A/N I don't cash and I don't own these guys. You know where they came from. I'm just playing with them. They quite enjoy the treatment I give them /

"Sit, detective, get comfortable, kick off those wretched heels. As a matter of fact, strip off all of your clothes, if you so feel inclined."

"Lucifer, you said you'd behave," Chloe chided, slipping off her regulation high heels. God, that felt good.

"No, I said that I would try. I made no promises."

"You never stop, do you? The constant seducer."

"Devil, darling, can't help myself. Care for another drink or anything else. They say enough bad things about me, would hate to be called a terrible host, too"

"Oh, no. This is more than enough. Dumb question, but you wouldn't happen to have a first aid kit around here anywhere, would you? This spot here on my chin burns and I need to put some antibacterial cream on it."

With a nod, he reached under the bed and pulled out one of the biggest kits she had seen that was not attached to an EMS vehicle, "Sometimes, things get out of 'control' with my overnight guests so I need to be prepared."

"Looks like you're ready for anything."

He smiled and tiled his hood, studying her face. The make up did a bang up job of covering the bruises but it looked to him like there was some blood above her eyebrow, He pulled her to her feet and stood her under the light. Yes, bleeding and rather badly.

"Come on let's clean you up and get that bandaged. You're bleeding, love."

"What?", she said surprised, "Where?"

"Above your eye. What the hell did that miscreant hit you with, that looks rather bad?"

"How bad? It didn't look like much this morning."

"Well, if you call being able to see the muscle under the flesh not much, then no, it's not much."

"I think I need to go to the ER and get stitches. Take me?"

"Nonsense, come here, I can fix this."

"Now you're Dr. Morningstar as well?"

"I have vast knowledge of the human body since I was there when it was created. Now come sit in my lap and let me fix you."

Chloe caved. She didn't want to have to go explain to some stranger how she was injured. They would have to report it and she was in no shape to answer any question right now any way. So she sat stiffly on his leg.

Lucifer sighed and pulled her closer, wrapping and arm around her back. Silly woman, "Let's see. Ah, yes, I think a few butterfly strips will close this right up. You're going to have to lie down for me."

Much to his surprise, Chloe went to the bed and lied down with no argument. Lucifer took what he needed from the box and went to lie down next to Chloe. Gently, he applied the cream with a swab, hesitating as she hissed.

"What's wrong, Detective?"

"Stings a little. Sorry. Go ahead."

Lucifer dabbed a bit, wiping away the excess cream along with the blood before holding the cut closed and putting the bandages on like an expert. She smiled before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing the tip of his nose. Blasted female, he thought she was going to properly thank him but no. Tease, such a tease.

"Detective, Chloe? Why not me? Am I so horrid?

She scrunched up her face and shook her head, "No, you're not that horrid."

Angrily, he pinned her arms above her head, "Then why? Why is you would prefer someone else? Why go out to some dive bar and let some abusive, grubby handed stranger touch you? Tell me, I want the bloody truth or so help me, Chloe, I don't know what I may do."

She rolled out from under him and onto her side, refusing to look at him. She didn't know if it was the alcohol making her feel brave or the fact that she was tired of keeping everything bottled up inside, "Because you can't love me and dammit, I need someone who loves me, really loves me, okay? There, feel better now."

"Actually, no."

"You've gotten your answer, you drug it out of me, you should be pleased", she said curling into a ball.

"I'm not pleased at all because you couldn't be more wrong."

She felt his side of the bed rise, telling her he stood up but she was too emotionally exhausted to argue with him. She closed her eyes and let sleep over take her. If he wanted her to leave, he was going to have to kick her out. For now, she was taking a nap.

Lucifer almost ran from the room. He needed a drink. Once at the bar though, he lost his appetite for alcohol. Her words had hurt. A mere mortal woman inflicted an unbelievable amount of pain on the devil with her doubts. His thoughts wondered back to the time he had first met the sassy detective and fast forwarded to this point trying to figure out what he had done to make her believe him incapable of love. So many things, she had even walked in on him in the middle of a foursome once. How could he rectify all the mistakes he had made in regards to her. How could he prove to her that she was wrong. Perhaps avenging her would make her see. No, she would complain that he had to obey the human laws. Well, no matter, he would think of something. For now, he had to deal with her attacker anyway. He was the devil after all.

