Three cheers for my power still being on! Here's a chapter to celebrate.

Wick's POV

There was something about being away, even if it was just to another familiar place, which made everything feel different for a little while. A part of Wick was always surprised to come back to things being just the way they had been when he left. There was still his dirty cereal bowl sitting in the sink and the pile of ignored mail was still waiting for him to offer it some attention. The streets are still the same, the signs and trees and traffic lights were all as consistently there as before he'd left. The familiarity was both nice and frustrating to come home to.

Though he tried not to grow restless with things being just the same, he couldn't quite help it. Especially when everything had felt so very different in the moment. He didn't want any more of the same, not when he felt so ready for something different.

He spends the day after Christmas sleeping. Then he goes to work and does his job adequately, greeting his old friends with a smile as if he'd been away for more than just a holiday weekend. Raven's there, they collaborate on plans for their project. No one mentions dead families or ex-boyfriends or kids who hadn't been loved.

Every once in a while he does catch himself smiling a little too wide or staring a little too long. If Raven notices too, she doesn't say anything. He doesn't ask her how she's doing. She doesn't offer the information. It's a choreographed dance of perfection, stepping right over the matters they didn't want discussed and spinning right into the things that were easy and familiar.

New Year's Eve is his holiday to work. He hardly minds, it wasn't like there was anyone to go out with. Monty is off, the lab work left to a different tech who must have drawn the short straw, considering the amount of grumbling he did.

The clock hits midnight very uneventfully. The room is empty when it does. Wick is convinced this other guy is taking shots in the bathroom. The phone rings exactly one minute after the new year strikes. "Hello?" he answers with a grunt and a question.

"Happy new year!" It's a loud chorus of people, music and laughter in the background of their shouts.

His smile is bright and immediate. It'd been a while since he'd had someone to ring in a New Year with, let alone a whole group. "Thanks guys, Happy New Year to you too." He does his best to distinguish the voices in the answering cheers and shouts. With a laugh he realises that most of them are probably drunk.

"Tragedy you aren't here," Jasper declares, his words indicating a hint of intoxication but not so far gone that he can't compose a sentence. "Raven misses you!"

Then he hears a smack and an 'ow!' coming from the other end of the line. He tries not to smile (he fails). "Aw, how cute, Reyes."

She growls something that sounds similar to, "Shut the hell up." It was hard to understand.

There's more shouting and cheering, probably from people kissing and drinks being handed out. With a shake of his head he realises that half of them aren't even of age yet. The line goes impressively quiet as he hears a simple, "Hey."

"Hi," he answers, recognising her voice immediately. "Partying hard, I trust."

She laughs, it's almost bitter and he remembers her words from in the car not even a full week ago. "Well Clarke's parents are out of town so you know it."

"Ooh," Wick winces, nothing worse than a full blown house party. "I don't think Dr. Griffin will be giving you anymore donuts if you trash her house."

"It's just the usual gang," she reassures. He hears a door open and shut on the other end. "How's work?" It's a simple enough question but it's enough to make him smile. There was something so normal in the question. Raven didn't usually do normal.

"Extremely busy, they're lucky they have me."

"God forbid they have to carry their own things," she jokes. "So, any New Year's resolutions?"

There are many answers he could offer her. Be braver, bolder, more obvious in his attempts at flirting. Or that he resolved to kiss the girl he'd fallen for. Or that he intended to care about someone as if he'd never lost before. "Maybe clean my apartment once in a while," he jokes instead. "How about you?"

Her silence is much shorter as she admits, "I want to take my test to become a credited mechanic." There's determination in her voice, even a sliver of hope buried beneath the words. As though, for the first time, she believes she can do it.

"And then?" he asks.

"Then what?" He can hear the irritation in her voice. The unspoken, 'is that not good enough?' lingering somewhere in her tone.

"You have a first rate mind, Raven." He'd seen her Christmas night, in the living room, her books already cracked open as she answered practise questions and whispered long, involved answers to herself. He'd seen her work, seen that damn rocket she built from scratch and the way she magically got his truck running better than it had ever worked before. "There's no way you can be content with just that."

