A/N: The third of February. That was the last time we updated. Holy shit. 116 days. 3 months, 27 days. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I want to say so much has happened, but god, it hasn't. We just...stopped writing. I've written two fics since then. The other will be posted soon (2 days max). I just...college, and ... I'm making excuses. But we're back (we think). And I say 'we' very loosely because Claire doesn't even know I've written this. She's playing Sims in front of me. Whatever. We constantly say we feel bad and never do anything about it. Anyway. Not dead, which is a plus. Just lazy. YAY SEASON 5 :D

This chapter is inspired by P!nk's beautiful, gorgeous song 'Just Give Me A Reason', which I am in love with and which has been on repeat for the last 5 hours.

Rating: PG (mild swearing)

We're not broken, just bent…

Kurt stared, eyes watery with unshed tears, at the crossroads in front of him.

Never before had he ever faced a problem so demanding. Conflicting. It ripped at every part of his body that felt something, tearing at his heart, his lungs, his stomach. His mind.

His mind…

It in particular was filled with insecurity and doubt, ready to jump ship at any moment and let his heart deal with it.

His heart… well, all that wanted was Blaine. So eager, and ready to forgive him so easily and quickly right from the start, because Blaine was the first person to make him feel safe. Who really understood him, and took him for everything he was and would ever be. Staring at him with those beautiful hazel eyes, caressing his sides with the barest of pressure just to let Kurt know he was still there – still his support pillar.

Kurt needed that.

There was no denying it. As much as he seemed independent, he needed that pillar of love and trust to guide him, and appreciate him, and help him make the right choices. Student President…NYADA…Tony…Blaine had been there for all of them, had helped him.

His mind was still betrayed though.

Maybe he watched too much TV – sat through too many musicals, but he needed Blaine to do something, a grand gesture of love that suddenly made everything okay again. In the back of his mind, Kurt knew it wouldn't happen like that.

Blaine had done all he could, and it was up to Kurt now.

New York was always beautiful when it rained.

It was cold, and miserable, and that's what Kurt loved about it. There was a slight decrease in the population – people had decided to take cabs, the train, or other means of transport, which meant Kurt wasn't fighting for a place on the pavement.

He didn't have an umbrella – it wasn't raining that hard. Just a hoodie, his satchel, warm jeans and his Doc Martens. It suited his mood perfectly. The buildings were brilliantly grey, barely standing out against the clouds that hung over the city.

Blaine's plane would be landing in fifteen minutes.

They were meeting at Kurt's favourite coffee shop – a cosy little building where the service was friendly and Kurt felt welcome. Blaine would meet him there, and they were going to talk.

Kurt didn't care how long it took, but it needed to happen. They hadn't talked properly since the break-up, just a few apologies scattered here and there, some deep texting that got them nowhere, and the Valentine's Day fiasco.

Kurt never meant to put him down like that – the whole 'bros helping bros', and he watched Blaine's heart shatter when he said it. He didn't mean it. It just happened – the panic of trying to rationalise what was happening was too much for his brain.

So it came up with 'casual sex'. And he was supposed to be a performer.

Kurt heaved a sigh, his clothes and hair slightly damp from the rain as he stepped into his coffee shop. A few staff members gave him a wave, and he nodded back, not bothering to order as he found a booth next to the windows.

Just landed. Grabbing my luggage, will be there soon. Can't wait to see you xx. – B

The text made Kurt smile. Blaine was a sweetheart, and the 'kisses' at the end were adorable. Like Blaine.

Ten minutes of watching the rain later, a soggy Blaine Anderson stepped through the double doors, looking around the room before spotting Kurt and wheeling his luggage over.

"Hi." He grinned, his teeth gleaming. Kurt couldn't help his own smile.

"Hey. Take a seat, I'll order." He said quickly, smiling. "Same drink as always."

Blaine's mouth quirked up in that familiar smile, making butterflies erupt in Kurt's stomach, bubbling up into his throat as he swelled with affection. "As always."

Kurt turned around, trying to keep himself composed as he headed to the counter. He ordered their regulars, making small-talk with the barista. She seemed curious about Blaine, silently pleading with her eyes for Kurt to give over the information, but Kurt couldn't even fathom an explanation. Once the drinks were ready, he took them over, putting Blaine's near his hand before sitting down with an intake of breath.

"I want you back."

Fuck.

Kurt had a whole speech planned out but apparently his brain went into panic mode again. His eyes widened, his mouth going agape as he tried to recover, eyes searching Blaine's for a reaction of some sort.

Blaine had blinked, as if he hadn't even heard Kurt. Then he blinked a few more times as the phrase repeated in his head, and suddenly he realised that yes, Kurt had actually said it, because an impossibly wide smile spread across his face, eyes brightening.

"What?" he asked, squeezing his coffee cup as he tried to take control of his face again.

"I…" Kurt squeezed his eyes shut in shame. "I mean. I…I would like to…try us again." He said quietly. "I don't…I mean, I…" Eloquent, as always. "I hate being without you." He said in a rush, making sure to get it all out. "I hate waking up and not having an excuse to text you. I hate not knowing what you're doing at any time in the day. I…I hate…I hate not…"

"Having you as my boyfriend." Blaine summed up quietly, his hand fighting to stay around his cup, and not moving forward to touch Kurt in some way.

Kurt nodded lamely, staring down at his own drink. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry that I ignored you, and hated you for so long. I'm sorry it took so long for me to-"

"Shh." Blaine whispered, his hand tentatively moving forward, laying palm-up on the table – a cautious invitation. "I was every bit deserving. You had every right."

Kurt took it, laying his pale hand in Blaine's, eyes watering slightly as Blaine interlaced their fingers, his thumb gently stroking over Kurt's.

"I never stopped loving you." Kurt whispered, staring at their hands. "That was the worst part. I couldn't….hate you. Couldn't let you go. You mean so much to me."

Blaine listened to him, nothing but love and adoration in his eyes as he gently squeezed Kurt's hand. He was always the one to talk lately – professing his undying love, trying so hard to make Kurt forgive him and throwing his every being into being the perfect person again. He desperately tried to make up for his mistake, but if Kurt wasn't taking it, there was little he could do.

And now Kurt was, and Blaine couldn't be happier.

"I love you." Blaine said quietly, a soft, warm smile on his lips, and Kurt glanced up at him, taking in a deep breath, before returning it.

"I love you too."