Konnichiwa minna!

Author's Note: The author does not own Lovely Complex. The said anime belongs to Aya Nakahara-san.

Chapter 4: His Asymptote

"I love you, Otani…"

"Aho, Otani! You are the most stupid I know!"

"I love you, Otani.."

Argh! My head hurts just thinking about it. No matter how I tried to forget it, it continues to haunt me. Koizumi loves me? When? How? Why? I heard that some bestfriends ended up being lovers, but I never thought Koizumi wanted that. It is just.. not us. That's what I thought. Urgh. But I can't erase the fact that she is really mad at me. I don't want to go to school, but I have to. I must apologize to Koizumi, no matter what. She is my neighbor, my childhood friend, my bestriend. She is important to me. But I will give time to cool her temper. That's right, I'll apologize after school. I went downstairs, and found my mother and sister setting up the table.

"A-chan, what happened to your cheek?" my mother inquired, worried is traced on her face. My sister answers back, "Maybe he made Rii-chan (Risa Koizumi) angry at him." I stand in silence, knowing that it is the truth. "Ara, ara. A-chan? You fight against Rii-chan? You two are old enough to be fighting. I can consider it if you are kids, but you are adolescent people now."

"Hai, I know mom." I answer.

"Poor, Rii-chan," my sis says while resting her chin on her right hand, "The one she loves the most is hurting her." I almost expel the contents of my cup because of surprise. "Y-you know t-that s-she likes me?" I ask, stammering at the same time.

"Of course, idiot li'l bro. It's obvious.." she says in a-matter-of-factly tone. "I cannot understand her, why she chose you?" she insults. I give her a glare. "Actually, she said she likes you," my mother adds, "She even asked me and your father's permission to like you!" she says almost laughing. "She was so innocent middle schooler asking like that." Middle school? So she likes me back then? That was so long! "Anyways," my mother turns to serious, "You should fix the things between the two of you, more than anything, you are friends. And friends should not be against each other."

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

I can't concentrate on the lecture. No matter what I do, my mind drifts to her confession. I don't know how to respond. And I don't even know the feeling I am having now. Of all people, I am the one who understand her feelings the most. We're on the same boat. I like Kanzaki-san, and I know she doesn't feel the same way. Koizumi likes me, I like someone else. And I know it hurts. I am familiar to that feeling. Ever since.

After that incident, my eyes are always pulled to her. I observe her eyes are red and puffy. Has she been crying? Another pang hits my chest. I don't want to see her sad. But I can't sort my feelings yet. That's right! First things first. I must apologize for my reaction yesterday. What I did yesterday. I'm really dense. And here I thought I know her that much. I try to pay attention to the teacher, but still the tearful look of Koizumi is what I saw.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

I wait patiently at the school gate. As I saw her, I jerk up and instantly walk toward her. I can't describe what I feel right now. It's unusual to feel nervous infront of her, and she seems different. And I can't comprehend what makes her different. She looks hesitant but I speak anyway, "Koizumi… Let's talk please?" She nods and follows me. We walk at the back of school where no one goes here at this hour. She expects me talk first, so I try to compose my words. I don't know what happened to me, but I cannot manage to look at her, it looks like I may do something but I don't know what it is. It is my first time to be getting awkward with her. What should I say? Oh that's right! I'm going to apologize.

I just said, without further explanation. "I am very sorry, Koizumi." I'm sorry what happened yesterday, I add to my thoughts. She understood it, right? We were always like that - small talk but still understood.

I look at her. She looks like she held her breath momentarily. And she looks pale. "It's okay, Otani. I agreed to talk to you to say you are forgiven, that we are friends," she smiles, but I know it is not genuine. "Let's go home shall we?"

We walk together. But unlike our previous walks, this time, it is really quiet.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

"Hey, Nakao, what are they talking about?" I ask my friend, Nakao as I turn my eyes to Koizumi, Tanaka-san and Nobu-chan.

"Haven't you heard? My Nobu-chan asks everybody to find Koizumi-san a boyfriend." And he adds, "My Nobu-chan likes to be cupid. It's her hobby." He returns to his paperworks. What? Koizumi, looking for boyfriend? Then I have a weird sensation in my gut.

