A/N: So I started this last night and am now finished and extremely happy with it. I hope you are too. It's a bit of a long'un. :D
I'm starting a tumbling class, which is what inspired this. Also the fic Cirque de Joie by Sharmain, which I read about a hundred years ago about Kurt on the silks. So credit goes to her for the raw ingredients of this fic (also go read her fic it is amazing!) Also, forgive all of the parts that don't make sense if you actually do any of this stuff. I did as much research as I could but... *shrug*
Nightbird was finally something Blaine could be proud of.
At McKinley, his costume was ridiculed by most, but Blaine didn't care. Fuck the haters – he wore his superhero costume with pride. Never in a thousand years would he have thought that Nightbird was the reason he made a living.
His costume had changed over the years – it had become a skin tight suit that glittered black and blue, his cape so much shorter until he released his collar, and it spanned so he was able to wrap himself in it.
But Nightbird was no longer a superhero.
Nightbird was a circus performer.
Blaine had never felt better. He was multi-talented – he could work the silks, the trapeze, he could juggle and contort his body into interesting shapes, tumbling and flipping off high wires and into people.
Sometimes, when he got tossed, he would streamline his body and at his greatest height, he'd spread his wings. With his face turned to the circus top, he'd close his eyes and really feel like he was flying, until he released himself, his cape billowing about him as he free fell.
The moments of intense wind – of complete faith in the people who could catch him – were Blaine's favourites. He would keep his eyes closed, panic rising in his chest the closer the ground got, until the gentle hands caught him and he could put his feet on solid land again.
It was those moments where he knew he was where he belonged.
^.^
Kurt Hummel had been working in the industry since he was eight.
Like Blaine, he had delved into all departments of circus life, however he found he preferred the silks and the acrobatics.
The High Flyers were an elite group of silk dancers – performing complex and intricate routines high above the crowd. Kurt was one of four other males that performed together. In the final act, a single tear in the silk had caused Kurt to fall two storeys, the spotters unable to reach him in time. The silk had crushed him, and the fall had broken his left ankle and knee, an injury that stopped him from performing.
For two years, Kurt healed and went to physio therapy, strengthening the joints before he was allowed to even start training again. But Kurt was determined to return to his peak physical condition and return to the silks.
Without a job, Kurt had turned to the circus – somewhere he could start out small and ease himself into performing again.
This was where he found the circus.
And at the circus, Kurt found Blaine.
^.^
"Everyone, everyone, I want you all to welcome our newest member of our little family! His name is Kurt Hummel, and he's had more than fifteen years' experience in the industry. He'll be joining our silk dancers. Please show him around if he looks lost and help him out as much as possible!" Danny, the ringmaster, said with great extravagance, his voice booming to every corner of the big top.
Kurt swallowed hard.
He had somehow stumbled across the tightest-knit group of performers he had ever met. They stood in packs, eyeing him off with either judging or curious expressions.
"Uh. Hi." He smiled, giving a little wave.
The wave was returned by some, but the others just turned away. Kurt sighed, startled from having any deep thoughts by two identical girls.
"Hi there." One said.
"We're the contortionist twins." The other beamed prettily.
"We're here to show you where to go."
"And where not to go."
"I'm Kerri."
"And I'm Terri!"
Kurt raised an eyebrow, barely phased by their clever back-and-forth. "Seriously?"
Kerri raised her eyebrow back at him, a smirk on her lips. "Of course not." She rolled her eyes, chuckling. "I'm Anna, and this is Marsha."
"And you officially passed our test, so congratulations." Marsha smiled.
"Test?" he asked as the two girls lead him through the big top and outside to the rehearsal rooms.
"We wanted to know how much bullshit you'd put up with." Marsha explained with a smile. "I think you're going to fit in quite nicely, Kurt Hummel.'
Kurt chucked, shaking his head as they entered a large room with several silks hanging from the ceiling. A technician on a harness checked each one thoroughly, and Kurt eyed him carefully.
"Danny told us about what happened. Let me assure you, we've never had a problem, incident or accident."
Kurt nodded, not looking convinced. "Thanks."
"Well… let me introduce you to the team. This is Marcus – he's the choreographer. Blaine, Nathan and Shiloh are our main attraction at the moment, and as soon as you've learnt the routines, you'll be joining them."
Kurt nodded a little. "Thank you both…" he said softly, gazing up at the silks.
Blaine, Nathan and Shiloh introduced themselves, and Marcus started to talk to Kurt.
"Have you been up since the accident?" he asked with barely a formal introduction.
Kurt nodded. "Of course. I'm completely capable – my leg has completely healed."
