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I've added a little flashback scene in this chapter, it's in italics.

Again, let me know what you think of this and if you want me to continue!

Walk a line until it blurs

Build walls too high to climb out

/

"You need to go to the doctor and get checked out" Michelle gently rubbed her hand up and down her best friend's back as Carla chocked back another sob. "For your own peace of mind if nothing else. You don't know that the same thing will happen again, there was just so much stress last time, maybe..."

"What and there's no stress now? C'mon Chelle!" Carla exclaimed

Bringing up the past, especially her previous pregnancy was something Carla hadn't done for a long time. Not since Erica had lost her and Nick's baby boy. She had admitted that evening how scared she had been, how heartbroken it felt to no longer be able to feel her tiny baby girl growing inside of her, she laid her soul bare in front of Nick for the first time and told him things about herself and the event that had crushed her, things she hadn't confessed to anyone else before.

She had lain in that hospital room - which was cruelly situated at the end of the maternity ward - for hours after the procedure that had taken place to remove her child from the safety of her womb and had buried herself under the heavy covers and cried to herself. The sound of labouring mothers screaming in agony as they brought new life into the world, brand new babies taking their first breath before releasing a heart-warming cry to let everyone know they had arrived had haunted her for days and weeks afterwards.

"I can't" Carla brushed the tears from her eyes with a shaky hand and shook her head "I can't do this, I'm having an abortion, Chelle. I've decided"

Michelle sighed and ran her fingers through her dark hair "I'll support your decision, whatever that may be, you know I always will but babe, I think you really need to take a few days, I know it's hard and I know you feel like you don't want to but you need to."

Carla stepped away and moved to fill a glass of water for herself, quickly taking a sip before opening her mouth to protest, "What's the point?"

"The last thing I want is for you to make a decision you're going to regret." The thought of having a baby with Nick had crossed Carla's mind a few times during their relationship, mostly when she witnessed him as 'Uncle Nick' with Max and Lily who worshipped the ground he walked on.

Even with baby Harry he was brilliant, he took to handling a new born like a duck to water and Carla had felt her heart burst with emotion when they had gone to meet Harry for the first time and she watched as Nick carefully picked up the new baby and whispered softly to him. She had held back and kept herself towards the back of the room, not wanting to intrude on the beautiful family moment between the group, she had taken a long time to feel a part of them but that day had changed everything.

/

"Hey little man, I'm your uncle Nick" Carla watched as he carefully lifted the new born, tucked up in a soft blue and white blanket, from the plastic crib he was quietly laying in beside his mothers hospital bed.

She stood at the back of the room towards the door watching the scene unfold. He had called her earlier on and told her the news of Harry's arrival and that he would be round to pick her up soon so they could visit.

Carla had been a bag of nerves in the car; she didn't feel she belonged in the hospital celebrating with the family. The last thing she wanted was an awkward situation and things between her and Gail were still a little frosty, although better than they had been before.

"Babe, you're a part of this family now and Sarah loves you, she asked me to get you, she thought you should be here"

"Well that I don't believe" She chuckled as Nick indicated round the roundabout and the hospital came into view.

"She wasn't sure of you at first, but you weren't of her either and now she trust me, she thinks you're great. You've been amazing with Bethany and for that she's forever grateful. Trust me. You are wanted."

Those three words had hit her like a freight train, there was no way she could deny Nick's love for her, she could tell every time those words fell from his lips, his eyes lit up in a way she hadn't ever seen with Paul or Tony, even with Peter it hadn't been the same. To hear that his family were accepting her felt strange and entirely wonderful, not that she would ever admit it.

"Come and say hi, Carla" Sarah smiled "You can hold him if you like, he'd love to meet his new auntie"

Carla had smiled back nervously as she took a few steps and came closer to Nick who had given her the biggest grin she had ever seen. He adjusted the baby boy in his arms and turned to face her.

"Say hi to your auntie Carla, little man" Nick motioned for her to hold the baby but she held her hands up in rejection.

"Oh no, he's happy where he is" She smiled, her heart felt full and she hoped that no one could see the tears that were gathering in her eyes. Baby Harry was awake and staring at her, his bright blue eyes were attached to her and in that very moment she could feel nothing but love.

"You can hold him you know" Nick whispered to her, sensing her hesitation.

"No, I can't" She mouthed back before quickly hiding her face to wipe away the evidence of tears.

The thought of holding someone else's new born baby when she had never gotten to hold her own was breaking her heart and as much as she loved being a part of this special moment between the family, she wanted nothing more than to drink herself into oblivion and cry burning tears until she had nothing left to give.

/

Michelle stepped back slightly and grabbed her bag "I have to get back but we are going to talk about this more. You can't go through this on your own no matter how much you think you can"

Hating that she had to leave Carla on her own in this state, Michelle rounded the corner towards the pub and saw the man they had just been talking about stumble out of a taxi.

"Nick!" Michelle rushed over to him as he threw some cash towards the driver.

Nick sighed and let out a groan, rubbing his hand through his blonde hair "Michelle, I can't do this. Please…"

"Nick look, I know you don't want to talk about it…"

"Damn right I don't…" He cut off

"Look, please listen" Michelle grabbed his arm as he turned away from her and headed towards his mothers house "Nick please, I know she's probably the last person you want to see…"

"I just can't right now, Chelle" Nick sighed

Michelle struggled with her loyalty to her best friend and her overwhelming need to try and fix their broken relationship but she knew Carla was making a mistake and she knew that Nick deserved to know the truth.

"I know she made the biggest mistake of her life, believe me she knows that too. She hates herself Nick, more than usual…" She smirked trying to joke and was glad when Nick himself managed a slight chuckle.

"You have to talk to her" Michelle insisted, "She's leaving tomorrow"

"Leaving?" Nick felt his heart drop to his feet, he was angry, more than angry even but he just felt sad. These past few days were supposed to be the happiest of his life, marrying the woman he could honestly say was the love of his life before heading off to Paris for a honeymoon to remember. "What do you mean leaving? Where to?"

"She doesn't want to cause you any more hurt, Nick" Michelle replied with honesty "She hates herself for what she's done and she doesn't want to stay round here knowing that you hate her. She says that if you want to move on from her that's fine and you deserve to be happy but she can't be around to watch you do that, she says it would kill her."

"I don't…hate her" Nick confessed sadly, the last thing he ever wanted in the world was to see Carla upset "I'm pissed, Chelle, I'm furious. How could she…how could they?"

"I know, believe me I know" Michelle placed a comforting hand on Nick's arm "You need to talk, both of you. Just promise me you'll talk to her. I can't tell you why, only she can but if you never listen to anything I say again just please listen to this; Talk to her. Before its too late"

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Lyrics: Better as a Memory - Kenny Chesney

Twitter: ahoycinderella