I hear Nobu-chan blurted out, "Nonsense! To love is to be desperate!"

I instinctively put my hand on my stomach. Weird sensation encircles my system.

"I think I'm hungry.."

"Let's go to cafeteria, then?" Nakao offers.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Our awkward treatment was reset to normal again. We do what we used to do. Koizumi and I go to school and home together. I visit her house, and she visits ours too. We lunch together with others. I joke with her, and we are always in craze when we hear Umibozou songs.

But somehow, something is different. I think Koizumi is different now.. I noticed, she looks female.. no that's not the right word. Woman? Nope. A lady? Perhaps. She's a different person now. One incident I asked her when she started to wear make-up and skirt (except school uniform). Nobu-chan answered though, "She always wear light-make up since the start of term! And she started wear skirts and dress since middle school, Otani-kun! What's with you?" Eh? I barely notice that. But I must admit, she looks beautiful. So she looks like that, ever since?

Is she the one who changed?

Or is it me?

But I don't want everybody to know this. After all, everything is okay. We are friends again. The funny thing is, I enjoyed her company even more.

"Hey, Koizumi!" I shout trying to get her attention. "It's Friday, remember? Umibozou will have a gig at Mumochi convention hall!"

"Oh, that's right!", she answers, smiling. 'I am happy to see her smile', my mind says, but suddenly it reprimands me 'What the heck are you thinking?' "Let's go!" she adds.

"Of course, wait for me, ne? I'll get my bag."

"Sure!" she replies.

I gather my things and run downstairs in breakneck speed, but I am taken aback when Kanzaki-san blocks my way.

Wait, Kanzaki-san? What is she doing here alone? I almost forgot her. Maybe because I was too much concerned to Koizumi and I's relationship – friendship, that is. Before, when I'm with Kanzaki-san, I feel really nervous. That's why I wonder why I feel normal. I feel neutral. My system seems weird, huh?

"Atsushi-kun," she says, looking directly at me.

"Ah. Y-yes?" I stammer, not because of nervousness, but because it is unusual for me to talk with her. It is indeed awkward.

"Will you answer a question?"

"Uh, sure. Why not?"

"Do you have the will to hurt me?" she asks, her eyes seems watery.

"Uh.." What does she mean? "..Uh.. Well, since we are classmates and you are a girl, of course not. Is there a problem?"

"I hope all men are like you, Atsushi-kun." She says, and tears starts to flow from her eyes. I fish out my handkerchief and give to her.

"Thank you." She accepts, wiping her tears that threaten to flow again. "You see, I have a boyfriend.." So she has boyfriend? ".. He is in different school, so we managed to meet once in a while. But when we have a date I always make sure we spent our time wisely. Bu-but.." she trails off, and again tears are overflowing. "He hurt my feelings. He is with another girl! I caught them, and he tried to explain that she is just his classmate, that I have nothing to be mad about. But it was obvious! They are too close to each other! They are so sweet! They see each other everyday, so no wonder if they fall in love with each other.."

I feel sympathy for her. "But, Kanzaki-san, if he insists that he has nothing to do with her, maybe he tells the truth. You see, if he doesn't love you anymore, why would he chase after you and tries to explain everything? I mean, he would just leave you, not the other way around. Doesn't that make sense?" I explain. I wonder why I try to fix Kanzaki's love life, since I wanted to be his boyfriend. I kick myself inwardly.

Kanzaki comprehends my explanation. "You think so?" she asks, doubts is still there.

"Yes. Just try to hear his side. I know he loves you. You are amazing person." I give a reassuring smile.

"Arigato, Atsushi-kun." She flash a smile, a smile I always loved. But it changes to worried look. "Gomen, I tell you this, even I know you like me.."

"No worries!" Huh? Like? Do I like Kanzaki? I've just realize, that I liked Kanzaki. Koizumi didn't change.

I am.

"Ah! Kanzaki!"

"What is it?"

"I take back what I said before!"

