Thank you so much for your lovely comments! It makes me giddy when you leave a comment, I love knowing that there are people that are actually enjoying what I write so again, thank you!
I have no idea how this chapter happened, I didn't even think about writing anything and then Elise tweeted about how Carla and Nick were so in love and then I just felt like dying because THEY COULD'VE BEEN SO HAPPY MY GOD CORRIE WTF WERE YOU THINKING!?

anyway, this is what happened! please let me know what you think!

I'm better as a memory than as your man

.

"I'm certain that while there's a breath in my body I will always love you" Carla voice broke as she recited the words "You said that to me. You said that, Nick"

"That was before I found out the truth" He scolded as he stood and moved back from the tearful brunette in front of him, his feet took him towards the window, his eyes gazed through the slats in the blinds, taking in the sight of the street below currently bathed in darkness.

"You said that even with all my faults I was the woman you were going to marry, you said you were certain of that." She brushed back the tears from her cheek as she remembered that cold January night down at the red rec. He had convinced her that night - despite her overwhelming guilt and fear of his rejection - that they were forever. Nick's love for her had washed away the feeling of guilt and dread that had haunted her the days following her idiotic drunken mistake.

"And I did." He replied, "I married you. I stood in front of my family, your family, and our friends…I stood there and told them how much I loved you and how perfect you are for me. That no matter what we've been through in the past, no matter how deep and dark our pain has been in the past years of our lives, it didn't matter any more. It didn't matter because as of that moment, we were starting a brand new life. Together we could get through anything."

"We can, Nick. We can get through anything, as long as we're together"

"Carla…"

"I'm not asking you to forget" She insisted, her heart felt as if it was slowing down, it felt like it was coming to a halt and slowly falling to her feet "I know you can't and I know what I did has broken your heart and believe me I'll never forgive myself for it but please Nick, just please let me try and fix it."

Nick glanced around the room, the shelves emptier than they were a week ago but one thing stood out, the golden frame that held a photo of them. Neither of them were paying attention when Michelle had snapped the photo. His arm was wrapped around Carla's shoulder keeping her close, she had told them she was heading home but he wasn't ready, they were laughing and joking with Steve and Lloyd, Michelle occasionally joining in and as Carla had gotten ready to stand he had wrapped his arm around her, pulling her back, his lips pressed against her head in a soft kiss, convincing her of one more drink.

"I can't forget." He mumbled, his eyes drifting from the photo of happier times back to his new wife. "I just can't, every time I see you I'm reminded of what you did"

Nick moved from the window and stepped closer to Carla, his fingers reaching for hers, his thumb gently caressing the soft skin over her knuckles "I can't get the image of you and him out of my head"

"`Nick"

"He kissed your lips, the same lips that told me you love me, the same lips that asked me to marry you. He had your body in his hands, he touched your skin, the same skin that has been held against mine, the same body that has plagued every crevice of my mind and kept me awake for hours…it feels like he stole a part of you from me."

Carla's tears fell freely as Nick gently brushed the stray hairs that had fallen from her ponytail, her hand grabbed the front of his blazer and held it tight in her fist, keeping him as close as possible. She cleared her throat and began to talk as she stared at the floor "It was one time and I was drunk" She whispered, "All I remember is feeling sick, the pain in my chest as he stood in the room in front of me, laughing when I realised what I'd done"

"I don't need any more images of the two of you in my head" Nick replied, the feeling of nausea creeping over him

"I'm not trying to put images in your head, I just want to explain. It didn't mean anything and…"

"Don't you get it? It doesn't matter that it doesn't mean anything or that you were drunk, you still gave yourself to him"

Carla stepped back and broke their embrace, her hand covered her mouth as she felt the urge to vomit.

"How would you feel if it was me that did that? How would you feel if I had slept with someone else? Knowing that I had another woman kissing me and touching me, knowing that I was doing to her what I'd done to you"

"Nick please…" Carla moved around to the sink and gripped the edges until her knuckles turned white; she saw spots as the burning sensation moved from her stomach to her throat.

"No, you say I need to understand but so do you! I know that it was a mistake, you've told me that but that doesn't get the image of the two of you out of my head!"

Nick's voice faded to a dull echo in the back of her mind as her head spun and her stomach churned, she let out a small groan before heaving into the sink, the acid from her stomach burned her throat and mouth as she vomited what little food she had eaten that day into the kitchen sink.

Nick immediately stopped talking and time stood still as he watched as Carla's shoulders began to shake with the force of her sickness. Any anger and pain he felt towards her instantaneously disappeared as he watched her tremble, one arm wrapped around her middle as the other held the edge of the sink.

"Carla?" He was at her side in an instant, after what felt like an hour of watching her in silence "Carla…its okay" He gently rubbed her back and held the arm that was across her middle.

"You're okay, just get it out" He knew how much she hated being sick, the thought of vomiting had always drowned her in a blanket of anxiety.

"Nick…"

"Shh, just breathe" He said quietly as she struggled to catch her breath "You're okay."

"I can't…"

"Carla…" He held her tighter as she tried to move away from him, he rubbed firmer circles on her back as she gagged again followed by a sharp coughing fit trying to bring up whatever was left in her stomach.

After a few minutes of silence and the occasional groan from the suffering brunette, Carla stepped back before burying her head in her hands and leaning forward onto the cool counter, the cold marble worktop providing a little relief from the burning of her skin.

Nick busied himself with rinsing away the evidence of her sickness and filled a glass of water "Carla, you need to stay hydrated, drink this." He placed the water in front of her "Slowly. Just take small sips"

With her stomach still doing gymnastics she collected the cool glass in her hand and watched Nick move expertly round the kitchen tidying up after her 'episode'

"Have you eaten anything different?" He broke the silence between them.

Carla shook her head and took a sip of water, breathing deeply as the cold liquid soothed her burning throat. Her hand hovered over her stomach, the knowledge of what was really going on, the fact that she had their child growing inside of them and that was more than likely the cause of her vomiting, along with the thought of the love of her life with another woman.

"I'm fine, Nick"

"Well, if you were fine you wouldn't have just vomited your entire body weight into the sink" He replied back with a hint of sarcasm

Carla groaned at the thought of vomiting again "I'm fine now. I guess I just need to lie down" She looked at him with hope, wishing he would stay. All she wanted to do was lie in bed with her husband and finally get longer than a couple of hours of what had lately been nothing but broken sleep.

"Yeah, you should" Nick replied. "I'll eh…I'll get going"

"Nick." She called for him as he reached the door "Is there any hope for us? At all?"

Nick stood with his hand on the door handle, he gazed back at his wife, her skin pale and slightly clammy after her bout of vomiting, her hair brushed back, looking like a lost, scared little girl. He wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and kiss her forever and promise her that everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn't.

Let me know if you'd like more and what you thought of this chapter.

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