Hope you guys like this one. Have a great weekend!

Wick's POV

He doesn't sleep once when he gets home from work on Monday morning.

First he takes a shower and then he stares forlornly at his bedroom wall. After that there's some time spent picking at food and more lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. He tries not to think about anything. Not Raven, not his own stupid words, not his parents. He ends up thinking about all of it.

Instead of lying in bed and torturing himself further he gets up to work on plans for the rocket, but he realises that he hasn't done anything on it since she'd stolen the plans off of his coffee table a few weeks ago. He doesn't know what she's done with it. He doesn't even know if she's still working on it. The words that he'd spat at her about the project sit with him in a way that makes him want nothing more than to wipe the sound from his memory.

For a second he looks at the closet, the one stuffed with old belongings and sentimental crap that he hasn't touched since he had crammed it all in there the day he moved in. Today wasn't the day to pull it out, he decides. That would just make him hate everything even more.

His phone taunts him and he keeps looking at it, as if she would contact him. Of course she wasn't going to. He didn't blame her.

February 15th sucks balls, he decides as he stares up at his bedroom ceiling. He doesn't know which sound is louder in his head. The one of cars crashing or the one of a door slamming. He hates them both.

Somehow he knew an apology wasn't going to get him very far. There was a line that he had crossed with Raven and there was no excuse or 'I'm sorry' that could fix it. He tries not to consider the fact that he probably just drove her off for good. All because he'd been selfish and sad and too much in love.

He had hurt her. She shouts it right in his face, her cheeks flushed and her eyes fixed and her voice wavering and it remains him all over again at the anger she had felt Saturday night because of her mom. Only this time it wasn't Raven's mom who had caused her to bite her lip in an attempt to keep from crying or left her with shaking shoulders and clenched fists. It was entirely him. Wick had done this to her. The fact isn't one he can dispute and it hits him so much harder than any other 'woe is me' thought he'd been entertaining before. It didn't matter what sort of day today was. It doesn't make a damn difference if she was reserved and cautious and giving him everything just to take it all away a moment later. None of it is of the least bit importance. All that matters is that she was hurt and it was his fault and he didn't deserve for her to ever look at him with that light in her eyes or that smile on her face again.

The rest of Monday he spends being melodramatic home alone, but Tuesday is another day off and everything is fucked up anyway so he figures, why not go for a drink.

For the first time he's the one inviting everyone else out. A guys only sort of thing, he figures, to save himself the drama of what he was sure would be knowing looks from Clarke and angry glares from Octavia. That is, if Raven had told her friends what a dick he was. If she had, he didn't really think any of the guys would take him up on his offer either.

In the end Jasper is working (which means Raven is not and that is the slightest bit of relief to Wick) and Monty has a raid planned for his online game. Miller says no as soon as Monty says he isn't going and then it somehow ends up being just Wick and Bellamy. (Lincoln never replies but Wick gets the feeling that he wouldn't have wanted to come anyway.)

Since it's just the two of them and their actual grown ass adults, they go to a bar. When he gets there the place seems too loud and the people too old, but he doesn't care that much and finds Bellamy at a stool on the end of the bar.

It's a little dark and Wick is now glad for how loud it is because there wasn't much noise happening between the two of them. They both order a beer and Bellamy drinks it back like a hard worn veteran and Wick sips at his almost guiltily.

"So," Bellamy says and Wick kind of just nods, as if he agreed with that 'so.' They go back to silence.

Both of them get a refill. Wick mostly just toys with the napkin his drink sat on.

"My little sister's pregnant." Bellamy says, draining the last of the liquid from the cup.

"I know," Wick says without thinking. Thankfully Bellamy just laughs.

"Was there anyone who didn't know before me?" he asks, shaking his head.

The air is heavy with the scent of perfume and peanuts and Wick finds the smell a little bit suffocating. "I doubt anyone told Monty or Jasper," he says.

"It'd be up on their blog signed off 'xoxo Gossip Girl' if someone had," Bellamy replies with a shake of his head and a hand up for the bartender to fill him up once more.