Marcus nodded. "Good. All of you, I want you warm and up the silks in fifteen minutes."
Kurt immediately sprang into action, his heart leaping with excitement as he stripped down to his workout clothes, loosening up. In ten minutes, he was climbing, arms thrumming pleasantly from the strain on the muscles. He easily moved from silk to silk, throwing himself bodily and wrapping himself in them – once again feeling home.
Shiloh joined him first, giving him a friendly smile. "You're so graceful." She said happily. "You're going to look beautiful, and fit straight in with us."
"Thanks…" Kurt smiled, tucked into the folds and hanging upside-down.
"We do a lot of tossing to get up." Nathan explained, crawling up beside them. "Makes it more pleasing if we do a basket toss and then some lifts to get us up here."
Kurt nodded. "Yeah, definitely."
"You know, maybe Kurt should be the one we toss up first." Blaine said, a few meters below them. "I mean, because of his leg and everything…so he's not putting so much weight on it."
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I can toss. My leg is fine." He said, demonstrating with a split between silks, left leg out in front.
Blaine was about to reply when Marcus interrupted.
"Silence, kids. Ears open and listening!"
^.^
By the end of the day, Kurt's leg was actually aching, but he didn't tell anyone. He had pushed himself to enormous lengths, but Marcus was pleased with his work. It wasn't taking him long to pick up routines, and Shiloh and Nathan were friendly and eager to help him out.
Blaine, on the other hand…
He was hostile and unfriendly – not wanting to give any responsibility to Kurt. It made Kurt uneasy, but he tried to ignore it for the sake of the job.
Kurt accidentally got himself into a stupid habit of waking up well before anyone else and heading to rehearsal rooms. He harnessed himself up and hoisted himself to the tops of the silks, testing them for loose fabric and tears. It was stupid – there was probably nothing wrong, and the technicians did this themselves every day, a few hours later.
But Kurt needed to know.
The free fall – the utter terror as he fell, the ground getting closer and closer until he heard that sickening snap and the impact made him black out for a few seconds, before the heavy silk dropped on him and he was lost. It terrified him. He never wanted to fall like that again.
"What are you doing?"
It was the tenth day that Kurt had been at the big top – ten days of ruthless rehearsal. It was three in the morning, and Kurt was hanging from a harness, a small torch in his mouth as he scoured the seams.
He startled so much that the torch fell from his mouth, smacking loudly onto the safety pads below. Kurt winced, turning his eyes to Blaine – standing in the doorway in his workout gear. It was probably one of the first times Blaine had actually spoken to him willingly.
"Uh… just… checking…"
Blaine raised a suspicious eyebrow.
"For?"
Kurt let out a slow breath. "Imperfections."
"Rips?"
Kurt nodded, satisfied, before lowering himself to the ground and taking off the harness. "Getting in some extra practice?"
Blaine nodded, chewing his lip and debating whether to tell him it was because he couldn't sleep. "Do you do this every morning?"
Kurt considered lying, before he just nodded. "Yeah. Every morning."
"Oh. Are you still paranoid?"
"I snapped two of my joints. Wouldn't you be?" he asked defensively.
Blaine shrugged, powdering up his feet and hands.
"Have I…offended you?" Kurt asked shyly.
"What?"
"Ever since I got here, you've been treating me like I'm the plague."
Blaine huffed, yanking on a silk before starting the ascent. "It's nothing."
"It's something." Kurt called back, powdering quickly before following him up. "And I won't leave you alone until you tell me. Marcus wants us to work together in a routine, and chemistry is pretty hard to have when your co-performer is hostile."
Blaine frowned, disappearing for a few moments before reappearing in the silks. "This company has been touring for thirty three years. I've been with them for six. The last time we got new members was when I was recruited. There were seven of us in total. Six years, and we've never had a new person join our ranks."
Kurt swallowed hard. "Do I not live up to your expectations?" he asked.
"No." Blaine said, stopping halfway through a turn. "God no, you're amazing." He admitted. "But you're not one of us."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't trust you." He said bluntly. "You made a mistake. You fell, and if you hadn't had the complete dedication to healing, that could've been the end of your performing career."
Kurt was outraged. "There was a tear! How is that my fault?"
"You could've leapt to another silk."
"I was tangled." He defended himself. "I didn't expect to suddenly have the ground rushing at me!"
"Your inability to think in times of danger is what scares me the most." Blaine said, eyes narrowed. "If you could've taken a moment to think…"
Kurt glared at him. "So you think that because I had a moment of 'inability', I'm a danger to you?"
"Short answer? Yes." He said softly.
