A/N- Wow, I actually got suggestions. I'm surprised; I thought no one actually cared enough for this story to suggest ideas ;). I jest of course, there has to be SOME enjoyment if people keep coming back to it, either because they hate or love it.

Steven awoke in a sleepy daze. He was unsure if he was actually awake or he was dreaming again. Wiping the sleep out of his eyes, he looked around to find that he was at his house and not the haven of pink clouds. Yawning, Steven stretched and lifted himself from the bed. He was vaguely aware of the fact that the Gems haven't seemed to move from their spot from the fireplace, as if frozen in time because the narrator hasn't brought them back to the story. However, when he stepped down the stairs, the Gems seemed to snap to attention, looking at him and smiling.

"Oh, Steven! Did you sleep well?" Pearl asked him. He shrugged as he walked towards the fridge. He paused though, as if remembering something.

"Hey guys," He started, his voice unsure "Did Mom ever become a lamp?"

The Gems looked at him strangely. Garnet answered for him.

"Rose did a lot of things that we don't understand. Including being a lamp" Steven nodded at her answer, slightly concerned about the way the Gems seemed to stare off into space at the mention of Rose being a lamp. He opened the fridge and fished out a donut, as per his usual breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He faltered slightly.

"Hey, do we ever buy any other foods besides donuts, pizza, and waffles?" He asked the gems. They did not answer, as they were too busy getting raging hard-ons at the mention of Rose. He sighed softly as he made his way to the door.

"I'm going to hang out with dad" Steven said. The Gems ignored him, as they were in Rose Limbo at the moment.

As Steven walked down the boardwalk, he noticed a strange lack of environment and character, almost as if SOMEONE had forgotten to mention them. He shrugged this off of course as he made his way to his Dad's car wash. As he entered the vicinity, he noticed his dad was drunk and passed out again. Grinning, he ran up to him.

"Hey dad!" Steven screamed in his ear. Greg jumped up and swung a bong around.

"You aren't taking my weed, fuckers!" Greg snarled. He noticed Steven in front of him. He laughed nervously and threw his bong behind him.

"Oh! Stew-ball! H-how long have you been here?" He said nervously, scratching the back of his head. Steven smiled at him. Greg laughed nervously once more.

"So, what brings you here?" He quickly changed the subject. Steven walked over to open van and sat down on it.

"Well, the Gems are all in their "I wish Rose was on top of me" Mood again, so I came here." Steven said quietly. Greg sighed, walking over to sit next to his son.

"Again? What did it this time?" Greg asked gently, placing a hand on his son's back. Steven sighed.

"Well, I asked them if Rose ever became a lamp, and they got all sad" Steven said. Greg stared at him. His eye twitched slightly.

"Y-You're joking right? That's what did it?" Greg said in disbelief. Steven nodded. Greg sighed, smacking a hand on his head. He stayed like that for a while. He chuckled softly, causing Steven to look at him with question. Greg saw this and smiled, leaning back.

"You know, that kind of reminds me of Rose," He started "She used to get all emotional like that. It became even worse when she decided that she was going to go through a 13 year old Emo phase."

Steven gasped and scrambled into the van, fishing out Greg's guitar and shoving it into his hands.

"Storytime!" Steven said excitedly. Greg scoffed and threw the guitar to the ground.

"No son, this is not a musical story. This is a story of edginess. Son, fetch me my bong." Greg said gruffly. Steven nodded and went back inside the van, finding the bong on top of playboy magazines. He grabbed it and handed it to his dad, who took a hit from it.

"Alright, let's do this"

Rose was A LOT of things, if you couldn't tell. She was a leader, a lover, a friend, a moon nonbeliever, a diamond breaker, a pimp, a hole enthusiast, a lamp, a queen. I, for one, didn't really expect to add 'Emo' to that list. It happened quite suddenly, actually. One day, rose was all cheerful and happy, then the next day, she was wearing black and... Well, that was it. She didn't really understand emo, only the stereotypes she had heard of.