Wick didn't know if the blog thing was a joke or not but he also didn't really care enough to ask about it. "Are you pissed?" he asks because he can't really think of what else to ask. Excited didn't quite seem like the right word for this situation.

"I don't even know," he sighs, scratching at the counter top with disinterest. "She's exhausting to try and take care of. That I do know." He says it with a sort of chuckle but he sounds too tired for it to be a real laugh.

"Lincoln's a good guy," Wick says even though he doesn't really know much about the rather large man. He just saw the way he looked at Octavia. That was enough to decide whether he was decent or not.

Bellamy just kind of grunts in response to that and pushes his beer away from him. New subject, Wick decides. "So why did you need to go out and drink on a Tuesday night," Bellamy asks before Wick has a chance to change the conversation to something lighter.

Now it's his turn to scoff. "Well first my parents died in a car accident three years ago as of yesterday and then because I was pissed off at the world I decided it would be a good idea to turn around and piss off Raven."

Bellamy blows out a harsh breath. "Bad idea," he says. "Hell hath no fury like Raven Reyes." He sounds disinterested enough that Wick would not be surprised if someone had told him already.

For whatever reason Wick likes that he doesn't touch on the dead parents thing. Perhaps he sort of liked Bellamy after all.

"What'd you do to her?" Well maybe not.

With a sigh Wick knocks back a few sloppy drinks of his own beer. "Something awful," he says, leaning his elbows on the bar and his head in his hands. Every time he thought through the exchange he hated himself all over again. "I essentially accused her of using me."

There's nothing but silence to answer him so he picks up his head to look in Bellamy's direction. The look he gets is somewhere between disappointed and pissed. He felt like he did when his dad found out that he'd rear ended someone back in high school and tried to drive away after. "I don't know if I should kick your ass or let you keep talking," he gruffs, going back to his drink.

"I know," Wick answers. "I definitely deserve to have my ass kicked." And then some.

"Listen, I have one crazy, pain in the ass little sister and that's about all I can handle," Bellamy says, his hand running down the side of his glass and collecting the condensation. "But Raven somehow managed to kind of worm her way in as the second one anyway. She's been around for years and I know she seems tough and hard core, but she's fragile and life has been taking a shit on her since she was born pretty much. She doesn't need someone else adding to what she's already got against her."

As if that was news. "I was being an idiot. I didn't mean a word of what I said…and she didn't deserve it either."

"She deserves someone who will give her the world," Bellamy says, his eyes glancing to the clock and back to his beer. He pushes it away again. "If you're willing to do that then you better come back to her ready to prove it. And if you're not…then take a step back and help in the ways she'll let you without getting spooked. It's what the rest of us do and sometimes I think it's the only thing that keeps her around."

It seemed like sound advice but Wick saw the flaws. He knew what happened when you pushed Raven a little bit too far. He knew how worn down and weary she was. He knew that her tough exterior was slipping by the day. Taking a step back wasn't what any of them needed to do. Not now. She needed everyone to step up to the plate as much as possible.

"But, Kyle?"

"Yeah?" he asks, his name unfamiliar coming from someone he barely even knew.

"If you fuck with her heart I swear I'll end you." It might be a commonplace threat, but Wick could feel the barely hidden rage beneath it. As if Bellamy was already on the brink of destroying Wick, just based off of what he had heard tonight. It made him wonder what sort of damage Bellamy had seen when Finn had broken her heart. It was no wonder he wanted to protect her.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Waiting to be forgiven had never been one of Wick's strong points. He could say he was sorry and admit he was wrong and even get a bit sentimental if he needed to, but he never got very good at handling the fact that he was at someone else's mercy to be forgiven. As a kid he would say he was sorry to his sister after stealing her Barbie or pulling her hair or, you know, farting on her face, and he figured that was that. But when she got a bit older and realised that when someone said you were sorry didn't mean you had to accept it? Shit got real.