Kurt let out an exasperated sigh. "And how do I earn your trust?"
Blaine slid down the fabric, moving back to his workout gear. Kurt followed him, knowing he wasn't going to get an answer.
"Have a good morning." Blaine said, hoisting his bag back onto his shoulders and leaving the room.
^.^
From then on, Kurt was desperate to get on Blaine's good side. He brought him his favourite coffee each morning – spoke to him as much as Blaine would allow the conversation, and tried to convince the other man that he was trustworthy.
Blaine wasn't having any of it though, and soon enough, the time came when Marcus asked them to pair up. Shiloh and Nathan were already together – Kurt knew that he would be paired with Blaine. Blaine said nothing as they started their routine – a complete professional in his actions.
"Oh my god, stop." Marcus called. "Blaine, Kurt, you guys look shit up there. Could you maybe smile at each other? Actually act as if you're in love. I need you to feel it! Try again!"
Kurt sighed, starting the routine again, trying to force himself to feel love for Blaine.
"Oh god, that was worse. Okay, boys, down here. Now."
Blaine practically threw himself at the ground, catching himself at the last moment. Kurt preferred the more cautious route, skilfully sliding down the fabrics.
"I want you to go outside and sit on top of the pretty hill and talk about your feelings." He said in a cutesy voice, eyes narrowed. "And don't come out until you're friends."
^.^
They had done as they were told – sitting on a bench on top of the hill overlooking the big top, but neither of them were talking.
Kurt was angry. He just wanted to do well. Just wanted to perform in front of an audience again and make them all happy. As of Blaine's request, Kurt hadn't tossed anyone, nor had caught anyone with the other two with him.
"It's been two months, and my inability hasn't caused damage." Kurt started slowly. "Even when Shiloh overshot, she didn't get hurt. I got out of her way and let her recover – didn't cause an accident. I talked to Nathan and he told me that I was exactly right." He said softly. "Shouldn't that be enough to earn your trust?"
Blaine sighed. To be perfectly honest, of course he trusted Kurt. He was amazing and had so much strength up on the silks. Now it was just a case of Blaine being too stubborn to let anyone into his circle of friends, regardless of the fact that Kurt was been completely accepted and loved by everyone else.
He took in a deep breath.
"Toss me."
^.^
Blaine started at a sprint, launching into somersaults and back handsprings, before curling into a ball and launching himself at Kurt's ready stance.
With complete precision, Kurt's hands caught his feet, and Blaine, using the momentum, opened out and rocketed towards the ceiling. Kurt was immediately up the silks as he flew, and together they chased each other about, hiding in silks and dancing up and down the lines.
As the music stopped, they met in the middle, faces so close, bodies strained to hold their positions.
"And… kiss…" Marcus called, and Kurt's eyes widened a little.
He didn't have time to consider the request, before Blaine's lips were on his for a slow, languid kiss.
"Beautiful. That's exactly what I want on the night. You boys are amazing." Marcus called, his voice missing any actual tonal quality that came with the praise.
Blaine pulled back slowly, a small smile on his face. It had been a week since their talk on the hill, and now that Blaine was starting to trust the other man, they had become fast friends.
"That was pretty cool." Blaine admitted, making a ledge for himself in the silks and laying back.
Kurt nodded, lips tingling from their kiss.
Blaine gave a little sigh, biting his lip as he stared at Kurt. Now that he'd finally given in to himself, he quickly realised that there was another reason he didn't want Kurt.
Kurt was too tempting.
It's not as if Blaine had been emotionally scarred from a past relationship. He wasn't scared of falling in love.
He could never be scared of falling.
But falling for Kurt was something else. Because Blaine was going to fall hard and fast, and he hoped to god that Kurt would catch him again and again.
^.^
Opening Night came far more quickly than Kurt was ready for. His leg no longer ached after rehearsals, but he was absolutely terrified of failing. Of having the entire audience watch him fall again. He stood in the back room, listening to the crowd cheer for Shiloh and Nathan.
"Relax." Two hands found their way to Kurt's shoulders, and somehow Blaine was impossibly close to him, whispering in his ear. "We're going to be amazing."
A small shiver ran through Kurt's body and he smiled a little.
"Will you catch me?"
"Always." He breathed, hands trailing down his spine in the skin-tight costume.
Kurt shivered again, turning so he could raise an eyebrow, questioning Blaine's behaviour. Blaine said nothing, staring through the gap in the curtain.
"A lot of your old fans are here." Blaine said softly.
"What?"
"Danny advertised with your name on the cover of the posters. When everyone heard you were back and performing, we got a whole influx of extra people. They have to be fans of the High Flyers."