But BOY did she become emotional. Every other day was ' Fuck this' or "I'm going to write poetry about my life". It got even worse when she found out about Edgar Allen Poe and began reciting his poetry every night while in a dark closet with a single candle lit.

"Rose, come on, this has got to stop" Greg said, brushing his thinning hair behind his ears. Rose grunted, more focused on carving a pentagram in a wall then Greg.

"I told you that my name is Ivory Light Alzheimer's Crow Endnow, and I won't listen to you." Rose growled out. It was a literal growl; she had been practicing her growls now. She can now 'Oh wa wa wa' like a Professional. Greg sighed, slapping a hand over his head.

"Rose, this isn't even Emo, it's just trying too hard." He groaned out. Rose whipped her head to glare at him, her eyeliner streaming down her face from the sheer quantity of it.

"I am Emo! This isn't a phase!" Rose snapped, she stopping carving the pentagram and adjusted her corset; she turned around and stomped away, muttering.

"I'm going to write poetry," Greg sighed, rubbing his head.

"I'm getting too old for this shit."

Rose stomped out of her room, glaring at the gems who were lounging around the warp pad.

"WHO BURNED MY BAND TEES?" Rose shouted. Garnet sighed, and walked towards her.

"It was for your own good Rose." Garnet said. Rose gasped, clenching her heart, and backing away from the fusion. She shook her head violently, her dyed black hair whipping her in the face.

"Did you just assume my alignment?! WHO SAID I WAS GOOD?" Rose sputtered. Garnet stared at her, and then turned on her heel, throwing her hands in the air.

"I give up!" She said, walking out of the temple and towards the beach. The remaining gems looked at each other, and then looked to the third guest. He sighed and made his way to Rose, who was hyperventilating.

"Rose" Greg started. Rose grabbed her head.

"MY NAME IS IVORY!" She screeched. She jumped to her feet and glared at Greg.

"Don't underestimate me; I will sacrifice you to the Dark Lord Cthulhu!" Rose said, summoning her shield and pulling her sword from her gem, both of which she had dyed black and painted skulls over the roses. She stepped towards Greg, who took a step back. He laughed nervously, holding his hands up in surrender.

"H-Hey now, let's not do anything too r-rash here!" He stuttered. Rose growled, and then snapped her head up to Pearl.

"Pearl, where's my Hot Topic Membership card?! I'm about to cut a bitch!" Rose growled. Pearl shook her head and looked at her.

"There is no such thing as a membership card. Stop this tom foolery!" Pearl demanded. Rose screamed incomprehensibly, pushing herself off of Greg and rushing towards Pearl, pointing her sword at her neck.

"Don't talk to me about my parents!" Pearl looked at her leader with wide eyes, and then narrowed them.

"I didn't say anything about your parents. Stars, you don't even have parents!" Pearl cried out. Rose pulled her lips back, baring her teeth. The sound of crunching drew their attention over to Amethyst, who was munching on a human foot. She chewed slowly, noticing that all attention was on her. Swallowing, she spoke.

"Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way called, she wants her personality back." Rose's eye twitched, she slowly backed away from Pearl, standing still. She was twitching violently, and was muttering something to herself. They all looked at her worriedly.

"Rose?" Greg said meekly. Rose's head whirled around 180 degrees. Greg gulped.

"My-"

"Oh no."

"Name-"

"Rose, please."

"Is-"

"Rose, I'm only human!"

"IVORY!"

Rose slashed at Greg with her sword.

"-And that's the reason why I only have one testicle!" Greg finished with a smile. He ruffled Steven's hair. "Now son, do you feel better?"

Steven looked up at him. His eyes narrowed dangerously and he stood up. Staring at his father for a while, he finally spoke.

"My name is Ivory."

A/N- Yes, lots of Stereotypes used here. Lynch me, flame me, or cry about me on a blog post, whatever. Hope y'all enjoyed it.

Still open to taking suggestions