CHAPTER 20, WOW. NOT A BIG MILE STONE FOR MANY BUT THIS IS MY FIRST FIC... I CANT BELIEVE SO MANY OF YOU LIKE THIS STORY. LIKE I SAID BEFORE I STILL LOVE THIS BUT UPDATES ARE GOING TO HAVE TO COME LESS FREQUENTLY. HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER ITS A LITTLE SHORT. TH NEXT MAYBE 5-10 CHAPTERS WILL BE SHORT CUTS IN TIME UNTIL WE GET TO THE FUN PART HEHE

I felt awful I've been angry this whole time and didn't even realize it was because of the obvious. Lissa was on the floor leaning against the bath tub. I felt awful how I could let myself forget about her. She was looked dazed and beyond upset. A small blade lay on the floor next to her and both of her arms had bloody slashes on them.

I dropped on my knees and sat next to her. "Lissa, Look at me, why did you do this. Why am I absorbing so much darkness?" She looked at me horrified.

"You said you would stop doing that, it might hurt your baby."

"I didn't know I was, but you still didn't tell me why you using so much spirit." I could tell she felt guilty. Nothing but hopelessness was coming through the bond but I could tell by the look on her face she felt bad.

"I promise I-I'll stop." I felt like the worst guardian of best friend someone could ever have.

"Why were you doing it?" I reached up and grabbed a towel. It was a little damp already so I held Lissa's arm and blotted the blood off of them. I knew Dimitri had being watching from the doorway. It was too small for all three of us and this was something a normal guardian would have no training in. I threw the blood soaked towel at Dimitri and he nodded his head in understanding.

"Christian" Lissa said his name so quietly I thought I was maybe hearing things. "He's been so upset about Tasha's trial and I've been trying to us compulsion to make him happier, but it's not working. I'm sorry I was being selfish I didn't realize I was making you so angry and…"

"No Lissa how is risking yourself for Christians happiness selfish, you didn't know I was taking the darkness. It's not your fault. You can't do this again." I was on the verge of losing it. I Lissa started to spiral again I don't think I could catch her this time. "Christian will be better soon, so will you and so will I." Trying to stop the desperation in my voice I took Lissa's hand and placed on my stomach. "In there is your future niece or nephew. They're going to need someone to go shopping with or moroi etiquette. You have to remember to do things for yourself every once in a while. Don't do this to yourself again please. Now let's go get you cleaned off and maybe we can doing something after that." I pulled Lissa in for a long hug and then help her to her feet. My shirt was covered in blood and the tile floor was a mess but I didn't care Lissa stopped crying and that was all that matter at the moment.

Dimitri came with a roll of bandages and some rubbing alcohol. I cleaned all of the cuts on Lissa's arms. "One more time Lissa, can you just fix your arms a little?"

"No, I don't want you to take anymore darkness. No more."

"Last time a little extra won't hurt me." She was apprehensive but slowly the slashes faded to small scars that where at first noticeable. I pulled her into a nice long hug. "Let's go out somewhere."

We went to a small ice cream shop where she avoided any upsetting topics, I forgot about my father, the trial, and all of the darkness just disappeared.

….

"…Guilty" I light out a huge sigh of relief. I felt all day and now I know Tasha is going to prison for at least fifty years. "For intentionally using fire magic to assault Guardian Rose Hathaway, Lady Tasha Ozera is to be stripped of her title and sentenced to a max sentence of sixty two years in prison with no parole. I was so relieved and oblivious I almost screamed when I felt someone wrap their arms around me.

Dimitri was smiling. "Everything is going to be fine now Roza." I hugged him and buried my face into his dust I felt tears welling up behind my eyes and I didn't want anyone to see them. "Oh Roza" He said some more things in Russian. My lawyer was my father, I could tell that was not the shady line of business he was in and it was just an excuse for him to come here. He didn't stay in our townhouse so I was fine with it now, I guess. I still resented him for never showing his face until now but better late than never. We all cleared out of the courthouse and for the first time in a while I went home to get a peaceful night a sleep.

…

When I woke up, I rolled out of bed, I felt huge and I was only half way through my pregnancy and barley showing. Dimitri and my mother wouldn't let me do more than walking down the street so I felt pretty useless. My bump was relatively small and only a little noticeable when I wore loose clothing. Lissa kept trying to take my shopping for maternity clothing but I didn't really want to yet. I think I'm still in denial about this whole thing. I put on my robe in a hopeless attempt to hide my belly. I went downstairs to get something to eat. I felt like I could clear a buffet table and still want seconds right now. I tried not to let my craving get the best of me but between hormones and the little bit of darkness that was always in the bond it was easier said than done. Hopefully I can make this doctor's appointment quick because I don't really want to be out anywhere today.

PLEASE REVIEW XOXO