Kurt gave a nervous little sigh. "Oh god."
Blaine winced. "Sorry. That was supposed to make you feel better."
Kurt didn't respond, powdering his hands for the twentieth time that night.
Blaine smiled, shaking his head fondly as Danny read out the next performance, and they slipped into place.
Nerves were nothing compared to the adrenaline that coursed through Kurt. Their performance went off without a hitch – everything was perfect – and the applause was so loud that it made Kurt's ears sting. He was so elated that he couldn't even react to the kiss he shared with Blaine.
They took their bows, more applause thundering around them, before they finally took their leave of the ring. Kurt beamed at Blaine, wanting to explode but waiting until they got outside.
"Blaine!" he cried. "That was amazing! Did you see us? That was so good! They loved it!"
Blaine laughed, watching him. Kurt realised he was gushing and forced himself to stop, the grin on his face never leaving.
"Sorry, you probably do this all the time…"
"It's never unsatisfying though." He beamed. "We were good."
Kurt nodded excitedly. "I don't think I could ever get tired of it."
Blaine grinned, smiling fondly at Kurt.
"What…?" he asked when he caught him staring.
"You're just adorable." He said with a smile, before turning around and heading to his trailer.
Kurt stood in shock, eyes wide. His heart beat in his chest too loudly for him to think, going over what Blaine just said. When he finally went to question it, Blaine had gone inside. He bit his lip, forgetting about it as the performance came back to him
^.^
The afterparty was full of excited, proud performers, and they all had the times of their life for a successful first night.
That night, Kurt lay in his small bed, gazing up at the sunroof, watching the stars. He reflected on the day, when suddenly Blaine's words came back to him.
"You're just adorable."
Kurt's throat went dry. Of course, he found Blaine attractive, but it had been professional. They were co-workers, and Kurt wasn't allowed to have feelings.
But what if Blaine had feelings for him?
Or was he just overthinking it?
Damnit. Now Kurt was thinking about him too much. His beautiful hair. Enchanting eyes. His lithe little body in Kurt's hands.
But what if Blaine was just being affectionate? What if it didn't mean anything and Kurt was getting the wrong idea…
Damnit.
^.^
The next few shows passed quickly, and Kurt found himself always trying to decipher Blaine's behaviour.
Ever since their first kiss, Blaine had been more flirty and cute around Kurt, and in turn Kurt reacted, trying hard not to seem too eager.
It was a dance all too similar to their performance, and the other performers were sick of it.
"You like Blaine, right?" Shiloh asked one day, and Kurt almost lost his grip on the silks. They were playing around while Marcus was trying to choreograph another routine.
"What?"
"Don't 'what' me, Hummel, and don't deny it either. You guys are so in love it isn't funny."
Kurt bit his lip. "It's not like that, Shi." He said.
"To you, maybe, but Blaine looks at you with hearts in his eyes."
Kurt blushed. "Shiloh…"
"She's right!" Marcus called up, a knowing grin on his face. "I thought it was just the performing at first, but that boy…" he shook his head and Kurt blushed deeper.
"And you like him just as much." Shiloh continued.
"What are you, matchmaker?" he asked, defensive.
She laughed, hanging upside-down. "You're cute when you're defending your crush." She beamed. "At least you get to kiss him all the time."
Kurt bit his lip. He had to admit, their shared kiss at the end of each performance grew longer and more heated by the performance.
"Yeah." She giggled, watching the flashback in his eyes. "Just saying. You two are pretty hot together." She said, quickly sliding down and away from him.
Kurt sighed.
He never imagined joining the circus would be this complicated.
^.^
"I want you to come rehearse with me." Blaine said a few days later.
Mindful of the conversations he'd had with pretty much everyone in the circus, Kurt nodded. "Yeah, of course. What's up?"
"Nothing. Just want to try out some new stuff." Blaine smiled easily.
He waited as Kurt got changed into loose clothing, before they headed to the rehearsal space.
"So…?" Kurt asked, stretching and powdering.
"I want to toss you."
Kurt nodded. "Yep."
"And catch you."
"Nope."
Blaine raised an eyebrow.
"You can toss me as much as you like, but I'm not coming back down."
Blaine laughed. "I'll catch you, I promise."
Kurt shook his head.
"Now who has trust issues?" Blaine joked, smiling a little. He knew this would happen.
"It's not that…" he said softly.
"Then what is it?"
Kurt sighed. "Falling. I can't do it.'
"Yeah you can." Blaine replied immediately. "You just think you can't."
