A/N- What? You thought this was over? You really thought you can get out of this story so easily?
Lol.
Steven opened his eyes to find an endless stretch of pink clouds in front of him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes groggily. He got to his feet and yawned, reaching behind him to scratch his ass.
"Pearl, Garnet, any breakfast, toast and corn flakes?" He mumbled out sleepily, not yet realizing exactly where he was. When he received no answer from Pearl or Garnet, he looked up to see the vast emptiness. That definitely woke him up.
"Huh? Where am I? Did I sleep walk into Mom's room again?" He asked himself, he looked around some more, trying to see if he could spot the Temple door among the clouds.
"No you didn't, my little egg mcmuffin, you are in the dream world." He heard a familiar voice behind him. He gasped and whipped around to see Rose standing there, looking very nonchalant. He felt tears well in his eyes.
"Mom?" He whispered, his voice watery. Rose hummed, looking at her nails.
"Queen is here." She replied simply, disinterested. Steven ran to his mom, intent on hugging her, but she pushed him away and huffed.
"Do not touch me with those filthy hands; I know what you do under the covers!" She scolded him. Stevens drew his hands back, looking very offended. He sniffled.
"You don't want a Steven hug?" He whimpered. Rose scoffed, turning away from him and sitting down on the floor of clouds.
"Stop being sensitive and sit down you little shit, mamma gon tell you a story." Rose said. Steven let out an excited gasp, forgetting his previous distress; he ran to Rose's side and sat down next to her, smiling at her.
"Story for Steven!" He whooped out, throwing his hands in the hair and effectively smacking Rose upside the head. He winced and looked at Rose, who was rubbing her cheek.
"Sorry." He said meekly, Rose turned to look at him, her face blank.
"You know, the last person that bitched slapped me name was Pink diamond, and you know what happened to her." Rose said in a false cheerful tone. Steven nodded.
"Yeah, about that-" He began, but Rose shushed him.
"Not now, my little mistake, I'm telling you a real story, not any that biased shit those failures have been telling you." Rose said, patting his back as she began.
Rose was a lot of things: A leader, a lover, a friend, a Moon nonbeliever, a Pimp, A Hole Enthusiast, An Active Third-Person Speaker, a moderator on the deep web forum 'Underground Families'. However, if there was nothing that NONE of the gems ever expected her to be, was a lamp. It all started when Humans finally invented the light-bulb, which of course led to the invention of the lamp. The moment she saw a lamp she was absolutely fascinated, and from then on she knew what she wanted to be in life.
It was stormy day in beach city, and without natural lighting or artificial light near the temple, it was as black Yellow Pearl's cold, dead heart. On this day, some people described it as gloomy, sad, or 'Just another Saturday, you fucking twatwaffle'. (As described by Mr. Manfry) But for Rose, this day was legendary. This was the day she would live out her days as a lamp. So she crept into one of the many tunnels in the Temple, perched on top of a nightstand she had bought previously and shape shifted herself into a lamp, light bulb and all.
It took a while for the Gems to notice Rose's sudden disappearance, or the fact that they had suddenly acquired a new lamp overnight. Garnet passed by her without a second glance, Pearl would occasionally examine her before muttering 'It reminds me of Rose', then she would leave the room to go 'Polish her swords', and Amethyst would sometimes store human hands into the drawers of her nightstand. When they finally noticed that the lamp was Rose, they were not very amused by their leader's shenanigans.
"Rose, for the love of the stars, please stop being a lamp." Pearl prompted her. Rose said nothing, as she was a lamp. Garnet tried next.
"Rose, without your guidance, we will be lost and confused, so please, stop being a lamp" Garnet had said. Rose still said nothing, as she had become one with the way of the lamp. Finally, Amethyst tried.
"Can I join you?" Amethyst said excitedly. Rose said nothing, because she was a lamp. Still, Amethyst squealed and climbed up on the nightstand with her, turning into a lamp as well. Pearl groaned and smacked her forehead.
"Not you too! Garnet, tell her to- GARNET!" Pearl shrieked at her comrade, who was shape shifted into a Power Conduit, with Amethyst and Rose plugged into her sockets. She heard Garnet's voice come from the socket.
"Don't ruin the fun, poser" Garnets voice commanded. Pearl groaned out loud.
"Why do I live with idiots?" She asked herself, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. The Lamps and the Conduit didn't reply, instead they sat there... being lamps and conduits. Pearl stared at them; temptation was getting to her, she didn't like to be left out. She fidgeted slightly, and then turned around, sticking her nose into the air.
"No, I will not stoop to your level of ridiculousness." She said to herself more then to the others. She felt an urge start to take over. She sighed, giving in.
"Alright, just this once." She said, she walked over to the nightstand and crawled up it, then she shaped shifted into a coaster.
They remained there for years, not even stopping to get rid of corrupted monsters. Although to be fair, years did only feel like days to gems, so it wasn't like they were aware of how long they were various items of furniture. Surprisingly enough through, Garnet was the first to crack, reverting back to her previous form, she panted slightly, exhausted from remaining in shape for so long.
"I'm out; Rose and Amethyst can only be inside of me for so long until I crack." She said, turning around and walking off to her room. Only a week later, Pearl cracked next, she was sobbing as she reverted back.
"I'm never shape shifting again!" She bitched, before running off crying like a little bitch to her room. Finally, Amethyst broke, reverting back, mumbling about 'sacrificing to our lord chin-chin.' while dragging her whip behind her. Rose stayed as a lamp, however, for a long, long time. Exactly 100 years, in fact; no amount of coaxing from the gems could get her to revert back. Finally, one day, while the Gems were talking to the lamp, Rose entered the tunnel.
"Hey guys, what are you up to?" Rose asked them, setting down a bound and gagged human man on the floor. He whimpered and attempted to crawl away from Rose, but she put her foot on top of him. The gems stared at her, jaws dropped.
"Y-You weren't a lamp at all?!" Pearl sputtered, looking back and forth between the lamp and Rose. Rose gave her a confused look.
"No, I was out getting me some dick. Why would I be a lamp?" Rose asked. The gems didn't answer, still staring at her. She shrugged and picked up the human man. She growled at him.
"Come on baby, let's get sexy." She whispered into his ear gruffly as she walked to her room. The gems trailed her with their eyes, before fainting.
"So you wanted to be a lamp, but you never were?" Steven asked slowly, looking up at his mom. She scoffed.
"Why would I be a lamp when the average Male dick size is 4.7 to 6.3 inches?" She asked him giddy. Steven looked at her strangely. She laughed and leaned close to him.
"Don't worry about it, your dad is hung." She whispered to him. Steven's eyes widened and he looked down at his shorts. Rose laughed again, standing up.
"Alright, well, that's my story about me; it's time for you to wake up." She said. She clapped her hands.
Steven jolted awake; he looked around to see his room. He fell back to his pillow and sighed.
"It wasn't her; it was just a vivid dream." He said sadly. He rolled over, and fell back into a dreamless state.
A/N- I was going to finish this story off with that last chapter, but honestly I'm having too much fun writing Rose as a weirdo.
Who should tell Steven a story next? I don't know, I'm making this up as I go along; though I am open to suggestion, characters and what the story should be about.