WARNING: This chapter is another M chapter. As I've said before, there won't be too many of them but I obviously still want to warn you guys. This does deal with a little self loathing but mostly M for sexual content.

Enjoy!

"Hey stranger
My strange love
Would you be mine?
Am I what you're dreaming of?

Hey stranger
My strange love
What makes you shy?
What makes you fall in love?"

- Lana Del Rey "Strange Love"

"I don't care what you say, J, she's dangerous."

Peeping through the crack of the door, I could see Harley twirl a finger around her temple. "You've had some pretty screwy ideas but we just watched her butcher her own motha' with a crowbar."

"Oh, Harley."

"Her family."

"Yes."

"Whose to say she won't do that to our family, J?" The uppity blonde rested her hands on her hips.

The clown pondered this for a second. The internal struggle evident on his pale visage. I drew away, placing the back of my head against the wall once more. I had been eves dropping on their conversation knowing very well that Harley wanted to dispose of me immediately and how could I argue?

The squishy sounds of Carmen's brain matter sloshed itself inside my cranium. My fingers crept up to my ears attempting to squeeze the memory out.

"Harls," I stifled at the sound of Mister J's voice. "Pumpkin pie." I returned my eyes through the crack. Joker was approaching the clown girl at a gradual pace. "That's what I like about you, your utter devotion to protect what's ours." The backs of his fingers feathered over one of her cheeks. She was instantly under his spell, her eyes fluttering closed. He trailed his fingertips along the nape of her neck before toying with the end of a pigtail. Then, with one great jerk, he ripped her head to the side.

"But be honest, are you going to replace the millions I spent on that serum? Hm?" He vehemently spat. She clawed at his hand, trying to pry it from her hair. "Something tells me this goes much deeper with you." He released her. "Are you going soft on me, Harls?"

Her face was seething as she rapidly combed fingers through the now loose pigtail. "You would know better than anyone, J" She narrowed her eyes.

My heart was racing, the cat was out of it's bag.

Joker's mouth upturned into a wicked, metal grin. "Oh, kitten." He began to chuckle. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" His movements became fluent as he approached her again. However, she was on her guard this time, holding each tail with each hand. "I got a little…carried away…but you are my number one girl, Harley Quinn!"

This time, his fingers gently cupped her face as she allowed it. "And you should trust that if she ever got in our way or hurt you, I'd find a way to permanently end her." His blue hues grew dark with every word.

This appeased the clown girl tremendously and she reached up to plant a kiss on his red lips. He returned her gesture by deepening it. My stomach turned as I pulled away. A strange feeling of self hate and anger boiled at my core.

Why was I even feeling anything?

I started to silently sob. I couldn't push down the emotions of uselessness or the disgust of what I'd done. The worst part of it being that I had absolutely no control. My spirit was so detached that my recollection of the whole ordeal was literally from a spectators point. I could list you all of the things that Olive had done but if you asked me how it felt, I would only shrug.

I wasn't there really. Just a witness to another version of me murdering my mother. But Olive enjoyed it, that much was clear at the time. The horrendous howl that escaped her lips once the deed was done was spine chilling. She appeared to have no remorse…at first.

The whole car ride home, when I reunited with my body, I was a complete zombie. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. All of these unnatural things were happening but I wasn't all too sure if I was dreaming or if it was real. It must have only been a few days ago when I last sang at Angelo's, no?

A week, perhaps?

I was utterly lost inside this circus. The stakes too high, the tent too big. What would me of a couple weeks ago say? Who am I anyhow?

I stopped my crying long enough to make it back to my bedroom undetected. Standing in front of a tall mirror, I gazed at the wreck before me. No matter how much sleep I got those purplish circles seemed permanent. If I didn't have nightmares before, I would now, and tonight wouldn't make it any better.

Joker had been so pleased with the results that he decided a party would heal any reservations I still held. A celebration of sorts. I can tell you Harley wasn't too keen on the idea and I definitely didn't fault her on that but his spirits were so high it left him quite generous. Which was a rarity all it's own and to be truthful, nobody wanted to rock that boat.

So a grand party it was! He had hired people to hire people to set the place up for large company. I noted a few villains I'd seen before in the papers but most of the guests were mob bosses, gangs, or private investors of sorts. Just more shady business suits.

I found myself wobbling down the upstairs hall trying to find a place to rest for a second. I was six drinks deep and the hired tender was not light on the liquor.