"Blaine…" Kurt murmured. "Please…"
"No, no…don't do that. Come on, we'll take it slow. Come up the silks with me." He said, already climbing.
Kurt sighed worriedly, taking another and climbing up.
When they reached the top, Blaine smiled. "Alright, now…just…let go. Keep one hand on the silk, just in case, but let yourself fall…"
Kurt shook his head, giving the fabric a death grip.
"Please….?" Blaine asked softly, demonstrating and falling halfway down, using the momentum to swing up and climb back to him.
"Blaine, seriously. I can't do it!"
"What if I fell with you?" he asked, but Kurt shook his head. "Please?"
Kurt sighed. He looked so earnest – he just wanted to help. He gave a little whimper before nodding hesitantly.
"Okay…" he said, reaching over to grab the same silk as him, getting close and wrapping his arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt let out a little breath at the proximity, smiling nervously at Blaine.
"I'll catch you, remember?"
He nodded, taking a deep breath and relaxing.
"Three…two…one." Blaine softly counted, and together they let go.
The free fall was terrifying, but only because it as unrehearsed, with no flips or turns included. They actually fell like this all the time.
"Grab and split. Three, two, one." Blaine instructed, and Kurt did as he was told, slowing their descent as Blaine suddenly ended up doing a handstand on his shoulders, legs in a split as he held himself.
Kurt kept himself steady, heart racing from their fall. They were halfway down the silks in formation.
"I wanted to…" Blaine straightened his legs, before weaving them around a silk and taking the weight off Kurt. "Incorporate some more poses and positions, into our routine – rather than just flipping and spinning." He said with a smile. "How did it feel?"
"Warning would've been nice…but it was cool." He breathed.
"Not as terrifying as you thought?"
"No. It was definitely terrifying." He swallowed. "But…thanks."
^.^
It continued like that for a long time. They would meet a few times a week to perform stunts and experiment, and each time, Blaine would convince Kurt to fall a little further.
Finally, a few days before their final show before they went on tour, Kurt fell.
He was practicing on his own, and had somersaulted and come up too soon, reaching for the fabric that was just out of reach. He fell like a stone, a quiet cry escaping from his lips. He scrambled for purchase, slowing his fault but not able to grip onto anything.
Memories of his accident came back as the ground rushed up – a split second of thanks crossing his mind that the blue safety mats were down, before he shut his eyes and braced for impact…
He landed safely in Blaine's arms.
Blaine stumbled a little, falling backwards with Kurt. They landed in a heap, but Kurt had kept himself small and Blaine was able to save him from hitting hard.
The second he had landed, Kurt was sobbing, crying into his hands from the terror and shock, and Blaine held him, soothing him as he breathed heavily. Blaine was just about to come and rehearse when he heard Kurt's cry and watched him fall, rushing to save him.
"Are you hurt?" he breathed, cuddling Kurt close.
The boy sobbed harder but shook his head, tensing his limbs one by one just to make sure.
"What happened?"
"Missed." Kurt whispered, wiping his eyes. "I just… I missed it. I didn't... I made a mistake…"
Blaine winced. "No, shh, everyone makes mistakes. It's okay. Come on, go back up and try again."
Kurt shook his head.
"Kurt, you have to get back up. I know you can do it. Show me what you were doing."
Kurt shook his head again, curling up. Blaine grunted, lifting Kurt up and pretty much pushing him up. Although he was still crying, Kurt knew he had to go back up, wiping his eyes before climbing up quickly.
He performed the same trick, somersaulting and hitting the silk accurately, before climbing back down, still looking shell-shocked.
"Good." Blaine said softly, rubbing his back. "Now…let's go for coffee…"
^.^
They sat in silence for a long time at the coffee cart, until Blaine dared to bring it up.
"Are you okay?" he breathed.
He nodded, staring at his coffee. "It…puts in perspective how easy it is to fall. How careful we have to be."
Blaine nodded. "But that doesn't mean accidents don't happen. It doesn't make you a bad acrobat If you stuff up."
"I could've died." He said softly.
"I was here to catch you. I'm always going to be here to catch you, Kurt. I promised, remember?" he said softly, reaching forward to take his hand.
Kurt paused, glancing at where their hands met. Blaine rubbed his thumb over his pale skin, a warm smile on his face.
"Thank you…Blaine…" he breathed, closing his eyes.
"You're welcome…"
Kurt glanced up at him, biting his lip. "I don't think I'm afraid of falling anymore."
"Because of me?" Blaine asked, wondering if he really meant the subtext behind his words.
Kurt stared at him for a long moment, before smiling and leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.
"Because of you."