There were a variety of methods that she could use to go about getting her "I'm angry and hate you" stance across. The silent treatment, pretending he didn't exist, withholding a pretend secret, even once in a while going in and trashing his room (which needed a good cleaning before she even got to it so of course telling his parents got him nowhere because 'Kyle, your room is never clean. Why would we believe your sister wrecked it? We know you're just trying to get out of cleaning it.') That was the most frustrating of all.

So he would follow her around the house and do extra chores and write notes with excessive amounts of I'm sorry's and suck up in any way possible. Until finally the little diva relented and looked at him or spoke to him or revealed that her secret was something stupid like what they were eating for dinner that night. (She never fessed up to destroying his room. She was too clever for that.)

Except being at Raven's mercy for forgiveness was ten times worse. Partially because he fucked up to the point where he probably wouldn't have forgiven himself and partially because it wasn't like with his sister. She wouldn't be forced to see him and live with him and eventually forgive him because their parents intervened. Raven could just decide to hate him forever and that would be that.

Worst part is that he can't even blame her.

He considers going to her house and quickly rules that out as a terrible idea. He thinks of the store or cornering her in the hospital or even just waiting it out and trying to see if she would come to him first. He knows she would hate a big gesture, and he knows that there isn't really anyway to make this up to her. Not when he's been this big of an ass.

It was never really his intention to talk to his aunt about the whole ordeal, but she calls him Thursday night before he goes to work and she's yammering on about how Sasha got one of her baby teeth knocked out for five minutes before he starts trying to get her off the phone. "Alright, Aunt Mary Ann, I really need to get to work now."

"Hm," she muses and he knows whatever she asks next isn't going to be something he likes. "That's where you know your friend Raven from, isn't it?"

He wonders if she means for the emphasis behind the word friend to be as obvious as it is. "Yes. My friend…I hope."

She tuts and he can see her doing that thing where she juts out her hip and put a hand on it. "What do you mean you hope? You two were adorable together over Christmas."

He sighs, "It's a long story."

The reaction he expected wasn't quite of the same calibre as the one he got. "Don't you it's a long story me, mister. Not only do you look at her like she's royalty, she looks at you like you're the happiest damn thing she's seen in years. I've never seen a person who smiled so little and yet could look so happy. Don't tell me you ruined that precious girl's joy now, Kyle."

"Aunt Mary Ann…" he's not emotionally stable enough for this conversation.

"I mean it. She's beautiful and smart and the most polite house guest I've had in years. Don't tell me she's not going to be my niece in a few years down the line just because your dumbass couldn't get your act together and give her what she deserves."

"I said some awful stuff to her. The anniversary of Mom and Dad's death…I said the sort of thing that someone doesn't get over."

There's silence on the other end as his aunt considers what he's told her. "Well what'd you do that for?"

"Because," he answers, vague and empty and without any actual answer. She doesn't say anything else and Wick knows she'll wait forever if she has to. ("I'm retired, it's not like I have anything better to do.") "She kissed me and then she took off and I was worried and I love her."

"She doesn't love you back?"

"No. Maybe. I have no fucking clue."

"Language," she warns. The f-bomb had always been strictly forbidden in her household. "Is that why you said the things you did then, because you're angry at her for not reciprocating your feelings?"

"No! God, no," he sighs, thinking for the first time how else Raven could have taken his reaction. Dammit. "I never even…I wasn't looking for that from her. But I already had Mom and Dad on my mind and I was up all night and I just wanted to be angry and lousy and terrible to someone and she was easiest to do that to."

"Why?" her question is soft and leading and gentle.

"Because she was there and she's a pain in the ass sometimes and…I guess I took for granted that our friendship is one built on a hell of a lot of trust and a shit ton of honesty and I lashed out because normally she just gives it right back to me."

"Are you sorry?" she asks him, and now more than ever he feels like a child. "For the things you said to her."

Of course, he thinks. "I wish I could take it back, but I can't." Usually he was good for a joke at any given time. He found the lightness and the joy and the easy times no matter what. This situation with Raven had left him far more on the emo, sappy lines than he cared to admit.

