Tony would never admit that he squeaked a little bit when the doorman called out to them, hand seriously on his gun like some terrible private detective from that awful show Pepper made him watch, and he was going to be killed by some rent-a-cop in a stupid Stark building before he was even born.

He could feel Natasha tensing up to kill what will probably be copious amounts of people, which was also not okay, and he could see Bruce go a little green. He started to have a quiet little freak out when he heard wheezing across the room.

Really, really loud wheezing.

Tony turned, along with everyone else, to the source of the horrible dying possum noise. It was Steve.

The kid was doubled over, coughing so hard Tony was surprised he didn't break a rib. The billionaire started forward, then caught a look by Cap that said what are you doing, idiots? go, and took Natasha's arm again and slipped past the first round of security. He glanced back as Natasha got them through the next layer.

Steve was on the ground now, somehow. Bucky Barnes materialized next to him, irritation leaking through a concerned mask.

The people around had been starting to lose interest, but Bucky's entrance had drawn their attention in again, their eyes riveted to the pair like a tragic circus act.

Steve coughed, making a choking noise like Darth Vader had suddenly invaded his soul.

Bucky kneeled down next to him.

"I see the light, Buck." Steve said, pushing an arm in a random direction dramatically.

"No! Don't go towards it!" Bucky wailed, a hint of mischief in his clenched jaw, shaking his friend's tiny shoulders and making an excessively worried noise. The crowd watched on, fascinated.

"Tell Eliza I loved her." Steve coughed dramatically, flopping his head around and making his own eyes water.

"You'll tell her yourself, dammit!"

Tony almost ran into the door as Natasha pulled him out the final exit and away from the Steve and Bucky show. He gaped, watching Steve gasp something nonsensical about seeing flowers.

As he saw his team in the clear, Steve cut off mid-cough, sitting up.

"Wow, I feel much better!" He said.

Bucky overdramatically sighed in relief, then dragged his friend through the door, to the sounds of applause and cheers from the employees inside.

Tony's mouth fell open as he watched Steve dust himself off, a safe distance away in another alley.

"How did you know he was faking it?" Tony asked, staring at Barnes, who was decidedly not an evil Russian assassin and was also decidedly pissed.

"You are an idiot." He said, ignoring Tony's question but also sort of answering it at the same time.

"How often did this happen? This is something I need to know." Tony said, ignored again. "This is very important to me."

"It's really not as bad as it looks, Buck, I swear-"

Steve was saying, trying out the puppy eyes that usually made Sam smack him upside the head and then do what he wanted anyway.

Clint chose that moment to drop down from the rooftop above. "Nice one, Rogers, that was awesome! I stole the MEB, completely successfully and with minimum harm to myself, if anyone was wondering. You know, for me that's an accomplishment, you can ask Kate, one time I injured myself trying to go shopping for dog food-"

Clint finally noticed Bucky standing there, and attempted to hide the rather obvious, rather large and obviously stolen box now halfway out of the mailer's package behind his back. "It's not what it looks like?"

Bruce took the MEB gently from Clint's grasp, examining the box it had been smuggled out in and mostly ignoring Bucky,. Steve, however, was not quite so lucky.

"No, see, the box was ours- theirs- to begin with. We were just getting it back, see? Buck, common, ow."