Chapter 8

The three slayers climbed the stairs up from the underground library. Though they were leaving, the horror and sorrow they had experienced there stubbornly stuck with them. After a long period of silence, Blanche spoke up.

"B-boy, uh... too bad ol' Drac's never heard of a little invention called the elevator, huh?" she nervously quipped. Cass grabbed her hand, squeezing it firmly.

"Blanche... I know why you're doing this, but... it's not the time..."

"I know..." Blanche said, defeated.

Andre sighed. "It is alright, Cassandra. It is her nature to seek levity for scenarios in which it is direly needed."

Blanche blinked, dumbfounded. "Are you... givin' me permission to toss quips around, even after... all that...?"

Andre looked back at her, forcing a smile. "The fact of the matter is, I am welcoming it! Give us the best that you have!"

Cass frowned. She didn't like where this was going...

As they reached the top of the stairs and entered another hallway, Andre accidentally tripped over the doorway and fell into the wall, which cracked on impact.

"Wow, thanks, Andre! I knew ya were bein' generous lettin' me joke around, but it ain't even been five minutes 'n' you've given me pages of material!" Blanche joked.

Andre laughed raucously, picking himself up. "Yes, I was quite clumsy, wasn't I? How could such a fool even hope to protect their loved ones?"

Blanche winced. "A-Andre, I think you're kinda missing the point of 'good-natured ribbing' here..."

"Ah, yes, my apologies... How could I be so stupid?!" He punched the wall in frustration, cracking it open further to reveal a large, freshly-cooked turkey behind it.

"...A-A turkey!" Blanche exclaimed, trying to gloss over his reaction. "L-look at how ridiculous that is! Who the hell bakes a fresh turkey just to hide it behind a wall?! And what, is Dracula eatin' the turkey? Was it for the Were-Minotaur? Like, who even cooked it?"

Andre let out a hollow chuckle, trying to recover from his outburst. "It is quite absurd, is it not? Well, regardless of the reason for its presence here, I suppose we could all use a bit of nourishment."

"Hey, I'm in if you are," Blanche claimed.

"You're serious?" Cass interjected. "You're gonna eat the wall turkey? The turkey that was in the wall of Dracula's Castle? Turkey that could have mold or spiders or could be poisoned or-"

She looked up and saw that Andre and Blanche were both voraciously shoving turkey legs into their mouths. "Nah, iff good!" Blanche said with her mouth full of meat, bits of it flying out as she spoke.

Cass sighed. "I don't even like the white meat... Then again, I guess I'm hungry enough not to care." She tore off a chunk of meat and popped it into her mouth, making pained expressions as she chewed.

Blanche went to her side, concerned. "Is the white meat poisoned?!"

Cass shook her head. "Just dry..."

The hallway soon took them to what seemed to be the lobby of a grand theater. Their eyes wandered, taking in the sights. Suddenly, a bone flying from seemingly out of nowhere struck Blanche in the head. "OW!" She looked up and saw several skeletons walking backwards up the stairs to the balcony area, each tossing femurs in the trio's direction.

"Where'd they even get all those femurs?! Was there a sale or somethin'?!" Blanche yelled as they ran, dodging the attacks.

"A sale! Ha! Where would one buy such a thing, and how would a skeleton pay for it?!" Andre cheerily questioned as he tossed crosses upwards to demolish them. Cass simply rolled her eyes, her whip tearing through several other calcified foes.

"And why were they walking backwards, anyway? You'd think they'd wanna get closer to their targets," Blanche observed as they reached the top of the stairs.

"It's probably an aiming mechanism," Cass explained, frustrated. "Everyone who uses a ranged weapon of any sort has one, so it's not too surprising that they would, too."

"Aiming mechanism!" Andre repeated, laughing. "That is rich!"

"Oh, come on! You don't even know what you're laughing at anymore!" Cass yelled.

Blanche sidled closely to her and leaned in to whisper. "Does it really matter? If it's helping him get past you-know-what, I say we let him laugh."

"But it's not! ...Is it, Andre?" Cass asked.

Andre stopped dead in his tracks. "Before that incident, the two of you always found light, even in the darkness... I may have seemed frustrated and annoyed by it, but in truth, being around you was a happier time for me than I had known ever since he went missing... Is it wrong for me to wish for such happiness again...?"

Cass shook her head. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy... but it's dangerous to try to force yourself to be happy! You're just cramming one emotion down on top of another, not realizing that it doesn't get rid of the other one!"

Andre turned around, tears streaming down his face as he smiled. "Cassandra, I am happy! Can't you see that I'm as chipper as a schoolgirl?!" He ran off ahead of them, and Cass slapped her own forehead with the palm of her hand.

Blanche tried to keep up with Cass as they ran after Andre. "Cass, I'm sorry... I really thought I was helpin' him..."

"I know, I know! For now, let's just focus on making sure he doesn't do anything stupid!"

When they made it through the doorway to a balcony overlooking a grand stage, they were greeted to the sight of Andre being embraced by a scantily-clad incubus with a face identical to that of a more lively, healthy Dumitru.