"Then you go tell her that," his aunt insists. "You tell her what you told me then."

Easier said than done, he thinks. "If she'll bother listening."

He can almost feel his aunt's reassuring cheek pat through the phone. "Trust me, Kyle. Anyone who lights up the way that girl does for you is willing to listen."

For his sake he hopes she's right.

When he walks through the doors to the front desk at ten pm on Thursday the conversation from his aunt is still fresh in his mind. So is the speech he rehearsed in front of the employee bathroom mirror four times. He walked out and the nurse Jackson gave him a look as though he thought the bathroom would never be the same again.

She looks up at him with contempt and an icy chill spreads through the whole damn hospital in two seconds flat. "Go away, Wick," she says a few decibels too high and with her teeth clenched tight.

Safe to say she was still mad. "Just let me talk."

"Look where that got you last time," she shoots back, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't do excuses," she tells him and he already knows why. There are enough excuses from the people in her life as it is. A mother excused by illness. A boyfriend excused by desperation. Herself excused by having no choice at all.

"Too bad I'm such a sorry excuse for a friend," he tries to lighten the mood and she doesn't even react. Standing there in front of her he realises that there isn't a way to do this right. No magical combination of words or right timing for dramatic pauses or begging eyes will get Raven to forgive him. When she's good and ready to forgive him, or if, is when it will happen.

"I don't blame you for hating me, you know," he says and he settles into the chair across from her desk because it made this whole terrible thing feel less whole and less terrible. His feet go up to prop on the corner and he crosses one ankle over the other. "If words were Mortal Kombat moves then I went straight up 'Finish him' on your ass." Nothing. "And I know I'm a dick but just because it rhymes with my last name doesn't mean I can get away with it."

"Cute," she deadpans.

"We can go have angry sex if that will make this better." Okay, if her face is any indication that was the wrong thing to say. "Kidding."

She fixes him with the sort of stare that she generally reserves for when she likes him. It's a surprise but he essentially stops blinking because he doesn't want her to realise she's doing it and change her mind. "I don't do heartfelt apologies," she tells him and he doesn't know if that means that she's the forgive and forget type or if you need to heartfelt apologise over anything then too bad so sad for you. "And I don't use people."

"Raven, god, I know that." He sits up, putting his feet on the floor and sitting on the edge of his chair so he's that much closer to her. "I said what I said because I was having a shitty day and you…okay let me ask you a question." She doesn't agree but she also doesn't tell him to shut up so he keeps going. "Did you ever say something really terrible to Finn? Like something that you knew would ruin him because you were angry at your mom or yourself or Octavia?"

She chews on her lip, eyes narrowed. "Yeah," she finally answers but her eyes move away from his for a second as she says it. "Just because I've done it though doesn't mean-"

"Not what I'm saying," he cuts her off which, in retrospect, might not have been his best move. "My point is that sometimes things really suck and there isn't a way to make them suck less so we just…take out all those sucky feelings on someone else as if it will make us feel better."

"Really winning me over here."

"And you do that sort of shit to the people you love and trust and care about. And dammit Raven Reyes I know I made an ass of myself Monday morning and I know I said awful things and I know you didn't deserve a single one but… Saturday night you took off and it scared me. Then Monday morning things were weird and I was in a shitty mood and I took it out on you even though it wasn't fair and I didn't even mean it."

Her hand disappears beneath the desk and he knows she's doing that rubbing her knee thing all over again. "Okay," is all she offers him.

"Um, okay?" he asks since that really doesn't tell him anything at all.

"Take your okay and get the hell out of here before I change my mind," she spits out and he stands in a hurry, almost knocking the chair over in the process.

"Okay," he says, just to be cheeky but she looks at him with daggers which only spur him on further. He gives her a thumbs up on the way out the door and he's not sure if he imagines it or not, but he would dare to say he sees the ghost of a smile on the edge of her lips.