For a minute there's no answer and he's wondered if she's hung up. The only indication that she's on the line at all still is when she clears her throat. "It's stupid," she says, quieter than she'd been a minute ago.

"What is?" he asks, a little bit lost. "What you want to do?" He wants to tell her the truth, all of the beyond stupid things that he wants but won't pursue. She needed him, needed someone, too much for him to screw things up with all of his messy wants.

The line beeps, indicating there's another call coming in. He doesn't care enough to cut her off in order to answer it. If it was important, he figures, they'll call back. "I want to go to college," she admits like it's the most absurd thing in the world. "I want…" a pause, a sigh, the words trapped somewhere between her heart and her brain. "I want to work for NASA. Build rockets for more than just fun maybe."

There isn't a doubt in his mind as he says, "I know you'd kick NASA's ass. You'd be the smartest one there."

"Thanks," she whispers. He knows the moment is over. College for her wasn't realistic, not when she worked two fulltime jobs just to sustain a livelihood. Not when she had a mother to take care of. "I'll see you around, Wick."

"Yeah," he agrees, ignoring the beeping once again as he says goodbye. "Tell everyone else I said goodbye."

She says she will and hangs up, the line going dead on his end. The sigh is drawn from his lips as he acknowledges for the first time how shitty her situation was. There was no way out, not without sacrificing everything she knew. It wasn't fair.

That doesn't stop him from getting online and Googling everything he could to figure out NASA's requirements, funding programs, anything he could think of. Potential like hers shouldn't be wasted in a trailer park, making ends meet with mediocre jobs. There has to be a chance, he decides. She's worth too much for there not to be.

Somehow, a few weeks later, he ends up at another group event. These people whose names he could hardly keep straight welcomed him into their gang without the slightest hesitation. He didn't know if Monty put in a particularly good word or what. Regardless, he didn't turn down the invitations.

Their night out is more of a night in. It's mid-January and Clarke (the blonde one, he remembered) was starting back at her next semester of college. She was in nursing school or pre-med or something and apparently her life was 'going to suck' in a week. So she needed to enjoy herself while she still could. At least, that's what she'd said once she was four shots in.

Bellamy, who was Octavia's brother and not interested in Raven, had the house to himself. His and Octavia's mom had apparently left for the weekend, a frequent occurrence it seemed. They took advantage of the alone time.

Miller had brought the booze, though Bellamy hadn't been happy about it originally, Kyle noticed him drinking a beer as the night went on. Octavia turned the music on and up shortly after he got there, dancing around the house as she put out chips and set up some game or another. It wasn't anything big. If there was one thing Wick had learnt about these people it was that they stuck to their group. Hence why he was a bit surprised that he'd been invited at all.

Jasper shows up late and, shockingly, with a girl. Wick offers a thumbs-up when the boy looks over at him. Now Jasper just needed to not make an ass out of himself. Which meant he should probably stay far away from the punch Monty was making.

Making a point to mingle, Wick talks with Lincoln about the hospital for a bit before Octavia calls for him from the kitchen. He helps Bellamy move the coffee table out of the way and introduces himself to Jasper's…friend? Girlfriend?

After a while he's just nursing a small cup of spiked punch in the corner. He wanted to ask if Raven was coming, he felt it was safe to assume she wasn't. He's caught off guard when a relatively drunk Clarke comes over to him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Only the height difference is so great that she essentially is just resting her arm on his back, nearly falling forward with the motion. He reaches out an arm to correct her balance. "Are you havin' fun?" she asks, eyes unfocused as they attempt to make contact with his.

He laughs and shakes his head. It'd been a while since he had been around someone this drunk. Since college, in fact. "I am, thanks for inviting me."

"Of course," Clarke answers, side stepping once as if the room was in motion. "Raven…she likes you." Clarke nods solemnly, as if she were stating a Bible verse or a law. "She doesn't like anyone."