"Huh? What?"

"That I like you!" she give a confused look, "I think, my feelings change."

"Really, Atsushi-kun! That's nice! Ganbatte! You are good person, so she will like you back!" she cheers. She takes it otherwise. I didn't say I like someone. But I manage to say, "Arigato!"

"Thank you too, for listening," then she hugs me, a friendly hug. "Thank you."

We part our ways. My mind float back to my realization. So I changed my feelings? But how? And what kind of change? When? When Koizumi confessed me? But what difference it make? Maybe I view things differently. Maybe..

My mind goes back to reality when my phone rings. I read the text from Koizumi, 'Gomen, Otani. I can't go to Umibozou's gig. My Okaa-san asks me to buy something. Enjoy the show for me :D'

I thought she loves Umibozou? Koizumi seems weird. And I am disappointed. It will be boring if Koizumi is not around. It is useless without her. So I walk back home.

.. … .. .. .. .. .. . …. ..

I don't know if it is me, but I think Koizumi is avoiding me. But I didn't do anything wrong! Or maybe because my female classmates starts to gather around her, Nobu-chan and Tanaka-san that we barely talk. The whole week they are talking about Koizumi getting to a goukon. I mean, that's old-fashioned! Goukon? It's not like Koizumi to go to goukon! Moreover, my chest starts to hurt these days, along with these weird feeling that starts to get stronger and stronger everyday. Like there's a pit on my gut, a bottomless pit. I consult my problems to Nakao.

"Hey, Nakao, can I ask you?"

"Sure."

"Is there an illness where your heart hurts and you have something in your stomach? Like a swirling sensation? Then it feels that it goes down to the stomach.."

"You know, Otani," he says in a doctor's tone, "There are many possible for heart, but for the stomach, I think it is the human's natural way of excreting waste product out of the body.." he smirks.

"Hey! That's not what I mean!" I smack him on head, and he complains an "Ouch!"

"But seriously, did you notice Koizumi?"

"Huh? Koizumi-san?"

"Yeah. She looks differently these days.."

He looks at her. "Nope, there's nothing wrong with her."

"Yes! Getting boyfriend is a battlefield!" Nobu-chan exclaimes, acting a warrior by placing her fist upward.

"I think, I am the one who change.." I say to Nakao. He raises a brow, like he patches the events and my words, and smirks, "So, you like Koizumi.."

Instead of denying it, then smacking his head (which he anticipates by shielding himself to me), I say thoughtlessly, "I don't know. Maybe?"

His expression turns serious. "Otani?" he asks worriedly.

"Darling?" Nobu-chan intervenes. We are both surprised. Did she hear our converstation? I hope she doesn't. "Is there a problem?"

"Nothing, Nobu-chan!" he waves his hand. His girlfriend returns to Koizumi. That is when I had the chance to look at her. I am surprised that she also looks at me. She looks at me, like when she confessed to me. I skip a beat. Really? I do look like a cheesy guy. Like a high school in love. Wait I am in high school, but in love? Err. She stares back at me, then she smiles.

My heart then beats in irregular pace.

.. .. .. … … .. .. .. ..

"Hey, Otani.." Nakao and Suzuki both say. I turn to them. "Yeah?"

"We think you have a problem.." Suzuki adds.

I point myself, "Me?"

"Uh-uh." Nakao nods. "I think you did not sort your feelings yet."

My feelings?

"Do you like Kanzaki?" Suzuki asks. When did he turns to be blunt?

"Ah. There are many forms of like. If you say as a classmate, uh yeah.."

"Then what about Koizumi-san?" Nakao asks.

"Ko-koizumi?" I repeat. "Uh.. I don't know?"

They both look at each other. And Nakao says, "Confirmed."

"The what?"

"You like Koizumi, in different way.."

"Huh?"

"I ask you about Kanzaki, and you instantly reply. But when it comes to Koizumi, you hesitated. So you like her."

"Or maybe," Nakao intervened, "You love her.."

"Wha?"

"Don't deny it Otani.."

"You know, I can sort out my feelings myself! If I said I don't know, that means I don't know!"