Entering the library, there were a few unraveled guests surrounding one of the rectangular tables. Two of them were hunched over cutting up what looked to be cocaine while the other, a woman, danced in circles round the room. She was off in her own little world as she swayed to the music pulsing throughout the manor. Another suit sat unhinged near her attempting to catch her in his hands every now and again, like a playful game of cat and mouse. They were all obviously tweaked.

As I stepped further in, one of the scruffier ones at the table turned an eye my way. His dilated pupils drank in my physique. "You looking for a good time, princess?"

I swallowed hard, inching closer. "What'cha got in mind?"

He flashed me a toothy grin, "For you, something special."

I watched the man pat his jacket pocket and get up to sit at a lone table. Warning flags flew up countlessly within my mind but I just couldn't muster the effort to care about myself anymore. At this point, what could kill me, was worth it.

I followed him to the table and sat in the chair he had slid out for me. Still grinning, he pulled a small baggie of white powder from the pocket he patted earlier. It appeared oddly similar to cocaine but I noticed it's texture seemed feathery, softer. After he made two neat little lines, he beamed back to me, extending a rolled bill.

My features scrutinizing, I asked, "What is that stuff?"

"It'll give you your wings, butterfly." The unkempt suit tittered with a wink.

He must have frequented Angelo's club, fully aware of who I was. I gave him a sly smile not caring to really get a straight answer. My fingers curled around the bill and I languidly lowered one end of the green twenty just above the white substance.

My eyes tore away from his to snort the neatly packed line in a fell swoop. A tingling sensation trickled up my nostrils instantly leaving an unsavory drip down my throat. Revulsion came over me as I took a long sip of my drink.

The man had a steady chortle going when he took his line. He dropped the bill dramatically on the table afterwards and sprawled back in his chair, searching his pant pockets. I rubbed a finger under my nose as he lit a cigarette.

"Just wait for it, princess." He puffed smoke. "And whatever you do, just enjoy the ride."

My throat suddenly felt very dry. When I went to take another sip from my glass I realized nothing but droplets touched my tongue. Did I really finish all of my cocktail?

I stood up hastily. "Thank you." I said. Or at least, I think I did. The scruffy suit never glanced my way again.

Trudging along the upstairs hall I could feel a prickling start to caress the tip of my toes, traveling up my entire body. It made me topple against the wall as my vision whirled my perspective. This hallway seemed a lot longer than I remembered.

The faint sounds of all of the party goers wafted through the air, mixing laughter with unintelligible speech. It created a dizzying effect that spun ceaselessly between my ears. A never-ending nightmare of phantoms danced with me all the way to my bedroom.

I slammed the door in a panic, shutting out the noise and colors. The deafening change drew attention to my rapidly beating heart. I surveyed my room with teetering sight wishing I could focus on anything in particular. The drug was beginning to make me light on my feet. I let out an unwarranted giggle.

My fingers splayed across my mouth as I pranced to the center of the room. Inhaling was like fueling myself for take off. I imagined taking one leap that'd whisk me away into the starry sky. I'd use those balls of light as steps to the ethereal moon where I would waltz with the magical man whom lived there. He must be so lonesome.

I sighed, the chill of the night enveloped me as I span in circles. It was exciting, this induced thrill. I swept towards the open balcony where the breeze originated. I ran my now sweaty palms along the railing. The view of this side of the house faced the garden that no one really frequented. Even though it was always tended to. I made a mental note to explore it one day.

Lingering from my thoughts my grey eyes spotted the sharply tipped iron gates enclosing the entire property. I stood, bending over on my tiptoes to examine each triangular point. If I went head first, impaling my brain, there was a likelihood I wouldn't survive. I've punctured organs before but nothing as serious as the heart or brain.

Then again, I tilted my head to the side, with the way I was feeling now I might just really soar off into the distance instead. What did it matter if either were to happen? I truly had nothing to live for.

I kicked my heels off and hooked a leg over the cold steel. Once I was completely over, I let my hands loosely grip the bar on either side of myself. Fluttering my eyes, I swayed letting the momentum of the breeze carry me. This was it. All of the events of my life had led up to this one, single means to an end. I didn't care what was to happen to me. I had nothing to gain but more importantly, I had nothing to lose. I'd die off with the rest of the family I personally buried.

I let go.

The weightless sensation was welcoming at first. It only lasted a second but it almost felt like I was flying. Then the fluid free fall abruptly reversed and I found myself being retracted back to the balcony. I opened my eyes before I was completely dragged over the black steel, watching the iron fence grow smaller.