At that he chuckles. She might have a tendency to come across that way. "Yes, she does," he corrects. Even if this might not be a conversation that Clarke will remember, he still felt the need to defend Raven. "She likes all of you guys. That's why she hangs out with you."

Clarke shakes her head, full motions of back and forth which throw her off balance once again. She crooks a finger, as if to tell him to come closer. He does and she brings her lips close to his ear and half whispers, "Raven hates me."

He pulls back and grips Clarke's arm. "No, she doesn't. She's just not good on the emotional front."

"No, no," she laughs, like he'd said something funny. "You weren't here when everything happened. You," she shoves her index finger into his chest. "You don't know what happened." He doesn't say anything else. Clarke seemed prepared to go on whether or not he tried to stop her. "Finn…she loved Finn so much. And I ruined that. Did you know that, Wicker? I ruined their like, forever long relationship, because I was the other woman. Me!"

"Raven doesn't-"

"And then I killed him!" She laughs, hysterical, mindless laughter. He looks around for someone else to come and save her from herself but the only other people in the room currently were Jasper and his friend, everyone else had migrated to the kitchen for food. "I mean, I didn't actually kill him, but I was the one who drove through the red light. I was the one who was driving the car when he got hit. It's my fault."

He clears his throat and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He has half the mind to walk away, but he can see the way Clarke is getting worked up. He worries what will happen if he just leaves her. "Raven doesn't hold it against you, Clarke. She's sad but she's not…angry." It might not even be true, but it was what Clarke needed to hear right now. He was more than happy to just say what she needed to hear. Anything was better than having her fall apart on him.

"You don't get it," she argues, head shaking and hands trembling. "Her life already sucked and then I went and made it worse. Raven's life is shit and I screwed it up worse." The guilt seems exaggerated, past what a normal person might feel for a girl they barely even knew. He couldn't deny her point, but he could feel sympathy for the weight of what she was carrying. "She hates me for taking him away from her and then she hates me all over again for killing him. She hates all of us! She hates Octavia for going to rehab when she needed her. She hates Bellamy for letting anything happen to his sister. Hell, she even hated Finn. But Finn is dead," she spits the last word out with animosity, pure hatred in her voice. "He's dead and you can't hate the dead. You love them, you pity their loss of life and you crave the good times because they will never happen again."

The conversation seems to have sobered her. Her words were all coherent and steady, her balance swaying less than before. "Lexa agreed. It was all my fault." That's when she crumbles, head hanging low and hands clenching into fists. The beginning formation of tears aren't missed.

"Clarke…" he starts to say, but he barely even knows this girl. He knows her purely through the things Raven has told him and this exact conversation. Again he looks up, desperate for someone else. His eyes meet Bellamy's and he pleads with his eyes for the other man to run some interference.

Bellamy doesn't take more than a second to cross the room to them. "Alright, princess," he says as he takes in Clarke's state. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders he directs her away from Wick and toward the stairs. "I think it's time you lie down for a bit."

"It was my fault," she whispers into his shoulder, close enough for Wick to catch her words before she's gone.

He lets out a heavy breath and takes a long swig of his drink, more than a little fried after that. He catches Monty's eye who had been watching the end of the exchange it seems.

Octavia comes to stand beside him, patting a hand against his shoulder. "You'll learn quickly that we're all fucked up." she says with a sad smile. "It's what makes us work together."

She walks away and it hits him harder than expected. Maybe that was why they worked at all. The broken left with no choice but to forge together. It's a little poetic for his taste, but the beer was starting to sink through to his brain and Clarke's cries of, 'it's my fault' echo in his mind. Perhaps poetic was okay for tonight.

It was almost midnight and Wick did not expect anyone else to be showing up to this awkward little shindig. Jasper had managed to completely ignore everyone else there as he talked to his girl and Monty sulked an exorbitant amount of time over the matter. Wick had every intention of trying to cheer Monty up, maybe with some science talk or even letting him discuss that new video game he'd been waiting to release for the last month. But when he goes to find him he's pressed up against the fridge, Miller's mouth connects to his and hands going in every direction.

