her infinity tattoo. "He removed the spirit of the Commander."
"What are you talking about? Lexa, your wound has reopened. Please, you need to stop!" Once more, Clarke reached for Lexa. This time, Lexa held her hand up to stop Clarke in her tracks.
"Not until he is subdued. Remove the rope around his waist and tie his hands to the bedpost," Lexa demanded, pointing the knife from Titus to the metal pole on the corner of the bed.
Quickly, Clarke did as she was told. When she had finished, but before she stepped away, Titus whispered so only the two of them could hear, "this is your fault, Wanheda."
Clarke grabbed one of the now empty metal cups from the floor and struck him across the back of the head, knocking him unconscious.
"Lexa!" Clarke rushed over and caught Lexa as she was attempting to get up. After sitting Lexa in her chair, Clarke rushed to the door. "Miller, go tell my mom that Lexa's stitches have ripped open and she is bleeding again. Hurry!" Hesitating for only a moment to process the orders, Miller turned and walked hurriedly toward the infirmary; he didn't dare run, for fear of drawing attention and questions.
Clarke closed the bedroom door and rushed to rip the hood from Titus's robe. She knelt in front of Lexa and applied pressure to her wound.
"He took the spirit. I can't feel the previous Commanders anymore." Lexa was limp and sweaty, shaking her head slowly with a look of agony on her face. Agony from the knowledge that she was no longer the Commander.
Before Clarke could ask any more questions, Abby burst into the room. Barely pausing when she saw Titus tied up, she rushed to kneel next to Clarke. "Damnit! Lexa hold that blanket to your mouth, this is going to hurt." When she pulled the small cautery laser from her bag, Clarke moved aside and grabbed Lexa's free hand. As soon as she removed the wadded-up hood from the wound, Abby shot the laser into it. The only sounds heard were Lexa's muffled moans and the popping and sizzling of her burning flesh. "I wanted to avoid cauterizing the wound completely shut, because there is a better chance of infection," Abby said disappointedly as she leaned back on her heels and looked at the crude weld she had managed to perform on Lexa's skin. "What the hell happened here?!" Having passed out from the pain, Lexa's head lay limp on the back of the chair, revealing the incision on her neck.
"I'm not totally sure." Clarke looked at her mother in with confusion and worry, never letting go of Lexa's hands.
"Well, luckily it's not too deep, so I should be able to suture it. But you need to make sure she stays in bed, Clarke." Abby made quick work of stitching the infinity sign back together. "She's going to require antibiotic injections now, and I don't have many to spare. I can maybe manage to get you half of what she needs. The rest is going to be up to her body's own ability to fight." Abby rose and started packing her medical kit.
"If there's one thing Lexa knows how to do, it's fight." Tears running down her face, Clarke looked at Lexa and kissed her hands.
"I'll be back later today with the injections and more paste." Abby leaned down, kissed the top of Clarke's head and left.
As Abby closed the door, Titus moaned awake.
Clarke grabbed the knife Lexa had dropped, slid on her knees over to Titus and held the point at the hollow of his throat. "What did you do to her?" Tears were still falling, but Clarke's voice was low and unwavering.
"Lexa had become too weak, so I removed the spirit of the Commander." Titus met Clarke's gaze.
"What do you mean you removed her spirit?" Lexa looked at Titus with disgusted confusion.
"I can show you if you will untie me."
Slowly, and never removing her eyes from his, Clarke cut through the rope and released Titus's hands. With one hand raised, he reached into the small sack that had held the vials and removed a rectangular tin box. Inside was what appeared to be an oddly shaped opaque stone, no bigger than a beetle. "This is the spirit of the Commander. Lexa is no longer worthy to carry it. It shall choose the next Heda."
"You cut that out of me, not knowing if I would survive." Lexa was awake but still slumped in the chair, a look of disdain on her face.
"While I accepted your death as a possibility, I knew that the first passing of the spirit took place while the original Commander was still living. I was confident the same would happen to you." Titus rose and took a step toward Lexa. Clarke quickly halted him by knocking him back to his knees and holding the knife to his throat once more.
"Clarke, don't," Lexa said, hoarsely. "He needs to live to in order to complete the ritual and advise the next Commander.
"Why doesn't he just put it back in you?"
Lexa looked directly at Titus, "he's already prepared the Conclave. They all think I am dead."
Titus looked at the ground. "The spirit of the Commander needs to inhabit someone who will not let their weakness show."
"Let him go, Clarke. If being with you is weakness, then I no longer desire strength." Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes. Finally, Clarke saw the love there she hadn't seen since Lexa returned from the brink of death. Lexa held out her hand, drawing Clarke near and whispered, "Aden will not move against Skaikru, Clarke. He vowed fealty to you."
Clarke opened the door to find Octavia now standing guard. "Take Titus back to Polis, Octavia. Now." Seeing the heat in Clarke's eyes, Octavia didn't ask any questions, but attentively escorted Titus away. After closing the door, Clarke leaned with her back against it for a while, looking at Lexa.
Lexa simply smiled, "it's my someday, Clarke."
Finally realizing that they were free to be together, Clarke rushed over, knelt in front of Lexa and kissed her. When they separated, they were both crying. But they were also smiling. Carefully, using strength she didn't know she had, Clarke lifted Lexa from the chair and placed her in the bed.
As Clarke covered Lexa with the final blanket, and turned toward the chair, Lexa grabbed her wrist. "Not there." She reached over and pulled the blankets down on the other side of the bed. Smiling, Clarke gladly laid down beside her.
"What now?" Clarke asked, as she pulled Lexa in close.
"I can't stay here forever, it's too much of a risk. As soon as I am well enough I will leave. "
"Where will you go?"
"Well, you survived out there, after banishing yourself." Lexa didn't dare mention the circumstance that caused Clarke to make that decision.
Frowning, Clarke propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at Lexa. "Will I ever see you again?"
"We'll figure something out, Clarke. You're not getting rid of me that easy." Lexa reached up and pulled Clarke's face down, embracing Clarke's lips with her own.
Feeling less than satisfied, but also knowing it was the only option, Clarke turned on her side, so the two were facing the same direction, and matched the shape of her body to fit in perfectly behind Lexa's. When she placed her hand on Lexa's hip, Lexa's own hand followed and, automatically, their fingers laced together.
They laid against each other into the early morning hours, planning ways to make their life more than just surviving.