"Poor soul..." he said to him in Dumitru's voice. "You've endured so much suffering, and now your so-called 'friend' will not even permit you one bit of happiness... How cruel... Come, my beloved... Allow me to heal your wounded heart..."

"Dumitru..." Andre said, shaking. "I thought that you w-were... I... I have missed you so..."

The incubus leaned in to kiss him, but stopped suddenly when he heard Cass' voice cry out from the balcony, "Andre, stop! He's not Dumitru!"

"What a pain... Deal with them, won't you, Harlequin?" the incubus said, snapping his fingers. An object appearing similar to a large red rubber ball materialized out of the ceiling above Cass and Blanche. As it dropped down, it crushed the balcony beneath them. Blanche clung to Cass, screaming as they fell. Thinking quickly, Cass snagged her whip around a light fixture on the wall, then slowly loosened it to provide them a steady descent.

As Blanche let go, she keeled over, catching her breath. "What is with the weight of everything around here?! I can lift a halberd like a toothpick, but a rubber ball can smash through a floor?! What, do physics mean nothin' here?!"

A man in a green and red checkered suit landed atop the ball. His shoes were white with large red bows, and he wore gloves and a clown-like mask with a sickening grin on it. He began to speak in an irritatingly pitchy voice. "My, my, I've never seen little girls with such dour attitudes before! It seems to me that you need to learn how to have a little fun! Your acquaintance over there was the sourest sourpuss I've ever seen, but even he's embraced the spirit of good humor!" He laid down on his side as the ball continued to bounce. "And a few other things, if you catch my drift."

As the incubus made out with Andre, they could see Andre's skin becoming paler. Growling, Cass tossed a dagger into the ball, popping it. The harlequin let out a shrill, annoying cry as he landed on his head. Cass ran to the stage, jumping up onto it.

"Andre Belmont, quit running away from reality right now! This isn't Dumitru! Dumitru is dead! I know it hurts, and I know it's easier to distract yourself from it, but if you do, you'll never get past it! If you do, you can never pay Felix back for what he did!"

Andre's eyes snapped open. Struggling, he pushed the incubus away in a violent coughing fit. He looked up at him with a deep glare. "To impersonate such a pure and beautiful creature to feed upon my weakness... Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!" He tossed a cross that tore into the creature's chest, but remained stuck there.

The incubus snarled. "Very clever! But I've devoured too much of your energy to fall prey to such weak attacks, you fool!"

"Then it's a good thing he's not alone," Cass replied as she lashed the Vampire Killer straight through his neck. With a shocked expression, his body dissolved into dust.

As the harlequin got to his feet, his mask seemed to shift into one with an angry scowl. His voice became more scratchy and deep as he leapt up towards the stage. "Burn in hell, you brats!"

He fell just short of the stage as a bullet pierced his leg, burning from an eruption of holy water. He looked back to see Blanche holstering her gun. "They ain't your playmates, clown!" she yelled, readying her halberd. "'Fraid you gotta deal with me!"

Laughing in his regular goofy voice, the harlequin materialized six multicolored balls in his hands and began to juggle them. "Alright, then perhaps you'll indugle me in a game! The red ball will burn whatever it touches! The purple ball contains a highly potent toxin! The yel-"

Blanche's halberd swept through his midsection, and like the incubus before him, his entire body began crumbling to dust. His mask changed to a long frown with a single teardrop before it, too, disintegrated.

"I can't stand guys who never shut up about their hobbies," she said, once again sheathing her weapon.

Andre slumped down onto the ground, looking up at the catwalks and rafters above him. "I'm sorry... I thought that if I allowed myself to feel all that anger and pain, I would drag you down into it with me... I... wanted to see your smiles again..." He blushed at admitting something so embarrassing.

"Andre, we'll be fine," Cass told him. "I've been through too much in my life to let something like that get me down for good, and Blanche is... well, Blanche. I know you've dedicated your life to helping others, but you need to help yourself now and then, too. And sometimes, that means letting yourself feel really horrible for a while so you don't have to feel kind of horrible for the rest of your life."

"I... suppose that makes some amount of sense," Andre said, scratching his head.

"So, how do you feel?" Cass asked.

"Horrible... I feel as though I want to scream and cry and tear this entire castle apart."

Cass chuckled lightly. "We're already working on one of those, but in the meantime, maybe this is a good opportunity to get the other two out of your system..."

Andre tilted his head back and let out a loud wail, thick tears streaming down his red face. Blanche got up on stage with them, grabbing Cass' arm.

"Think he's gonna be alright?" she asked.

"I think he'll get there," answered Cass.

Andre sat up once his eyes had dried out. Cass got down on her knees and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him on the lips. He let out a small moan as he kissed her back. Blanche, wrapped up in the moment, planted small pecks along both of their necks...

Several hours passed, and Cass woke up in the backstage dressing room. She found herself in a pile with Blanche and Andre, all three in various stages of undress. The other two were still asleep. Cass blushed as steamy memories flashed through her mind. "Maybe I'm just imagining it all," she said to herself. Cautiously, she looked out the door. The unicorn they had encountered earlier was standing there. It shook its head in disappointment, then turned and galloped away into the darkness.

"Shit..."