Maze didn't care for Chloe, that much was clear. She thought the mortal made Lucifer weak as well as vulnerable to dying. Really dying. When she saw the human woman asleep on Lucifer's bed, she had thought the lady cop had finally succumbed to her boss's charms. When she attempted to goad him about it, he had quickly corrected her and told her what little he knew of Chloe's predicament.

"Those kind of men were always my favorite to torture in hell. Can I play with him please?", Maze purred.

"In this instance, yes you may have the honor. That way, it won't be traced back to me But just this once He's still in that central holding cell as far as I know. Chloe said his name was David."

Maze was gone before he finished saying what he needed to. She was nothing if not efficient. He would give her that. He got a glass and a bottle of Balvenie single malt from the bar and sat down at his piano. In his sadness he began to play. He had no real song in mind so he let the notes flow from his fingers. The melody was as haunted as his soul and for the first time since he fell from Heaven, he cried.

Maze had located the man in the county lock up just as Lucifer had told her. Getting in and out of there was child's play. She tied the bastard's legs and arms to the chair before giving him a round house kick to the face. When she did, his nose and lower chin fell off. What the…

Under the make-up and prosthetic was none other than Detective Douche. Maze kicked him again for good measure and took out her phone to call Lucifer. He was going to love this.

"You'll never believe who it was, not in a million years. Oh, Lucifer, I'm creaming my panties here," she said as he answered the phone.

"Well, are you going to tell me or until your climax is over?"

"Detective. Douche."

"Why was Chloe acting like it was someone she didn't know if it was El' Douche'?"

"You've got to see this to believe it. He had this whole fake face get up on. It was probably dark in that bar too."

"Find out why and proceed as you please. Leave me something for later. I've been dying to pay him a visit and now I have a good reason."

"You got, but I'm ripping his junk off and making him choke on it for a while and nothing you can say will stop me."

"Ouch and yes. You are well acclimated to punishing, my dear demon. See you later."

Dan knew he was busted and by Lucifer's bartender of all people. He had to talk his way out of this and quick. Wait, Maze didn't like Chloe, maybe he could bring her around and have her see things his way.

"Listen, Maze. I can explain."

Maze straddled his hips and licked his cheek, "Explain", she said biting his earlobe.

Dan knew it was wrong but he was getting turned on. Maze was hotter than hell and knew her way around a man's body. Each little movement she made had him getting harder and harder so he swallowed hard and tried to tell her his side of the story. How he had gotten one of his friends who works undercover in the organized crime unit to do his make up. He had known Chloe was going to be there since she had gotten his baby sister to watch Trixie over night. He explained that Chloe was getting too involved with cases that should have open and shut. So, he figured if he smacked her around a little and pretended as David, to hate cops, she would run. None of this, Maze thought, was reason for him to do what he did.

"What else, what else is there, Dan, that has you so upset?"she asked licking his lower lip.

"I wanted her to quit being a cop, to be so afraid, she would run back to me. That she would get the hell away from Lucifer for good. Hey, you'd like that, too, right. If Chloe was out of the way."

"Perhaps, but not for the same reasons as you. You're so pathetic and sad. It's over, she doesn't want you. You know what, I'm not going to kill you. No, I'm going to work my little demon ass off to get Lucifer and Chloe together. When I'm done, they will be raising Rosemary's baby together."

Dan was grateful that she decided to let him live. He could weasel Chloe into believing any story he made up, he just had to make sure Maze didn't tell her either.

Before he could open his mouth, Maze's hand was in his pants and she had a super sexy smile on her face. Maybe, just maybe, he was going to get lucky tonight. She ran a finger down his cheek and took him in her hand.

"Oh, yeah, baby. Show me what you want. Tell daddy Dan what you need, bad girl."

Suddenly pain like he had never felt ripped through his groin.

"Open wide baby," baby she said, as he felt his own junk pass his lips. She was cramming it in his mouth.

"Told you, you're pathetic. Not even a mouthful. Sit tight, David. Lucifer will be by later to see you."

Lucifer knows? Well, he was screwed. He should have just stayed home and listened to Nickelback and drank his craft beer.