I walk away, so they won't rub in the topic.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

I can't bear the thought of Koizumi going to another goukon, so I asked Nakao to ask Nobu-chan to set me up to her goukon. I wonder why they didn't complain or tease but I just let it go.

I remembered Koizumi's words on the balcony. "I do hope my future boyfriend is looking at the stars right this moment. Sounds romantic, isn't it?" I don't know but I felt something as she said that. Like I wanted to scream something to Koizumi, but what?

Koizumi didn't know I joined on this goukon, so I bet she'll be surprised. When I approach them, I saw the surprised look in her face and her eyes are almost popping out. But the thing is, she acts like she didn't know me. She offers a hand and introduces herself to me. What is she thinking?

When everybody is getting to know each other. I am on the corner, assessing my thought and actions. What am I doing here? I agreed to be friends with Koizumi. And here I am acting like a stalker! Really Nakao and Suzuki's words got the best in me. My thoughts and decisions are influenced by their words, by Koizumi's confession, everything! And here I thought we must start all over again! I decide to go back the way it was. Why is it when someone close to you profess his/her feelings, everything is awkward and different? I wish those things never happened! And it would be better if friends are just friends! I resolve myself to being the usual me when I am with Koizumi but a man was about to approach himself to Koizumi, so I instinctively approach faster to Koizumi. Like protecting her from bad guys.. like I always do when we are kids. The man walks away and approaches another girl, and Koizumi saw the whole thing. She frowns at me and walks away from me. Wait, I was trying to protect her! I am so mad at her, I grab her hand and lead her outside the place. She complains, and our companions stare at us. I lead her to where no one is around.

She jerks my hand, and I let go. "Seriously, Otani? What have you done? You ruined the date!"

"I ruined the date?" I spat back, "It's you! You don't even recognize me as your friend!"

"I tried to act natural to goukon. If I recognized you, the other boys may not approach me! But you did anyway." She folds her arms while looking away. Harrumphs

"How could I? You acted like we don't know each other! And moreover, why you go with this stupid dates! It's not you! I thought we are friends, but you did not tell me you are going with these things. It's unlike you! I thought we are friends, you used to be my side.." I start to blabber nonsense, but I can't stop my mouth from saying these words, like my mouth has its own mind. "And now, you starts to drift away…" I trail off, thank goodness my mouth stopped!

Her expression changes. "Yeah. That's right. I am your friend. Your childhood friend. Your neighbor. Your best friend.." she emphasized each word, and she is about to cry, and my heart constricts, "I am always by your side… Always… But you know what? I always wished to be the center of your life not on the side… And yes, I'm very sorry, to be so desperate on you.. I can't help it.. I really love you, Otani.." She said it once again. And tears cascade on her cheeks, "I-i wish to be at center, but I know, someone occupied that spot..I know you and Kanzaki-san are g-going out. I s-saw you hugging each other.." Wait, she misunderstands! "I know I have no chance against her. I just wished I never told you my feelings, so I cannot experience this pain I am having right now," she points her heart and wipes her tears furiously, but still tears are coming out. "I am sorry for falling in love with you, Otani. I am. Both of us is suffering this pain."

"Ko-" I am about to tell her everything, that Kanzaki and I are not together, and I have feelings for her that I cannot comprehend. And many things happened including her confession, Nakao and Suzuki's words, everything! But no words come out. We stand in silence, only Koizumi's faint sobbing is heard. My, I made her cry again. I hurt her once again.

"Goodbye Otani." She, once again, gives me a tearful look, and runs away.

Stupid Otani in this story! (Haha I 'created' him that way in this story, so I am the stupid one :P) Is he inconsistent here? I tried not to, but my mind can't think another scene to fit for the last part nyahaha..

Next update would be the last chapter (I hope.. :D)

"Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss.. But every once in a while you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.." Chet in Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen

(Love this story, can you recommend some story that has teen-romance like this? I'm into innocent children romantic stories.. heehee..)

Sincerest ARIGATO for reading!

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by

green-ninja05
November 2014