Confused, I peered at the arms securing my waist, those familiar tattoos horrifying me.

"No" I struggled. "Let me go!"

He made no coherent sounds other than grunting as he lugged me into my bedroom. I twisted against him, trying to fend off his inhuman grip. "Stop it!"

He threw me unceremoniously onto the carpet and locked the balcony doors behind him. His face was menacing as he approached me. I crawled backwards still trying to get my bearings. His continued silence, terrifying.

The clown ripped me up from the floor and pinned me into my bed with a forearm. His weight pressed against my throat. He brought his face close to mine attempting to get a good sense of where I was in the midst of my trip. My floaty feelings instantaneously vanished.

He cackled in my face, "Angel dust?" Joker repositioned his hands, one to hold my shoulder down and another to parallel my visage to his. I was still tearing at his hands. "Who do you think you are?"

I wriggled my chin free, shaking, "No!"

He grinned and climbed fully onto the bed now placing a knee between my legs. He added more weight, initially subduing me. His hands never moved other than to grasp my neck this time. My eyes couldn't look away from his icy hues. "You don't get it, do you?"

His painted lips smiled as he let his thumb trace my bottom lip, the gleam of his metal teeth illuminating. "You're mine." He let our noses touch. "That means, you do what I want you to do. Whether that's sewing your pretty mouth shut or killing your entire family, doesn't matter. You do it."

I didn't like the implication of sewing my mouth closed, but I knew what he meant. His breathing became ragged as he inched closer still. "And you die, when I say you die."

I let out a tiny exhale before he smashed his lips against mine. My right hand came up to grab at the shoulder of his halfway unbuttoned, button down. My instincts told me to push him off but my heart was like putty in his wicked embrace. He sent my head spinning, mentally and psychically exhausting me.

This hot and cold nature perplexed any understanding I fought to muster. He called Harley his number one girl yet here he was entangled with me. J's tongue prodded my mouth, demanding entrance. I let him in indulging his fervent lust.

His wanting mouth trailed heated bites and kisses to the dip of my neck. I sucked on my bottom lip wondering if it was just easier to give in. He pulled away to analyze my face. "You're thinking too much."

There it was again. "How do you always seem to read my mind?" I inquired, breathlessly.

He tugged on a strap of my dress. "I've figured it out, Chrysalis." My brows furrowed. "What I've really come to like about you."

Joker's hand stretched down between us, pulling at something in his pants pocket. A switch blade flicked out in between our faces. His capped teeth glinted beyond the object.

"You're potential." He poised before slashing the blade down the inside of my left forearm.

I screamed but he muffled me with his mouth as he held my arm still. My vocals were an unusual blend of pain and pleasure. The wound stung, soaking in the muggy air around us. However, this didn't stop the goosebumps running over my flesh with each contact he made. His free hand jerked at my dress.

A few minutes into this bloody mess he lifted from me to examine my arm. He threw his head back in a cackle. I was so out of breath, I couldn't even ask him why. Though I didn't have to wait long to find out.

Joker pulled my forearm into my line of sight, grinning. Amidst the smeared blood the inflicted wound had completely healed. It left no indication it was even there to begin with.

"Do you see it?" He gushed. "You could be beaten, shot, cut, or worse. Who knows? But you'd still come out alive!"

I felt unsettled. "Do you envision doing all of these things to me?"

He closed his crazed eyes, letting his head fall back slightly. He was purely euphoric. More shivers accompanied the bumps along my skin. He inhaled and exhaled deeply before opening his blue eyes. A new hunger swirled in the depths of his soul.

"You could learn to like it." The clown brought the blade down the center of my dress. He purposely slide it close to the surface of my flesh to leave a beady trail in it's wake. His fingers peeled away the fabric from my chest. "Maybe even love it."

I found myself panting, aching to be touched. Something in the way he moved in his gentle, threatening nature left me wanting. I didn't have a chance to fear him because he just made me feel so good. My nerve endings deciding what's best over my logic.

My fingers dared to slip behind each of his earlobes, cradling his face. He held my gaze with mirroring lust. It was my turn to let my thumb smooth over his moderately ajar mouth. He rarely seemed to fully close it and ever since the dressing room incident, I've wanted to caress that protruding bottom lip. I was elated he let me.