Well then, Wick thinks as he immediately turns to go back where he came from, it would seem Miller had things taken care of the cheer up front.

Clarke apparently fell asleep upstairs but joined everyone two hours later, still a little tipsy but more emotionally stable at least. Octavia challenges Lincoln to a dance off on some gaming system. And then to about thirty more after he continues to win. A few more people trickled in over the course of a couple of hours. Little did he know that Harper from EVS also had befriended the group. But still, midnight strikes and he's past overdue for getting home.

Before taking his leave, he makes a point to go over and say goodbye to Bellamy. "Is Clarke okay?" he finds himself asking as he glances over to where she sits on the edge of the couch, her eyes bleary but seeming to take in her surroundings.

"She'll be fine," he answers gruffly, staring at the bottom of his beer bottle. "I think school is stressing her out."

It was an easy way to brush off an issue that seemed a hell of a lot bigger. Then again, maybe Bellamy just didn't feel like sharing those matters with some guy who barely even knew Clarke. None of it was really even his business to begin with.

He's ready to go track down his coat and say goodbye to whoever would listen when there's a knock on the door. No one else moves to get it so Harper stands, peaking out a crack. She exchanges words with whoever is there and steps back, holding it open wide. Raven walks through as though she was right on time and not four hours late. He stops what he's doing immediately to focus on her. "Hey," she says when she spots him. Her walk is confident, despite her limp, and he notes the partial smile fixed in place. He also sees the redness of her eyes and her mussed hair.

"Hey," he replies, more than aware of the worry that coats his voice. There were so many questions. How did she get here? Why did she decide midnight was the time to arrive? Why were her eyes bloodshot and glassy?

"Raven!" Octavia shouts before he can ask a single thing. She abandons her game, it was a losing battle anyway, and runs over to throw her arms tightly around Raven. She was completely sober, sipping water out of a clear glass all evening in favour of the punch. "I'm so glad you're here." She squeezes tight until Raven squirms, protesting the grasp. Wick got the feeling that Raven didn't tend to come to their get-togethers very often.

She opens her mouth as if to reply but then snaps it shut, offering a thin lipped smile instead.

"Listen, I have to destroy Lincoln in this game but as soon as I do I'm all yours." She bites her lip, as if guilty to walk away at all, but Raven offers another smile and a nod and that seems to be all the encouragement she needs. She kisses Raven's cheek before skipping off, trash talking Lincoln on the way.

Raven leans against the wall next to him, silent. "You had no idea they were having a party tonight, did you?" he asks. Not thinking that she'd been excluded. Oh he knew they invited her, but that she'd had no intentions of ever coming and certainly hadn't been planning to walk in to this.

"What gave me away?" she asks. It's meant to be a joke. The longer he stares the more obviously dishevelled she is. Her voice lacks any joking lilt.

The next question is obvious. It's one he got a thousand times after his parents died, a thousand and one after his sister followed, but then he thought better of it. There was nothing he hated more than that damn question. No point in bringing it back. "You missed some good stuff," he says instead. It was a little weird. How he was friends with her friends but not exclusively through her. How he found himself being invited whether or not she was involved.

"Oh yeah?" she asks, glancing to the drink he holds and then looking away. "Such as?"

He debates telling her about Clarke's melt down, but then he decides this is not the time or place. "Well Jasper brought a girl, shocking I know, and Monty was pouting like a child over it. Octavia almost burned the house down while lighting candles. Bellamy threatened to punch Miller earlier…that's about it."

"Eventful enough," she muses. "No one told me they invited you."

"Would've gotten here earlier if you knew how great the company was gonna be, eh?" he jabs her lightly with his elbow in joke and the sadness finally breaks as her face splits open in a smile.

"Actually I was thinking that I would have avoided it that much more," she says with a glint in her eye. "But whatever helps you sleep at night."

He holds back any further comment, settling on a firm smile and a small piece of gratitude that she was here next to him. Suddenly, he wasn't quite so eager to leave.