Joker set the knife down on the bedside table. His fingers worked the rest of the buttons on his shirt, peeling off the fabric. It was unbelievable how ripped he was. His body was so narrow and slender but his shoulders were broad. More tattoos adorned his pale skin. I reached to trace the grinning mouth until he caught me by the wrist.

He shook his head, "I think I've been generous enough for one day."

I bit at my bottom lip, he was torturing me. A mischievous smile played across those lips as he ran a hand from my abdomen, between my breasts, and curled his fingers around my throat. I couldn't contain my content sigh.

He brought my wrist to his mouth while admiring the squirm of my body. His facial features told me he was contemplating his next move. The irony. I was impatient though, this wasn't a game of chess. The tickle of his breathe sent electricity straight to my spine and I arched my hips.

This action caused him to growl. "Don't misbehave." He warned.

I pinched my bottom lip hard between my teeth, letting the blood drip from my mouth. His eyes instantly held excitement as he let my wrist drop. Was this all I had to do? Entertain his violent tendencies?

"Or do." He whispered before plunging forward for my lips. My willingness to indulge in his disturbed fantasies fueled his passion. He nipped at my neck again as his hands blindly tore the rest of my dress away. The clown's eager movements fumbled with the hook of his belt buckle.

I continued to roll into him letting my hands skim the top of his back. Mister J was so far lost in his deviant desires he didn't even bother to brush me away. His skin surprisingly soft beneath my touch.

His metal teeth scraped over my collar bone making my nails dig into his shoulders. My head fell back as his long digits skillfully pushed my lingerie to the side, finally getting his pants undone. I waited with blissful anticipation. He gave me a rough thrust.

I moaned, loudly, ensnaring my finger tips within his neon hair. His rhythm started out frantic and harsh, like the first time. Then he'd slow his pace letting me catch my breath before taking me all over again. I could already foresee this session being much longer.

Our lips met briefly as he let a hand travel to a breast. A fire ignited on my skin with every new area he stroked. I was so entranced in the moment that I didn't even care at how loud I was being. He didn't seem to mind either, although he was a lot quieter this time. No manic speech or slew of curses.

He grunted and hissed with each grinding motion. My legs held fast around his waist feeling tingling in my abdomen. Would he let me this time? My face flushed as I buried it into his neck.

My senses were so heightened that I became hyper aware of each sweaty, interaction between our flesh. I savored every minute of it. A mantra of a few words formed in my mind threatening to fall from my lips. It teetered up my vocal cords trying to tug at the corners of my mouth. It was becoming increasingly arduous to keep myself from bursting.

I wanted to cry and I wasn't entirely sure why.

I took a chance and bit back the word vomit into his neck, just below the ear. He exhaled letting my name carry with it. Well, almost.

"Chrysalis…"

It was barely audible but it was enough to unhinge me completely. I let the one thing I had ventured to contain flow repeatedly over the hand of cards tattooed near the crook of his neck. Over and over it poured in a feverish murmur.

He only chuckled heartily at my heated confession, both hands gliding up my frame to wrap around my esophagus. This time he meant to strangle me. His phantom eyebrows raised with his sinful smile. My finger tips coiled at his hands, realizing he was waiting for my permission.

Of course he was. If I gave him the green light it would mean he'd have won. It'd mean he was right, as always.

His hips still swayed back and forth into me at a more leisurely pace. He let out a breathy huff, "Make up your mind, doll. I can't keep this up much longer."

There was nothing more satisfying then hearing his version of begging. One would argue it was nothing like that, just another manipulative way of getting what he wanted. The funny thing is, I didn't care. I'd let him have it all if it meant remaining this close to him. He had me. He had all of me.

"Do it." I flushed, my eyes fixed to his.

Joker's cackle was thunderous, echoing throughout the entire room. The pressure of his hold cut off my airway. Plopping sounds, like a fish out of water, escaped me. I know the whole point was to choke but that didn't stop my brain from trying to keep me alive.

Naturally, I wanted to thrash about and throw him off me. Resisting the urge became less difficult as my vision started to falter. From what I could make out of his face his teeth tugged at his lower lip, coming in with an aggressive finish.

I didn't witness it at all, however. I floated off into a sea of blackness. A glorious howl of pleasure becoming my only comfort through this endless night.

What'd ya guys think? I wonder what Harley has to truly say about all of this? ;)

Stay tuned for the next chapter to find out! And again, thank you for all of the reviews/favs/follows. You're all awesome!